by Tracey Jukes
“It’s me, Ash.”
Nyla swings the door open and drags him inside. “Hey, thanks for coming and helping Esme when she needed it earlier today.”
“You’re welcome, although Reid is pissed at me.” He looks my way. “How are you doing, Esme?” They sit on either side of me on the couch. “He is going out of his mind not knowing where you are, and turning your phone off is making his neurotic mind ten times worse. He thinks you’ve left him.”
Tears are brimming, and I feel the first one fall down my face. Ash wipes it away gently with his thumb.
“Esme, I know something happened in that locker room, but we can’t help you if you don’t tell us.”
“God, this is such a mess, but it’s my mess, and I have to deal with it. I just know people are going to get hurt.” Ash embraces me in a hug, and it’s so tight I think he’s going to crush me. But I hug him back because I need this. When he finds out what Reid’s brother has done, who knows whose side he will take. I mean, they’re family, brothers, best friends. I am just a nobody, really.
“As much as Reid charges about, he cares about you, Esme. He will help you through this, whatever this is.”
“He won’t help me, Ash. He will hate me because I’ll be tearing his world apart.”
“How, Esme? Explain it to me.”
I take a deep breath and tell him everything. I can’t make this decision on my own, and Ash is his best friend. I need his help.
“Shit, Esme, are you sure? He rubs his hand through his hair. He gets up and starts pacing around.
“I’m pretty sure it’s him. The tattoo, what he said in the locker room, outside the coffee shop… there are too many coincidences.”
I can’t get the voices from that night out of my head now. The tears are back, and he comes back to me and embraces me.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay. Reid will fix this. We both will, I promise.” I just shake my head against his chest. “Declan and Reid are real close, but he has been hanging with the wrong crowd, and Reid doesn’t like it.”
“So, what would you do?” I want to hear what he thinks.
“If you tell him, yes, it will break him. But he will also stop him before he does any more damage.” He holds my hands. “Please, Esme, I’ll be there when you tell him if it helps, but he needs to know before you make any rash decisions.”
I push him away, angry at his words. “What rash decisions do you think I’d be making, Ash? Would that be, oh, let me guess, maybe doing the right thing and going to the police? He murdered my family! I lost everything that night, everything that meant the world to me. Do you know what it felt like to hear them screaming and then to see them lying there in their own blood when there was nothing I could do?”
I sob with the memories and the pain.
“I should have died with them.”
“Don’t you ever talk like that, Esme. Never, you hear me, girl?” Nyla wraps her arms around me, hugging me closely.
Ash gets up and walks to the door. “All I’m saying is give him the benefit of the doubt. Let him try to help you.” With that, he walks out of the apartment.
I stare at the door wondering if Ash will tell him or keep this to himself.
“He won’t divulge anything unless you say so. It’s your call. Whatever you decide to do, I will stand by you.”
“Is it okay to stay here tonight? I can’t go back, Nyla. I need time away from him to think.”
“Sure, no problem. Take as long as you need.”
It’s 2 a.m. and Nyla is fast asleep. I feel such a jumble of emotions. My head is saying do one thing, and my heart is saying the opposite. I’m so confused. I know Reid needs to know, but I also know he will want to deal with it himself. How could he even deal with something that huge? He and his thugs committed murder and took everything from me that night, and they need to pay. I get dressed and leave the apartment quietly.
It’s so quiet outside, no cars to be heard, no one walking the streets, just the glow from the streetlamps. Before I know it, I’m standing outside the police precinct.
“You okay, Miss?”
An officer is standing beside me, but I can’t seem to form any words. I’m just staring at the entrance. The officer waits patiently for my reply, but I look around me, trying to find the words that don’t seem to want to come. The hairs stand up on the back of my neck as I see him across the road in the shadows, leaning against the building, watching me. He smirks, and I gasp and grip the officer next to me.
“Miss, are you okay?” the officer asks me.
I manage to point across to where I saw him, but he’s gone. I feel my legs give out under me, but the officer has a hold of me and carries me into the station.
I’m in a private room. The officer, whose name I have learned is Jenkins, has sent someone to get me a drink. He hasn’t asked me anything yet, but he will want to know what happened.
“Listen, you came here because something is bothering you, and whatever it is scared you enough to collapse out there.”
I want to speak out. This is eating me up inside, and my emotions are completely screwed up. I have no idea what to do for the best, but just now, seeing that face and that smirk… How did he know where I was? My head is a mess of what-ifs, but what I do know is that he has worked out who I am, and now I’m in danger. Real danger.
Jenkins has called Nyla for me. I haven’t said anything yet other than to give her name and number. I’m lying on a bench in the room when she comes storming in like a whirlwind and wraps her arms around me.
“Why don’t you answer your phone, Es?”
“It’s dead.”
“Jesus. I woke up, and you were gone, and you wouldn’t answer your phone. And shit. I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.”
“Ny, why do I need to forgive you?”
I don’t get to finish that sentence as there is so much chaos going on outside. I get up and open the door to hear a voice I know only too well. Reid. I whip around to look at Ny, and she holds her hands up in her defense.
