The Blind Date

by Landish, Lauren

  Mom pulls the buttermilk biscuits, her own famous recipe, from the oven, sniffing deeply. “These look delicious.”

  Mom’s compliment means a lot to me. “You want to do a video with me? We can split one as a taste test.”

  Mom rolls her eyes but nods. “A quick one, honey.”

  Whipping out my phone, I put on my smile and hit Record, my fingers already waggling with Mom in the background. “Hey, Sunshiners! Happy Sunday! Just here to give a huge shout out to my mom, who taught me so much.” I look to Mom, my eyes getting a little glassy as I think about all the lessons she’s shared with me. Even the obsession with clean underwear in case of a car wreck. Back to the camera, I say, “Including these amazing buttermilk biscuits! Seriously, some good homemade biscuits will brighten any day. Drop a pat of butter or jam, and take some time to enjoy!”

  Mom and I tap biscuit halves like we’re toasting, and I tuck my share into my mouth, chewing slowly and savoring the flavor. It might be total food porn, but my reaction’s honest as my eyes close and I moan at the deliciousness. Mouth still full, I say, “Thanks, Mom.”

  I give everyone another Sunshine Salute and end the video.

  Looking at my phone, I preview the video quickly and laugh. “Mom, you were saluting with me!”

  “Of course! I know what’s up,” Mom says, smiling as though that’s something ‘fresh’ the kids are saying these days. “I might not understand everything you do, Riley, but I’m your mother and number-one fan. I’m on Team Sunshine no matter what.”

  I give Mom a hug, and she pats me on the back. Noah smiles at me, having watched the whole video-making moment.

  He holds up two glasses of wine as Mom and I separate. “Oh, thanks, Noah,” Mom says as she takes hers. “Let me help you get some of those.”

  Between the three of us, we carry the wine to the living room, handing them out to Arielle, River, and Natalie.

  “How’s everything going with the latest version after the hacker issue?” Natalie asks River. She’s obviously well-informed on everything Noah’s up to at work, which makes my heart happy. There’s a difference between a mama’s boy and a boy who loves his mama. Noah is obviously the latter.

  “Good, thanks to that guy.” He points to Noah. “Not because he fixed it, of course, but because he went in to oversee the real brains behind the operation. The coders.”

  Noah chuckles at the jab. “Well, we know you’re not the brains.”

  “No, I’m the pretty one,” River taunts, striking a model pose that admittedly does look GQ-sharp. Not that I’d tell him that.

  “Hey, guys, speaking of Blind Date . . .” I say, interrupting their friendly banter.

  Noah and I agreed that the initial news should come from me. It might be a bit gender-biased, but also, I’ve got the reputation for being the happy one. This is happy news, and I want people to share in the excitement and joy Noah and I are feeling.

  “I asked you all here to make an announcement,” I tell the group, and from his spot River looks surprised. Usually, when I have something to say, he’s already been given a spoiler alert. “Uhm, as you all know, River and Noah have recently launched a new app, BlindDate. And, well . . . I signed up. And . . . I met this wonderful guy. Like, the computer or AI or whatever is in the app practically superglued us together, we were so close.”

  Mom’s jaw drops open, her hands below her chin. Her excitement is palpable.

  “Did you meet this guy already?” River asks. “Because I can probably do some background check stuff based on what he put on his profile. If we can’t, the coders can. Right, Noah?”

  I take a step forward, getting between River and Noah. “I already met him. I’m already dating him. I already care about him . . . a lot.”

  Noah puts a supportive hand on my shoulder, and I lay mine over his. It’s intimate, and the meaning is totally obvious.

  All sound stops.

  Arielle looks smug since she already knows and is here for moral support and the show. Mom and Natalie both look shocked in a good way, but River . . .

  River stands from the couch, slamming his wine glass to the table. “What the fuck?” Noah and I stand resolute, a united front prepared for this. I think.

  Well, we have a plan, at least.

  For River to be fine. Or shocked. Or angry. Or, in my rainbows-and-sunshine hopes and dreams, for him to be super happy for us. Noah had laughed at that one, saying he hoped I was right, but knew I was gonna be wrong.

