Wings of Deception: (Kingdoms of Faerie Book 2)
Page 26
Thea dried her skin before wrapping her hair into the towel. As much as she wished to slide back into her leather pants and tunic, there was no avoiding the formality of today’s meeting with the queen. She would need to appear as a princess would, so she strapped on the uncomfortable undergarments meant to protect her from the terrorizing fabric, and stepped into the skirt of an emerald-green gown, pulling it to her waist and tying it against her hips where it attached to a matching corset top. Ethel laced up the corset’s black strings as Thea took her last comfortable breath. Sheer straps sat across her bare shoulders, exposing the freckles that decorated her skin across her collarbones, but this dress was nowhere near as fancy as the one she’d worn to dinner.
Regardless, Thea saw an unfamiliar person as she examined her reflection in the mirror.
The dresses Iris had picked out for her when she’d first arrived in Faerie had not been eye-catching or glamorous, but these new dresses were. They were hand-crafted for a princess, and Thea couldn’t see herself as anything but that when she wore them. She smoothed her hands over the soft material and allowed her damp hair to fall down her back. A blow dryer would have been wonderful at this point, but instead, Ethel wrapped her hair into the rag curlers that Thea had grown accustomed to. Most of the time, Thea didn’t mind just pinning her mess of hair up on her head, but today needed to go without a flaw.
While her hair dried, Thea applied a soft powder from the vanity to the shadows beneath her eyes, concealing the exhaustion to the best of her ability. She then smudged a rouge cream onto her cheeks and lips and used the sparkling powder to decorate her lids. It wasn’t much, but it made her plain face more fitting of the dress.
By the time Thea’s hair was dry and Ethel had removed the curlers, she had ringlets of fiery red falling down her back and around her shoulders. Ethel pinned half of it up, letting the rest of it dance against her skin.
“Beautiful,” she murmured as a knock sounded on the bedroom door.
Thea smiled her thanks and walked to the door, expecting to see Declan waiting to escort her to the throne room, but found herself face to face with Kieran. She paused, her mouth forming a little o of surprise as he drank her in, his eyes roaming from her own, down across her exposed neck and chest, to the vibrant-green dress she wore. She swallowed hard, trying to soothe her dry mouth, when he didn’t hide his appreciation for her appearance.
Thea didn’t trust herself to speak, so she was glad when Ethel said, “You’re not supposed to be here.”
“I need to speak with the princess.” Thea could tell Kieran hadn’t slept by the shadows beneath this own eyes. He’d directed his words to Ethel but never stopped staring at Thea. She needed to find her own voice, or they were all just going to stand there staring at each other all morning.
“Ethel, go find Mica,” Thea said without the tremble she felt all the way in her gut. The look on Kieran’s face mesmerized her. Declan would to be here any minute, but Kieran had still come to speak with her.
“Why?”
“I need you to make sure the guards are ready to go,” Thea murmured, not believing for a second that her guards wouldn’t be ready. Thea hadn’t looked away from Kieran, but she felt Ethel move to stand beside her. She stared at them with concern, but Thea couldn’t shake the emotions blazing within her upon seeing Kieran standing there.
“Thea—”
“Please,” Thea told Ethel, dragging her gaze away from Kieran. She smiled reassuringly at the younger girl.
“Okay, but Declan will be here soon.”
Thea knew that, but that was even more reason that she needed this moment. She was crossing a line that she didn’t know if she could come back from. Kieran had once told her that her mother couldn’t just leave her father, no matter how terrible a person he was. Would it be the same for Thea and Declan? Would they be stuck with this proposal even if they succeeded in their plans? She didn’t know, but the uncertainty of it all made standing here with Kieran that much more important.
“I’ll be fine,” Thea told Ethel and stepped aside so Kieran could enter the room. The night before she’d needed time to process all that had happened alone, but now that she’d done that, his being here felt right. Thea needed to hear whatever it was he had to say. Plus, despite the burning desire within her, she knew what needed to be done for her kingdom and would do it. The proposal was fake, so nothing that happened between her and Kieran was wrong at this point. Unless you counted the fact that they were only hurting themselves with postponing the inevitable separation.
