“No, why would I? We have to go.” I gripped Madison’s hand and gave her a hard look when she opened her mouth to start blabbing again. I towed her across the street, heading toward the Lake’s End Café and cake.
I tried so hard, but I couldn’t stop myself from turning back.
Jesse was still in the spot we’d left him. And he was watching me.
I quickly turned away and hurried toward Lake’s End.
How was I going to survive this?
Jesse
I leaned against the bar and sipped my beer, then glanced at Dane beside me and scowled.
Dane gave me a lopsided grin. “What?”
“Stop looking at me like that, asshole.”
“Like what, dickface?”
“Like you think I’m gonna start weeping any minute or ride my damn bike off a cliff.”
Bull snorted.
“You can shut up as well.”
One of Bull’s heavy brows lifted.
I raised my hands in surrender. “Sorry, big guy. Don’t hit me.”
Bull grabbed another beer and put it in front of me. “Wouldn’t hit a man while he’s low.”
I scowled at him as well. “I’m not fucking low.”
Bull snorted again. “You look like the runty little kitten I found behind the dumpster a few months back.”
“Cute and furry?”
“Sad and pathetic.”
“Fuck you,” I bit off.
“Quinn named her Tootsie and now she sleeps on my fucking head every night.”
“Well, if that’s your answer here, you can fuck off. Not sure Quinn would be down with that. Though, I suppose your head is big enough for me and Tootsie.” I took another sip of my beer, not wanting them to see just how right he was. Sad and pathetic may as well be tattooed on my forehead.
Cal huffed out a laugh on the other side of me.
I flipped him off. “I thought you whipped assholes would be founts of knowledge, or at least offer up some sage advice.”
“On getting dumped? Why would we. We have our women,” Cal said, tactful as always.
Ouch.
“Gee thanks, Cal. Why didn’t you just shoot me in the head instead and be done with it?” I muttered.
Dane shoved Cal. “You’re full of it. Cassy dumped you, and Quinn dumped you,” he said to them both. “And yeah, my Everly almost kicked me to the curb before we finally sorted shit out.”
“So? What do I do?” I felt like a dick asking, but I was desperate.
“Honestly?” Dane said.
I nodded.
“Grovel. Grovel like your life depends on it.”
Bull nodded.
Cal motioned Bull for another beer. “What did you do, we need the facts to work out the type of groveling necessary.”
That was the kicker. “I don’t know.”
“Bullshit,” Dane said.
“I didn’t fucking do anything.”
Dane stared me down. “Run over it in your head. There’ll be something.”
I took a sip of beer. “I mean, I gave her a property patch. She…” I rubbed my hand down my face. “She said she didn’t want it. Said she didn’t want the kind of life I was offering.” Jesus, that still cut, right to the quick.
“Does she know what it means? Being property?” Dane asked.
“Yeah, some of the other old ladies talked to her, I did as well.”
“So you all but got down on one knee and she dumped you?”
I swallowed, mouth dry. “Yeah.”
Cal thumped me on the back. “Sorry, man.”
“Fuck that, tell me how to fix it. She still wants me, I know that much.” She’d been crying. That had to mean something, right?
Bull rested his elbows on the bar. “Brother, even if she wants to be with you, you’re asking her to live her life in a way she’s not used to. Your world isn’t for everyone, but you don’t need me to tell you that.”
Bull knew all about club life, he’d been in prison with Dice. They’d formed a tight bond. He knew what the club was involved in, knew the club, and he also knew Lila.
“I’ve been fooling myself from the start, haven’t I? Thinking that sweet girl would want any part of what I have to offer her.”
They didn’t answer, but their silence said it all.
The door opened and Stones, Manic, and Spanner walked in.
“What’s going on?” I asked when they reached the bar.
“Had some business in town.”
They shook hands with Bull, Cal, and Dane, then grabbed their beers and I followed them to a table.
“What’s this really about?”
