Rotten Peaches

by Lisa de Nikolits

  “They’re getting a divorce,” she shrieked and Kenzie came running in, her eyes wide and her mouth open.

  “We are NOT getting a divorce,” Dave shouted. “Calm down, everybody. Mom’s a bit sad, that’s all. We all get sad sometimes, don’t we? Yes, we do. Come here, Kenzie, and Maddie, come on, big hug. Everything is fine, isn’t it Lee?”

  “Yes, fine. Sorry girls. My hormones must be out of whack or something.”

  “What are hormones?” Maddie asked and Dave handed her a piece of kitchen towel to blow her nose.

  “Things that make moms moms,” Dave said. “Hormones are chemicals that only moms have and sometimes the mix gets itself wrong and then a mom gets sad.”

  “Does it get right again?”

  “It does,” I said and I pulled my girls close to me. “I’m sorry, girls. I’ll get my mix right, you’ll see. I got sad because I am proud of you and you make me happy.”

  “That doesn’t make any sense,” Kenzie was dismissive. “Dad, can we have some hot chocolate? We should, to help Maddie and Mom not be sad.”

  “Good thinking Kenz, good thinking.” Dave reached for the hot chocolate and turned on the kettle. “Marshmallows?”

  “Of course,” Maddie chimed in, looking shocked. “You can’t have hot chocolate without marshmallows!”

  I stand at my stall and think about the previous evening’s antics and depression, a hundred-pound anchor, fills my chest cavity and drags me down. My mood doesn’t improve when I hear JayRay’s booming voice.

  “Oh god, the king is on his throne,” Sandi comments loudly and I laugh.

  “I haven’t seen Iris. Have you?”

  “She’s off with morning sickness,” Sandi jokes and I stare at her, horrified.

  “Seriously?”

  “No, duh. Joke. She’s much too old to have kids. But apparently, she’s got the runs and she’s vomiting and shit. She wanted to come but the organizers said not a chance. She could infect us.”

  She’s not infectious, a voice says and I jump. Is that my conscience talking? She’s being poisoned. I feel sick. Now that it’s happening, I’m shocked and terrified. My last increased dose must have done the trick, along with the cumulative onslaught on her system of the previous creams.

  “She’ll be fine,” Sandi says, “don’t look so worried. At least we get a show without her fussing about the angle of our displays and how neat we need to keep our stuff.”

  She won’t be fine. She will dehydrate and die. I nod and pretend to focus on my display, but Iris is all I can think about.

  I get through the day. I return to my hotel room and I go through my options. Then I reach for my cell phone and text JayRay.

  Room 308. Am not hitting on you. Need to see you. Make sure no one sees you.

  I don’t have to wait long.

  Puddytat! I’ll be there in ten!

  I brace myself for his arrival and when I open the door, he launches into the room, grinning, full wattage. He reaches for me but I put out my hand and stop him. “Like I said, this isn’t me welcoming you back into my life.”

  He sits down on the corner of the bed. “What’s up then?”

  “Iris is sick?”

  “Yeah, she’s throwing up and shitting like a pig.” He shrugs.

  “It’s my fault.”

  “What?”

  “It’s my fault. I put too much mercury and potassium cyanide in her face cream. You guys got married and she flashed this huge rock at me and she was so fucking happy and she needed more face cream. I swear to god it was an accident, more cyanide fell into the mix than I planned and I should have taken the jar back but she already collected the bag. I didn’t know what to do.”

  “Yeah. Right.” JayRay crosses his arms and looks at me, his head to one side. “Cyanide. All this time and you didn’t know what to do?”

  “What could I do?”

  “You could have told me, or you could have told her you were worried you got the mix wrong. There are several thousand things you could have done, and you chose to do none of them.”

  “I’m sorry. But I’m telling you now.”

  “Will it kill her?”

  “If she’s dehydrated enough. They won’t be able to rehydrate her and, yes, she’ll die.”

  “If she dies, I get nothing,” JayRay says. “You know that, right?”