Unless you take Morrigan’s offer, a sly little voice in Thea’s head chimed in, but she ignored it as Ethel left the room, casting one last worried glance over her shoulder. Kieran entered, shutting the door behind him with a soft click.
“When will he be here?” Kieran asked, his face unreadable.
“Any minute.”
They stared at each other, and Thea waited. She’d initiated the rest of their conversations, but Kieran had come here to say something that she didn’t plan to force out of him. The moment they’d shared in the hospital wing was still searing through her memories. Even as her entire kingdom relied on her to stop an immortal war, all she could think about was the taste of his lips against hers. She was about to announce herself to Queen Ismara as the future wife of her nephew; now was the time for honesty if there ever was one.
“I needed to say something before he got here,” Kieran said. His wings rose and fell with each breath he took, and his fingers twitched at his side. “I needed to tell you I’m sorry for the heartache I caused you.”
“Why?” Thea asked, her throat catching on the single syllable. “Why now?”
“Because despite knowing that I made the right decision to leave for our kingdom, I know it wasn’t the right decision for us. You didn’t deserve to be abandoned.” He lowered his gaze. “I meant to protect you, and I failed.”
Every word was dripping with anguish. He’d likely been up all night thinking about this. Part of Thea wanted to comfort him and tell him she understood the decision he’d made, but another part of her wanted to stay angry because he still thought his decision was right. She’d spent six months in agonized numbness because he thought it was best, but where was her choice in all of this? That had been the worst part of the entire situation. No one had given her a choice between being with him and being Queen of Ivandor. Why did she have to sacrifice her heart for this kingdom?
“Say something.” His eyes were on hers as she sorted through the haunting memories. “Please.”
“I’m in love with you, Kieran,” she said, watching his expression. She didn’t know at what point she’d fallen in love with him. It hadn’t been instant, but as their friendship had grown, so had her feelings for him. “Even after everything we’ve been through, I’m still in love with you.”
“Is it real, though?” he asked, sending a sharp pang through her chest. “Ainé chose us for each other, but what about without the bond? What would I be to you then?”
“I can’t tell you what might have happened without the bond, but this,” Thea reached out to take his hand in her own, pressing it to her thrashing heart as she stared up into his eyes, “is the realest thing I’ve ever felt.”
She knew what he was thinking. Free will was something they’d assumed they always had, but Morrigan had ripped away their security blanket. Where did that leave them?
Thea had thought about that too, and it didn’t change how she felt about Kieran. Even if it was their soul bond that drew them together, she loved him for who he was, not because of some magical tie between them.
“This,” she said and leaned up to kiss him, realizing it might be the last time she ever could, “is real to me.”
He let out a shallower breath against her lips, but she only pulled away enough to meet his gaze. She loved him with every fiber of her being, and yet, she was about to walk into a room with another man to announce their upcoming marriage. The unknown outcome of her
future terrified her and broke her heart, but no matter what maelstrom of emotions she felt, she would protect her kingdom.
“I don’t want you to marry him,” Kieran said in the most vulnerable voice Thea had ever heard from him. “I want to run for the hills with you and never look back. Goddesses be damned. Kingdoms be damned.”
Thea smiled a sad smile, because she knew that despite those desires, Kieran would never abandon his people. They all wanted things they couldn’t have. It was just more intense for Kieran and Thea at this point. She didn’t want to marry Declan either. She wanted to grow older and decide if marriage was even right for her. She wanted to have a choice.
“Tell me you’ll never leave me again,” Thea pleaded, blinking through her wet eyelashes. “Promise me you’ll stand by my side until I take my last breath, and in return, I promise you I’ll never marry him. I would rather spend the rest of my life alone than spend a day without you in it.”
