All I'll Ever Need

by J. P. Bowie

  Hank hadn’t been a god, just a man—a gorgeous man, a sweet and gentle man until the drugs had changed him. But not just the drugs. The major change had come after he was told to dump Alex, never see him again, get married, or there would be no guarantee his career would survive. The studio heads had cited several gay scandals that had jeopardized the careers of some of Hollywood’s biggest names until they had threatened to sue—or got married. They had already created the myth that Hank and Lena Miles were an item and that ‘wedding bells’ were definitely in the couple’s futures. All Hank and Alex had to do was promise they would not continue their relationship, not even discreetly.

  “The paparazzi are everywhere,” one of the studio bosses had told Hank. “They’re already suspicious. You’ve just been lucky you and your fella haven’t been caught with your pants down. Marrying Lena is the best thing you can do…” Hank’s protests had fallen on deaf ears, and Alex had told him he wouldn’t forgive himself if Hank’s career was soured because of their relationship.

  Alex’s chest tightened when he remembered their last night together—the tears, the declarations of love, Hank’s sudden decision to tell them all to go to hell. He’d take his chances if he was outed.

  As much as it had killed him to do it, Alex had dissuaded him from that decision. He knew what the outcome would have been. He’d seen it happen to other stars. Some had found success appearing on the stage or in indie movies—but the truth was, Hank wasn’t the greatest actor in Hollywood. His star appeal depended on his amazing looks and his manliness. Alex had loved Hank with all his heart and soul, but he couldn’t see him on the Broadway stage reciting lines with conviction. No, Hank belonged on the big screen, where the camera loved him. He was at his best trading punches with criminals, leaping off moving trains or tracking down terrorists. His reputation as the ‘sexiest man alive’ as he wooed and seduced Hollywood’s most beautiful female stars had to endure.

  If only it had…

  Chapter Five

  Saturday morning

  Edward opened his eyes and glanced at the digital clock by his bed. “Only seven,” he mumbled, “and it’s Saturday, no work today.” He closed his eyes again, willing himself back to sleep, then he remembered. Alex gets back today from New York. The thought made his heart quicken and his cock jump. Oh, yeah… He could hardly wait to feel those strong arms around him, that muscular body pressed to his. He was really hard now. He gripped his erection and slid it through his hand. Wait, should he save this for later when he was with Alex? He pondered this for a moment or two. Nah, I’m young. There’s plenty more where this comes from.

  He was about to give in to his carnal desire when he heard Kevin’s voice coming from the living room, loud and sounding pissed off. “Okay, asshole, keep your fuckin’ hair on. We’ll be there as soon as we can.” This was followed by a string of expletives then, “Hey, Ed! Troy needs picking up at the hospital. I’m outta gas so we’ll have to use your car.”

  Cursing, Edward pulled on a T-shirt and shorts then stumbled to the door. “They’re releasing him this early?”

  “Of course not.” Kevin’s bed head and the shadows under his eyes told Edward his roomie hadn’t had much sleep. “The asshole snuck out. He’s waiting for us on the steps outside the hospital.”

  Edward groaned. “Great. Where’s Brad? Couldn’t he take you?”

  “He left. Said he had first shift or something.”

  “Okay, let me get my shoes on and grab my car keys.”

  A few minutes later they were in Edward’s car heading for the hospital. Kevin smelled of sex. Edward imagined he still had dried cum, either his or Brad’s, on his skin. Not a thought he particularly wanted to entertain.

  “How’d he sound?” Edward asked.

  “Moronic, as usual,” Kevin replied shortly, staring out of the passenger window. “If he keeps this up I’m going to look for a new apartment. You up for a change of scenery? We could get a place together.”

  “I-I don’t know.” Edward was surprised by the suggestion.

  “Well, you can hang out with Troy if you like, but I tell you it’s only going to get worse.”

  “Not if he gets help.”

  “He doesn’t want help.” Kevin glared at him. “He snuck out of the hospital so he can go to some party tonight with a bunch of drugged-out losers.”

