Worth the Risk

by Shannon Davis

  By the time I made it off the stage and down the stairs, there was no sign of Rebecca. I bolted through the auditorium doors and down the first hall toward her locker, but she was nowhere to be found. Pressed for time, I whipped around and broke through the crowd to see if she was in the commons area. Still, no Rebecca. My last hope was the parking lot. I was certain I’d spot her balloons in the sea of automobiles, but I didn’t even see Katie’s car. My heart sank. Where the hell were they? Had they already left?

  In desperation, I threw my hands up, cupping my mouth and called out for Rebecca. My eyes darted left and right, searching for any sign of her or Katie. Nothing. I turned around and yelled her name again. The only response I got was a strange look from one of the teachers.

  My jaw hardened as my heart pounded. I was overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions. All I wanted was to find Rebecca, hold her, talk to her. I had to explain myself. I had to know what she was thinking. Did she love me? Did she hate me? I had to find out where our relationship stood. Did we have a chance at love, or was our friendship ruined forever? I had to know. But I was running out of time. The team was already boarding the bus for the track meet, and if I didn’t hurry up and get changed, I’d likely be left behind.

  I scrubbed my hands down my face, torn by what I needed to do and what I wanted to do. “Dammit!” I yelled. “Fucking dammit!”

  Chapter Twelve

  Rebecca

  Tuesday, May 8, 1990 ~ Cluck Cluck

  As soon as Mr. Walton dismissed everyone from the assembly, Katie snatched me by the arm and yanked me into the aisle faster than the speed of light. Thankfully, she took my flowers because I barely had time to grab the teddy bear and throw my backpack over my shoulder before she had us flying out of the auditorium and down the hall, toward the parking lot. The entire school was rushing to be a part of the track team’s send-off. But once their bus left, everyone would swarm to their cars and attempt to leave at the same time, causing a major traffic jam, which was what Katie wanted to avoid. I had the teddy bear in a choke-hold as we darted through the crowd, and my poor balloons were bouncing off people’s heads left and right.

  “Good Lord, people! Get out of the damn way!” Katie yelled, pushing through the horde like her hair was on fire. Her grip on my arm had tightened so much that my fingers were tingling. I was beginning to wonder about my poor roses too, expecting petals to fly past me any minute. My backpack felt like it weighed fifty pounds as I pulled it through the packed hallway, and my birthday teddy had a double-dose of whiplash.

  We finally reached her car—a candy-apple red Mitsubishi Eclipse with tinted windows, a killer stereo system, and power everything, including a sunroof. I opened the passenger door and tossed my backpack and the bear in the back. The balloons weren’t cooperating, so I wedged them down behind my seat. Luckily, I spotted a beach towel in the floorboard and spread it over the balloons. That should keep ‘em from floating around. Katie threw her purse in the back and handed me the roses. They were still in perfect condition. Shocker.

  I was completely discombobulated. I needed to talk, and I needed someone to listen. Other than Jackson, Katie was my only true friend. I loved her to death, but our personalities were complete opposites—she was the calm, I was the chaos. I think that’s why we were so close. She kept me grounded, and I brought her out of her shell. She was also a terrific listener and counselor, and I was ready to talk her ear off. My emotions were flooding, and the dam was about to break.

  “Oh my God!” I took a deep breath, adjusted the air vents toward my face, and let my head fall back against the seat. “I cannot believe this day!”

  Katie didn’t respond. Her attention was on the other cars leaving the parking lot and the swarm of students weaving between them.

  “Katie!” I whined, letting my head fall in her direction. “Jackson said he loved me!”

  “Yep,” she said, her voice almost flat. “And blew you a kiss.” Still focused traffic, she pulled out of the parking lot and made a left turn onto John Sims Parkway. Clearly, the magnitude of my crisis had zero impact on her.

  “It’s hot as hellfire,” I groaned, partially irritated from the heat, partially annoyed with my friend.

  Katie cut her eyes at me. “You grumpy?”

  “Well, let’s see. My life is falling apart, I’m a complete bundle of nerves, I’ve had waves of nausea all day long, and my stomach’s in knots.” I snorted. “Why would I be grumpy?”