  It seems Noah was correct because River growls at Noah, “Outside. Now.” Noah gives me a reassuring nod, but I step between them.

  “Do not disturb my neighbors with your testosterone-fueled phallometrics!”

  River and Noah both turn to me with wide eyes, their argument forgotten for a thin moment while they try to translate my words. I guess they’re too amped up for four syllables at a time.

  Arielle helps them out, stage-whispering, “She means dick measuring contest. But she’s too polite to say that in front of Rachel.”

  “How about we talk somewhere more private, then?” Noah tells River, the picture of calm, cool, and collected as he gestures down the hall to my bedroom.

  They close the door behind them, and the four of us look at each other for a hot second before speed-tiptoeing down the hall to press our ears to the door. It might not be polite, but none of us are judging the others because we all want to know how this conversation is going to go.

  “They’re not going to kill each other, are they?” I ask softly.

  “Nah,” Arielle assures me. “It’s an evolutionary thing. Men need to grunt and beat their chests from time to time. Now, the real question is, are they going to whip ’em out? Because if so, I would love to be a fly on the wall in there.”

  “Arielle! That’s your brother!” Natalie hisses.

  “Mom, I’ve seen Noah’s dick. All too recently, in fact.” Arielle fakes a big, disgusted shudder moving through her body as she looks at me from under raised brows. The mothers catch on quickly.

  “You knew about this?” Natalie asks.

  “Of course I did. Why does everyone forget that Arielle knows best, Arielle knows all, Arielle is always right? It’s like canon. Just accept it.” She waves her hand like a queen talking to her peasants, which might warrant further challenge, but the guys start talking loudly and we tune in to that instead, forgetting Arielle’s potentially overinflated ego. Especially since, to be honest, she’s mostly right.

  “What the fuck, Noah?” River demands again.

  “We didn’t mean for this to happen, Riv. But it did and I’m not sorry. I’m damn glad, actually.” Noah lets out a sigh, and I hear the springs on my bed creak quietly and assume he’s sitting on the edge of the bed.

  “Motherfucker, look at you all comfy in my fucking sister’s bed. You think that’s okay? I noticed you went right to the cabinet for glasses, but I thought . . . hmm, well, maybe Riley told him where to get them. And you head right to the bedroom like you’ve been here before. But obviously . . . you have. I can’t believe you, Noah. I trusted you, and you go and fuck my sister?”

  River is ranting, his footsteps loud as he paces back and forth across my bedroom. My hopes of the neighbors not hearing all my business are dashed because I know they’re hearing this. The walls aren’t that thick.

  I put my hand on the doorknob to go inside, but my mom stops me. “Let them do this, honey. This is a big deal to their friendship, and in a way, a big deal to yours and Noah’s too. Know what I mean?”

  I do, but I don’t. I want to rush in there and tell them to stop this nonsense. River doesn’t get to decide who I date, and Noah doesn’t have to prove himself to my brother. But with all three women’s eyes on me telling me that Mom’s right, I take the glass of wine Natalie is forcing into my hand and down it in one swallow.

  “There’s my tough girl,” Mom says.

  And then we’re listening again. We’ve missed something, but Noah seems to be telling River ho
w it all went down.

  “ . . .only meant to do a system check, but the percentage was so high. Ninety-six percent! And the message made me smile. Me, River . . . I smiled. And so we started talking. All day, every day, and I was . . . happy. I don’t walk around all fluttery and light, smiles and shit. But talking to her, I did. So we agreed to meet. And Riley showed up.”

  “And that should’ve been the end of it right there,” River snaps.

  “I admit we were upset and confused. We’d both used fake names and didn’t know. But I couldn’t let her go, not after getting to know her. It worked, man. The AI worked. I would’ve never, in a million years, thought Riley Sunshine was my match. Would’ve laughed at the very idea. You know me . . . does that seem like the other half of my workaholic shitshow?” River must shake his head or something because Noah says, “Exactly. Of course not. But she is. I’m not fucking your sister.”