  “Jesus…” Edward remembered Alex telling him Troy had invited him to the party—and Troy still intended on going? “We have to stop him,” he said firmly.

  Kevin snorted with derision. “Good luck with that. He won’t listen to anything we have to say.”

  “What if we lock him in his room?”

  “Are you serious?” Kevin laughed out loud. “He’d bust the fucking door down. Honestly, I don’t know how we’re going to deal with him after this weekend.”

  Edward’s stomach felt suddenly queasy. He hoped like hell Alex would ask him to stay over so he wouldn’t have to face the aftermath of Troy’s drug bash.

  * * * *

  Troy looked like hell. His dark hair stuck out in all directions and his complexion lacked any color whatsoever. “What took you so long?” was his grouchy greeting when Edward pulled up outside the hospital. He flung himself inside the back of the car and lay down on the seat.

  “Dude, you’re in bad shape,” Kevin told him. “You sure leaving the hospital is a good idea?”

  “I’ll feel better later,” Troy muttered.

  Kevin glanced at Edward. “Sure you will.”

  “Maybe a long rest in bed would help.” Edward glanced at Troy’s sallow complexion in his rearview mirror.

  “I might take a nap. You don’t get a fuckin’ minute’s sleep in those places.” Troy groused. “There’s always somebody coming around, making noise, taking blood, adjusting this, that and the other thing. Jesus, how does anybody ever get better in a place like that hellhole? A nap sounds good,” he added through a gigantic yawn, “then I gotta get ready for the party tonight. I wouldn’t miss out on that for—for free tickets to a Lady Gaga concert!”

  Kevin chuckled but Edward shook his head sadly. “Troy, honestly, you shouldn’t be going to a party in the shape you’re in.”

  Troy sat up and glared at Edward through the mirror. “What are you, my mother? I don’t need you gettin’ in my fuckin’ business.”

  “Told ya,” Kevin muttered.

  “Excuse me for being concerned,” Edward said quietly. “I’ll make sure it won’t happen again.”

  “Right, but I need one of you to drive me over there tonight.”

  Edward couldn’t believe his ears. The nerve of some guys.

  “Well, it won’t be me,” Kevin said immediately. “Ed’s right, you shouldn’t even be thinking of going to that stupid party. Besides, I have other plans.”

  The drive back to the apartment in the heavy silence that ensued seemed to Edward to be endless. All he could hope for at that moment was that he’d soon hear from Alex and he could put all this mess behind him for a few, or, better still, several hours—the whole weekend if he got lucky.

  After Edward parked the car, Troy flung himself off the back seat, not bothering to say even a muttered ‘thanks’, just headed up the steps to the front entrance of the building without waiting for either of them. Kevin glanced at Edward and shrugged dismissively.

  “I need some coffee,” he said, sighing. “Wanna join me at Starbucks?”

  Edward nodded and after locking the car he fell in step with Kevin and they walked to the corner coffee shop. “Is it worth even trying to stop him from going to the party tonight?” he asked.

  “Nope. This will make the third time he’s done this recently.”

  “But I don’t recall him doing this before.”

  “It’s been a month or two since the last one. I honestly didn’t think he’d do it again. He was so wasted, a couple of guys dragged him home from wherever they were and left him on the steps outside. He was lucky one of the neighbors coming back fro
m an early morning jog found him, and not the cops. He knocked on the door and told me Troy was outside then he helped me bring him in. Troy spent the whole morning puking his guts up. Probably what saved him, but he doesn’t learn. When he was able to get around, he told me what a fantastic time he’d had! Can you believe it?”

  “No, I can’t. He doesn’t ask you to go with him?”

  “Once, but I said no way. I don’t mind a little weed now and then, but these guys are into the hardcore stuff. Scares me to death.”

  “Maybe we should stage an intervention.”

  Kevin stared at him as if he’d grown an extra head. “You have a death wish or something?” He slowed his steps as they approached the coffee shop. “Listen to me, the best thing we can do is let him realize just what he’s doing to himself. He will eventually. It might mean he ends up in court, promising to enter rehab, and that’s probably the best thing that could happen.”