“Your old man’s back. Came with a few of the Albert chapter boys.”
I stiffened. “What does he want?”
Stones looked troubled. “You know we had our suspicions. Well, he’s been seen with a Jackal back in Albert. Then he shows up in Black Stone, pulled me aside. He talked you up to me, like I don’t fucking know you better than that fucker. He said you dumped your woman, that he wants me to start sending you out again, doing jobs for us. That you had a change of heart and want back in. The idiot doesn’t know you were never out.”
“What the fuck?” I’d told Stones I needed some time, that I wanted to hang here for a while. I never gave up my position. I’d been the club’s enforcer for years. We already had a sergeant at arms in Black Stone, but Caesar was one of our older members, and his wife was sick, so I did the heavy lifting.
And yeah, Lila was one of the reasons I wanted to stay home for a while, but I’d been gone for months. I’d been building something with her and hadn’t been in a hurry to leave again. Stones had agreed because I’d never asked for one damn thing, followed orders, had put the club first for as long as I’d been in it.
Stones’s words echoed through my head again. “Hang on, how would he know I’m not with Lila anymore?”
Manic shrugged. “Considering I’m just finding out now, I doubt it came from any of us.”
Stones frowned. “I found out from him.”
“Was he at the fight?”
“Yeah,” Spanner said. “Saw him later on, after you left with your girl.”
“Did anyone see him with her that night? Because the next morning was when it all went to hell.”
“Nah, she was with me until I took her to you after your fight,” Spanner said.
I froze. “She didn’t come to me after my fight.”
Spanner frowned. “Walked her there myself.”
“Where?”
“Took her to the locker room…” His brows dropped.
“What?”
Spanner cursed.
“What?” I growled out.
“Doc called out to me, acting like whatever he had to tell me was urgent. I pointed out where you were to Lila, then went to see what the fuss was about. He just started shooting the shit.”
I sat back in my seat hard. Doc was a brother from Albert, from Trip and my old man’s chapter. They were tight.
“He got to her.” My heart started racing. I looked at Stones. “He’s got some fucked-up idea about me climbing the ranks, that I’ll take him with me. Trip failed, so now he’s focusing on me.” I curled my fingers around my bottle. “He thought I gave up enforcer for Lila, that I was done with it for good…so he made her go away.”
Manic cursed.
“He can’t be trusted,” I said to Stones. “This is the proof we needed. He’s meeting Jackals, planning a takeover, and he’s dumb enough to think I’ll help him.”
Stones leveled me with a hard look. “You think you can do what needs to be done?”
“I proved that when I dealt with Trip. I’ll do whatever it takes. That man is nothing to me but a fucking sperm donor.”
Stones nodded and stood when I did, pulling me in and thumping me on the back.
“We’ll deal with him tonight. When I go to Lila, I want her to know she’s safe.” My father dealt in threats and intimidation. He’d hunted
her down and terrified her. He’d done that to my sweet girl, and I’d make him bleed for it.
“I need to talk to Drums, see what he knows, make sure he’s on board. Then we’ll clean house.”
Drums was the president of the Albert chapter and a strand-up guy. There was no way he was in on this shit with my father.
I strode across the bar to Dane and took him aside.
“What’s up?”
“I need you to make sure Lila is covered tonight. Get Eves to have her around, fuck, get her drunk so she can’t leave, if you have to. Do whatever you need to. But she has to stay there with you, where I know she’s safe. I’ll come for her when I’m done.”
“What the hell’s going on?”
Dane wasn’t a Rambler, but he was my brother in all the ways that counted. “I know why Lila ran scared. My father said something to her. Shit, he threatened her, I know he did.”
Dane cursed. “You know, Lila looked shaken when she found us again after your fight. I thought it was because she wasn’t well, but she wasn’t sick, she was scared.”
I was going to kill that old fucker.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jesse
I sneered into my father’s face.
