by Tracey Jukes
He steps back. “Sorry, Esme. I’ve no right to make a judgment. I’m just concerned about you. Reid’s brother is out there on the loose and dangerous. He knows about you, and we can only guess that his gang does too. It’s more dangerous than you think.”
“You said that Reid owns the gym, but that can’t be true. He just works there as an instructor.”
I’m staring at Officer Jenkins, dumbfounded, thinking everything he just said is wrong, but he confirms it.
“Sorry, Esme. He owns Fortitude.”
I feel stupid for not knowing, but at the same time, why would he tell me?
“Yeah, well it doesn’t matter. It’s not like I should know. We’re only friends.”
Leo sits back on the couch, and I go sit back on the other one.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap, but all these questions about Reid are making me uneasy. Is there a reason you’re so inquisitive about him?”
“I’m sorry if I came across as abrupt, but I’ll be honest with you. It’s the least you deserve after what you’ve been through.” He gives me a smile, which I’m sure is supposed to be reassuring. “As I said, there’s a history between us, and it’s not all pretty. Be careful and don’t believe or trust everything that he tells you. Blood is thicker than water, as they say. “He doesn’t divulge any more to me, he just stands up. “Thanks for the coffee, Esme.” He smiles, walking to the door.
“There will be another officer on shift tonight. Again, you won’t know he’s there, and for what it’s worth, I am sorry if I crossed the line tonight.” He nods and slips out of the door, and I’m left even more confused than before.
I have no idea what to do with the information given to me. What did he mean ‘blood is thicker than water’? He definitely crossed the line for professionalism, and I am pretty sure what he said tonight was unorthodox.
I have had enough thinking for one day. I lock up, but as I’m closing the drapes, I notice a figure across the road in the darkness, covered by the buildings. As quickly as I see him, he is gone, leaving icy chills down my spine.
I have never been so afraid of being alone in my apartment, but I feel like a burden on my friends lately. I let the police know I’d seen a figure outside, and they immediately looked into it, but there is no trace of him. I just need to go to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day.
I wake the next morning to my phone ringing. It eventually stops, only to start again. I roll over to grab it and see it’s Jase calling me.
“Hey, Jase.”
“Esme, were you still sleeping, hun?”
“Erm, yeah, you woke me, but it’s okay. I need to get up and get ready for work.”
The line goes quiet, and for a second, I think he’s gone. Then there’s banging at my door.
“Who the hell is banging on my door?”
“It’s probably Nyla.” I get out of bed and walk through the apartment to the persistent banging.
“Why would Nyla be here, and how do you know that?”
“Just open the door and she will explain.” I open the door and Nyla practically falls through it.
“Thank God you’re okay.”
“Why would I not be okay, and why are you here so damn early pounding my door down?”
“Look at the time. It’s ten a.m. No one could get hold of you. We thought something had happened!”
In the background, I hear a voice, and I realize Jase is still on the line.
“Sorry, Jase. Can I call you back later?” He says it’s fine, as long as I’m okay.
I hang up and deal with my crazy best friend, who looks like she ran a marathon with the way she’s puffing.
“Well, I need a new alarm. The damn thing never went off.” I check my phone alarm and see it actually did go off. I must have slept straight through it.
“Really, Es. I thought you’d been killed, you idiot! Never do that to me again.”
“Sorry. Oh, crap. Ruby is going to kill me.”
“Look, don’t panic. Ruby is all good. Honestly, she’s surprised you’re still coming to work with everything that’s going on.”
“Erm, shit. Sorry about that. How the hell have I slept in, Nyla? I’m never late for work. What the hell is wrong with me?”
“You’ve been through hell in the last twenty-four hours. Your body is running on fumes. Just rest, okay?” She walks me back to my bedroom and makes sure I get back in bed, then leaves.
“Fine. See you later.”
