Craving Redemption: Forbidden Series #4

by Lorraine, Tracy

  “You don’t look like you’re enjoying yourself right now.” His brows draw together and I chastise myself for being so transparent. I’m normally good at wearing a mask and hiding everything I’m feeling, but I have an inkling this man sees straight through that.

  “No, I really am. I just can’t help feeling like I don’t fit.” I look around at all the couples surrounding us. Most are at least ten years older than me. Trey fits in with his designer shirt and dominant demeanour, but me? Not so much.

  “Everything I said earlier still stands. You’re the most beautiful woman in this room. You belong here just as much as everyone else. Are you done?” He nods down to my empty coffee cup and I smile.

  “Yeah.” I’m so ready to have him all to myself and get what I’ve been waiting for all day.

  “Fancy going for a walk?”

  “Oh…uh…sure?”

  With his hand on the small of my back, he guides me out of the hotel and into the brisk early winter evening.

  “Here, it’s cold.” Shrugging off his jacket, he drapes it over my shoulders and pulls me to him.

  Cuddled up against his side, I walk with him, enjoying the fresh air and his company, although it’s not quite what I’d hoped we’d be doing by now.

  We walk in a comfortable silence with the stars twinkling above us for the longest time. I almost miss the peacefulness of it when we eventually head back inside and up to our room.

  “I just need to go and freshen up.”

  “Sure, take all the time you need.”

  Grabbing a few things from my suitcase, I lock myself in the bathroom and try to put all my doubts about this and him to the back of my mind. I want a night full of everything he can give me. Just two bodies and as much pleasure as we can manage before we pass out. I want our first night, the intensity that came with not knowing each other and the excitement of knowing it was only for a few hours.

  Slipping out of my clothes, I pull my black lace nighty up my legs and rearrange my boobs so they look pert behind the fabric. I quickly reapply my red lipstick and fluff up my hair a little.

  Once I’m happy, I pull the door open and wait for his eyes to find me.

  I’m not disappointed. When they do, they widen and darken simultaneously.

  “Fucking hell, Erica.” My skin burns everywhere his eyes touch. All I can do is stand there and allow him to take his fill.

  He’s sitting on the edge of the bed in only his boxers, so I get to take in the view just as much as he does.

  “Come here,” he says, flipping the duvet over and patting the mattress. Disappointment floods me. Where is my dominant lover? Why’s he not demanding that I get on my knees and suck him until he’s dry?

  Still, I follow his orders and climb onto the bed as sexily as I can. The second I’m lying down, he’s beside me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me back into him.

  “Thank you for coming with me,” he whispers in my ear as my blood starts to boil.

  He just wants to fucking cuddle?

  I lie still for a few seconds, hoping that this is a joke. He’s acted like a perfect gentleman all day—aside from the incident on the massage table.

  What the hell’s going on?

  This isn’t the man I went home with that night or have been working beside the past couple of weeks. What. The. Hell?

  When all he does is hold me tighter, I decide I need to take matters into my own hands if I’m going to end this day satisfied. His hard cock presses into my arse cheek so I know he’s up for this.

  Flipping over, I push my palm against his shoulder. His eyes widen in surprise but I swear his lips twitch up into a small smile. He allows me to move him, and the second I throw my leg over his waist, his hands land on my hips.

  “What?” I snap when he looks up at me with amusement filling his eyes.

  “Nothing. Have at it.” His thumbs stroke across my hip and dip down to where my thighs meet. My core clenches, ready for what’s about to come.

  I grind down on him and his eyes flutter in pleasure. I knew he was just as on edge as I was.

  Lifting up a little, I free him and take him in my hand. I lower myself onto his cock and we both moan as I sink down as far as I can go.

  “Yesss,” I hiss when he hits me so deep it borders on painful.

  Placing my hands on his solid chest, I use him for leverage so I can lift almost all the way off before sinking straight back down.

