by DoctorHepa
“You best get punching,” Li Na said.
* * *
It only took five punches for the summoning to start. The moment it did, Grull cried out and turned in our direction. He roared and started galloping at us.
“Oh, fuck,” I said. We picked up the former mantaur, who mumbled under his breath about killing with honor and drinking mead at the table of kings. His blue face paint ran off his face in rivulets mixed with tears and blood. “Sorry, buddy,” I whispered at him as we tossed him up at the rapidly-approaching cart. We jumped out of the way as the body, with only one second left, entered the portal and disappeared.
Grull, who appeared to have been readying some massive, body-glowing attack, whiffed away, leaving nothing but a smoke outline in the air.
The music stopped. There was no additional announcement like there usually was. Suddenly the only sound was the chugging of the Nightmare as it pulled up to a stop a few tracks over. Tizquick the dwarf leaned out the window and gawked at the remains of the dead mimic. In the distance, a group of wide-eyed crawlers emerged from one of the crashed train cars. They turned and ran from the scene, not trusting that this was over. I didn’t blame them.
A whole page of notifications scrolled by.
“Glurp, glurp, motherfucker,” I said before I collapsed in an exhausted heap.
A note from DoctorHepa
One more chapter to go in the main body of this floor. Too bad you gotta wait. Anyway, here's a great pic of Toby and HEY! Get out of the photo, Freddie!
Chapter 107
A note from DoctorHepa
Note: this is the second of two chapters today. Make sure you've read 106 before you read this one.
Time to Level Collapse: Five Hours.
“I wish we could’ve used my bolt,” Katia said as we carried the portal cart, turned it and positioned it onto the employee track. The wheels fit just inside the wider track.
“It would’ve been a waste,” I said. “He was right. We couldn’t have hurt him. I’m pretty sure Princess Formidable giving it to you was more about sending a message to her brother than about actually getting us to kill him. Don’t worry. We’ll get to use it eventually.”
With the death of the mimic, even more ghoul generators had exploded. After the Maestro hit the abyss, we received reports of a few additional blown generators at a few station 72s, though I suspected and hoped we could do better than that. My guess was the Maestro had bailed on his sponsorship after getting teleported away, thus creating less destruction in the pit than I hoped for.
In the middle of the enormous, disgusting pile of dead mimic, a single object appeared on the map. The neighborhood bosses dropped the neighborhood map. The borough bosses dropped the field guide. I already knew what this was going to be thanks to both the cookbook and Mordecai. It was a little late to be useful now, but I figured I might as well grab it anyway.
I waded into the gore, picking up the prize. It was called the Map of the Stars, and it added boss locations and descriptions to a large area of the map. I zoomed out and saw nothing nearby except a few mantaurs who were moving in the opposite direction.
“I can’t believe that jerk is still alive,” Donut said. “At least you got to humiliate him all over again. I mean, really. He had unlimited power, and he completely messed it up. You’re lucky it wasn’t somebody who knew what he was doing.”
“You’re right,” I said. I looked up at the ceiling. “That had to be really embarrassing. I bet even the mom would’ve done a better job. Too bad she died instead of him.”
“What, exactly, are we doing here?” Elle asked. She floated just off the ground. She couldn’t normally fly as high or as fast as she’d just done. She’d wasted a precious scroll on the maneuver. I promised her I’d find another and give it to her. She’d laughed and kissed me on the cheek.
“We’re going to send the Nightmare into the abyss, and it’s going to blow up, and it’s going to kill loads of Krakaren monsters and maybe even that province boss. The whole ghoul system is already overloaded. One more big shock, and hopefully the whole system goes down.”
“But it’s way on the other side,” she said.
“It doesn’t matter. As long as it’s on the same floor.”
Elle cocked her head to the side. “Sometimes I think you’re cheating, Carl. How do you know all this stuff? It’s like you have one of those teacher’s editions with all the answers in the back.”
“He does,” Donut said before I could think of an answer. “His name is Mordecai.”
She grunted. “You lucked out with him. Our Mistress Tiatha is as useless as tits on a goose. You should figure out a way to use that nuke you have in your inventory. I bet that’d clear out the abyss.”
“I’m saving that for something very specific,” I said.
System Message. A champion has fallen. A bounty has been claimed.
We all looked at one another.
Imani: Are you guys all right?
Bautista: You okay?
Carl: Not us.
“What do you think that was?” Donut asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Believe it or not, Donut, there’s all sorts of stuff going on out there that we’re not part of. I’m too tired to care right now. It was probably that shepherd killing the goat because he wouldn’t shut up.”
“I hope it was Lucia Mar,” Donut said.
“I doubt it,” I said. “I really do.”
* * *
“Okay,” I said to Fire Brandy. “Let’s get you and your babies out of here.”
Tizquick the dwarf, who’d helped drive the train down to the yard exchanged a look with the demon.
“No,” she said.
“What do you mean? We’re driving it into the abyss. It’s going to explode. You’ll die.”
“Yes, Carl,” Brandy said. “We’re aware. We’re both aware. The dwarf and I have been discussing this, and we’ve decided to stay with the train.”
