The Bride's Christmas Pregnancy Wish

by Simone Rivers

  "Helping you won't ruin my night," Gabbie insisted. Her hands continued to work their way down my body far better than any professional masseuse ever could.

  God, could she sound any more sensual when she spoke? Her voice alone was enough to send shivers down my body. Combined with her firm yet gentle caressing, it was a miracle I hadn't already shot my load all over the counter. How much longer could I hold myself back?

  I turned and faced Gabbie, smiling at her, hoping she couldn't see the strain I was under. I needed to get away from her, but I didn't want her to think she was the problem. I was the problem, not her. I was the one having issues. She was just trying to be nice, be helpful. I didn't deserve a woman like her as my wife.

  "I appreciate it." I took her hands in mine, then brought them to my lips for a gentle kiss. "But I just need some time alone to decompress."

  As much as I wanted to just pull her into the shower with me, I couldn't do it. It wouldn't be fair for her. Nor would I ever be able to forgive myself for what I would do to her in the shower.

  Gabbie let out a sigh, her shoulders dropping. She looked up into my eyes, her mouth partially open, like she wanted to say something else. For a long moment, she stood there quietly. Finally, she nodded. Without another word, she turned and fled from the room.

  When the door closed behind her, I slumped against the counter. The granite was cool against my skin, sending goosebumps across my body.

  How much longer could we keep up the charade of a marriage? How much longer would I be able to avoid doing something untoward? Gabbie was a friend, someone I loved dearly. I couldn't bear the thought of hurting her. And yet, each time I looked at her, all I could think about were the things I wanted to do with her, all the sordid, forbidden things. Things I knew she would never consent to, not willingly anyway.

  If only she'd listened when I'd talked to her about getting a divorce. We'd stayed together long enough. She could could move on with her life, to find someone who could properly love her, someone she could love back. But she'd balked at the suggestion and somehow had talked me into renewing our vows to each other.

  God, how many nights had I laid awake, dreading that moment? Not that I didn't want to stay married to Gabbie. Quite the opposite. I wanted more than just this charade of a marriage. I wanted to take her to bed, wanted to love her physically and emotionally. But I couldn't. Gabbie hadn't had much of a choice in marrying me. She'd done it because she'd had to if she wanted what was rightfully hers.

  It wasn't fair for her if I made our relationship physical.

  That was a line I just couldn't cross.

  3

  Gabbie

  "Gabbie!" Holly shouted as she came running toward me. That was all the warning I had to brace myself as the not-so-little girl flung herself into my arms. She squealed and giggled as I scooped her up into the air and spun her around. It was our little tradition, ever since Holly was just a little toddler. She wasn't a toddler anymore, and it was getting harder and harder to perform our ritual.

  When I set her back on the ground, I grinned at her, looking her up and down. "Gosh, you're getting so big!"

  Holly beamed at me. She was growing up, but she was still a little girl at heart. She soaked up praise like a flower in the sun. She took my hand and immediately chattered about everything I'd missed since the last time I'd seen her. Which wasn't more than a week or two ago, but the way she spoke, you'd have thought I'd been out of her life for years?

  "Emma! Look who's here!" Holly announced as she leads me into the kitchen. Emma was bent over the oven, pulling a metal sheet out and setting it on the waiting hot pads.

  She smiled at me and winked as she closed the oven and slipped off her mitts. "About time you got here. I thought I would have to eat these cookies myself!" she proclaimed. "Now you and I can eat them all together!"

  Holly looked her in horror. "Noooo!" she cried out, going along with the little game. She was growing up, but she still enjoyed childish fun for sure. "You said you were making them for me!"

  Emma laughed as she came around to hug me. Then, she turned and stuck her tongue out at the little girl. "I seem to remember the agreement being we would make these cookies together. And then someone decided she would run off and play. I'd say that means all the cookies are mine to do with as I see fit."

