The Life You Stole

by Ann, Jewel E.

  “I don’t know, Graham. Should Ronin be comfortable with the ease at which you manipulate me?”

  Really, the shower and imagining her naked in real time was just a bonus. Evelyn admitting that I had a certain amount of control over her could have gotten me off all on its own merit.

  “Friends don’t manipulate. They … encourage and plead their case. Maybe on occasion there’s a little begging involved. Call it influence. It’s a much better word than manipulate. Believe me, you manipulate or have more influence over me than any woman has ever had over a man.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “It’s true.”

  “Okay. Great! Then I need you to come train Mrs. Humphrey. Let Lila go back to the job she loves. And stop saying and doing inappropriate things around me. Do I have that sort of influence over you, Graham?”

  It took me a few seconds—a few strokes—to answer because I liked Evelyn and her signature benevolent smile. Everyone adored the nerdy soap lady. But I loved the bold and lively side to Evelyn. A lightweight with a real punch.

  “Anything for you—”

  “That’s the crap I’m talking about.” The water stopped. Which meant … naked Evelyn drying her wet, naked body. “I don’t want you to do anything for me.”

  Women … really … why did I like them so damn much? As a whole, they were a gigantic thorn in my cock. “I meant … anything for Mrs. Humphrey. Does she like bones or tennis balls?”

  “I have to get dressed. I’m going to be late.”

  I reached for a wad of tissues on the table because confirmation of her nakedness took me straight to the finish line.

  “Graham? Did you hear me?”

  “Yeah …” I panted.

  “Why are you out of breath?”

  “Treadmill.”

  “I’m driving to Denver to visit Lila tomorrow. She’d better be the happiest wife in the world.” Evelyn ended the call.

  I chuckled, wiping off my dick and hands before tucking everything back into my pants. I had a meeting on sexual harassment in an hour—funny timing. “Good talk, Evelyn,” I said to the air.

  To my surprise, my wife greeted me in a long-sleeved dress that hugged what few curves remained on her underweight body, a wig that looked one hundred percent believable, and makeup covering all residual bruises on her face. The cast and sling were unfortunate, but perfection at that point felt unachievable. After all, she wasn’t Evelyn.

  “You said to meet you out front.” Lila glared up from the ottoman where she used her good hand to put on her high heels, but she struggled to keep her dress from catching her other foot.

  I sauntered toward her, kneeling at her feet. “I saw someone today,” I said in my most somber tone as I slid her shoes onto her feet, feathering my fingers along her calves as I gave her my most sincere expression of regret.

  She stiffened under my touch, and her eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

  “I don’t like what has happened between us.” I dropped my chin to my chest, closed my eyes, and slowly shook my head. “I need to fix us. I hate what’s happened. You deserve better. And I know I can’t erase the past, but I can make sure we don’t repeat it. So I’m going to do the work to be a better husband and get help. I just …” I sighed, glancing up at her. “I just need you to give me a chance to be a better husband. I miss spending time with friends and traveling together. I don’t know how things got so out of control, how I let this job consume me … change me. But it stops now.”

  Tears filled her eyes. “You can’t make things right. It’s too late.”

  “No!” I grabbed her arms then immediately loosened my grip. “It’s not too late. You have to let me prove it to you. I’ll do anything … anything.”

  “Tell Evelyn what you did to me.”

  Fuck …

  “Baby … if I tell her, she’ll never forgive me. So even if I fix us, there will always be a wedge between the four of us. Is that what you want? A strained relationship between your husband and your best friend?”

  I wiped her tears as soon as they broke free.

  “You ruined us,” she whispered.

  “No, baby … we’re stronger than that. You are stronger than that. If I keep getting help, if … if I let you go back to your old job, we can fix this. I believe it with my whole heart. Just give me time. If I don’t change, you can pack your bags and leave. But you have to promise to not tell anyone. I want us back. Not rumors and scandal. Not broken friendships. We can have everything again if you just trust me.”

  “You lost my trust.”

  “I’ll earn it back.” My urge to force an answer warred with my need to channel my anger. “Baby steps. Let’s start with dinner. Okay?” I stood and held out my hand.

