by Tracey Jukes
He really is beating himself up over his brother and I have to ask if anyone has ever considered what he was going through at such a young age also.
“Where were you that night? You said you were normally in the shadows, watching.”
“I was at the underground, fighting. I wasn’t supposed to be there, but I heard that Declan and his friends were going, and that could only mean one thing. Trouble. I didn’t realize until the last fight that they weren’t coming, but it was too late. I had signed up to fight so it didn’t look like I was there by coincidence. It was a decoy to keep me out of the way. He must have known I’d been watching him.”
His brows are frowning and he is clenching his fists, the last thing I need is the caveman to rear his ugly head, so I need to calm him the best way I know how.
“Reid, can you hold me, please?”
I know with him doing that, his focus is solely on me and nothing else.
“You sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Please. I need it as much as you do right now.”
I don’t have to ask again. He pulls me to him and wraps his arms around me, but he isn’t doing it tightly like he normally would. He’s gentle, and I sob quietly. I’m crying because of everything he’s told me, and because of the past two weeks and what we could have been and have lost and have still yet to deal with. I miss this caveman so much, but even though this may be why his brother is the way he is, I still can’t let him get away with what he has taken from me. I won’t settle until Declan Taylor is behind bars or dead.
Reid pulls back and gives me my coffee.
“I meant what I said earlier. I just want you to hear me out, then if you want to walk away, I won’t stand in your way.”
“Okay.”
“When Ash told me what happened, I was already going out of my mind thinking you had left and had second thoughts about us. That maybe I had pushed you too fast. My head was a mess. So when he told me about Declan and you, I was devastated. The fact that my brother could even be part of that, but also the fact that it was you he did it to fucked with my head, and I had no idea how to deal with it.”
“So, Ash told you everything after Nyla called when she thought I was missing that night?”
“Yeah he did, but he did it for your own safety. You need to know that. He cares about you, too.”
He is pacing the room again, but his anger is at bay for now, so I let him continue.
“Killing your parents is one thing, and I’m in total agreement that the police need to deal with him, but I need to find him first before they do, okay? This is something I need to do. Please.”
“I get that you want to help your brother and I’m grateful you understand my need to let the police deal with this.”
“Stop. Let me make this clear to you.” His rage is starting to boil. His brother will always come first, and I can’t compete with that. “I will not be helping my brother in any way. He has crossed a line, and it can’t be taken back. He needs to pay, and I need to be the one to deal with him. Do you understand me now, Esme?”
I get off the bed and stand behind him. I get it now, and it’s time for him to stop beating himself up over his brother. He’s been doing this for far too long, and it’s time someone stood with him and is there for him.
“Hey, you wanna stop beating on that wall for a minute?”
I rub my hands over his back and then down his arms as he lowers them from the wall. I grab his hand and he turns. What I see breaks me apart. He is crying so much his face is soaked. This man who everyone assumes should be a protector because of his size and the fact he’s a fighter is falling apart in front of me. We sit back on the bed and he goes to speak, but I stop him with my finger on his lips.
“I know. I get it now, and I’m sorry for not listening to you and giving you a chance to explain, but this thing with your brother is not your fault, okay?”
“He messed with something of mine, and that is a line that once crossed there is no going back from. He knows that, Esme. You were mine, and he will be dealt with brother to brother.”
I don’t like what I’m about to agree to, but I trust him, and I have to believe deep down that he will still protect me if we’re together or not.
“Okay. Do what you have to and I won’t stand in your way. Just promise me one thing, that’s all I ask.”
“What’s that?”
“If it gets out of control, let the police deal with it. That’s my one condition.”
“It won’t.”
“Reid, can you please just give me that one reassurance? If you can’t then I’m leaving, I mean it.”
I get up and walk toward the door, but he’s like lightning, and I’m being carried back to the bedroom before I can even blink.
“We aren’t finished talking yet, Esme. But, yes, I agree, you infuriating woman.”
Finally, I see a hint of a smile trying to break through, but it soon disappears because the next talk will be about us, so I let him lead.
“I’m new to all this relationship stuff, and I know I haven’t handled things right, but you came into my life so unexpectedly and I wasn’t ready.”
“You weren’t ready? Do you think I was ready for a guy that sped along like a rollercoaster and didn’t know where the stop switch was?”
“Ouch, Esme. Don’t hold back, will you”
“Sorry, but it’s true.” He picks up my hand and gently caresses it.
“Don’t ever be sorry for being you, Esme. Look, what I’m trying to say is I’ve never done this before. You… you’re different. I can’t keep away, and I don’t want to. I’m not perfect. I have my faults, but don’t we all? But what I can promise and will always promise is that I will be here should you need me. I will care for you always, and I’ll protect you with everything I have, if you let me. You’ve awakened something in me, Esme Lewis, and I’m not willing to let you go without a fight.”
And there he is, my bossy overbearing alpha, telling me what’s what before I’ve even agreed to anything.