  The longer I look at him, the more I see the tension on his face. His lips press into a thin line, and the muscle in his neck pulses. He might be allowing me to take control right now, but he’s not happy about it.

  Tingles of my impending orgasm start to build almost immediately. I don’t bother worrying if he’s with me; selfishly, I focus solely on what I need. Hopefully it’ll help pull him out of the nice act he’s been putting on all day. Of course I want a nice guy beneath it all, but on the surface I need a little more rough around the edges. I need the arsehole I know is hiding within those steel eyes.

  Grinding my hips, I ensure he hits me exactly where I need it and, after only a few seconds, my pussy pulls him even deeper as my orgasm rocks my body. I throw my head back as I cry out his name, my hips slowing as I lose control of my muscles. Taking matters into his own hands, his fingers dig into my hips and he pistons in and out of me a few more times before his cock swells and his cum fills me.

  Falling down onto him, both our chests heave as we try to catch our breaths.

  “Fuck, yes,” Trey says into the top of my head. If I weren’t suddenly so exhausted I might tell him it’s exactly what I’ve needed all day, too, but instead my eyes close and I fall fast asleep, still on top of him.

  Chapter Fourteen

  My heart drops when I reach out for him and all I find is an empty bed where he once slept. Propping myself up on my elbows, I cast my eyes around the room but he’s not there. It’s not until I register the sound of running water coming from the bathroom that my sleep-fogged brain realises where he is.

  Slipping from the bed, I untwist my nighty from around my waist and head over, hoping that I’ll find him in the waterfall shower.

  Pushing the door open, I have to do a double-take at the sight before me. Trey is bent over a bath full of white fluffy bubbles, lighting candles that litter every surface of the room.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Oh, you’re awake. I was coming to get you once I’d finished this.”

  “And what is this?”

  “It’s a bath…for you.”

  My frustration at how he’s been acting suddenly gets the better of me. I don’t mean to snap, but it’s like I’ve lost control of my mouth. “Yeah, I can see that. But why? Why are you doing this, being all nice all of a sudden, treating me like I’m something special? What’s the catch?”

  “The catch?” His brows draw together as he looks between the bath and me, confused.

  “Yeah. The catch. What do you want from me out of all this?”

  “I don’t want anything, Erica. I’m just being nice.”

  “That’s bullshit. Every man wants something. It clearly isn’t sex, because you were quite happy to go without last night. So what is it?”

  “I just wanted to treat you, to make you happy.”

  “Not possible. I’ve never met a man who didn't have an ulterior motive, so come on, just admit it. You might as well confess now so I can decide if I want to continue with this charade any longer.”

  Trey’s mouth opens like he has something he wants to say, but he closes it again, changing his mind. He takes a step toward me and I put my hands up to stop him. He pauses immediately, his eyes softening the longer he looks at me.

  “Erica,” he breathes, “I don’t have an ulterior motive. I wanted to spend the weekend with you and get to know each other better. That really is it.”

  Tears burn the back of my throat and my eyes fill with water. “I don’t believe you.”

  “Tough, bec
ause it’s the truth.” His voice is hard and it gives me a little hint of the man I thought I knew before this weekend. “I was trying to show you that not all men are arseholes. I was trying to be nice.”

  My emotions get the better of me and a sob bubbles up my throat. “Get out.” My voice is barely above a whisper, but it doesn't need to be any louder. Trey gets the message loud and clear.

  His shoulders drop, his eyes roaming over my face, trying to work me out, but thankfully he doesn't question me. He just nods once and walks past me, closing the door behind him.

  Falling down on to the edge of the bath, I suck in a few lungfuls of air, hoping my random onslaught of tears subsides.

  It’s all Trey’s fault.

  He’s playing with my emotions.

  It’s exactly why I didn't want to allow him to get too close in the first place. Now here I am, freaking out that he isn’t what he says he is while desperately wanting to believe him. But trusting a man is dangerous. I’ve experienced that enough to know that I should never put my heart on the line. It’s just not worth it.

