Playlist
“I’ll Get You Home”—By The Coast
“Part of Me”—By The Coast
“Ocean”—Lady Antebellum
“Animal”—Troye Sivan
“My Blood”—Twenty One Pilots
“Outnumbered”—Dermot Kennedy
“Cringe”—Matt Maeson
“One Track Mind (feat. A$AP Rocky)”—Thirty Seconds To Mars
“Amsterdam”—Gregory Alan Isakov
“My Way”—Frank Sinatra
“Milestone”—Joey Kidney, Matt Walden
THE LIFE YOU STOLE
Book Two
Jewel E. Ann
This book is a work of fiction. Any resemblances to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales are purely coincidental.
Copyright © 2020 by Jewel E. Ann
ISBN: 978-1-7337786-6-4
Kindle Edition
Cover Designer: Kerry Ellis, Covered by Kerry
Formatting: BB eBooks
Table of Contents
Playlist
Title Page
Copyright Page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Chapter Thirty-Two
Chapter Thirty-Three
Epilogue
Excerpt from Transcend
Acknowledgments
Also by Jewel E. Ann
About the Author
CHAPTER ONE
Ronin
The voice.
A light.
I waited for the end.
Hinder not the soul’s intended path unto the light, lest shards of darkness shed upon thee.
When their heart stopped, I was supposed to let them be—like a walking DNR, except EMTs saved lives. We rarely pronounced someone dead in the field. We didn’t deal with souls; we dealt with human bodies.
I compressed chests, shocked hearts, and breathed air into lifeless lungs. I did this knowing that less than half of CPR recipients regained a heartbeat, and only ten to twenty percent of those patients lived to be discharged from the hospital. I did it because I made the choice to be a superhero in spite of the risk of suffering eternal death.
The end came for me. My time to die. No more saving lives. An end to perpetual suffering.
Only, no light greeted me.
No voice.
The familiar ringing chimed in my ears, my connection—that energy—I shared with the soul I hindered. The life I saved. The ringing stopped when that person died. But Lila didn’t die. That ringing should have stopped when I died.
The feathery pine tree branches framed the patchy, gray clouds. I blinked as those clouds spit droplets of rain onto my face. I wasn’t dead.
“Lila …” I whispered, running my fingertips along my neck. It ached, tender to touch. Rolling onto my side, I groaned while climbing to my hands and knees, letting my head hang like a ten-pound bowling ball between my shoulders. I took a few labored breaths of the damp air, thick with musk and pine. And life.
Yes. I was alive.
Glancing up, I scanned the narrow trail for my phone. It taunted me, just feet out of reach. On another groan, I stretched my hand across the wet dirt to grab it and lumbered to my feet.
“Lila …” I wiped my dirty hand on my shirt and tapped her name in my contacts.
After several rings, it jumped to voicemail. Then I tried Graham.
On the second ring, he answered. “Hey, buddy. What’s up?”
“Graham, where’s Lila?”
“Are you okay? You don’t sound so well.”
I cleared my throat, trying to steady my breathing. The words flowed on a wave of panic, strained and shaky. “I just …” Closing my eyes, I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Evelyn was trying to reach Lila, but she couldn’t, and she was getting worried.”
Graham chuckled. “Lila’s in the shower. Should I have her call Evelyn when she gets out?”
“Uh … no. It was nothing really. Is she … okay?”
“She’s great. Why do you ask? Are you sure you’re okay? Is Evelyn okay? The kids?”
“No … I mean, yeah. We’re fine. Just, forget I called. Don’t worry Lila. It was just Evie being Evie. You know.”
“Yeah, I know. She worries about everything, but rightfully so since Madeline died.”
“Yes.” I ghosted my fingers over my neck. “Sorry to bother you.”
“No problem. Give Evie and the kids big hugs from me.”
“Will do.”
Graham disconnected the call before I could bring the phone away from my ear. How could she be fine? What the fuck happened to me? She was it. She was the life I saved. I felt her and no one else. If that wasn’t her, then what was it?
Living Lila. Constant tinnitus. The cloud of eternal death following me everywhere. Talk about un-fucking-familiar territory.
Why did my heart stop after she coded? What did that mean for her? For me? For that little thing I wanted to keep called my sanity?
I thought I knew the rules, but maybe there were no rules to a phenomenon I couldn’t explain and a voice I couldn’t prove. All signs pointed toward insanity, but I knew I wasn’t crazy, even if everything about it felt crazy.
Did that happen? Could I truly not breathe? Or did I feel something that wasn’t actually happening to me? But if I felt what Lila felt, and it was happening to her, it should have been worse for her. It made no sense that I nearly died while she was in the shower and—perfectly fine?