  “But what if it kills him before that happens?”

  “It won’t. Troy is too mean to die.”

  “Kevin, that’s pretty callous. I thought you guys were friends.”

  Kevin shrugged and pushed the coffee shop door open. “When you’ve been around him for as long as I have, you start to rethink the meaning of the word ‘friend’.”

  No one was waiting at the counter so they placed their orders right away, Kevin asking for the strongest coffee they had. “Haven’t really woken up yet,” he muttered, trying to find an empty table. “There’s one by the window.” He strode off while Edward placed his order for breakfast tea.

  Kevin looked up as Edward joined him at the table. “So, you and me… We haven’t really had much of a chance to talk apart from discussing Troy’s weaknesses.”

  “No, I guess we haven’t. Are you serious about finding another apartment?”

  “Probably. I’ll wait and see what happens tomorrow.”

  “What do you expect to happen?”

  “Well, either Troy will die of an overdose, or in a fiery car crash, or he’ll get arrested. Or he’ll have enough sense to stay the night where the party’s being held and none of those things will happen. This time.”

  “Does he have any other close friends apart from you?” Edward asked.

  Kevin shrugged then rose to pick up their orders when their names were called. Edward sank back against the hard rungs of the seat and wondered what his next move should be. Alex had been right about this not being the best place for him to live, but he’d considered himself lucky to find the apartment so quickly. He really didn’t think moving to another with Kevin was the greatest idea either.

  “So…” Kevin was back and placed Edward’s cup of tea in front of him. “Tell me about this hunky boyfriend of yours,” he said as he took his seat. “What’s he do?”

  “Uh, he works for a publicity agency.”

  “Oh yeah?” He took a giant gulp of his coffee. “Which one?”

  “I’m not sure.” He actually couldn’t remember the name of the agency. He’d been too caught up in other aspects of Alex when they’d talked briefly about their respective jobs.

  “You think he’s the one?”

  Edward choked out a laugh. “The one? We’ve only been on a couple of dates and he’s been gone practically all week.”

  “Yeah, but Troy said he could tell the guy was really into you. He also said he couldn’t understand it, but I can see it. You’re a cute guy, Edward.”

  “Uh, thanks. What about you, Kevin?” he asked, hoping he was being subtle enough in veering the conversation away from himself and Alex. “Are you dating anyone right now?”

  “Why, wanna apply for the job?” He followed this up with a raucous laugh that had some heads turning their way. “Just kidding. No. Brad, the medic, was just a one-nighter. As a matter of fact, I just ditched the last guy I was dating.”

  Edward took a sip of his hot tea before asking, “What went wrong?”

  “Oh, the usual. He was good-looking but too clingy. I can’t stand it when a guy gets hung up on the lovey-dovey stuff and wants more and more of me.”

  Edward was beginning to wonder just which one of his two roomies was the bigger jerk. “Yeah, that can be awkward all right,” he murmured.

  Kevin didn’t seem to notice the sarcasm in Edward’s tone. “And then there was his dick, which was just incredible…ly small.” More laughter.

  Edward gritted his teeth. “I think we should take these back to the apartment,” he said, picking up his container of tea. “I’m feeling a bit bushed.”

  “Yeah, me too. Let’s go.”

  Offering up a silent prayer of thanks, Edward followed him out of the door.

  * * * *

  When they got back to the apartment, Troy’s bedroom door was closed and they could hear the sound of snoring.

  “Good,” Kevin said. “And seeing as how he’s out of it, that’s also what I’m going to do. See ya.”

  Edward headed for his own room, deciding to take the longest shower of his life. Standing under the hot spray, he wondered when he’d hear from Alex. Perhaps he should call him, or would that appear too needy? Maybe Alex would like to know he was looking forward to seeing him again—after all they had almost made a date for when he got back to LA, hadn’t they? He took his time shampooing and conditioning his hair, then using a new body wash he’d picked up the day before. Its fresh pine scent was invigorating, and by the time he rinsed off and stepped out of the shower, he felt more able to face the day. It was just after nine. Too early to call Alex? He could leave a message on his voicemail if he didn’t answer.