I’m lying in bed, but I can’t sleep now, so I take a long, hot shower and contemplate the discussion last night with Leo about Reid and the gym. Then I start to think all kinds of stupid scenarios as to why he should and shouldn’t have told me.
“Arrrgghh!” I grumble to myself. I’m driving myself insane thinking this way.
I go to make some coffee and realize I still need to get some groceries.
I slip on some sweats and throw my hair up into a messy bun. Grabbing my purse and phone, I fling open the door, but I freeze.
Reid and Ash are standing literally outside my door. I haven’t heard a thing from Reid since Monday morning at the police station. He just up and left, not a word since. It hurts knowing he knew it was his brother that killed my family and nearly raped me, and even knowing all this, he still chose to walk away and leave me vulnerable. I can’t forgive that. I needed him, and he left.
“Esme, are you okay?” Ash asks.
I really can’t talk right now. Seeing him has my emotions fucked up. I want to scream at Reid for what his brother has taken from me, but I’m also on the brink of breaking the dam as I miss him. I miss his persistent and bossy ways and the way he made me feel safe all the time. But when I look at him, I see Declan, then I see blood and the faces of those no longer here, and it’s killing me.
“I’m good, thanks, but I need to go. Excuse me.”
I skirt around them both and press the button for the lift. I know he’s right behind me and all I want to do is lean back into him, but I can’t. So, I move my body toward the lift doors. His arms cage me in when he puts them on either side of the lift, but he isn’t touching me.
“Esme, we need to talk to you, please. It’s important,” he whispers.
“Talk to me about what?”
I still can’t look at him.
“I need to know what you said to the police about Declan. I need to know what I’m dealing with.”
The doors to the lift open. I step inside then turn around to face him.
“You really are a piece of shit. You want to know what was said? ask them yourself. And just so we’re clear, stay away from me, do you understand? I never want to see you again.”
The doors close. I slump against the back wall, and the dam breaks once again.
I ask Lance to call me a cab and decide to go to Jase’s apartment. I need to be away from here and him. I send both Jase and Nyla texts, letting them know where I’m heading, then I tell the officer I clocked outside too.
By the time I get there, Jase had already arrived to let me in.
“Hey, Esme. Are you okay? What happened?” I bury my head into his shoulder.
“Why did I have to fall for the wrong guy, Jase?” Pulling my head back gently, he gives me a sympathetic look.
“Esme, you haven’t fallen for the wrong guy at all. It’s just a messed up situation. Now, I want to hear what happened, but Ruby is expecting me back at work. Nyla and I will be back here real soon, and you can tell us everything. Until then, make yourself at home.”
“Before you come back, could you go to mine and grab me some things. I kind of left like this.” I hand him my keys.
“Yeah, sure. Send me a message with a list.” He kisses my forehead and is gone.
I binge watch some TV for a few hours when I hear the door open, and in bounces Nyla and Jase.
“Hey, we got everything you asked for,” Jase shouts.
“Thanks, guys. You are the best friends.” Nyla looks at Jase, and I know something has happened.
“Spill it.”
“Okay, when we were in your apartment, Ash knocked on the door. He was shocked to see us. Anyway, he said he was sorry about earlier, and Reid is just a complete mess. He also said he has no idea how to deal with any of this.”
“He left me, Nyla. He’s had no contact since he found out, and when I needed him, he bolted. And then, when he eventually surfaced, all he wanted was information, so he knows what he’s up against. He’s a piece of shit.” She pulls me into a hug, and then Jase hugs me too. “I needed him. He said he would protect me always. Since we met he’s been persistent and bossy, and when I actually need him, where is he? Gone! His brother killed my family. Nothing justifies that.”
It’s then that I realize I’m really crying. The floodgates have opened and I can’t stop them.
“I can’t stay there anymore. I don’t feel safe in that building or even in this city. What am I going to do?”
“It will all be okay Es, you have us. Nothing is going to happen to you, I promise.” If only she believed that. I sense the tension in her when we hug; she’s just as scared as I am.