  Again, Holly looked at her nanny with horror in her eyes. To her, someone else eating all the cookies was the most heinous act someone could perform. I have to fight back my urge to giggle at the girl's predicament.

  Emma looked over at me and winked. Then, her expression turned thoughtful. She pursed her lips together and stroked her chin, looking comical, and I had to again fight back the urge to laugh. Then, her eyes lit up like she'd just now thought of an idea. "What do you think, Gabbie? If Holly cleans up all the mess from baking these cookies, would that be enough to earn a couple for herself?"

  "I don't know..." I said, taking on a thoughtful look of my own. I glanced between the girls and the mess of dishes scattered on the countertops. "That's a lot of cleaning to do. I don't think Holly is ready for that just yet. We'll have to eat the cookies ourselves, I think."

  Holly glared at me. She put her hands on her hips, cocking them slightly. She looked so grown up and mature as she mimicked a look she'd seen from Emma many times. "I am not that little!" she insisted. "I'm ten years old now. I can clean up the kitchen by myself!"

  Emma and I exchanged glances. Both of us tried to contain our amusement at the situation. Finally, we both nodded. "Very well," Emma said. "When the kitchen is clean, and the dishwasher is loaded, then you can have a couple cookies."

  Holly let out a whoop of triumph, then ran over to clean. Emma and I watched her for a moment, grinning like fools, as the girl ran around cleaning. Then, we slipped off into the sitting room before we burst out into laughter.

  "I see you've picked up a few tricks from when I used to babysit you," I said, smirking at Emma. I'd pulled similar tricks like that on Emma more than once when she was a little girl herself. It had been quite a few years since then, Emma no longer a little girl.

  She shrugged and smiled as she plopped down onto one of the plush chairs. "Well, I had a good teacher. Even if I was a bit of a brat back then."

  "Aren't all little kids?" I laughed and shook my head. Emma had her moments of being bratty, but the good moments far outweighed the bratty ones. Thinking back to those times brought a smile to my face.

  Life had been so much simpler back then. I'd barely been out of girlhood myself when I'd been babysitting Emma. I'd still had a major crush on all four of the Frost brothers. I'd been so enamored with them, all of them. I'd dreamed of being a princess, them being princes, sweeping my off my feet and whisking me away to their castle.

  Back then, I'd never thought I'd end up married to one of them. And I'd never thought it would be a marriage like. this...

  "What's wrong?" Emma asked. She must have noticed the change in my expression. She leaned forward, fixing me with her gaze. I couldn't think of her as that little girl when she looked at me like that.

  I shrugged, trying to put those thoughts out of my mind. My chat with Aspen hadn't brought much success. It had made things worse. Nick was under a lot of stress at work and didn't seem much more relaxed at home. It was like he'd shut me off from himself, keeping me at a distance.

  "It's Nick, isn't it? Is he still not letting you into his bed?" Emma waggled her eyebrows at the insinuation. She smirked at me and shook her head. "I can't believe you guys have been married this long and you still haven't slept with him!"

  "You and me both." I let out a breath and slumped back against the chair. I mean, seriously. How can two people be married for years and never have sex together? It was just annoying. I was out of ideas, out of ways to make him understand I want to take our relationship to the next level. To the level it already should have been. "How are things with Jack?" I asked to change the subject.

  Emma looked down, and I grinned
at the younger woman. I'd recognized the signs of infatuation long ago, but Emma has so far denied them. But every time I mentioned her boss's name, she became all flustered. How she'd kept working for the man without him noticing her crush was beyond me.

  Then again, perceptiveness didn't seem to be a trait that ran in the Frost family. Jack must have been just as oblivious as Nick was, maybe even more so.

  "It's been.... difficult around here," Emma admitted. The way she spoke I knew she wasn't referring to her feelings for Jack. Emma took a deep breath, then let it out slowly as she shook her head. "Those two.... I have no idea how they'd stayed together as long as they did. It's a good thing Holly is resilient. That girl is holding up like a true little trooper."