  Lila stared at it, void of any sort of emotion. She needed to happy that shit up before visiting with Evelyn.

  “Evelyn and Ronin got a dog. Did you know that?”

  Her brows lifted a fraction, not quite hitting the happy mark, but curiosity opened the door to the possibility of a real smile. Baby steps.

  She rested her good hand in mine, and I helped her to her feet. Lifting her hand to my mouth, I gave it a soft kiss. “I love you. And I’m going to make you love me again too.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Evelyn

  “You’re too thin.” I hugged Lila, trying to keep from bumping her shoulder. “But your hair looks fabulous. Lowlights?”

  “Uh, yeah. And you have no room to talk about being too thin.” She nodded toward the formal living room just off the foyer. A tiered tray and tea for two adorned the coffee table.

  “Well, this is fancy.” I lifted an eyebrow at her.

  Lila, dressed in her sophisticated yet adorable burnt orange and gray jumper, took a seat in one high-back navy velvet chair while I sat across from her. “I miss afternoon tea. I had it when I traveled—many moons ago.” She pointed to the goodies on the tray. “Pink rhubarb shortcakes, cheddar pecan scones, blood orange sticky buns, Earl Grey teacakes, and avocado toast with smoked salmon. Tea?”

  I nodded as she poured us both a cup of tea. “Is this tea set a Porter relic?”

  Lila shrugged with her good shoulder. “Probably.”

  “Are you eating?” I questioned her. “I’m genetically curve-less. Boy-shaped. Brilliant artists sculpt figures like yours … the one you used to have. And … don’t get mad at me, but you made me promise to kick your ass if I noticed you falling victim to anorexia again.”

  Lila grabbed a shortcake and shoved half of it in her mouth. “No anorexia,” she mumbled over a mouthful to prove her point.

  “Are you going to stick your finger down your throat when I leave?”

  “No.” She laughed. “I’ve just been busy and injured. And Graham had me taking a self-defense class. So my curves disappeared. I’ll get them back over the holidays.”

  “Well …” I leaned back, sipping my tea and assessing her with my most scrutinizing gaze. “You look good. And it’s not your figure or even that amazing jumpsuit or your new hairstyle. It’s your smile. I haven’t seen the real one for quite a while. It’s nice.”

  “I’m meeting with a few people about starting my own engineering firm again. I was going to find someone looking to add a partner, but Graham insisted I be my own boss. Have financial control.”

  “You signed a prenup. So technically Graham is funding it and controlling it.”

  “True. But he agreed to a contract giving me full control if we’d ever divorce.”

  “That’s … surprising.” I plucked a cheddar pecan scone from the tray and took a bite.

  Lila twisted her lips. “Yes. Definitely surprising. I’m not sure what to make of his recent change of heart. I didn’t think he’d entertain the idea of me going back to my job until his term ended. And honestly, I anticipated him making some excuse to run again or run for the senate … president. Who knows?”

  Me.

  Graham made things right with Lila because I told him t
o do it. I wanted him to do it for her, for them. But the smile on Lila’s face was enough to let me overlook the other details, at least temporarily.

  “How are you and Ronin?”

  “Good question.” I frowned. “I’m not sure if he’s bipolar or feeling pain from someone else. He hasn’t told me about saving anyone’s life since he saved you. But he’s not right. One day he’s insatiable, and then he goes weeks without touching me beyond a quick goodnight hug and kiss. Then on a whim he brings home a dog without saying anything to me.”

  “A dog … yeah. Graham mentioned that.” Lila smirked.

  “Yep. We talked about getting one, but I assumed we’d decide together the actual when part. Nope … he just showed up one night with a dog. Basically dropped it in my lap like a third child then escaped to the bedroom because he wasn’t feeling well. He takes Mrs. Humphrey on walks in the morning and when he gets home. He feeds her and occasionally picks up poop. But for the most part, it’s been my job to housebreak her and train her to play with her toys instead of eating Anya’s stuffed animals and Franz’s Legos.”

  Lila giggled. “Graham said you named her Mrs. Humphrey. How did that name come about?”