  Katie slowed down as she approached a red light. “Maybe you need to shit.”

  “Umm, no!”

  “Pregnant?”

  I shot her a sour look. “Are you insane? You know better than that. I’m having emotional problems here, Katie. I’m in love with Jackson.”

  She paused a moment, waiting on the light to change. “And?”

  “And? I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and that’s all you can say?”

  Katie gave no response.

  “Wow. Thanks.” I huffed like a raging bull, folded my arms across my chest, and faced forward.

  “Seriously?” She sucked her teeth at me. “Real mature, Rebecca.”

  “Humph.” I pouted with fury.

  “You know, I should smack you.”

  We rode for several miles without talking. She drove while I flared my nostrils and continued to huff and puff. Finally, as she flipped the blinker and slowed down to make our final turn, she gave it to me.

  “All right, grumpy. Here’s my assessment,” she said calmly. “You and Jackson have been best friends since you were both what, eight years old?” She glanced at me for a response, but I was a statue. A grumpy statue. A grumpy, pouting statue. “Okay…” She took a deep breath and released it slowly. “So you’ve spent nearly every day together for the last ten years, and now that we’re about to graduate, you realize you’re at the end of this chapter in your life. When you turn the page, the next chapter’s gonna be a lot different. You’re thinking you may lose Jackson, so you’re finally facing your true feelings.” She flashed a tender smile my way and patted me on the leg. “Change is scary, sis. But sometimes fear is a good thing. It brings clarity, helps us see what’s really important. And it can even draw out enormous strength and courage. Jackson’s your person, Rebecca. Of course you love him. It’s good to see you finally start dealing with it.”

  Tears of frustration pricked my eyes. “But I don’t know what to do about it.”

  Katie pulled the car up to the stop sign and let out a long sigh. “You don’t know, or you’re chicken? There’s a difference.”

  My mouth fell open. “My life is in shambles, and you wanna throw fiery darts at me.” I pursed my lips and stared out the window. “I literally can’t be friends with you anymore.”

  “Oh, good Lord. It’s called honesty, sis. And stop sulking. It’s so unattractive, and it doesn’t solve a thing.”

  I sent Katie a sidelong glance. Perhaps she was right. “Okay.” I exhaled. “Cluck cluck.”

  She chuckled.

  “But what if I tell Jackson I’m in love with him and it spooks him? Then our whole relationship’s ruined. Friendship, gone. I don’t think I could handle that, Katie. Help me!”

  “I’m trying. You’re just not listening.”

  “I am listening! But I’m scared. I don’t wanna mess things up. I’d rather have him as a best friend than not have him at all.” I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the seat. “God!” I groaned. “I hate this!”

  “Maybe you two can talk after he gets back from the meet.”

  “Yeah. Maybe.” I opened my eyes and admired my beautiful bouquet. “He’s such a sweetheart. All this today… I mean, aside from embarrassing the hell outta me…” A smile tugged at my lips as I sniffed a rose. “The singing, the gifts, the planning… It was really thoughtful. Don’t you agree?”

  “Uh-huh. He did good, sis. Shocked the shit out of me.”

  “So you weren’t in on it?”

  “Are you kidding
me?” Katie threw me a look that was a combination of shock and horror.

  I giggled. “Then I really am impressed. God, Katie. I love him so much. He’s absolutely perfect.”

  “That’s pushing it,” she mumbled.

  “And so freaking hot! The way he was touching me today at lunch. It was the most erotic moment I’ve ever experienced in my life.”

  “Erotic?” Interest peaked in her voice. “Were y’all naked?”

  “No! Eww!”

  “Eww?” Katie laughed out loud. “I thought you said he was hot?”

  “He is. But I don’t wanna be naked with him at school, you weirdo!”

  “So, you wanna be naked with him elsewhere?”

  “Stop that.”

  “Well, you said erotic, and all the erotic fantasies I have involve me and the guy being naked. Or partially, at least. Under a waterfall, or in silk sheets, with candles, and handcuffs.”