  "I wouldn't let her hear you call her little!" I teased, letting out a short laugh.

  I wasn't sure what was going on between Jack and his wife, but I knew it wasn't good. Nick probably knew more than I did, but so far, he hadn't shared anything. Not that I could blame him. He probably didn't want to betray his brother's confidence. It wasn't like I shared everything Emma told me with him, and she wasn't even my sister, though she was the closest thing I had to one.

  Holly came out of the kitchen a short while later, carrying a plate of cookies and grinning like she'd just won the Olympics. "Everything is clean!" she proclaimed, setting her trove of cookies on the low table. "Now we can have cookies!"

  It was hard not to share in Holly's enthusiasm as we all dug into the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. I practically moaned when I bit into the first one, reveling in its taste. It was the same recipe Nick and Jack's mom had taught me when I was just a little girl. I'd taught Emma how to bake them when I'd babysat her. Now, apparently, either Mrs. Frost or Emma had seen fit to pass that recipe along to Holly.

  "These are delicious," I said as I reached for a second. Talking with Aspen and losing myself in a bottle of wine hadn't taken my mind off. Maybe having a girls' day and burying myself in sugar would do the trick.

  It was worth a shot, at least.

  "You know what this calls for?" Emma announced. The look she gave me told me we were on the same wavelength. We both had Frost men we needed to forget about for a bit. "Let's take this up to the theater and watch some movies!"

  Holly let out a cheer at the idea. She jumped up and grabbed the platter of cookies and practically bolted toward the stairs. Emma and I giggled, stopping by the kitchen to get drinks before following her up there.

  By the time we got there, the lights were dimmed and Holly had the remote in her hand, scrolling through what seemed like an endless list of movies. Finally she settled on a romantic Hallmark movie as we all settled in, the three of us curled up together on the plush couch right in front of the screen. It'd been so long since we had a chance to do this, just us girls, and I was not about to pass up this opportunity to forget how much life sucked!

  We didn't need to eat the entire platter of cookies or down the large glasses of milk, but we did. By the time the movie had ended, we'd all eaten a month's worth of cookies. When we finally stood up off the couch, I felt like I would need to roll out to my car. But for a short while, I'd been able to put Nick out of my mind and focus on something else.

  Part of me wished Holly hadn't chosen a sappy romance movie to watch, but I had to admit it was nice to see the couple have the happy ending they deserved after everything they'd gone through. It gave me hope I might eventually get my own happy ending, at some point. I just had no idea how to get there.

  "Why don't you get all this cleaned up?" Emma suggested to Holly.

  The girl looked like she wanted to argue, but she must have seen something in the look Emma gave her. Instead, she closed her mouth and nodded, scooping up all the dishes and running off with them downstairs.

  Emma turned and grinned. Her eyes bored into me, and I stepped back, not sure I wanted to know what she'd just thought of. Whenever Emma got that look in her eyes, it meant she'd concocted some scheme or another. I'd seen that look many times over the years, and it never ended well.

  "I just thought of the best way to get Nick to give you what you want," she said, still with that wolfish smirk on her face.

  I tried to swallow the lump in my throat and settle my rapidly pounding heart. "Why do I have a feeling I won't like this plan?"

  "You may not, but I know he will!"

  4

  Nick

  "Come on, Nick. How have you not slept with the poor woman after all these years?" Aspen asked, peering at me over the top of his beer. We're in a small booth at the back of the bar and thankfully no one else is around to overhear him. Otherwise, I might have had to throttle my poor little brother.

  Instead, I just glared at him. There was a time when glaring at Aspen would make him cower and run, but apparently, he'd outgrown that. Maybe it was because no one had whooped his ass in a few years. Right then, it was tempting to rectify that lapse. But I restrained myself, doubting the bartender would appreciate me knocking the crap out of my brother in the bar.

  "Fuck off," I said, glaring at him some more. I didn't need my little brother judging my relationship with my wife. It wasn't like he was some paragon of good relationships either, not after the way everything imploded in his own marriage. No, it was better for him to keep his mouth shut about all things relationships.