“Don’t you dare look at me like that. You’re my best friend, Es. To wake and find you gone after today’s antics, I had every right to be worried. I thought something had happened to you. I called Ash to help, and he called Reid, and… you can guess the rest.” By now, she has tears streaming down her face.
“It’s fine. He was bound to find out eventually. You can’t keep anything from him and I’m sorry for not telling you I was leaving.”
I explain everything. Why I left and what happened outside when I saw him, and Nyla is just as scared as I am now. We work out that he must have followed me to Nyla’s to be able to follow me here. So why didn’t he do anything while I was alone and vulnerable?
“You need help. You have to tell Reid and Ash.”
I know she is right, so she gets the guys. It’s now or never. I need their help, and only they can protect me.
Nyla walks back into the room followed by Officer Jenkins and Ash, but Reid stays at the door. He’s looking at me all over like he’s searching for something, but I have no idea what.
“Officer, do you mind?” He checks it’s okay with me then leaves begrudgingly.
“If you need me, I will be down the hall, Esme, okay?”
“Thank you.” I reply.
Reid starts pacing the room. His fists are clenched. Knowing his brother is responsible for my family’s death must be tearing him apart. Dec is all he has; Ash told me so.
“Why, princess? Why?” He starts towards me, then stops midway. It’s like he wants to come, but he isn’t sure anymore. “This is all so fucked up. You must have it wrong. Are you sure? I mean, really sure? You haven’t just gotten it wrong?”
“Get him out, Ash. Please.” The tears are falling more than ever now. I knew it would be hard for him to hear the truth, but he’s pretty adamant that I have it all wrong. I should have known. Let’s face it, how long have we known each other? Just over two weeks, and that’s not even properly. He’s known his b
rother all his life, through the bad and the good.
“Just leave her alone, Reid. I think you’ve made it clear what you believe. Leave with Ash now.” Nyla is standing in front of him with her arms crossed and looking fierce as Reid looks at me over her shoulder. He seems torn, but I can’t help him. I need to look after me.
“Have you made a report to the police yet?” Reid asks me.
“No, but I have to now.” I look down at my feet. I can’t bear to see his face anymore.
“Please let me help. He has no idea that you’re the girl from that night. Let me try to put this right. I promise you’re safe with me.”
I laugh out loud. I have no idea where it comes from, and everyone is just staring at me like I’ve gone mad. Rage swirls inside me like hot lava. The fear has really gotten to me once and for all, and I pour it all out.
“You really have no clue how I’m feeling, none of you! That night I was sleeping, my family was alive, and I woke to their screams and deafening gunshots. Then I found them dead in a pool of their own blood. I was also nearly raped by the guy with a tattoo on his wrist, and yes, that was your brother, Reid. So forgive me if being here upsets you, but none of this is about you or how you feel.” Everyone stares at me, stunned.
“Nyla, please go get Officer Jenkins.” She nods and squeezes my shoulder as she walks out.
I fall back onto the bench. I am so tired now, but I want to get this over with. Reid kneels in front of me and reaches for my hands, but I pull them away.
“Please, just go.”
“Princess… I can’t walk away from you like this.”
“I need their help and protection. Your brother is dangerous.”
Reid lifts my face to look at him, and Ash steps forward too.
“What do you mean, Esme?”
“When I was outside earlier, he was watching me. It was frightening how he looked at me.”
I didn’t realize Nyla and Officer Jenkins had walked back into the room.
Reid leaves without even looking at me. It’s like I don’t exist.
Officer Jenkins has also brought in a female officer to take down my statement. He also has the case files with him, back from my family’s murder, to clarify some finer details.
I make my statement to Jenkins and Evans. They tell me that counseling will be provided should I want it, and that a safe house is being provided for me as Declan is affiliated with a known gang.
“I don’t want a safe house. What I want is to go home, please. You can protect me from there, surely?”
I feel like my life is spiraling out of control, and I have no clue what to do anymore. They reluctantly agree and inform me of everything I need to know, but the one person I need by my side to protect me can’t do that because his loyalties lie elsewhere.
Nyla and I step outside the station to a crisp early morning. I need to get home and get ready for work. I thought they would stop that too, but having police protection means hopefully not everything has to change. I look around, wondering who is protecting me when Officer Evans appears at our side.
“You won’t even know they’re there,” Officer Evans tells me.
“So they will be, like, in the shadows?”
He smiles at me and nods, then walks back inside.
“Esme, you don’t have to go to work today. Ruby will understand, I’m sure.”
“No. I need normality. Something to keep me occupied.”
The day seems to pass by in a blur. Ruby has been great about everything and said anytime I need to step out, or if there is an issue, to let her know. Jase and Nyla tried to smother me at first, but I have to put my foot down with them both.
“Please stop, both of you. You’re too much. You’re suffocating me. I get that you’re worried about me, but what I need is normal, okay?”
Jase grabs my hand and has a huge grin on his face. “Ruby, I’m taking Esme and Nyla to lunch, okay?”
She laughs and waves him off.