  “No, I didn’t know that. I wasn’t thinking straight. I was taking tranqs till I was in a coma because I was so fucking upset about you.”

  JayRay grins. “You were?”

  “I was. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

  “Can they trace the shit in her system?”

  “Yes. But they’d need a reason to look for those chemicals.”

  “I don’t want her to die.” JayRay’s angry. “She’s good to me. She loves me. She buys the shit I’m selling.”

  He falls silent. “For starters, give me a new jar of face cream.”

  “That’s what I thought too. I brought you one up for you.” I hand him the jar. “Here.”

  His fingers caress mine and I pull back and drop the jar.

  “Stop that, JayRay. You’re a fucking monster. You broke my heart. I nearly lost my mind. I tried to kill your wife and now you want to fuck me?”

  He winks at me. “Life’s such a fascinating thing. You’d better play nice or I’ll tell everybody that you did a bad thing. Bad girl did a bad, bad thing.”

  “Will you? Actually, no, you won’t. I’ve got something on you too.”

  “Yeah? Really? What?” He looks interested and he sits down, grabbing the jar of cream and juggling it back and forth.

  “I know you run a scam with the video cameras. You record people screwing around and you blackmail them.”

  JayRay goes white. “What the fuck? Who told you that?”

  “Doesn’t matter. But I’ve got names. So don’t threaten me.”

  “Hmm. Little girl’s all grown up now. She’s playing at the big people’s table.” He gives me a twisted smile. “I miss your juicy pussy. Iris is kind of dried up. She’s got this big old wide dry empty cunt, like a doublewide trailer. Not my cup of tea. Now yours, well it’s tight and hot and juicy and I miss it.”

  He rubs his dick through his jeans and the shape of his erection is clearly outlined. My own groin grows hot and tight with need.

  “Whatever, JayRay,” I keep my voice steady. “You need to go home and take care of Iris. She’ll need fluids and hospitalization. No joke. Leave the show. Go home.”

  “Oh yeah, mama, I’m going home.” JayRay stands and he walks over to me. He leans down and his face is only inches away from mine. “You and me, we’re not done.” He brushes a fingertip down my cheek and I close my eyes.

  “See you later. I’m off to save the world. Iris’s world at least. And don’t worry, we’re copacetic, you and me, about who did what to who and where.”

  He closes the door and I’m left alone.

  I unzip my trousers and shove my fingers into my panties and I finger myself hard. I come again and again and I lick my fingers. Then I lie on the bed and start all over again. You and me, we’re not done.

  You’re right, daddyo. We’re not.

  29.

  I RETURN HOME. I have three whole days before the next conference. A lifetime in limbo. And yet, I dread the next conference. I can’t forget the feeling of JayRay’s finger on my cheek and, given that I’m full of bad news, I can’t return to Gerstein. I am without allies of any kind. And for the first time ever, my sales are down. I throw my journal in the trash. There is no point.

  On the first day, I lie to Dave about my appointment with Gerstein and I pretend to go. Afterwards, when he asks me about it, I make up something about it being harrowing as per usual. I’m not lying. My entire life is harrowing.

  Time passes with
snail pace speed. It’s summer and the girls are at day camp, Maddie for baseball and Kenzie for music. The house echoes with emptiness. Dave’s off until September and he’s decided to try his hand at fixing things up around the house. I offer to help, because I can’t think of anything else to do with myself. He looks at me with a quizzical expression, as if there’s something else I should be saying, but I just lean against the door and eye his paint cans. “Nice colour,” I say. He’s repainting the dining room a rich dark red.

  He fishes around in a bag from the hardware store and takes out two boxes of Mr. Magic Eraser and he hands them to me.

  “I’m hoping to not have to repaint the banisters,” he says, “so if you can give them a good scrubbing with these, you could save me the task.”

  I take them from him. He doesn’t meet my eyes and goes back to his painting. I wait for a few moments to see if he has anything else to add but he doesn’t.

