Me Dying Trial

by Patricia Powell

  Then all of a sudden, a little voice come on over the loudspeaker near her room, and Gwennie hear them call out her name. Gwennie fling off the cover. She wonder if is she, in truth. She cock her ears and listen. ‘Gwendolyn Agusta Glaspole?’ Yes, is she, but who could be calling her up this early hours of the morning. Her mind fly back to the letter she get from Grandma just last week. Grandma say Dave come down with whooping cough again and that Grandpa did have to take him to the doctor. Gwennie start to wonder if something happen to Dave again. ‘Lord have mercy,’ she moan in her belly, as her breath start to come out loud and fast.

  ‘Gwendolyn Agusta Glaspole?’ Them call her again.

  ‘Yes,’ Gwennie answer out, ‘yes, what is it?’

  ‘Somebody down in the lobby to see you.’

  Gwennie fling off the spread and jump out the bed. She hold on to the bureau, her fingers gripping hard onto the brown mahogany. She wonder if is Grandma, if something happen to she or Grandpa. Something happen to Delores. Rudi get in trouble. Gwennie haul on her duster over the pink nylon nightie, and draw the string tight around her waist. She haul on her push-toe slippers, then she open the door. Her hands fly to her hair, it need combing. But Gwennie never bother comb her hair that morning. She pull out her old hat and tuck her hair under it. Then she bolt out the door, down the hallway, then down the steps—two at a time. She wonder if something happen to Aunty Cora, if Walter find out about Luther. If him take away Peppy and Aunty Cora come to tell her . . .

  When Gwennie step into the lobby, she never see a soul at first. Then she see him stand up over in the corner looking at pictures of governors and prime ministers long dead, frame-up on the wall, his back to her. Gwennie’s head reel and she long for a mug full of scorching black mint tea. Him lose a little weight it seems, trousers kind of sag on his behind, and his headback was thinning out.

  Then him turn to look at another picture, and Gwennie’s eyes spot the box underneath his arm. She know the box. Him used to bring it every week full of paradise-plum, mint-ball and ginger-log, when them used to courten. The reeling stop. Him turn round. Was walking towards her, hefty-like, the same walk him use infront students at Porous Youth Corp. Him give her the box and her fingers close over it. His eyes weren’t saying much in particular, and when him open his mouth, the sun coming in through the glass window twinkle on his one gold tooth. Gwennie blink.

  ‘How you do?’ Walter ask her.

  ‘Alright,’ Gwennie whisper. She could use that mug of mint tea, in truth.

  ‘The children miss you. Them dying to see you again. You must see Peppy, big and fat, cut-puss own self. Aunty Cora feed her in truth. Gwennie, I miss you and Peppy bad-bad.’

  Walter turn way his head, and Gwennie notice how the vein in his neck stick out big. Last time she see it so bad was at his sister’s funeral. Gwennie swallow and sigh deep. She wonder what him know, but by the way him acting, maybe nothing. Him face her again.

  ‘Gwennie, I change. I had a long chat with your Aunty Cora and I change round for the better.’

  Gwennie hold her breath.

  ‘We can try start over. I will try treat you better. I will really try.’

  Gwennie tear the tape off the box and open it. Her fingers fasten to the mint-ball right away. She manage to get one off her finger and she give it to Walter. Then she push one in her mouth using her tongue to roll it over to the far corner of her jaw, leaving it there to melt. People were starting to mill round now. She notice them starting to stare.

  ‘Come upstairs with me,’ she tell Walter. ‘Come see where me live.’ His face and eyes light up, and in one quick flash, him look just like when she did first meet him twenty-five years ago in Miss Ruthie’s shop buying tobacco for his father. That time him never more than twelve going on thirteen.

  ‘So you think you and Peppy will come back, Gwennie?’ Walter ask as them climb up the stairs.

  But Gwennie never hear him, Percy Clock was coming down the stairs in front her, fingers fidgeting, face twitching nervous-like. Walter’s eyes follow her own, and the vein in his neck pop out again.

  ‘Percy, good morning.’

  ‘Hi, Gwennie.’ Him glance over at Walter. ‘Just coming from your room. Was wondering where you gone so early this morning. Did come to talk.’