  He picked up his cell and punched in Alex’s number. Alex answered after the first ring.

  “Hi, it’s Edward. I—”

  “Hi, Edward. Sorry, I’m at the office. I’ll have to call you back.” He sounded rushed, even a little distant.

  “Oh, okay. I’d thought you’d take the day off.”

  “I have some damage control to take care of. I’ll call you later, okay? Gotta go, bye.”

  “B—” The sound of disconnect startled him. He stared at his cell for a few seconds, more than a little perturbed by Alex’s gruffness. He must be really upset about something. Damage control. Guess that could mean just about anything.

  Alex put his cell phone aside and bit his lip. He hadn’t meant to sound quite so abrupt, but Edward had caught him in the middle of a meeting with Scott, his boss, and Lena’s agent, Jeff Harding. Both men were pissed as hell about the TV report on Lena’s meltdown of a few days ago.

  “I want to know who leaked that story,” Jeff said through gritted teeth while glaring at Alex. “And I want the son-of-a-bitch fired, got that? Lena doesn’t need this kind of publicity when she’s starting a new movie. She’s nervous enough as it is, you know how she gets. Some asshole reporters are gonna try to get to her and start asking her about it and I can’t be there all the time to shield her from them.” He jabbed a finger in Alex’s direction. “That’s gonna be your job until this dies down.”

  “Isn’t Sophia there with her?” Alex asked.

  “Sophia’s there, but she’s only a goddamn secretary. I want you there to fend off the paparazzi and all those other assholes who’ll be on her like a locust swarm.”

  Scott threw his hands up in protest. “Sophia’s more than Lena’s secretary. They’ve been friends for a long time, and Alex isn’t a goddamn bodyguard, Jeff. I need him here in the office. He just got back from New York, as you know, and you want him to spend time on location with Lena until the movie’s in the can? I don’t think so.”

  “It’s only a couple of weeks outta town,” Jeff said, “then they’ll be back in LA for the final scenes. You guys owe me this for the mess that went on here in this office.”

  “It’s okay, Scott.” Alex fingered his cell phone as he spoke, his mind still on how he must have sounded to Edward. He needed to call him back as soon as possible to apologize. “I can take care of Lena for a bit. Where’s the location?”

&
nbsp; “Vancouver,” Jeff told him. “And you need to take the next plane up there. I already texted her to let her know you’ll be there this afternoon.”

  Shit! He wouldn’t be able to see Edward before he left. I need to pack and get to the airport. Damn it, there won’t be enough time.

  “This afternoon?” Scott was venting like Alex would love to, but he had to remain cool. Jeff could be the bitch from hell when he wanted to be and if Alex didn’t take care of his number one client, Scott’s prestige would suffer. The way Scott suddenly shut up told Alex the same thought had just occurred to him.

  “Guess I better hit the road,” he said, getting to his feet.

  “I’ll have the ticket waiting for you at the Air Canada desk. The plane leaves at one. Don’t miss it. ” Jeff looked smug. He liked to get his way.

  “First class I hope.” Alex was kidding but Jeff’s snort of derision made his hackles rise anyway. Cheap bastard.

  “She’s at the Concordia Hotel,” Jeff said. I’ll call in a reservation for you, on the same floor if I can arrange it.”

  “Okay, boss.” Alex looked at Scott’s unhappy expression. “See you in a couple of weeks. You can email me any stuff you need me to take care of.”

  On the way out of the building, he punched in Edward’s number. “Hey,” he said when Edward answered. “Sorry about earlier. I was in a meeting.”

  “That’s okay, I was just surprised you were back at work so soon. Are we still on for this evening?”

  “’Fraid not. I have to go to Vancouver this afternoon.”

  “Oh…”

  Edward’s disappointment was clear enough in that one word. “Yeah, I’m upset too. This came out of the blue, but I have to go take care of an important client. I’ll be gone about two weeks.”