  River growls, and there’s a loud rustling followed by a few grunts. I’m worried their argument is getting physical. “I care about her, man. I fucking care about her. She makes me happy, and I make her happy. Don’t you see?”

  Noah doesn’t sound happy right now. He sounds miserable, like a connection he’s counted on for so long is disintegrating right in his hands. But that can’t happen. I refuse to believe River is that much of an asshole. He won’t let Noah’s and my being together ruin their friendship. Right?

  “Did you fuck with the code?” River demands. “Ninety-six percent? Really?” he adds with a disbelieving scoff.

  “The AI? Of course not. I couldn’t even if I wanted to, which I didn’t. I wasn’t looking for this. But Riley is . . . undeniable. You’ve met your sister, right? Who spends five minutes with her and doesn’t think that the world is a better place and magic is possible?”

  “But you didn’t tell me. Neither of you did. Why?”

  “Because she scares the shit out of me, Riv!” Noah explodes, his voice honest even through the wood door. “She scares the shit out of me because after talking for a week, I needed her to get through the day. After seeing her, holding her, getting to know her, I can’t imagine life without her.” My bed springs squeak again as Noah sits down heavily. “I can’t explain it any better than that, man. She’s all sunshine and I’m a grumpy asshole, but she’s making me better. A better person . . . me! And I see her, beyond the ‘happy all the time’ front she puts on. I see how she worries for her followers who are struggling. I watch her make all these plans to get everyone else to smile, and I understand how she gives and gives and gives. And I just want to be the man who takes care of her. Not because she needs it but because she deserves it.”

  Arielle and Mom meet my eyes, which feel red and puffy. I must be crying, but I don’t care. What I care about is the feeling in my heart and how I want to tell Noah that he’s teaching me too.

  “Then why didn’t you tell me?” River asks, softer this time. He’s hurt, the angry lashing out hiding the sting of being left out of something so important to his best friend and his sister.

  “Because we weren’t sure at first either. We didn’t want to cause all this commotion if it wasn’t worth it. But she’s worth it. We’re worth it. And whether you want to admit it or not, I’m worth it.”

  Natalie swallows thickly beside me. She knows how difficult that must’ve been for Noah to say, and I take her hand comfortingly.

  River sighs heavily, and I can imagine him running his fingers through his hair the way he does when he knows he’s taken the losing position. Historically, I’ve only seen him do that with Dad when we were kids—begging to take the car or extend his curfew. But it seems fitting now. We don’t need his blessing, but I’d like to have it. Noah’s friendship and my relationship with River are important to us both.

  “Don’t you dare fucking hurt her.” It’s his concession, as close to a blessing as we’re going to get. And I’ll take it!

  “If I hurt her, you won’t have to do a thing,” Noah says quietly, his voice blurred by the door. “I’d never forgive myself.”

  River laughs bitterly. “Goddammit. You know, of all the assholes I know—and let’s face it, I know a lot of assholes—nobody’s been ‘deserving’ of my little sister . . . but I guess you’re as close as it comes.”

  Love through insults, such a guy thing.

  “Aw, that’s so sweet,” Mom says with a sweet smile. “And we’ll know what to talk about over dinner now, won’t we?” Mom eyes Natalie, and the light shining in both their eyes should have me running for the door in fear. But I can’t leave my guests, especially Noah, to the firing squad. Even if they’re only firing questions.

  “You know I still get an open shot anytime I want it, right?” River warns as the door opens, and my happiness turns into worry until Noah grins evilly.

  “Sure, just not the jewels. I hear your Mom is hoping for grandkids, and you fire more blanks than a Matrix movie.”

  River’s punch is lightning-fast, cracking Noah in the jaw. His head whips back, and I scream in surprise.

  But Noah comes back up laughing and then plops on the bed to catch his breath.

  “You . . . baiting son of a bitch,” River spits out, pointing at Noah accusingly. “You made me waste it.”

  Noah laughs. “I figured you needed to get it out of your system. And that’s your one.”

  “I didn’t even punch you that hard,” River growls. “I want a take-back.”