  ‘I was downstairs in the lobby, but I will come by later. I have things to talk with you about, too.’

  Percy’s fingers were fidgeting even more when Gwennie and Walter continue on up the stairs.

  ‘Who’s that, Gwennie?’ Walter ask as Gwennie open the door to her room.

  ‘Friend,’ Gwennie answer, closing the door behind her.

  PART THREE

  I

  The little baby, Peppy, grow fast with every mouthful of Lactogen she swallow and the new girl, Gizelle, Aunty Cora get to help look after the shop, learning quick-and-brisk. It give Aunty Cora more time to spend with the little baby. And Aunty Cora grow to love the little girl. Every morning after she get up and tidy herself, and after her grand boy, Leslie and her adopted boy, George, bring in and scald the cow’s milk, she pour out a mugful, cool it and then pour it little-little over her nipple so the baby can suck it and lick it like the real thing. And when she suck down the entire mugful, Aunty Cora burp her and then sway and hum to her until the little baby fall asleep.

  Sometimes when she sit down on her bed with the baby in her arms, Aunty Cora think about her only son, Buddy, Leslie’s father, who live in England with his wife and children. And she think about how she never had a chance to rock and hum to Buddy, for her mother did take him and raise him. Aunty Cora wasn’t fit to look after him since she was so sickly herself. When she finally married and doctor say she couldn’t have any more, she was sad for a long time, for by this time she and Buddy already grow up like brother and sister. She help her sister, Clara, and her brother, Skip, raise them children, but it wasn’t quite the same. Now Peppy feel like her very own; only three months.

  Even before Peppy start to walk or even chat, Miss Irene would tidy her and put on her clothes, brush her hair and put her in her pram. Then Aunty Cora would take her down to the shop, set her up in the corner next to the beer and soda bottles, and leave her there the whole day with her suck-suck in her mouth while she and Gizelle tend to customers.

  Now Aunty Cora was a very large and round woman. And her voice was high pitched. When she laugh, it sounded like a whoop and you could hear it echoing minutes after she finish. New Green was a small district. Everybody know everybody, and everybody know and talk about everybody’s business. One whole month pass, and every time customers come into the shop them see the little baby sit down-up in her pram near the beer and soda bottles with her suck-suck in her mouth. And so them begin to talk.

  But talk and talk as them want, them make sure them keep the talking outside the shop and on the piazza where plenty people who don’t have anything to do sit down on the long bench. And them sit down out there and wonder and talk and try figure out where this baby come from. But none of them did have the gall to ask. Miss Cora was a big respectable woman and if she want to tell you her business she will tell you. But take care you don’t play the fool and ask her. For she bound to shame you. And so them wonder and wonder until Babbo, one of the ones who don’t have anything to do, couldn’t take it any more.

  Him step inside the shop one day and start to play with Peppy from across the counter. Him wave his fingers at her and ask her name. Peppy gurgle back to him and grin. Aunty Cora was leaning on the counter facing Babbo, her two hands holding up her jaw, and her eyes looking through her thick glasses at the cows across the street in the common eating up the dry grass. Over in the corner, two men talk quietly over plenty bottles of beer between them. Babbo order a glass of rum and push seventy-five cents on the counter. Aunty Cora refuse to pay both him and the seventy-five cents any mind.

  Babbo clean his throat. ‘Miss Cora, give me a glass of rum.’

  ‘Babbo, pick-up your money and don’t bothe
r me today. For I don’t know how many times I must repeat the same thing. I not selling you rum, for when you drink it, you curse and go on like a bloody fool.’

  Babbo don’t say anything. Him know the tone of her voice, nothing going to move her. Him pick up the money and put it back in his pocket. ‘Miss Cora, the little baby, Peppy . . .’ The two men over in the corner stop talk quiet and listen. ‘Boy, that little baby look just like you, Miss Cora, dead stamp. You know, Miss Cora, is the first baby I ever see that look so much like the mother. She look nothing like her father.’

  Aunty Cora take her eyes off the cows. ‘Which father you talking about, Babbo?’

  Now everybody sitting outside on the long bench get up and come inside.