Kieran kissed her then, pressing his lips against hers in a gentle caress that made her heart flutter against her chest. She wanted nothing more than to live in his fantasy of running away, but they couldn’t abandon their friends or their kingdom. Thea was the only one who could stop the Goddesses, which meant she needed to stay.
“I’ll never leave you again, I promise.”
His words were the lifesaving rope that Thea needed to keep herself above the raging waters threatening to drown her. They were everything she needed to hear, because despite his broken promises before, she believed him now. She’d seen the way regret had torn him apart when they’d reunited, and even now, she could see the change in him. Perhaps he saw the reality of her marrying someone else, or perhaps he’d stopped fighting fate, but whatever it was, Thea accepted it with a full heart that would only ever beat for him.
She reached her hands up to meet the back of his neck, twisting her fingers into his hair, and pulled him deeper into the broken kiss. Her body ached to be closer to his as his hand rested on the small of her back, but she knew that this moment couldn’t last forever.
Forever. A word that had terrified her for the past six months came flooding in waves of relief across her soul.
“I am yours and you are mine, forever,” Thea whispered against his mouth.
“Forever.”
And then they parted at the sound of a knock on the door. Thea felt lost at the moment they’d just shared, but she touched her lips with the tips of her fingers as they stretched into a soft smile.
“I’m holding you to that promise,” she whispered, before looking toward the door. “Now we have an incredibly convincing lie to tell.”
“Can you do it?” he asked, the flush on his face fading.
Thea hadn’t known if she could pull this off before he’d arrived, but now, with the promise of his companionship, she believed she could. She would not hide this from Declan, though, and hoped that at some point the two men in her life would stop hating each other. Declan had as little desire to marry Thea as she had to marry him, but he still wanted to protect her from Kieran. So she worried about his reaction to the truth.
That was until she opened the door and saw him with a smirk on his lips.
“Am I interrupting?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he glanced over Thea’s shoulder at Kieran. He didn’t look angry or jealous, but determined.
“No. I just wanted to wish Princess Thea good luck today,” Kieran lied, his eyes falling back to Thea’s. “I’ll meet you in the courtyard at midday.”
Kieran walked past Thea, brushing her hand with his own. Chills crept up Thea’s arms, raising the hairs on the back of her neck, but when his silhouette disappeared down the corridor, she turned her focus to Declan and bit her lip. Thea wasn’t sure what Declan would say about the situation he’d caught them in, but his reaction so far had been nothing like Thea had imagined.
He held out an arm for her to loop her own through, just as he’d done in the gardens, and Thea accepted it with a shy smile.
After a moment of walking through the corridor in silence, Declan said, “So, you’ve forgiven him, have you?”
The tone of his question was light, but his eyes searched her face as she tried to conceal the emotions that fluttered beneath.
“I figured that you would, soulmates and all,” he said, patting her arm.
“It’s not just that,” Thea explained, keeping her voice low. The corridor was empty, but it was still risky speaking about this outside of the privacy of their rooms. “I’m in love with him, Dec. I can’t just ignore that.”
“I know,” he said, seeming sincere as he looked at her. “I’ve never seen someone look as broken as he did when he thought you’d attempted to kill yourself. I guess I’ve known since then I didn’t stand a chance.”
The words caught Thea by surprise, so she glanced up at him with a slight tilt of her head.
“You say that as if you wanted a chance,” she said. Her words were thick with tension. “You said Ainé made you kiss me.”
Declan chuckled, cutting through the intensity within her.
“Just because she made me kiss you doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it.” He nudged her with his hip to keep the mood light. “But, like I said, I know I don’t stand a chance, and I’m okay with that. Getting to know you over these past couple of days has been enough to show me why anyone would love you.”
Thea wasn’t sure what to say to that, so she remained quiet as the weight of his confession settled onto her.
“Don’t worry, you won’t break my heart, Princess. I’m just happy you’re starting to trust me.” He smiled at her as they reached the throne room doors. “And I like my new nickname.”