“You’re a worthless piece of shit. You hurt Mom, you fucked with Trip’s head until you turned him into a twisted mirror image of you, and now you’re betraying your own club because you think you’re owed something you never earned.”
Blood dripped from the corner of his mouth, his green eyes burning into mine. “You’re a bunch of fucking pussies. You’ve fucked this club and fucked over your brothers.”
“No, old man, you fucked them over when you went to the Jackals to take out my president.”
Tiny had found the Jackal in question, and after spending some one-on-one time together, he’d shared what my father wanted them to do. And the old man had admitted it himself in the end. The humiliation of his son beating his ass in front of the whole club had been too much for him to take. His anger had gotten the better of him, like it always had, and he’d spilled his guts in a fit of rage. He’d wanted to put Stones out of commission to “fast-track” me up the ranks.
“You don’t deserve to wear our colors and you never did.”
He spat blood on the floor, before his eyes came back to me. “You’re just like your mother. A pathetic bitch.”
I slammed my fist into his gut. “I’d kill you where you stand, but a useless old drunk isn’t worth expending the energy it would take. Instead, we’re going to take you and your friend back to the Jackals, and they can do what they want with you. If you ever come back to Black Stone or Rocktown…” I moved in closer, and our eyes locked. “If you ever go near Lila, I will kill you, and it won’t be a nice death. Understand?”
I’d do it now, but I couldn’t go to Lila after this with my father’s blood on my hands. She wouldn’t want that, and I couldn’t lie to her. His jaw clenched, as he searched my gaze, seeing the truth in my words. I would do it and I’d feel no remorse afterwards. For once he didn’t say anything.
Stones and several brothers moved in and grabbed him, dragging him outside. They tore his cut from him, tossing it in a steel drum, burning it in front of him. Then he was tied and gagged, and he and the Jackal we’d questioned were tossed into the back of the van, ready to be delivered to our enemy.
They might kill him. They might not.
I didn’t care.
And if he survived, we’d be watching him. He wouldn’t get a second chance to fuck with us or come anywhere near Lila.
I strode to my truck and climbed in. Stones gave me a chin lift and I gave him one back, then I headed for Spring Haven, to my girl. I was getting her back tonight, whatever it took.
Dane had messaged. Eves had gotten Lila to come over for a movie night, and he’d make sure she didn’t leave. Their house was between Rocktown and Spring Haven and the nearly hour’s drive seemed to take forever.
Then finally, I spotted the house up ahead. It was set back from the road, but lights blazed inside. Lila was in there now. I’d only seen her that one time on the street in nearly two weeks, and it’d been torture.
I pulled up outside and Dane opened the door as I strode up, eyes sharp. “Everything sorted?”
“The old man won’t cause any more trouble. He’s out in a big way.”
Dane gripped my shoulder. “Long time coming.”
He knew more than anyone how big this was. I’d shared more with him than with anyone. “She know I’m here?”
Dane shook his head, and turned back to the living room door. “Eves! I need your help with something.”
She walked out a few seconds later and her eyes locked on me and narrowed. Dane grabbed her hand and tugged her closer. “It’s okay.”
Her eyes spat fire. “No, I’m not letting him ambush her.”
“She’ll want him to,” Dane said. “Come on, I’ll explain.”
Eves looked like she was about to put up a fight, loyal to the end. I could appreciate that. But right then I didn’t care about her feelings. Dane could handle it.
Nothing was going to stop me from getting to Lila.
Dane towed Eves away as I strode down the hall and rounded the corner.
Lila’s head jerked up, her eyes widening. “What are you doing here?”
I took her in and my heart seized. “Why are you crying, Bambi?”
She motioned to the TV, to some chick flick playing, and blushed.
“Fuck, I love you.” It just came out, there was no stopping it. I didn’t want to.
Her entire body jolted, then she froze like a startled rabbit.
I moved then, pushing the coffee table out of the way and dropping down in front of her. I wrapped my arms around her hips and tugged her forward so I was tucked between her spread thighs. Back in my favorite place. Her scent filled my head, and I breathed in deep, needing more.