  I start working on the banister railings. I never realized we had that many stairs. In a way, the work is soothing and I don’t have to think about anything except which spot to clean next.

  The girls come back from their camps, dropped off by the ever-helpful Denise, and we watch a movie and Dave makes waffles for supper, the girls’ favourite.

  The third day, the girls go off again and this time Dave has me sanding the kitchen table. He has hardly said a word to me. I dutifully scrub at the wood for a couple of hours and then I decide what the fuck, I’d rather pay someone to do this tedious shit. I’m going to leave early for my trip. I put down the tools and go and have a shower.

  I pack my suitcase and as I zip it shut, I look up. Dave’s watching me. He’s standing in the doorway with that sad and weary look on his face.

  “You never went to your therapy session,” he says quietly. He’s backed me into a corner. I’m going to deny it but instead, I get angry. I put my hands on my hips and jut my chin out aggressively.

  “Are you checking up on me?”

  “I saw Andrea Gerstein at the hardware store. She asked me how you were and I said she should know and she said you both agreed a few weeks ago that she wasn’t the right therapist for you.”

  “What the fuck? You never told me you guys knew each other. How did she end up being my therapist? How fucking convenient for you.”

  “Her daughter’s in Maddie’s class. We live in the same neighbourhood. You chose the most convenient therapist. You chose her, not me. And you chose her because she was close and it was the least amount of effort to go and see her. Because you didn’t really want to go. I didn’t mention that I knew her because I didn’t want to give you a reason not to go. But you managed that all by yourself. Of course we never discussed you, not until the day when she told me that you had stopped seeing her. She’s worried about you. She cares about you. All she asked me was how you were and we both realized you were lying to me. I’m sure she’s thinking that there’s no hope for me and my lying wife but of course she was too polite to say so.”

  “You’re excellent buddies with all the mommies, aren’t you, Mr. Nice Guy Dave?” I spit the words at him and Dave walks in and faces me across the bed.

  “I cannot take your shit any more, Lee. You aren’t even trying.”

  “I am so.”

  “Then try harder. Or don’t. I don’t care.”

  “What are you saying?”

  He shrugs and drops his gaze. “Just that we’ll resolve this when you get back. I can’t go on like this. I won’t.”

  He leaves and I want to throw something after him but I can’t find anything except the useless pillows and cushions and I dump them on the floor anyway. I haul my suitcase off the bed and leave. I forget to leave a note for the girls but I figure they wouldn’t care anyway. I drive to the airport and book a room at a nearby hotel when I can’t change my flight.

  I lie awake for hours, furious with Andrea fucking Gerstein. I want to text her and ask her how much she told Dave but I know that she wouldn’t have betrayed my confidences. She asked about me because she cared. Although, regardless of her intentions, she shouldn’t have asked. That in itself breached doctor patient confidentiality and she should be made to pay.

  I finally drink myself to sleep and I’m hungover when I drag myself to the airport. When we land in Houston, I go to the hotel and throw my things into the room. Six months have passed since the Bernice debacle and during that time JayRay dumped me and married Iris. During that time I tried and failed at therapy and at saving my marriage and my family. A year and a half since I started my affair with JayRay. So much dirty water under the bridge of time.

  I walk down to the conference centre to set up my display, needing the routine familiarity to settle my nerves. I’m concentrating on getting unpacked when I notice a movement out of the corner of my eye. No! It can’t be! And yet, yes, there he is. JayRay, setting up across from me.

  I glance at Sandi’s stall but Sandi isn’t there yet, for which I’m grateful.

  I march over to JayRay. “What the fuck are you playing at? Why are you setting up here?”

  He folds his arms and looks at me. “Iris had a stroke. By the time I got back, it was too late. She’s paralyzed, in a nursing home. She can’t talk. She won’t ever get better. I changed places with Vic so that I could be here, right in your line of vision. Why? Because I’m here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away.” He raises his voice as he sings the last line and few people turn and look our way, wondering what’s going on. “Just like the song says.”