Thea hadn’t realized she’d called him by a nickname, but blushed as she recalled. She wanted to say something that would comfort him, maybe tell him he’d find someone someday that made him feel as in love as she was with Kieran, but she kept silent because the guards were now within listening distance. Instead, she leaned up and kissed Declan’s cheek with a look of pure determination.
“I trust you and am happy to have you as my friend in all of this,” she whispered. The returning smile that Declan gave her was enough to settle her nerves.
She didn’t know if she believed him about not breaking his heart, but she hoped he was right. She didn’t want to lose the friend she’d gained in Gimmerwich. Not only because of the alliance they hoped to form but also because she liked Declan. He had made her feel okay again when the universe felt as if it were crumbling around her. That was something she hoped to repay someday.
“Well, are you ready then, milady?” he asked with a calming smile that settled her racing heart. She was about to tell the biggest lie of her life, but at least she wouldn’t be alone.
She nodded and took a deep, steadying breath as his hand found the handle of the double doors.
“For Faerie,” Thea replied, focusing on the door as she plastered a smile onto her face for the queen.
“For Faerie.”
Chapter 25
Queen Ismara was sitting on her throne, reading a letter over, when Thea and Declan entered the room. She raised her head and handed the paper she held to a short, round man with rosy cheeks who stood beside her throne. His hair was combed back against his head to cover a balding spot that Thea could see from the distance. He smiled as they entered the room, his beady silver eyes sparkling with excitement.
“Princess Thea, I’ve been looking forward to meeting you!” the man said, striding toward them. His round belly shook with every step he took. Thea’s heart raced at his approach, but Declan masked his emotions into a placid expression. Through the corner of her eye, Thea saw the way the corners of his rosebud lips curled up in a slight smile.
“Oh,” Thea resounded as they came to a stop in front of each other. Queen Ismara had said nothing yet, but she was also rising from her chair and walking toward them. The Fae man dropped his eyes to the floor and lifted the back of Thea’s hands to his wet lips in formal gre
eting.
“I am Lord Frederic of Queen Ismara’s High Council,” he introduced himself, returning his gaze to Thea’s. She gave a curt nod and polite smile in response as she folded her hands back in front of her, resisting the urge to wipe away the lingering slobber. Now that he was closer, she could see the slight points of blushing Fae ears beneath the combed-back hair.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Lord Frederic,” Thea said, glancing between the queen and her councilor. This was the first member of a High Council Thea had met outside of her own, and he seemed so gentle compared to the lords who sat at her table.
“Frederic and I were just finishing up some business, as I cannot attend this morning’s council meeting. He will represent me,” Ismara said, moving to kiss Declan on the cheek. He released Thea’s arm, to her displeasure, and greeted his aunt as she said, “Good morning, nephew.”
“Good morning, Aunt Ismara.” The informalities were acceptable within family but Thea was not family, so she bowed to the queen as best she could in the immensity of fabric she now wore.
“My nephew says you have news for me.” Ismara’s eyes were on Thea, although it was Declan’s news they’d come to share, and Thea realized this would be her first test. She was to be the Queen of Ivandor. Would she allow her husband-to-be to speak for her and her kingdom already? Or would she remain in control?
“We have decided that an engagement would be beneficial for both of our kingdoms’ chances against Morrigan,” Thea said, saying engagement rather than marriage. A lie was a lie, but at least engagement felt less like a trap. Thea’s heart felt as if it might beat right out of her chest, but her voice did not falter. She caught Declan’s eye as he returned to her side to take her hand in his own. The softness of his grasp relaxed her, and she smiled at his show of support. “However, I ask that the wedding be in Ivandor.”
Thea hadn’t mentioned this part of the plan to Declan, so she was glad when Ismara didn’t notice the flicker of surprise behind his facade of obedient nephew. She’d thought of all the potential ways this plan could go wrong over her sleepless night, and Ismara asking Thea to stay in Gimmerwich longer was something they could not allow to happen. She needed to return to Ivandor and Iris so they could put the rest of their plan into motion.