  Aspen laughed and took a sip of his beer. Despite my very obvious annoyance with him, he was still in a good mood. He was enjoying this conversation. I just wanted to pay my tab and head home. But we'd just gotten there and Christian hadn't even shown up yet, so I was stuck dealing with my brother grilling me about my sex life.

  "I mean, come on. She's hot, objectively speaking. Why would you marry her if you're not gonna bang her? I wouldn't bang her, but I also wouldn't marry her."

  God, could Aspen be any more crude? I ran a hand through my hair, trying to figure out how to put it into words my dumbass little brother was capable of understanding. Apparently he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, and I would have to put in very simple words to get it through his thick little skull.

  "Because," I started, speaking very slowly, "it's not fair to her. I only married her so she could inherit her due portion of her dad's company. It's not about sex. It's bad enough she had to marry me to get what was rightfully hers. I'm not going to force myself on her."

  The way Aspen looked at me it was clear he still didn't understand. I wasn't sure how I could make the concept any more clear to him. Throttling him sounds like a good option, and I have to keep reminding myself we're out in public.

  "Dude, she totally wants it," Aspen said, giving me an incredulous look.

  Before I could tell him how much of an idiot he was, a voice spoke up from behind me. "Who wants what?" Christian asked as he slid into the booth next to Aspen.

  I squirmed as both of my brothers pinned me with their gazes. When I'd agreed to meet up with them for drinks, I'd been hoping for a nice, relaxing afternoon of beers. I was not looking for an interrogation into my sex life with Gabbie.

  "Nothing," I said, glaring at Aspen, hoping this time he would get the message. But either my brother is an idiot or he's just an asshole. Either was a possibility.

  Aspen glanced over at Christian and grinned. "Dumbass doesn't think his wife wants to sleep with him."

  "Seriously?" Christian raised an eyebrow as he looked at me. When I didn't respond right away, he let out a sigh and shook his head. "She wants to sleep with you. Why else would she stay married to you?"

  I picked up my beer and downed the rest of it. If this was all we were going to talk about, I was going to need something a hell of a lot stronger than this. Maybe then I wouldn't have the urge to murder two out of three of my brothers.

  "Maybe," I said through gritted teeth, "because being married has worked out well for us. We're comfortable together. Maybe she doesn't want to go through the effort of finding another husband. It could be any of a hundred things. But it doesn't mean she wants to have sex
with me! Now, can we move on and talk about something else?"

  Aspen opened his mouth, no doubt to continue the conversation, but Christian elbowed him in the ribs. At least one brother had common sense in his thick skull. "Is everyone meeting up at the house for Christmas this year?"

  Letting out the breath I'd been holding, I nodded. "That's the plan. Mom is already going crazy with all the things she's going to make this year. I don't know how that woman still does it. She's going to spend the entire day running around that kitchen."

  "And she'll love every minute of it," Christian added with a smile. "You know here. She's the happiest when she's cooking for everyone. And as the family grows, she has to cook even more and is even happier. I swear, that woman will live forever as long as she has family to cook for."

  We all laughed at that, knowing it was probably true. Especially now that she had some grandkids on the way from Christian and his fiancé, Mom probably would live forever. Otherwise, who would be there to cook and bake for her precious grandbabies?

  Once the conversation moved away from my relationship with Gabbie, I relaxed . The beers helped too, though I had to fight back the urge to order something stronger and get truly shitfaced. Still, it helped me forget all the shit going on at work and even helped put the situation with Gabbie out of my mind for a bit.

  "What do you guys have planned tonight?" I asked as we waited to pay our tabs.

  They both glanced at each other and shrugged. "Jade's visiting her family for a couple days, so I'm on my own," Christian said.

  I grinned at them. "Good, then you should both come over to the house for dinner. If I know Gabbie, she's already cooking more food than the two of us are ever going to be able to meet."