  Babbo continue. ‘Well, for months now, we been looking. Every night we look to see who is the baby father but we don’t see anybody. We never see any car come pick you up and bring you to Lying In. We never see you get any morning sickness or anything. So we can’t figure where this young baby come from all of a sudden.’

  Aunty Cora look up at the crowd in the shop. She look across the counter at Babbo. And she look at Peppy. Then she open up her mouth and whoop. For fifteen minutes nobody could say anything. And after she finish whoop, Aunty Cora take out the bottle of rum and pour Babbo a drink. ‘After you drink this, please go home. Cause you don’t know how to control liquor. One drink and you tumble over and chat nonsense. Look how me old. Anderson dead now three years. Look how me old, and the whole New Green still think me have man and him get me pregnant. You not shame, huh, all of you sit down and talk about it behind me back. I hear it. As old and blind as I am, I stand up right here at this counter and hear every word you say about me. You not shame?’

  The shop empty out by this time, and after Babbo drain the glass and stumble out, only Aunty Cora, Gizelle and the baby remain inside the shop.

  II

  As the days go by, Peppy start grow and form teeth. Her baby hair start drop out and new roots of thick hair start to grow. She start to eat crackers and banana and bread and chicken back, and she start to curse too. Every word she hear in her seat next to the beer and soda bottles, she pick up, and pretty soon everybody that come into the shop she have argument with them and call out them name.

  In no time Peppy turn regular with everybody, the same way Gizelle and Aunty Cora. And so, whenever Babbo and the other men come inside the shop and order drinks, them order one for Peppy too, even though is only milk or vanilla-flavoured nutriment or aerated water. And as Peppy start to walk and pronounce more words, Aunty Cora slip her a drink of white rum or a sip of beer now and again. Peppy seem to like that very much. After every mouthful, she close her two eyes tight, and swallow it the same way Babbo and the other men do it, then she clean her throat after it go down, stamp her feet two times to make sure it go down all the way, and when she certain, she open-up her eyes, look at Aunty Cora, grin and ask for more.

  Back up the house, as soon as cock crow and morning come, and Aunty Cora leave the room to tidy herself, Leslie and George grab up the little girl from off the bed, where she sleep next to her Aunty Cora, dress her up warm, and put her on them shoulder. And them bring her with them go pump water, feed chicken, tie out donkey and goat so them can eat fresh grass, milk cow, and chop wood to cook breakfast.

  Now all this time Peppy growing, she never take much notice of the brown lady with the burn cocoa-butter complexion and the tall man that come to visit Aunty Cora every three months. All she know is, she never like the brown lady much. The man okay, for whenever him come, him wouldn’t always lift and shake her up the way the brown lady love to do it. Instead him give her presents. Each time bringing something wrap-up inside a paper bag. Sometimes mango, starapple, piece of jack fruit, coconut tart, sugar bun, drops, but mostly lollipops. The lollipops she like most, for Aunty Cora didn’t sell them at the shop. And him would tear off the plastic paper and push it in her mouth, allowing her to suck and lick and drool to her heart’s content. Sometimes the man stoop down infront her while she lick the lollipop and just look at her, his face long and thin and sad looking.

  But it wasn’t so much the lift up and shake up that cause Peppy not to like the brown lady, it was more her eyes; them resemble the eyes on the dolly Miss Gertie Fines bring her back from May Pen. First of all, both dolly and the brown lady have the same burn cocoa-butter complexion, then its two eyes, wide and piercing resemble the leaves of orange trees when night coming down, sort of greenish-brownish. And it make Peppy feel afraid. Often times, she try digging out the dolly’s eye with a piece of stick, pencil, anything sharp. But Miss Gertie would always catch her. And after she tell Peppy how as long as she live she will never give her anything else for she much too damn destructive and things too dear nowadays, she slap Peppy on her fingers.

  Then the brown lady would come, stoop down, pick her up from out the pram, and put her face up close. And when Peppy see the eyes, greenish-brownish, peering at her, she open her mouth wide and holler and squirm until the brown lady have to put her down. Then the tall man would pick her up and give her something to eat, and she like the way him smell of sweet-smelling soap and rum mix up together.