“Honey, what about your two babies?” Katia asked.
“It’s three babies now,” Brandy said. She smiled sadly. “They gave me three this time. I remembered. After talking with Tizquick. I remembered my babies from before. Last time I was in a boiler, in an engine that controlled the heat for a massive boat. And the time before that, it was for a castle’s heating system. Each time, I thought it was just a job. A way to earn money for my children. And I’d have them. I’d have one sometimes. Sometimes two. This time it was three. But then they were just gone. I had names for them. Each and every one. You’re not supposed to name them until the ceremony, but I had given them names. Each one is different. They’ve never returned to me. But I’m always back. Every time. But not anymore. They won’t use me like this ever again.”
“Nor me, lad,” Tizquick said. “Dontchu worry. I know how this works. I’ll make ‘er blow nice and big just before we hit the bottom of the pit.”
Donut: CARL. IF THEY BLOW UP THE TRAIN AND NOT YOU THEN YOU WON’T GET THE EXPERIENCE.
Carl: That’s okay, Donut. Sometimes it’s not always about the experience.
“Okay,” I said. “I have a few more explosive satchels to place at the back of the train, and then you’ll be ready to go. Goodbye, Brandy. Goodbye Tizquick.”
“Carl,” Brandy said as I stepped off the train. “I understand now. I understand what this is. You must help us. I know you have your own people to help, but we shouldn’t be enemies in this.”
“No,” I agreed. “No, we shouldn’t.”
* * *
The train backed up to the edge of the trainyard, whistled twice, and then sped toward the portal.
“Another floor ending with a big explosion,” Katia said after the train disappeared.
“Spoiler alert, Katia,” Donut replied. “It’s always going to end with an explosion. Every time.”
Zhang climbed back into the cart and turned off the portal. Li Jun and Li Na stood off to the side, talking amongst themselves. I remained there, staring a
t the empty space where the portal once was. Fire Brandy had just killed herself to save her from losing more children. Tizquick had killed himself because his daughter had been a lie.
I thought of my own mother, who’d attempted to kill my father and then herself as a goddamned birthday present to me. She’d only half succeeded.
I thought of everybody here with me now. They’d all jumped into certain death, just to save me. Me. I couldn’t have survived without them. All my life, I’d felt alone. And now, at the edge of the apocalypse, I finally realized how much I needed other people.
Donut jumped to my shoulder. “How long before we know if it worked?”
A line of notifications appeared. Experience notifications flew past, one after another.
“It worked,” I said. “Hey Katia, bad news.”
“Oh yeah?” she said. “What’s that?”
“I’m a higher level than you now. I just hit 41. Got a fan box, too. It looks like we killed lots of monsters in the abyss, and I got at least partial credit for it. Don’t know why, but I ain’t complaining. I don’t think we killed the province boss, but that’s okay. Plenty of time for that later.”
Bautista: You did it. You bastards did it. We just felt the generator explode. We’re going to move in toward the stairwells now. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Donut purred heavily in my ear.
“You shouldn’t have done that, Donut,” I said as I reached up and scratched her. “You risked yourselves, and you risked the cart.”
“I wasn’t just going to abandon you, Carl,” Donut said. “Who do you think I am? Miss Beatrice?”
“No,” I agreed. “You most definitely are not.”
* * *
We walked up the employee line and returned to station 36. Ghouls still appeared occasionally, along with full-sized Krakaren monsters. But Imani held the line. The entire group waited for us. The stairwell had been open for some time now, but nobody had gone down yet. They all waited for us.
“Carl, Carl!” Donut cried as we approached the stairwell. “We never tried to sell my hats.”
I had, actually, tried to sell one while she was in the training room. The proprietor had laughed at me and said nobody was buying them anymore. Not even for a single gold. I hadn’t the heart to tell her.
“We’ll try on the next floor. They’ll be collectibles by then.”
Her eyes got huge. “You’re right. We’ll sell them on the next floor. We’ll be millionaires.”
“If I never see another train again, it’ll be too soon,” Elle said as she went down the stairs. “See you guys on the other side.”
“Be safe,” I said.
I moved to step down the stairs, but they suddenly turned into a ramp. I turned to see a familiar crawler pushing a squeaking shopping cart. Agatha. She was now level 8. It still said she was human and that she hadn’t yet chosen a class.
“Agatha?” Imani asked.
“I see you lot are still kicking,” the old woman cackled. The pink flamingo still stood in the front of her shopping cart. The entire group watched, open-mouthed as the woman moved toward the stairwell.
Imani moved forward to intercept her. I held out a hand to stop her.
“Don’t,” I warned. “We’ll talk later.”
“But,” she began. “I… What? What is happening?”
The woman disappeared down into the stairwell.
Loita (Admin): Odette is waiting for you. I’ll be joining you in the green room to discuss our new arrangement.
Donut: WHERE IS ZEV?
Loita (Admin): We’ll discuss it in person.
“Goddamnit,” I muttered as we went down the stairs.