We’re sitting in a quaint little café around the corner from work, and Jase orders pancakes with all the toppings. When it arrives—one huge plate, three spoons— it’s huge, but between the three of us, we dive in, and the mess we make is unbelievable. We laugh and talk about Jase and his latest hook-up, and it feels good. It feels normal.
It’s five p.m., and Ruby is closing up.
“Es, do you want to stay with me tonight?” I love her fiercely, but I decline. Knowing I have protection makes me feel a lot easier now.
“Sorry, Nyla. I just want to go home tonight.”
“Hey, it’s your call. Just remember, I’m here, always.” God, she is always thinking of me.
I call Officer Evans just to make sure I’m not alone before Nyla leaves me. She tells me to look across the street at the guy in the baseball cap, and there is Officer Jenkins. He turns so as not to give himself away.
“Hey. You can go now. I’m going to be fine.” Nyla goes to look around when I stop her. “Don’t give anything away. I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
My phone has been quiet all day. I haven’t had a text or a call from Reid. He must know by now that the police are looking for his brother, so I guess he has chosen his side. I thought we had something, but how can I compete with blood?
Before going back home, I remember to grab some coffee from the local 7 Eleven. I need that first thing in the morning. I arrive home shortly after, but can’t stop thinking about Officer Jenkins out there, protecting me. I didn’t see a vehicle as he followed me, so he must be on foot too. I make the dto offer him a drink as it will be a long night for him. As I open my door, he is already standing outside.
“Oh, hey. Would you like a drink?” What am I doing? The guy is undercover, and here I am asking him to come into my apartment. Nope, he won’t come in. He’ll think I’m crazy.
“Thanks, that would be great.” He just stares at me.
“Oh, sorry. Come on in.” I move aside to let him in, and in doing so, I see Reid standing in the door of the stairwell. His lips are pressed together and his eyes are bulging, but I don’t have time for him and his shit right now, so I go in and shut the door.
Chapter Twelve
I offer Jenkins some coffee, and he kindly accepts.
“Esme, I’ve read the report from your family’s murder. It must have been horrific. We will find Declan Taylor. He is key to all this, but we’re hitting a brick wall finding him.”
I get the impression Jenkins thinks I know more about Declan than I’m letting on, but I don’t know why.
“If you’re asking me where he is, then don’t. I have no idea where to find him, and why would I? I didn’t even know his name until a friend told me.”
“Is that friend Reid Taylor, by any chance?” His sarcasm toward Reid doesn’t go unnoticed.
“Actually, no. It wasn’t him who told me, but I get the impression from your tone there is something about Reid you don’t like.”
“Let’s just say there is history. How are you and Reid acquainted, may I ask?”
He continues to stare at me, but I get the feeling he isn’t asking me the questions in a professional manner. In fact, I’m starting to feel a little uncomfortable. As I look at him, I catch something in his eyes, a glimmer of heat. I try to distract him.
“Go take a seat, Officer Jenkins.”
“Please, call me Leo.”
Not personal at all. This doesn’t feel right, using first names. I grab the mugs from the cupboard.
“I’ll bring it over. You must be tired after all that walking around earlier.”
He smiles, and it seems to be the most genuine smile I have seen in a long time. I sit down on the opposite couch and listen to him talk about his day whilst we drink our coffees.
“It hasn’t been too bad, to be honest. I sat in the coffee shop on the corner by your work, and every now and then I would take a walk to check the perimeter. Plus, I wasn’t the only one watching you today. There were other officers.”
; While I’m relieved the police are holding up their end and protecting me until they find Declan and question him, these officers must have families too, and I’m taking them away from them.
“What are you thinking, Esme?”
I tuck my feet up underneath me on the couch. “You must have your own families to go home to, and here you all are, out watching me because of a verbal accusation I made. I just feel…”
“It’s all part of the job. We are here to protect our country and all who live in it.”
It’s then I really look at him and notice just how good-looking he is. I wouldn’t say he’d be what I’d go for, but back when my parents had a say, then he would be exactly the type I’d end up with. Good job, clean-shaven, and from what I can see, no tattoos. Just chatting with him in my apartment and listening to him say how important it is to keep me safe has me really looking at him. I realize I’m gazing at him, and he’s returning it with the same lustful look he had earlier when he was talking about Reid.
“Shit,” I hiss.
Leo’s eyes widen. “Is everything okay?”
I need to find my phone. I was angry with Reid over what happened at the station this morning, and we haven’t spoken all day, and then he sees me letting a guy into my apartment. I get that he’s picked his side, but I’m not like him. I have a conscience, and I need to get it off my chest.
“Esme, what’s wrong?”
“Erm, I just need to let a friend know that I’m okay.”
“Is that someone a gym owner?”
Now I’m more confused. Who is he talking about? “Care to enlighten me? Because I don’t know any gym owners.”
I go to grab my phone from the kitchen, and Leo follows.
“Sorry. I thought from what happened at the station earlier you were really close friends. I mean, the way he blew up in reception at the station, I would say it was more than friends.”
He’s talking about Reid. He owns a gym? My temper is rising now with all his cryptic shit. So much for being a nice guy. Maybe I got him wrong too.
“Yes, that someone is him, but it’s none of your business!” I snap.