On wobbly legs, I trekked down the trail, the cool air nipping at my sweaty skin. By the time I pushed through the back door, the panic and discomfort subsided. Evie and the kids had already left for the library. After experiencing the scariest, most painful moment of my life, I tore off my clothes and grabbed a shower, trying to make it to my meeting on time. Wiping the condensation-covered mirror, I inspected my neck.
No redness or bruising. Nothing.
Cringing at the residual tenderness, I swallowed past the discomfort like someone had stepped on my neck and crushed my trachea.
“How was your meeting?” Evie maneuvered Anya’s squirmy legs through the holes of the highchair at the restaurant.
Franz crawled into the booth next to me, pulling out library books from his cloth bag and piling them onto the table to show me. I scooted the water glasses away from the books and smiled at my wide-eyed, young boy.
“It was good.” I didn’t remember anything from the meeting. When called upon to speak, I had to shake myself out of a daze, and after that, I couldn’t recall what incoherent words came out of my mouth.
“Are you okay?” Evie sat on the opposite side of the booth, eyes narrowed as she brought her glass of water to her lips.
“Yeah. Why?”
“You sound off. Like you’re down or something. Not your usual jovial self.”
�
�Just tired. The trail kicked my butt today.”
“And you got rained on, correct?” She smirked.
“I did,” I mumbled, trying to accompany my reply with a smile. She was right. I felt as off as I sounded to her. An impenetrable, invisible wall thwarted my efforts to act fine—a dozen ghosts in a room and only I could see them. They haunted me and only me.
“Well, let’s stuff ourselves on pizza, get little princess and Mr. Library Boy down for the night, and then crawl into bed early too.”
“I’m not tired,” Franz replied, flipping through one of his books.
I forced the fakest-feeling grin, an invisible gun shoved into the back of my head. The fact that it felt forced at all kicked me in the gut. What the hell was wrong with me?
Evelyn saved me by filling the dinner conversation with hopes to drive out to California to visit her dad and sister. I nodded on cue, busying myself by helping Franz with his pizza and holding his drink so he didn’t spill it. Anya kept Evelyn distracted which made my lack of engagement a little less noticeable.
After we returned home, I trudged through brushing tiny teeth, corralling wiggly bodies into jammies, and reading library books while Evelyn picked up the mess in the living room and enjoyed a hot shower. By the time she emerged from the steam-filled bathroom, my body hugged the edge of the bed, eyes closed.
“You should have been lazy with me and the kids today.” She pressed her naked body to the back of mine, ghosting her lips down my spine as her hand slipped into the front of my briefs.
I swallowed, squeezing my eyes shut tighter as my body stiffened—everything except the part of it that needed to be stiff. Over five years of marriage, forty-one years of life, and never did I have issues getting an erection.
Degrading.
Embarrassing.
Emasculating.
Un-fucking-believable.
Forcing myself to relax didn’t help. Forced plus relaxed didn’t equal erection. They were oxymorons. Evelyn’s hand slid back out of my briefs, leaving her body idle next to mine for several minutes—long, excruciating minutes. It felt like someone choking the life out of me all over again, only the invisible force had ahold of my dick instead of my neck, cutting off the circulation. Of course, Evelyn said nothing and did nothing. A regrettable moment that left a permanent mark, the first time her hand held my cock in a limp state. Normally, just her proximity made me hard. She could give me an erection from a smile or the slightest whiff of her flowery scent.
The sway of her hips.
The way her hair brushed along the swell of her breasts.
The purr of my name on her lips.
Literally anything.
Until that moment.
No explanation existed. Yet, I had to say something. It fucking killed me. I couldn’t blame it on not feeling well, a logical explanation and the closest to the actual truth—or so I thought since I didn’t know the true reason. My wellbeing set off all kinds of alarms in Evelyn’s head, and rightfully so. That left me with an explanation as lame as my goddamn dick.
“I’m really tired. And I may have strained my groin muscle on the hike.”
“Oh … sorry.” She kissed my back, letting her warm lips linger between my shoulder blades. “Night.”
“Night.”
CHAPTER TWO
Evelyn
“The Rockies lost.”
I glanced up from the register when Graham waltzed into my shop. He gave the lady sampling some lotion an easy nod. Her blush said she instantly recognized him. How could she not recognize Graham Porter, hands down the most handsome governor of all fifty states? His two guys waited for him by the door as he closed in on me.
“Where’s your employee?”
I jerked my head toward the back. “Cleaning my lab.”
He smirked. “I love that you call your glorified storage room a lab. It makes you sound like a real scientist.”
I narrowed my eyes, imagining all kinds of bodily harm I could do to him, before retreating to the back room with Graham right behind me. “Sophie, can you watch the front while I privately insult the governor?”
Even Sophie showed her lack of immunity to Graham’s enigmatic aura. She bit her bottom lip, unable to keep from looking incredibly flirty. “You got it.”
After the door shut behind her, I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest, my usual position when talking to Graham, especially when he seemed to be in an overly self-assured mood. “I didn’t watch the Rockies. I also didn’t bet on them. Did you fly up here just to talk baseball?”