  “You’ve taken our friendship to a whole different level.”

  “You’re such a prude.” She chuckled.

  “You seriously need a boyfriend. Or a therapist.”

  Katie laughed as she pulled up to my house and put the car in park. “All right,” she said calmly. “Here’s the deal.” She folded her arms across her chest and eyeballed me. “You won’t scare Jackson off, and you won’t ruin your friendship. Are you hearing me? If you guys nearly made out today, then there’s no doubt he wants you, sis. He loves you.”

  All I saw was sincerity in her eyes. She was right, and I knew it. Everything she said made complete sense. I had to stop being such a chicken and go for it. I cleared my throat. “I’m sorry for being such a baby.”

  She shrugged. “I’m used to it. But I do think you should consider getting a script for Xanax.”

  I reached out and grabbed her around the shoulders, pulling her close. I hugged her as tight as I could. “Thank you, Katie. You’re my dearest friend.”

  “You’re mine too, sis-turd.” She squeezed me before letting go. “Can we go inside now? I need something to eat before we study for this damn test. I’m about to perish.”

  Katie and I got out of the car and went inside. She propped my bear on a chair at the table, and I placed my roses on the counter by the sink and called out for Mom. Nobody answered. It appeared no one was home, but I didn’t see a note. I wondered where she was. Maybe with Dad, getting my new car.

  I grabbed a bag of Doritos and some Chips Ahoy from the pantry. Katie reached in the fridge and took out four sodas, then lifted the cake lid and picked up two banana nut muffins. I watched as she strategically placed the muffins on top of the sodas and replaced the lid.

  She noticed me staring. “We need caffeine to keep us awake and something healthy to go with all this sugar. Besides, your mom should open her own bakery. Her muffins are incredible.”

  I winked. “That’s what my dad says.”

  “You’re disgusting.” She rolled her eyes, and we both laughed as we headed back to my bedroom, dreading the next four to six hours.

  Mr. Hossack, our Anatomy teacher, had a reputation for being the hardest teacher at NHS, and he was by far the most intimidating. Mean as a snake, he was. God forbid he ever asked you a question that you couldn’t answer. He’d call you a dumbass quicker than lightning and then throw you in the back of the class with all the other idiots. He called that area his vegetable garden because if you were moved back there, you were as dumb as a potato. Mr. Hossack was also known for his killer tests. Most of the time, they were completely fill-in-the-blank. But occasionally, he threw in some multiple-choice that were hard as hell and always had, like, six options, all very similar. Sometimes he’d have a few true-or-false, but those questions were usually so ridiculous you lost brain cells just considering them. Nothing about his tests were easy. This was why Katie and I were determined to know the material inside out. If we did well enough to maintain an A, then we were exempt from his damn final. No one wanted to take Hossack’s final exam. That test was murder. And he was a serial killer.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jackson

  Tuesday, May 8, 1990 ~ The Final Race

  The afternoon was gorgeous, not a cloud in sight. Typical for the panhandle. The forecast called for a seventy percent chance of rain by eight p.m. Although the sun was blistering, there was a slight breeze blowing. Rain was on its way. For me, it was perfect weather for a track meet. It actually made running quite enjoyable. Well, it would’ve been enjoyable any other day. But not today. Not even the coolest of breezes would make the match a pleasant experience for me. Hell, neither would winning. My mind was on Rebecca and nothing else.

  “It’ll be all right,” I said to myself. “I just have to focus, watch my breathing, pace myself, and turn it on at the end.” That’s what Rebecca always told me before every meet.

  As I waited for the starter gun, all I thought about was how she believed in me. She’d always say, “You can do it, Jackson! Get out there and win this race!” She was my inspiration.

  This race wasn’t just against Eastmond, but a race against my own time. If I beat my personal record, that would make me the best in the state. That would get me noticed by scouts. That would just about guarantee me a sports scholarship to any university I chose. That would make Rebecca happy, make her proud. All I wanted was to make her happy. All I wanted was her. Without her, nothing really mattered to me. None of this. She was everything to me.