  And as she suck the lollipop, the tall man walk her around the shop and point out different-different birds and call out them name, and him point out different-different trees and call out them name, and him tell Peppy his name is Walter, and she must hurry up and grow so she can meet his three sons Rudi and Dave and little baby, Jeff, who just one year younger, and his daughter, Delores. But Peppy didn’t really care about his name or about the different-different trees or birds or his sons and daughter, all she want was the gold tooth the sun always twinkle-twinkle on, and the glasses him wear for she couldn’t see his two eyes through it.

  When she come back from her walk with Walter, him would give her over to the brown lady, and Peppy would holler and scream and squirm until the brown lady have to put her down again. Then Peppy would run over to Aunty Cora and climb up in her lap.

  And Aunty Cora would ask her. ‘Peppy, why you won’t go over to your mama and allow her to lift you up so she can see how you growing?’

  But all Peppy catch out of the whole sentence was the word mama. And so she kiss her Aunty Cora face with her sticky lollipop mouth and say: ‘Ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-Co-ra.’

  III

  When Peppy turn four, Aunty Cora send her to the little infant school where her cousin Miss Doris prepare children before them go on to big school. And it seems as if Peppy’s brain was quick, for she pick up counting and saying the alphabet fast, and so by the time she turn five, her Aunty Cora have her round the counter selling goods, wrapping and weighing sugar and corn-meal, and making change from one, two and five dollar bills, just like she and Gizelle. And as she continue on at the infant school, Peppy turn good friends with Miss Doris’ granddaughter, Vin, who just two years older.

  Peppy and Vin start to do everything together. Them play together, them go church together. Them play doctor, them play church, them play dolly-house, and it was a great relief to Aunty Cora. For because of the shop, she never have much time to spend and play with Peppy, and since Leslie and George getting up into them teens now, them don’t have much time for Peppy either.

  She didn’t like the way Miss Gertie handle Peppy a tall. She was much too rough. She remember how one day as she was sitting down in her usual spot, on the barrel near the window with the big glass case over in the corner so she can see everything going on outside without moving or turning her head too much, she see a thing that burn her belly-bottom bad-bad. It was a Saturday evening and Miss Irene did cook and send Aunty Cora’s dinner by way of Miss Gertie. So Aunty Cora was eating, right over there on the barrel next to the window and the glass case. Miss Gertie did step outside, for she know Aunty Cora didn’t like the way her pipe smell with the tobacco. And outside, Miss Gertie see Peppy and three little boys playing police and thief. Peppy was the police, she did just catch one of the three robbers, and t
he other two were trying to help him escape. All in all, Peppy was in the dirt wrestling with the three boys. And a scowl cover over Miss Gertie’s face and her eyebrows furrow up.

  For a long time Miss Gertie been grumbling to herself, and to anybody who would listen, about the way Cousin Cora allowing Peppy to grow up. And after she grumble and grumble and it start to become a bile in her belly, she face Cousin Cora about it.

  ‘Cousin Cora, I know is not me business or anything. But when a person see certain things happening, them can’t always just shut up them mouth about it.’

  Aunty Cora wasn’t really in the mood for Miss Gertie, for she find that Miss Gertie complain a little too much for a big woman. But anyway, just for argument’s sake she answer: ‘What’s the problem now, Miss Gertie?’

  ‘Well is Peppy, ma’am. I think that maybe you spoil her. Allow her to get her own way too much. Look how many things you buy her. She have so many clothes she don’t know what to do with them. And all she do is dirty them up and give Miss Irene and meself plenty work to wash and iron them.

  ‘And look how you have her down the shop everyday. You won’t even send her up the house so me and Miss Irene can train her how to cook and clean house, maybe even crochet and tack on buttons. She’s a little pickney, she don’t need to hear some of the big-people’s argument that go on in the shop. Then look how you have her running the streets with George and Leslie. And look how she destructive, mash-up and tear-up everything you give her . . .’

  Miss Gertie did have plenty more to say, but Aunty Cora tell her: ‘Come on, Miss Gertie, man. Is only a little baby, leave her be.’

  Nonetheless these things Miss Gertie say bother Aunty Cora deep. For with all the children that she raise, this one the youngest she ever have, and she don’t know sometimes if she teaching her the right things or not.