She stared down at me, lips parted. Another tear streaked down her cheek. “Jesse, you can’t… What are you doing?” Her lips quivered. “You can’t be here.”
I cupped her face. “I know, Lila.”
Her whole body started to tremble. “What do you know?”
“That my father threatened you, threatened me. It’s over. He’s gone. I’m safe. We’re all safe.”
“He’s gone? But how? He said…he said he was going to kill you, that if I told you…”
“It’s over, Bambi. That’s all you need to know.”
Her hand lifted, shaking, tentative, and she cupped the side of my face. “Did you…did you hurt him?”
“Yeah, I fucking hurt him. But I didn’t kill him, Lila. I wanted to. You have no idea how much. But taking his colors, taking the club from him, is the worst thing we could do.”
Her hands clutched at me. “The thought of anything happening to you…I had to do what he said.”
“I know. I know that now. You were trying to protect me.”
She nodded, her eyes swimming with more tears. “He hurt you, didn’t he? When you were a little boy. And he hurt your mom?”
I leaned in and pressed my face against her throat, wrapping my arms tight around her, needing her to ground me. “Yeah. Yeah, he did.” I looked up at her, taking in her beautiful face. “I didn’t want you to know that, I was ashamed of that darkness, the ugliness of my past. He told you, didn’t he, what I do for the club?”
Her lips trembled. “Yes.”
“I learned to cut off my emotions, to shut it down when I was young. I closed off to protect myself. I tried to do that again when you left me, but I couldn’t. I can’t change who I am, what I am…what I’ve done, but you…you made me feel again, Lila. I love you. Fuck, I love you so much. Losing you almost killed me. I’ll never hurt you. I’m not him, baby, I’m not like him.”
“I know you’re not.”
How could I convince this sweet girl to accept me, to have me in her life after the shit I’d put her through? I had to try. I couldn’t l
ose her again. “The club, they’re my family, but I…”
She brushed her thumb over my lips, stopping me. “I’ve lived most of my life pretending to be someone else. Thinking that who I was wasn’t good enough.”
“Lila…”
“I didn’t mean the things I said when I left you. I didn’t mean them, Jesse. I don’t want to change you,” she whispered as more tears rolled down her cheeks. “I love you exactly as you are.”
“You do?”
She nodded, crying and smiling at the same time.
“Then kiss me,” I rasped.
She leaned in and I thrust my fingers into her dark hair, holding her tight, the way we both liked, and I kissed her deep, pushing my tongue into the heat of her mouth. Her taste made me dizzy, hungry.
I kissed her until we were both breathless, then stood, pulling her up with me. “Let’s go.”
“Where are we going?”
“My apartment.”
She grabbed her coat as I led her from the living room and out the door. I opened the passenger side door of my truck for her and she climbed in.
It began to snow lightly as we hit the road, and I reached out, taking her hand as we drove the fifteen minutes to Rocktown.
Lila
I glanced at Jesse beside me, positive I was dreaming. But he sat beside me, tall and strong and so beautiful I couldn’t look away.
I had him back.
He glanced at me, and the look in his eyes stole my breath. Tension radiated from his big body, his chest rising and falling rapidly. Jesse wanted me. Badly. Had missed me like I’d missed him.
I made myself look away. If I didn’t, I’d climb into his lap while he drove and cause an accident.
We finally drove into Rocktown, and as soon as he pulled up outside his apartment, we were out of the truck. Jesse came around, took my hand, and led me to the tattoo shop, quickly unlocking the door and letting us in. Then he had my hand again and was leading me upstairs.
As soon as we walked into his apartment, Jesse kicked the door closed behind us and pulled me in close, kissing me like only he could. My hands roamed, sliding up under his shirt, needing to feel his warmth, his taut skin under my hands.
Bad For You (Rocktown Ink Book 4) Page 19