We order Chinese takeout and Jase tells me I can use his spare room for as long as I need to. After a few hours of eating and watching Legally Blonde—one and two—I wake to find Nyla and Jase both passed out on the sofas. I pull the throws over them and head to bed, wondering what tomorrow will bring.
Chapter Thirteen
Another two and a half weeks pass by and life has to carry on as normal. Well, as normal as can be. I’m constantly looking over my shoulder as the police have no leads on Declan’s whereabouts, and I still haven’t heard from Reid since our encounter by the elevator. I miss him and his stubborn, crazy ways, and I wonder how he’s been, too. I’m still staying at Jase’s, but I need to go home. Nyla has offered to come stay with me. Jase needs his place back as I’m cock blocking him. Not that he actually used those words, but for a guy who enjoys male company, he sure has been celibate these past couple weeks. It’s time for me to go.
I’m at work when my phone pings for a message. It’s from Reid, but there is no text, just an attachment.
We finish work and I grab a cab home because of the bags I have. I put my earplugs in and open the attachment. It’s an audio. He sent me a song by Meat Loaf -I’d Do Anything for Love. The tears are silently streaming down my cheeks as we travel back towards my apartment. It’s pouring outside when I pull up, and I have no coat. I grab what I can from the trunk of the cab, but as I turn, I slip. I let out a squeal, but there are two huge arms to catch me, and I know right away who it is.
“Thank you.” I’m frozen to the spot just staring at him and thinking of that song he sent me. My God, I’ve missed him. He has about a week’s worth of stubble growing, and he looks like he hasn’t slept at all, but he still looks irresistible. I pick my bags back up and try heaving them into the foyer area, but they are way too heavy.
“Here, let me help you.” He doesn’t move, and I realize he’s waiting for a reply. We’re both getting soaked to the bone because I keep staring at him. I think it’s because I can’t believe he’s actually here.
“Esme.”
“Oh, yes. Just take them to Lance. He can help me take them up.”
I move inside, and press the button for the elevator, and as I step inside and turn around, he is stepping inside too, with the rest of my stuff.
“Don’t say anything, please. Just let me bring these up for you. It’s the least I can do.”
I close my mouth, which was hanging open, and look away. If I don’t, I know I will want to touch him, kiss him, hug him, because that’s the pull he has on me. He came into my life like a tornado and then disappeared just as quickly. My heart is fractured and only he can fix it, but how and when, I don’t know.
I walk into my apartment and he follows me in. He drops my bags by the couch while I go put the coffee maker on. I grab us both towels as we’re soaked from the rain, but he takes mine and starts to dry my hair. It feels so good having him caress my hair the way he is that I moan.
“Esme.” I open my eyes and he is just about to kiss me, but I back off.
“What the hell are you doing, Reid? Jesus, is this why you helped me, to get back in my pants?”
“What? No. Fuck, princess. You’ve got it all wrong.”
“Don’t call me that. I am not your princess. Not anymore.”
And that’s all it takes. The hurt and pain on his face is like someone has died. I know that look because it was the look I held when I lost my family. And with that, he turns on his heel and strides away, slamming my door behind him. No words, no fight, just gone.
Reid Taylor is not the man I thought he was. The rough-looking, strong, and over-protective alpha. No. He’s actually a coward who runs at the first sign of trouble, and I have to ask myself, do I really need a man so weak in my life?
I’m about to hop into the shower when my door flies open, and Reid barrels through. He picks me up and throws me over his shoulder and takes me up to his apartment. I’m kicking and screaming, but he won’t let up, and deep inside, I’m happy dancing because this is the Reid I know. The fighter, the man who doesn’t give up and doesn’t take no for an answer. But I am also downright pissed he yet again barged into my apartment un-invited and swooped me up like it was normal.
“What the fuck, Reid? Put me down right now, you piece of shit!”