  I make the most of the bath because, despite what I said, it really was a nice thing to do. I need to thank him properly when I get out.

  I take off yesterday’s make-up and moisturise my entire body, anything to put off going out there and facing him after my meltdown. I’m stronger than to allow a man to affect me like this.

  The room is empty when I cautiously step out. Thinking I’ve got a little reprieve from whatever he’s going to say after showing him that side of me, I walk over to my case and drag out some clothes.

  I’ve just pulled my t-shirt over my head when something out on the balcony catches my eye. Trey’s sitting out there wearing a thick jumper and holding a steaming mugful of coffee in his hands, but that’s not what really grabs my attention. It’s the tableful of food in front of him. My stomach rumbles despite the three-course meal we consumed last night, and I put my concerns about seeing him to the back of my mind in favour of one of the pastries sitting in front of him.

  His eyes fly to me the second I step out onto the balcony. He must have heard me moving around in the room, but he allowed me the space I needed, something I’m very grateful for.

  “How are you feeling?” Genuine concern fills his voice, and it makes me hate myself a little for accusing him of wanting something more than this from me.

  “Better, thank you. This looks delicious.”

  “I wasn’t sure what you'd want, so I asked for a selection of everything.”

  “It’s really incredible.” Reaching for a pastry, I waste no time in taking a bite and allowing the buttery goodness to melt on my tongue. I moan in pleasure and watch Trey’s eyes darken.

  “That good?” he asks, clearing his throat.

  “Almost that good. Bite?”

  “Sure.”

  I hold it up to his mouth and I’m fascinated as his full lips wrap around the sweet treat. My thighs clench, thinking back to those lips being on me only yesterday.

  “Good, right?” I ask, trying to focus on the here and now.

  He nods as he chews.

  As we eat our way through about a week’s worth of calories, I can see the million and one questions that fill his mind. I’m more grateful than I’d ever admit that he keeps them to himself.

  The silence between us isn’t awkward, but it’s also not as comfortable as it has been in the past. I only have myself to blame.

  “What did you want to do today?” he asks when the silence has stretched on a little too long.

  “Well…um…I actually need to visit someone. It’s something I do every Sunday morning, and she’ll be expecting me, so I’m going to have to bail on any plans.”

  “I didn’t have any plans. Can I take you?”

  “Um…” The thought of showing him the side of my life that I try to keep buried has my heart racing, but the look of hope on his face stops me from denying him. I already feel bad enough about what happened in the bathroom, and I feel like I somehow need to make up for it.

  “Sure. But then you can go and make the most of your day. I don’t want to keep you longer than necessary.”

  His mouth opens to reply, but he must change his mind because in the end, all he does is nod.

  It's no time at all before we’re checking out and heading towards Trey’s car. I hate that I’ve ruined our last few hours here, but there’s not a lot I can do about it now. I’ve got a date to keep. Searching for the postcode on my phone, I plug it into Trey’s Satnav and he’s soon pulling out onto the main road and heading towards our destination.

  “Who are you going to see?”

  I hesitate, not sure if I want to open up about it or not, but seeing as he’s going to see where we’re headed in less than thirty minutes, I guess there’s no point hiding it. “My mum. My sister and I usually do a yoga class together and then go and see her every Sunday.”

  “That’s nice.”

  Is it? I wonder. Most Sundays are pure hell, but he’s yet to understand the reality of the situation.

  The second we turn in where the Satnav suggests, Trey’s body tenses. I’m sure this place is far from what he was expecting.

  The Park View Care Home signs are impossible to miss as we drive up toward the building. Trey looks over at me. From the corner of my eye, I can see his brows are drawn together in…concern or confusion, I’m not really sure.

  “Just here’s great. Thank you so much,” I say when I spot Sam’s car in her usual space. On a normal Sunday we’d arrive together, but not knowing what time I’d get here today, I told her to go on in without me. “It’s been…really good.”