  I couldn’t hide my shock that he told her. That made me happy. It meant he found it interesting or funny. It meant he wanted to share it with his wife. “It’s Franz’s teacher’s name. I discouraged it. He had a fit. Ronin said it wasn’t a terrible name. It’s growing on me, but Franz keeps asking to take her to show and tell. I can’t. The kids will laugh at her name, and I’ll look like the disrespectful mom that allowed her kid to name the family dog after his teacher.”

  Lila didn’t laugh as much as I expected her to. “I’m sad for you and Ronin. I feel responsible.”

  “No.” I shook my head a half dozen times. “You didn’t know you were going to fall off the side of a mountain. It’s a miracle you lived. We don’t regret miracles. And Ronin is a paramedic. He’s wanted to save lives since he was a little boy. Even after his accident and his experience … he chose to save lives. Some firefighters never make it out of a burning building. Some soldiers come home with permanent wounds. People who do extraordinary, brave things do it knowing it could kill them or change them forever. They don’t want our sympathy; they want to know that the people they protect and save don’t waste their second chance at life. If you want to thank Ronin, be happy. Okay?”

  Lila dabbed the corners of her eyes and bit her lips together as she nodded. I kept my own emotions in check, just barely. Even with all the anger I felt sometimes toward Ronin, those words flowed effortlessly from my mouth. I loved him for a million reasons, saving my best friend was just one. However, loving him wasn’t the problem.

  “I’m trying. This past year has been unimaginable. But Graham took me to dinner last night. Then we walked down the street to that ice cream place that has the mango-lime gelato. He held my hand like we were just a couple in love strolling under the evening lights. I didn’t think of the security tailing us or the occasional photo snapping. He didn’t look at his phone. Not once. Then he ordered rocky road and told me how his grandma introduced him to rocky road. He told me about the first pet he owned—a rabbit. It’s crazy how long we’ve known each other and I never knew he had a pet rabbit. Did you?”

  I smiled. “No.” Graham told her something he never told me. That didn’t erase his indiscretions, but it was a step in the right direction to redeem the man I’d come to think of as unredeemable.

  “He also had a stuffed dog named Moolah because his dad complained about all the things a real dog would destroy and how much money it would cost to replace them.” Lila grinned. “Why did he wait so long to tell me these things? To open up to me? Why did he wait so long to be the man I thought I was marrying?”

  “Better late than never?” I wrinkled my nose.

  Her gaze rested on the tiered trays. “I’m not sure. Do you ever …” She trailed off a million miles away.

  “Do I ever what?” I leaned forward, refilling my cup of tea.

  “Do you ever wonder if Graham is truly …” When her gaze lifted to mine, it filled with a dark emotion.

  Pain?

  Regret?

  Fear?

  “Truly what?”

  “Trustworthy.”

  No. He was not to be trusted. The voice in my head screamed, “RUN!” Then another voice started listing the things he’d done for me and my family.

  That Porter-Taylor scoreboard flashed in neon.

  His whispered threats.

  My pregnant sister.

  My father with a kidney that would not last forever.

  The Clean Art building.

  “What don’t you trust about him?”

  “He’s just different. I mean, we’re all different. Older. Married. Kids. Different jobs. Responsibilities get in the way. We don’t shut down the bars anymore. I don’t get to Aspen as often to make soap with you. You don’t watch games with Graham anymore. But you’re still you. And on good days…” Lila gave me a half smile “…I’m still me.”

  “You don’t think Graham’s still Graham?”

  He wasn’t. I questioned not only his loyalty to his wife and friend, I questioned his sanity. But while my best friend remained married to him, those words sat nervously idle in my gut. Approaching the “your husband may be a psychopath” subject required absolute proof. Loving me, desiring me, didn’t necessarily make him a psychopath, just a terrible husband. Sniffing me … that rode the line, but it also fit into the pervert category. Not all perverts were psychopaths. The worst part? I would have told Lila about his inappropriate behavior had it not been with me. As ridiculous as it sounded, I felt like I could rehabilitate him, steer him back on course. Avert an affair that would have happened had it been anyone else but me whom he pursued.