  “Felt like that was everything you had,” Noah says, wiggling his jaw with his hand, but he seems totally fine. Which is weird. That’s weird, right? “Arielle punched me harder.”

  River shoves Noah in the chest, and Noah lets the momentum carry him back to lie on my bed. From his prone position, he looks over to meet my eyes. His are filled with joy, but I’m sure mine are filled with confusion because guys are weird. “See, Sunshine? I told you everything would be fine. Apparently, I’m sleeping on your side of the bed tonight, though.”

  Noah pats the bed like I’m going to join him now, and River throws his hands up. “Food. Now. I have feelings I need to stuff down and deal with later. Where are the biscuits, Mom?”

  And with that declaration, River walks through the gathered group of women in the doorway, heading straight to the kitchen. Mom and Natalie give Noah and me a look of understanding before turning to walk down the hall.

  Arielle has to get the last word in, though, as always. “Repeat after me, Arielle is always right.”

  In unison, we intone flatly, “Arielle is always right.”

  “That’s the spirit,” she answers with a smile.

  Left alone in my bedroom, I run a finger along Noah’s jaw as he stands up. “Are you okay?”

  He shifts his jaw from side to side. “Sure. Not the first or the last time River and I will come to blows. Sometimes, we do our best negotiations that way, and things always end up for the better afterward.”

  I blink. “Guys are weird.”

  “Yeah, you didn’t know that already?” Noah asks. But his lips are tilted up on the corners, teasing me.

  “Let’s get some dinner before River inhales all the biscuits. If you liked my eggs, wait’ll you taste these.”

  “I’ll eat your biscuits any time,” Noah says from behind me as we walk down the hall.

  “I heard that,” River mumbles around a mouthful of biscuit as he shoves another one into his maw with a challenging look in his eyes.

  Mom claps her hands. “Well, now that that’s all done, shall we eat?”

  Thankful for the distraction, I grab the chicken from the oven and direct Arielle to get the mashed potatoes. River’s already guarding the plate of biscuits, so Natalie picks up the bottle of wine.

  I have one solid minute of everything seeming perfect and fine, with most of the people I love around the table for a nice family dinner. And then Mom pipes up.

  “Oh, honey, you should call your dad and let him know you’re dating Noah. I’m sure he’ll be excited. Remember the time zone diffe
rence to Malaysia, though. And you know it takes him a long time to arrange his schedule to be home for any important dates . . . like weddings or babies.”

  “Mom! We’re dating! Not engaged!” I yell, horrified. We literally just got to the point of making this public to our families, and Mom is practically shoving Noah and me down the aisle and into Lamaze classes.

  Mom shrugs casually. “That’s fine, honey. I’m just reminding you . . . in case.” Mom and Natalie meet eyes and share a secret smile that is not at all secret.

  Well, we planned for River’s reaction, though that didn’t go to my plan. It seems we should’ve prepared better for our mothers’ reactions too.

  Chapter 17

  Noah

  When we finally get everyone out of Riley’s apartment after dinner, we collapse on the couch.

  “That went well,” I say, running my fingers through Riley’s blonde waves to twist one around my finger. It feels like spun silk, golden and soft.

  Riley looks up from my chest to stare at me in shock. “’That went well’? Seriously?”

  I kiss her nose. “That’s what I said, and I stand by it. River could’ve really freaked out, your mom could’ve said I wasn’t good enough, Arielle might’ve gotten stuck at work, or my mom might’ve asked why I invited her to dinner at someone else’s home. And Raffy could have gone Cujo on one of them instead of being the cuddle bug he always is. So, that went well,” I declare again. “And that cheesecake brought back some good memories.”

  Riley quiets, shifting to lay her head back on my chest again. “Did you really worry about all that?”

  “Hmm,” I hum, “not worry. More like consider.”

  “What else are you ‘considering’ right now?”

  “I’m considering doing the dishes or leaving them for later. I’m considering taking you to the bedroom or staying right here on the couch to fuck you. I’m considering drawing a bath in that tiny tub of yours and seeing if we can both fit in there at the same time.” I pause, searching my mind. “Yeah, that’s about it. You?”