  I move to jump from the car, but the panic in his voice stops me. “Erica, wait.”

  I don’t look back at him. I know that, if I do, everything I don’t want to say to him will just fall from my mouth.

  “I’ll see you at work tomorrow. Thank you.” With that, I slam his car door behind me and all but run towards the care home.

  “Good morning, sweetie. We weren’t sure if you were going to make it this morning,” Sally, one of Mum’s carers sings when I walk towards their desk.

  I just about manage to bite back my short response about me being here every Sunday without fail. Poor Sally doesn’t deserve to be on the wrong end of my mood right now. “Here I am. How is she?”

  “Not good. She’s sleeping now, was up most of the night apparently. Your sister’s with her.”

  “Thank you.”

  I don’t really even know why I feel so frustrated. After the luxury I’ve had for the past twenty-four hours, I really should be more relaxed than ever. I’m not sure if it’s having to leave Trey or my residual anger from this morning, but the closer I get to Mum’s room, the tighter my muscles get.

  My steps slow as I approach her open door, just like they do every time. I hate being here. I hate seeing her like this. But I still do it every Sunday without fail like it’s expected of me. And I guess in some ways, it is. But if I were to think back to all her failings as a mother, I’m sure no one could criticize if I were to turn my back.

  “Hey,” I whisper as I round the corner, knowing exactly what seat I’ll find my sister sitting in.

  The moment she registers it’s me, she jumps to the edge of her seat, a smile playing on her lips. “How was it?”

  Blowing out a breath, I walk over and gently kiss Mum’s forehead before falling down onto my seat and looking toward my overly excited sister.

  “It was…over the top, expensive, incredible, scary.”

  “Scary?”

  “I’m just trying to figure out what his angle is, what he wants.”

  “Does he have to want anything more than you?”

  “Always. Men always want more.”

  “There will be one who doesn’t, Erica. You need to give it enough time to figure out if he’s that one.” She stares at me for a few seconds as her words settle in my head. “Anyway, he is seriously hot for an older man.” />
  A genuine laugh falls from my lips and I immediately feel lighter. Sam has a way of making everything seem that little bit more bearable.

  Mum stays asleep the whole time we visit. As usual when this is the case, we leave a little note and a couple of very questionable drawings for her to look at when she’s able. It’s horrible, sitting there knowing she has no idea we’ve visited, especially as we’re both very aware that no one else will be here until this time next Sunday, but what else can we do? It’s not like we can put our lives on hold for however long she’s going to be here. Plus, the chances of her knowing who we are or being aware that we’re in the room even if she was awake are slim.

  We’re chatting away as we walk out through the care home entrance when I suddenly stop.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “He’s still here.” I’ve no idea why I whisper; it’s not like he could hear me from inside his car at the other side of the car park, anyway.

  “Did you tell him to go?”

  “Uh…” I think back over our awkward conversation before I ran from his car. “Well, no, but I thought I made it quite clear not to stay.”

  He must feel my stare, because his eyes lift and find mine. A smile curls his lips while my heart starts to race.

  “I think you’ve found yourself a keeper there.”

  Her words barely register. The only thing I can really hear is my blood whooshing past my ears.

  “I don’t…I’m not…”

  “Pull yourself together, woman,” my sister laughs.

  We both watch, Sam excited, me in total disbelief, as Trey pushes the car door open so he can greet me.

  “Well? What are you waiting for? Go to him. Go and thank him properly for sitting out here all this time.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Erica, you’ve got to trust someone one day.”

  With those few words ringing in my ears, I make my way towards him. His smile only gets wider the closer I get. Regret twists my stomach for how I treated him this morning. Maybe my sister’s right. Maybe I do need to try to trust him.

  “Hey, you didn’t have to wait.”

  “I know. I wanted to.” His hand finds mine and his fingers squeeze. My heart damn near explodes. No one’s ever actually wanted to do something like that for me before. “What? You’re looking at me like my skin’s suddenly turned purple or something.”