  “Sometimes he’s Graham. Sometimes he’s unrecognizable. One moment he’s kind and his amazing self, but other times I feel like he wishes he hadn’t marry me. And please, please don’t tell him I said that. I know you’ve always felt responsible for our happiness together, but you’re not. And after last night, I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize his generous mood. I’m just expressing my thoughts … my fear that it won’t last.”

  I nodded slowly. “W-what has he done to make you question if he really wanted to marry you?”

  Lila shook her head. “It’s nothing. Silly actually.”

  “It’s not silly. Just tell me.”

  Her nose wrinkled as her gaze met mine and several pregnant seconds passed. “Occasionally, I think he wishes he would have married you instead of me.”

  Those words evoked strong nausea. Had she seen something? In the Hamptons, did she see one of the multiple occasions that Graham crossed that line by the length of an ocean? “Me?” I laughed a little, as much as I could with my scone churning in my stomach, pushing bile up my throat. “He’s made it his life’s goal to remind me how imperfect I am compared to you. He encouraged me to pursue Ronin. He knows our drunken mistake in college proved we would never work well as anything more than friends—”

  “But what if …” Her nose remained wrinkled.

  I couldn’t blame her. Graham’s feelings toward me fell into the cringe-worthy category. My grimace tried to claw its way to the surface as well. I held it back.

  “What if you thought it was a mistake, but he didn’t? I know … I know it sounds crazy, but what if he’s secretly been pining for you all these years? And what if his insults were high school antics, reverse psychology to get you to like him … to encourage you to prove him wrong by getting him to like the very things he said he didn’t like about you?”

  My jaw dropped, feigning shock. How could I expect anything less from my best friend? She noticed guys eyeing me before I spotted them in a room. Her intuition was right nine out of ten times. Lila graduated with honors, navigated the world by herself for years, started her own company that she later sold to be the governor’s wife. Beyond her endearing trait
s of kindness and loyalty, my friend possessed a wicked intelligence and razor-sharp intuition. When Lila seemed blind to something, it wasn’t because she didn’t see it; it was simply because she purposely turned a blind eye to it.

  “I don’t know what to say, except, if there’s any truth to your theory, if Graham had feelings for me beyond friendship, he knows I’m happily married. In the pining scenario, he has no chance of being with me in that way. So it makes no sense to ruin his marriage for … misplaced feelings from the past.”

  No lie.

  It didn’t make sense to risk his marriage for a fantasy. Graham had no chance of ever being with me.

  “I know. Trust me, I know it’s ridiculous. But sometimes the ridiculous is real. Have you ever sensed it? Even a little bit?”

  Yes. When he rubbed his erection against me, sniffed my crotch, and announced that I was his endgame or challenge in life, I sensed a bit of pining.

  “You know I’m oblivious to little signs, subtle gestures. So, if there’s any truth to it, then I don’t know what to say. If it were the case, I’d feel terrible. Devastated even.”

  I did. I felt terrible. And the times he crossed that line, I felt complete devastation.

  “And if you knew it for sure or could prove it, what would you do? I mean … what do you do if your husband longs for something he can never have? Clearly, he won’t ever cheat on you with me. But you also have to know that I support you and your happiness without preexisting conditions. I told you to love you first. And that hasn’t changed. We are forever, even if you and Graham are not.”

  She scraped her teeth along her lower lip several times, pointing her gaze to her teacup. “I’m not leaving him. And if you ever told him about this conversation, he would never forgive me.”

  “Lila, I will never say a word to him.”

  “I just need …” When she glanced up, tears filled her eyes.

  “Your friend,” I whispered.

  She nodded.

  I set my tea on the table and moved to her side, giving her a gentle hug and a kiss on the cheek. “It killed me to keep the truth about Ronin from you for so long. I needed to tell my friend, but it’s hard to tell your friend if that friend is then put in the position to feel responsible. I get it, Lila. I understand completely. But we have to always remember that this is more than friendship. We are family.” I released her hand and knelt on the floor beside her chair, resting a comforting hand on her leg.