“Neither of us is perfect, but relationships are about compromise and talking, so if we can do that then maybe we stand a chance at this. But you also said you’d be there last time and you disappeared on me when shit happened. How do I know it won’t happen again?”
“Because things have changed now. You are my family, not Declan!”
That statement sends shivers through me.
His tears are drying up. I look at his face, and although he tries cracking a smile, his tired eyes tell me deep down he’s sad over his brother and what he’s lost.
I really have missed him, and it’s about time I showed him how much. I push him back on the bed and straddle him, and his hands immediately go to my waist.
“You sure about this, Esme?”
“Please stop calling me that, and yes.”
I don’t get to finish as he flips me over and is devouring my mouth. My God, have I missed this.
“Princess, I promise not to let you down again.”
We spend the night with each other as he doesn’t want me out of his sight while his brother is on the loose and nowhere to be found, and I’m not arguing. Tonight has been hell for us both, and I just want to wrap my arms around him and sleep.
Chapter Fourteen
I wake to voices and wonder who Reid is talking to. I’m guessing it’s Ash. I grab a pair of his sweats, not that they fit me properly as I have to roll them over and over to get them to stay up, but they will work for now. I make my way out to where I hear them in the kitchen and catch his brother’s name, but they both stop speaking as soon as they see me.
“Please don’t stop on my account.”
I grab a cup, but Reid puts a fresh cup of coffee right in front of me and wraps his arms around me.
“Morning, princess. You sleep okay?”
“Yes. I had the best sleep, and it was needed, too. Thank you for letting me stay the night.”
“Never thank me for that. You’re welco
me here anytime you want. If it was up—” He gets interrupted by Ash talking to me, so I have no idea what he was about to say.
“Morning, Esme.”
“Hey, Ash. I will see you both later. I really need to sort my apartment out before it thinks I’ve disowned it.”
“Can we talk before you go? There are just a few things we need to discuss and go over with you,” Reid says.
He looks worried. So does Ash, and this time, I don’t argue. I sit at the breakfast bar with them opposite me, staring at me.
“Okay,” Ash starts. “Since the police station incident, we have put word out that we’re looking for Declan. We’ve tried all the places he would normally hang out, but it’s like he’s just completely vanished.” He looks at Reid to continue.
“Usually, when I go looking for him, he knows, and he surfaces somewhere, but this time, it’s different.”
“Do you think something has happened to him?”
Not that I wouldn’t welcome that, but I can’t voice that in front of Reid. He’s still his brother, after all.
“No. I think it’s the opposite.”
I have no idea what he means by that, and I look between him and Ash, trying to read them both. I sense whatever they think is going on is not good.
“Jesus, just spit it out. I can’t deal with any more cryptic shit and everyone keeping secrets from me!”
“Hey, calm down.”
“Esme, we heard from an ex-gang member that they’re not finished with you…”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are they planning on doing to me what they did to my family? Is that it?” I get up and start for the door.
Reid grabs me and whispers, “Hear us out, please, and then I will take you downstairs.”
“Just tell me one thing. Do I need to run?”
The tears flow freely once again. I have no idea what to do anymore. The police can’t find him, Reid and Ash can’t find him, and now I’m a target. I break down against him, and he steers me to the couch, but he places me on his lap and holds me tight. The next thing I know, Ash is right there too, holding my hand.
“Esme, because you now recognize them from the robbery, in their eyes, you need to be dealt with.”
“What does dealt with mean, Ash? They’re going to kill me, aren’t they?”
“Pretty much,” Reid says, stroking his hand up and down my back to somehow try to make this okay. “But listen to me, it’s never going to happen. Not on my watch, you understand me?”
“How can you guarantee that though? You can’t be with me every minute of every day. You have a life, work, your fights, the gym…”
“None of that is important right now. Keeping you safe comes first, princess. You also have the cops watching you too, so you’re safe. I promise.”
This is all becoming too much, too fast again. What am I supposed to do? I have a job and a life. I cannot expect people to babysit me, including the police, but what choice do I have? It’s that or play Russian roulette with my own life every time I walk out of the door. We talk more about Reid and Ash escorting me to work and back and making sure I have their numbers in my cell phone.
“Thanks, Ash, for everything. And I’m really sorry you’re being dragged into my mess.”
He comes to stand in front of me and pulls me into a hug. Reid growls at the side of me, but I just ignore him.
“Esme, please. Reid is the brother I never had, and we’ve been through some shit together over the years. He is family, and family sticks together in times of need. And just for the record, you mean more to him than he will ever tell you, so I will. You are his everything, which means you’re part of this family, like it or not. And we protect our family.”
I wrap myself around Ash because no one has said such sweet words to me since I lost my family, and I’m starting to think that maybe there is hope and I can belong again.
Ash leaves, and I go back to my apartment. Nyla is going to join me as Reid needs to head to the gym to take some classes. The music is blasting, so I don’t hear the door at first, and when I finally do, I assume Lance has let Nyla up as usual.