  “You went away,” I remind him. “You left me. You left me to go crazy while you ran off and fucked some skinny old bitch that you married. You never called, you never texted, you left me alone and I nearly lost my mind.”

  “I was in character,” JayRay says, and his face twists with anger. “I had to be. I thought you knew that. I told you what I needed to do. And you said you would support me and then you fucked me over because you thought I betrayed you. You fucking told me how to get Iris to marry me, you practically told me how to fuck her, and then you hated me when I did, and you think I had let you down? You psycho fucking bitch!”

  We’re arguing loudly and furiously and I’m worried that Sandi will show up. “I have to go,” I say. “I cannot be seen with you.”

  I leave and take my place at my stand just time because Sandi shows up and she raises her eyebrows at JayRay. I meet her glance and shrug.

  Iris, paralyzed. It was their fault, not mine. They shouldn’t have been together, it was just wrong. JayRay belonged with me. I try to feel bad about poor paralyzed Iris but my heart is singing. Iris is gone! Well, sort of gone.

  And I love having JayRay across the aisle. I come to life again, my entire body feels energized and vibrant. I try to contain my joy but Sandi looks at me during a quiet moment and she also knows something’s up.

  “Your aura’s different,” she says. “You’re like a plant dosed with water and nourishment. But there’s darkness too. Are you okay?”

  “Just a bit headachy,” I lie. “Migraines can make me feel a bit manic before they hit and then they drop me like a stone.”

  “That’s probably it,” Sandi agrees but she sounds doubtful.

  When the day ends, I rush up to my room. I’m sure I’ll hear from him. I shower quickly and I wait.

  Midnight comes and goes and there’s no word from him. I sit next to my phone. Then I lie down next to my phone and I wait, but there’s still no word.

  At three in the morning, my phone buzzes. Room?

  276, I reply and I’m waiting at the door when he arrives.

  We fall on each other and devour skin, juice, hair, orgasm.

  We finally stop, wrung out and shaking.

  “Iris doesn’t have any money,” JayRay says. He’s lying on his back, hands laced behind his head.

  “What?”

  “She d
oesn’t have any money.” He’s speaking in a monotone. “Her husband left her the house but she works because she really needs the money not because she enjoys it. I guess she didn’t tell me because she thought I was only in it for the money but she wanted me anyway. And now she’s in a government-sponsored nursing home. The house goes to the husband’s relatives when she dies and I get nothing. She bought her diamond engagement ring on credit. In fact, she’s in debt up to her paralyzed fucking eyeballs and here’s the clincher. I get to own it all. All her fucking debt. Not only do I end up with nothing, I end up owing. Having nothing would be way fucking better than what I’ve got now. Fuck. What a joke. What a cosmic joke. And how is your amazing life?’

  “Dave wants to end it. My therapist fired me and I lied to Dave and he found out. And, the girls seem happier when I’m not there. What a pair of fuckers we are.” I caress his chest and I’ve never been happier.

  He reaches for my hand. “I’m sorry Leo.”

  “Yeah, me too. It can’t get any worse. What are we going to do?”

  “I’ve got one thing left,” he says and I sit up. He lights a cigarette and I wave the smoke away.

  “Since when do you smoke? JayRay, this is a non-smoking room, I’ll get a fine.”

  “Fuck that. Remember my half-sister, the bitch author? I’ve got a thing going on with her. It’s going down tonight. Remember I told you about Plan B? Well, Plan B is finally happening.”

  “What is it?”

  “I can’t say,” he says cagily and I’m about to slap him but he grabs my hand.

  “I’ve got nothing left except this,” he says. “Okay? We’re in this together but for once, fucking trust me. Look what happened when you didn’t. Iris would be alive and she’d be responsible for her own fucking debts and Dave wouldn’t be ending it with you.”

  I don’t have much to say to that and I nod.

  “It’s going down tonight at this hotel, nine o’ clock. Will you come with me?”

  “Of course I will.” I kiss his hand. “We have to play it cool at the stalls,” I remind him. “No one can know we’re together.”