  I settled into position, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and pictured her sweet face. I thought about kissing her, touching her, and everything else I wanted to do to her. Rebecca, I thought, I love you more than the breath in my lungs, and I’m winning this race for you, baby. Then I’m going to finish what I started.

  Then the gun fired.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Rebecca

  Tuesday, May 8, 1990 ~ A Not-So-Happy Birthday

  After nearly five hours of studying, my dad popped his head in to announce dinner was ready. We hadn’t heard anyone in the house or even smelled any food cooking. Yet, somehow, my family was home and dinner was made. Katie and I welcomed the break. Our snacks and sodas were long gone, we both had a major tension headache, and we seriously needed to pee.

  “I can’t believe it’s so late.” I rolled off my bed and stretched my legs.

  “Right? We’ve been in the zone.” Katie gathered up her notes and slipped them inside her Anatomy book. “I feel pretty good about this test. We should do great.”

  “Yeah. I hope so.” I sighed, opening my bathroom door. “I wonder how the track meet went. The team should be on their way home by now.”

  Katie followed me into the bathroom. “I’m sure they beat the pants off Eastmond. Jackson had everyone pumped.”

  I grinned and quickly finished my business. He certainly did, I thought.

  The hallway was dark, and the house seemed too quiet for my family to be home. I stuck my hand out to feel for the light switch, but before I had a chance to flip it, the lights came on.

  “Happy birthday!” a dozen voices rang out in unison. To my surprise, my entire family and even a few neighbors were gathered in the living room.

  Momma had the dining room decorated to perfection in pink and purple. Streamers hung from the ceiling, and helium balloons tied with curly ribbon floated above every chair. A lavender tablecloth covered the dining table, and Jackson’s roses served as the centerpiece, with hot pink butterfly-shaped confetti sprinkled all around. Gifts were neatly arranged on the serving table, along with my birthday bear and balloons, and a large bowl of strawberry punch.

  I gave Katie the evil eye. “You were in on this, weren’t you?”

  She shook her head and held both hands in the air. “I’m Switzerland.” But the grin on her face told me that was a lie.

  I made my way into the living room to greet everyone, and my mom’s sister was the first to grab me. “Hi, Aunt Sharon, “ I said, admiring her fabulous outfit.

  “Hey there, cutie-patootie
!” She hugged me tight and kissed me on my cheek, leaving her shiny red lipstick on the side of my face.

  I absolutely adored Aunt Sharon. One, because she’s so lovable. Two, because she’s so stylish and fun and full of sass. And three, because of Cricket. “Hey there, girl,” I said, bending to scratch the pooch behind the ears. She wagged her tail and licked my wrist. That’s about as excited as she got anymore. She had to be at least fifteen. She had lost most of her teeth and could barely see or hear, but her nose still worked. She could smell people and food, especially chocolate and Uncle Max’s spaghetti, which was her favorite. I think her poor diet was why her teeth had fallen out. But I’d never say a word to Aunt Sharon. Cricket was her baby, and she loved her to pieces.

  “We have something for you, sugar.” Aunt Sharon cut her eyes at Uncle Max, then elbowed him.

  Uncle Max winced and began searching his pockets. “Oops! We must’ve left it at home.”

  “Don’t play like that, Max. Where’s her card?”

  He shrugged. “Beats me. Besides, you know she’d rather have a hug from her favorite uncle anyway.” He grinned and reached out to embrace me.

  “Quit fooling around and give that baby her card right now, Max Russo.”

  “My queen has spoken,” Uncle Max whispered as he squeezed me tight. Then he pulled an envelope from his sports coat and handed it to me. “Don’t let your daddy see this. He might ask you for a loan.”

  I laughed. “Thanks, Uncle Max.”

  “You’re welcome, sweetheart.” He grinned and then winked at Aunt Sharon.

  After hugging my other guests, I finally reached my grandparents.

  “There’s my girl!” Grandma Sharp handed me a gift and kissed me on the face. “You can open this later, dear.”

  “Okay.” I grinned.

  Pulling me closer, she whispered, “You don’t already have a watch, do you?”