“Do you remember when I took you to New York for your twenty-seventh birthday?”
I hesitated before giving a single nod. Graham’s reminiscing often ended in making me feel bad about myself, bad about him, or epically confused. I wasn’t in the mood for any of that. Ronin’s intimacy issue from the previous night weighed heavily on my conscience.
Rejected.
I know he didn’t mean to make me feel rejected. He couldn’t control his inability to get an erection. However, my mind jumped to blaming myself for not being sexy enough, as if that erection or lack thereof measured my sex appeal.
“When we passed that little soap shop in Chelsea, you told me you wanted a bath and body shop. You told me it was your dream, and you didn’t care how crazy it sounded since you had a college degree. Then you said the only thing better than owning a shop of your own was not having to worry about debt like your parents worried about it for so long.”
Again, I returned a cautious nod, narrowing my eyes a bit. That trip imprinted many great memories into the storybook in my head. Graham treated me like a cherished friend. We ate at the most expensive restaurants, took in a Knicks game with courtside seats, two Broadway shows, and several days of shopping.
“Well, here you go.” He reached into the pocket of his light gray suit jacket, pulled out a folded piece of paper, and handed it to me.
“What’s this?”
“The deed.”
I unfolded it. “To what?” The tiny print of legal jargon made my head ache.
“This building.”
“I … I don’t understand.”
He shrugged. “It’s a small building, more of a nuisance than anything. You might as well just take it.”
“Graham …” My jaw melted to the floor. “You can’t just gift me a building worth a lot of money.”
“Why not?”
“B—” I choked on my tongue. “Because it’s insane!”
“You’re my best friend. I want you to have it. Ronin is my friend too. You both deserve to have a life where you don’t sweat the little things like … rent.”
“Graham … this isn’t a deed to my house. This is a building with other businesses paying rent. You’re not simply giving me a rent-free space. You’re giving me a source of revenue that extends far beyond this shop. I can’t accept this.” I shoved the piece of paper into his chest.
“Why not?” He took a step back, sliding his hands into his pants pockets to distance himself from the rejected gift.
“Because it’s too much.”
“I paid thousands of dollars in medical bills for your parents. That wasn’t too much?”
I shook my head. “That was different. I would have sold my soul to the Devil to get them the treatment they needed.”
He chuckled. “So, I’m the Devil?”
“If the shoe fits.”
“Don’t be stubborn, Evelyn. This is nothing to me, and you know it. But if anything ever happened to Ronin and you were on your own, this ease of financial burden would mean a whole helluva lot, and you know it.”
“Why would you think something is going to happen to Ronin?”
“No.” He rolled his eyes. “That’s not what I meant. I’m just stating the facts. Things happen. Things we don’t expect. Things we can’t control. Do you really think I thought my wife would fall off the side of a mountain?”
I flinched, the memories burned like a
cid slithering up my throat.
“Exactly.” He took three steps forward, resting his hands on my cheeks. “Just say ‘thank you,’ and let’s forget about it.”
“Thank you,” I whispered, suffocating under the weight of his gift but losing my will to fight the senseless battle. Graham mastered manipulation, always getting his way. I knew this would drag on forever if I tried to reject his gift.
He smiled. “See … wasn’t that easy?”
I didn’t feed his satisfaction by agreeing with him. And he didn’t let go of my face. Then it just got awkward.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked with a slight nervous vibrato to my voice.
“Like what?” He rubbed his thumb over my cheek. Graham liked control. It was his favorite game. I liked taking it from him. That was my favorite game. But sometimes it didn’t feel like a game.
“Like you should look at Lila … and only Lila.”
“Oh, Evelyn …” He leaned down and pressed his lips to my forehead like he’d done a million times before, but it didn’t feel like those other million times. “I don’t give Lila a look. We communicate in a much more physical way.”
He bent her over a chair and stuck his dick in her ass on their wedding day, an awful image still in my head.
I swallowed.
He smirked.
“How are my babes? Is Franz playing T-ball yet?” Graham let his hands fall from my face, returning them to his pockets.
It took a few seconds to rebound from the whiplash of envisioning Lila and him having sex to Franz playing T-ball. “If you want babes to play T-ball, then maybe you should have kids of your own.”
He pursed his lips to the side, giving me a slight squint. “Lila is still seeing a physical therapist. I don’t think knocking her up is the best idea, but thanks for your concern. We’ll keep practicing.”
“Why do you treat me like a locker room buddy? Do you really think I want to hear about the details of your sex life with my best friend and hear you use degrading terms like knocking her up?”
“Details?” A sly eyebrow quirked up his forehead, conveying too much pleasure in my misstep of words. “I haven’t given you any details. Do you want details? I trust you more than anyone you’re supposedly referencing as a locker room buddy.”
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