~
Here’s the thing. These poor bastards are just as much victims as we are. Not just the NPCs, but the mobs, too. That doesn’t mean don’t kill them. Hell, I realized something today. Killing them is actually the best thing we can do for them. But you know what I also realized? All of you, all twenty-four of you who have come before me? You’ve all failed in one thing. If we’re really going to burn this place to the ground, we need to actually do it and not just talk about it. We need to start killing them, too. I don’t know for sure how to do it yet, but I have an idea.
They will not break me. Fuck them all. They will not break me.
But I will break them.
This is my promise to myself, to my friends, and to you, anyone who reads these words.
I will break them all.
End of part 4
A note from DoctorHepa
And that's it, folks! Chapter 108 will be on Thursday, and it is the epilogue/Odette chapter. There may still be a little twistiness left in the book, but we are done. Thank you all so much for hanging out with me for all of this craziness. Part 5, titled
Hopefully tomorrow in the US we will see a peaceful, orderly vote, and that both sides accept the outcome with the resolve and decorum and calm we Americans are known for.
* * *
Last week I started putting peanuts out so the squirrels and the migratory birds have something to snack upon. I accidentally ended up summoning a horde of Stellar's Jays into the area, which are basically crows with blue mohawks. They're pretty cool birds, and they think peanuts are the shit. They live here year-round, so now I'm stuck feeding them all winter.
Chapter 108
Loita stood atop the table that normally contained our snacks in the production trailer. She looked very much like Zev, but maybe a little taller and thinner. She did not wear the deep-diver suit but instead had a simple, rebreather-like device around her fish neck. She stood in a puddle of brackish-smelling water. A shiny, blinking pin sat on her breast area. It was the dahlia-like symbol for the Bloom. I tried to commit it to memory. I was no artist like Katia, but after this, I would do my best on the scratchpad. I’d already drawn out the symbol for the Syndicate and several other symbols I’d come across, like that toy company who made Bautista’s stuffed animals.
Keeping track of that stuff was something the cookbook sorely lacked, and I would make certain that was fixed. Symbology seemed important to the mudskippers, which meant it was important to the crawl and the future floors. The last floor had proven we really needed to pay attention to stuff like that.
“First off, put that thing away,” Loita said, pointing at Mongo, who’d rushed up and sniffed at the admin. She did not flinch at the dinosaur’s attention.
“We can’t use our inventory,” Donut said.
The production trailer was above the surface, meaning we were in the secondary zone. I still didn’t know what that really meant, but I knew certain dungeon-specific items and protections didn’t work here. That was something else I was determined to find out about.
Loita raised her hand. “Your inventory is open for twenty seconds. Put him away. Put that book away, too, Carl. Katia, store the backpack.”
I had pulled one of the horror novels out of my inventory as we descended the stairs. Last time we’d had to sit here for almost an hour, and I wanted to make sure I had something to read. This one was an old, beat-up novel called Stinger.
Katia had been in the habit of keeping a smaller backpack and just a few pieces of mass when she was in her “regular” form as a way to make herself taller. But when she appeared in the trailer, she’d been her human self with the heavy backpack straining on her shoulders. It appeared her doppelganger abilities did not work in this area. That was strange. She put the backpack away.
Donut looked up at me, and I nodded. “Come on, Mongo, cage,” Donut said. Mongo screeched in dismay but turned back toward the cat as she activated the carrier. He sucked away into the ether.
“And the book,” Loita said. “You can’t bring the book onto the set.”
“Fuck off,” I said. “It’s so I can have something to read while we wait.”
Loita looked angry, but only
for a moment. She shrugged. “Suit yourself, but you need to keep it in the green room.”
“It’s what I always do,” I said. “Where’s Zev?”
“Zev is taking some much-needed time off. She’s had a… personal tragedy… back home. She’s been sent off to a temporary reeducation retreat so she may reflect upon her life and her personal philosophies. But do not worry. Such things never take long, especially on the weak-minded. When she returns, she will remain as your social media manager, but I will be taking up primary duties as the team’s PR agent.”
“Well if we don’t have Zev, then we’re not…” Donut began. I held up my hand to stop her.
“Will you always be coming with us to these interviews?”
Donut jumped to my shoulder. She was trembling with rage. I reached up and put a calming hand on her.
“Yes,” Loita said. “We are putting tighter controls on the information crawlers are being fed through these interviews in an attempt to make the crawl more equitable toward those who aren’t privileged enough to get a view of the world outside the dungeon.”
That’s just wonderful, I thought. In addition to the cookbook and Mordecai, our once-a-floor, post-interview chat with Odette had done more than anything else to help keep us alive.
“Great,” I said.
“Indeed. Do you have any questions for me?”
“Yeah, I have a question,” Donut said. “Why don’t you take your ugly…”
“Stop,” I said. “We don’t have any more questions.”
“Carl,” Donut said. “You said we only work with Zev.”
“Don’t worry, Donut,” I said, staring directly at the fish. “We can’t do anything about Zev right now. She’s on a short vacation. Isn’t that right, Loita?”
“That’s right,” Loita said, her mouth forming a straight line.