When I open the door, I see Declan standing there. I go to shut the door, but he puts his large foot in the way, so I make for my cell. I dart past the couch, and just as I make a beeline for it, he runs at me from the side, knocking me into a cabinet. It knocks the wind out of me, and I hit the floor with a grunt. Declan is well-built like his brother, but Reid is slightly taller and bigger, but not by much. I’m like a twig compared to him, and if I don’t have any broken ribs, it’s going to be a miracle.
“Looking for something, sweetness? You wanna call someone, maybe?”
“What do you want?”
I need to get to the window so Nyla, or the police if they’re out there, can see that something is wrong, but I can’t move. The pain in my ribs is unbearable.
“What I want is what I wanted that night you hid in your wardrobe.” He bends down to me and smirks. “Yes, I knew you were in there. I was just biding my time, waiting so I could fuck you while you screamed.”
He strokes his hand up my bare thigh, and I only have on shorts and a tank top, which makes me panic even more. Please, God. Don’t let this happen. Not now.
I try to move and push him off me, but he’s so strong that I don’t stand a chance. How the hell did he get up here? And where are the police?
“Get the fuck off me, you murdering bastard!” I knew the minute the words had slipped out of my mouth, I shouldn’t have said them, but it’s too late. The back of his hand collides with my face so fast that it steals my breath.
“Well, well, well. She’s feisty, I like it.”
“I know exactly who you are. Declan Taylor, wanted for the murder of my family and attempted rape.” I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut, but he has opened the pain and anger within me all over again.
“Well, I may as well do the crime if I’m being accused of it. What do you say?”
I need to move fast. I look around me and grab the only thing heavy enough to break through the window; a marble ball ornament. I throw it in the direction of the window, but as I look up, I see Declan’s fist, and then everything goes black.
I can hear the sound of beeping and I smell antiseptic, but my eyes won’t open. They seem so heavy. I remember Nyla being in my apartment and then being in an ambulance, but everything is really fuzzy. I try to talk, but nothing seems to be coming out.
Where am I, and what’s going on? I try again to talk, but it becomes too much. Closing my eyes is the easier option now.
“Es, it’s Nyla.”
I start to rouse again, but this time my heavy eyelids move, and a bright light starts to peer through. I immediately lift my arm to shield my eyes.
“Can we have a doctor in here? She’s waking up.”
“Water. I need water.”
Nyla passes me some water and helps me sit up then closes the curtains to shield my eyes from the brightness as they hurt like hell. I finally manage to open my eyes a little more, and I notice I’m in the hospital. I lie back and think about what happened that made me end up here, and then it hits me. Declan!
“Es, you remember, don’t you?” I start hyperventilating, and Nyla is quick to sit on the bed and wrap herself around me. “Hey, shh. It’s okay. I’m here now. He can’t hurt you anymore. I promise you’re safe.”
“Have they caught him? Please tell me they have him. Please, Nyla.”
She gives me a grim look, and I know he got away again.
“What happened?” I ask. “I remember Declan being in my apartment and he attacked me!”
“Calm down. You’re okay, I promise.”
“Thank God you came when you did,” I say between sobs.
“I was just walking toward your building entrance when something came flying down onto the sidewalk. I looked up and noticed your window was smashed, so I ran inside and told Lance to call the police, and I headed up. Probably foolish of me, but
my best friend needed me. I heard shouting as I opened the door and I must have startled him, as you were out cold on the floor and he was…”
She stops talking, and I know what she’s about to say as he’d already told me before he knocked me out what he was going to do. Thank God Nyla came when she did.
“He told me he was going to rape me, the sick bastard.” I start crying again because there is nothing left to do.
“You took a pretty good blow to the head.”
“Yeah. My head and eye are pounding right now. Does Reid know?”
“Yeah, he knows. He and Ash went to speak with the police. They’ll be back in a minute. Es, you need to know that Declan thought I was his brother coming through the door. In fact, he wanted it to be him.”
“Why? I don’t understand.”
“When I walked in and startled him, his words were, ‘You’re not my brother. That’s a shame. I was so looking forward to letting him see me take what’s so precious from him.’ Sick bastard.”
“What the fuck did he say?” Reid growls from the doorway.
I stare straight into his eyes, but there is hurt and fury behind them, and it’s because I know exactly what Declan meant by those words, and so does Reid. His brother may have been eight years old when he was scarred for life, but he has never forgotten or forgiven, and for some reason, he holds Reid responsible.
The police inform us that a call was made, telling them Declan had been seen a few blocks away, so all officers were called away, leaving me with only one officer outside just as he planned. He must have watched Reid leave for the gym and knew I was alone, and then made his move. Lance had no idea the police were looking for him. That’s why he let him up, thinking he was going to his brother’s place.
There’s a knock at my room door, and in walk Officer Jenkins and Officer Evans. The tension in the room thickens, and Reid and Leo cannot take their eyes off one another. In fact, if looks could kill, I would say we were all pretty much doomed. What the hell is their history? I want to know, but I also want to know why they’re here.