“Piece of shit, huh? That’s a new one. Nope, sorry, not happening.”
He storms through his door and straight into his bedroom.
“You’re going to hear me out, and you’re not leaving until I’m finished. If you still want to leave when I’m done, then fine, but until then you’re staying, understood?”
He drops me down on his bed, walks out of the room, and then comes back with two steaming cups of coffee. I notice he has dimmed the lights and placed candles around the room. He must have done all this when he came back up earlier. He isn’t wearing the same wet clothes either.
“I’m still wet from the rain. You didn’t give me a chance to get changed, Smiler.”
This makes him smile and he grabs me one of his t-shirts. I make quick work in removing the wet clothing, and he doesn’t take his eyes off me the whole time. I see the lust building in his eyes and I think it’s taking all his self-control not to move. I sit back on the bed and he faces me and takes my hands in his.
“My brother is all the family I have left. Our parents died in a car crash when I was eighteen and Declan was eight years old. It was up to me to bring him up and I tried the best I could, but I was still a kid myself and I had no idea what I was doing.”
My heart breaks for him as he has lost just as much as me and then had to become a parent when he was still a kid himself. I had no idea he held all this responsibility.
I squeeze his hands, letting him know I’m with him and listening.
“Go on.”
“My life had always been about my friends, and I was never really at home. Parties and drinking from the age of fifteen was what we did. And sex,” he says the last part quietly, ashamed. “I was out at a warehouse party when the police found me and told me of the accident. Declan was also in the car, but he managed to survive with a few cuts and scrapes, the main being to his face. Dad died instantly, and Mom died on route to the hospital.”
“What happened to the other car?”
“It was a drunk driver. He died on impact too. It seems he had just split from his wife, and he couldn’t handle it, from what the police said. I tried to do right by Declan, but he wasn’t the easiest of kids. He had his own trauma and issues from the accident to deal with, and by the age of eleven, he was getting into trouble with the police, stealing, and then he ended up in juvie at the age of twelve for fighting and attacking people. I didn’t help either. My way of dealing with him was to lash out at those he hung out with, and in return, he rebelled even more.”
“How long was he in juvie?”
Reid looks defeate
d. “He spent nearly three years in there. Eventually, he started to settle down. He had a mentor who seemed to take an interest in him, although I never met him. He was never there when I visited, but he managed to help Declan get out on good behavior.”
I have no idea what to say to him. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for him at such a young age being left with such a responsibility, but blaming himself for the path his brother chose to take is not his fault.
“Declan seemed to be turning his life around when he got out. He finished school and got a job. He was out most days, and I thought all was good. There were no issues with the police, so I went about my own life and didn’t pay attention to what was going on in front of me until it was too late. Declan’s mentor inside had set him up with a job when he finished school, and let’s just say it wasn’t exactly legit work, but he was earning good money. But it was dirty money. I tried to stop it, but he wouldn’t have it. Each time I dragged his ass home from the cop station, or stopped him doing something stupid, we ended up having the worst fallouts. He would run away for hours, sometimes even overnight, and he didn’t care when I was out all night looking for him. Eventually, he begged me to back off and said he could handle what he was doing and that he actually enjoyed it. I was drained trying to keep up with him, so I let him go and do his thing.””
“But do you think there was nothing more that could have been done, honestly? I get you were drained, but look what he ended up doing, Reid.”
“Maybe, but he was turning eighteen, and he made sure I remembered that too. It meant I had no hold on him when that happened.”
He takes a sip of his coffee and continues telling his story.
“We agreed to keep out of each other’s business, and it was then he asked me to just be his brother and not his parent. I knew he was part of a gang called the Vipers, and they were well known in Brooklyn for some notorious crimes. I was always in the shadows, watching him when he least knew it. Some of what I saw I was ashamed about, but he never killed anyone, Esme… not until your family. I wasn’t there to stop him and that kills me.”