The Unusual Suspects

by Michael Buckley

  “She wants to know what …”

  “I heard her!” Sabrina growled at the boy. “It means you are being silly! It means you are being a baby!”

  “Tell my sister that I’m rubber and she’s glue and whatever she says bounces off me and sticks to her.”

  “Your sister says …”

  “Puck!” Sabrina shouted. She turned back to her food and took a bite of something she thought might be chicken. It wasn’t even close.

  “Well, if you’re not going to talk to me, then you won’t know that I’ve found a clue,” she said.

  Daphne’s face lit up as bright as the sun. “What kind of clue?”

  “Are you done with the silent treatment?” her sister asked.

  “Depends on how good the clue is.”

  “You know those dusty footprints we were following last night? Well there’s a kid in my homeroom whose feet were covered in the same dust.”

  “What did you do?” Daphne asked, interested despite herself.

  “I tried to follow him, but he slipped into the boiler room,” Sabrina said. “We’re going to have to come back after everyone’s gone and do some snooping.”

  Daphne smiled and hugged Sabrina.

  Puck sniffed the creamed corn on his tray. He reached down with his bare hand and scooped some up. Then he licked it with his tongue. “Any of those disgusting warts show up, yet?”

  “Ms. White told me that you don’t get warts from touching frogs,” the little girl growled. “Not even frog-girls.”

  “Ahh, I’m sorry to see that little joke die.” The boy sighed as creamed corn dripped down his wrist and onto his clean shirt. “I had you completely freaked out.”

  “Hardy-har-har, Puck, you are so un-punk rock,” Daphne said, turning her attention to her sister. “So, what’s the plan?”

  “First, you have to get a detention,” Sabrina said as she eyed her gray hamburger.

  “What?” Daphne cried.

  “Puck got us in trouble, so we have to stay after school. Since the two of us have to stay, you might as well get in trouble, too. We should try to stick together.”

  “How am I supposed to get a detention?” the little girl asked.

  “I don’t know! Insult your teacher or something.”

  “I can’t do that to Ms. White!”

  “Yes you can. Be annoying!” Sabrina suggested. “You do it to me every day.”

  Daphne looked as if she was going to cry.

  When the children met at the end of the last period, Daphne was back to giving Sabrina the silent treatment. Sabrina asked her how she’d managed to get detention, but she wouldn’t answer. Sabrina shrugged. If she worried every time her sister got mad at her, she’d never have time to do anything else. Daphne would get over it. The important thing was that they were all together. Nothing bad could happen when they were together.

  They walked down the hallway toward the detention room and Puck was nothing but complaints.

  “I can’t believe I have to be subjected to this torture,” he whined. “I am royalty. To say anything I do is inappropriate in school is just foolish. Everything I do is majestic and regal.”

  “So when you were picking your nose in Mr. Cafferty’s class, that was regal?” Sabrina asked.

  “Absolutely,” he said. “Back home people stand out in the freezing rain for days just to hear a rumor that I picked my nose.”

  “Ugh,” was all Sabrina could say to Puck’s disgusting conversation.

  “This detention is going to be horrible. I’ve heard stories. Some kids go into that class and never come out, and the ones that do aren’t the same.”

  “Aren’t you being a little dramatic?”

  “Not at all,” Puck insisted. “From what I hear, this detention is a house of horrors.”

  Sabrina rolled her eyes and opened the detention room door. Immediately she put her hand over Daphne’s eyes. Mrs. Heart lay in one corner of the room. Snow White struggled to her feet in another, and in the center was a skeleton in shredded coveralls with a name patch still visible—Charlie. The killer had left one identifying mark on the fabric of the coveralls—a bright red handprint.

  “See, I told you!” Puck said proudly.

  “It’s gross, isn’t it?” Daphne asked, turning into her sister’s arms and hiding her face in Sabrina’s sweater.

  “Yes, it’s gross,” Sabrina whispered.

  “I guess this means we don’t have detention,” Puck said.

  Daphne pulled herself away from her sister and rushed to Ms. White. The teacher didn’t look seriously injured, but was dizzy and disoriented. The children helped her to her feet and sat her at one of the desks in the classroom. Sabrina kneeled down to check on Mrs. Heart. She was breathing normally, but was out cold.

  “What happened, Ms. White?” Sabrina asked.

  The teacher looked confused and mumbled, but only one word was distinguishable: “Wendell.”

  Suddenly, there was a loud thump outside the window, followed by a painful moan. The children ran to the window and Sabrina stuck her head out. Below her was Wendell. The boy had jumped out the window, tumbled end over end, and was climbing to his feet.

  “Hey!” she shouted. The boy looked up and his face went pale. He darted off toward the woods as fast as his chubby little legs could carry him.

  Puck’s enormous wings burst out of his back. “I’ll get the little piggy.”

  Sabrina grabbed his arm before he could fly away. “Someone might see you,” she cried, dragging the boy back from the window. Instead, she crawled out herself, dropping five feet before landing safely on the ground. Daphne followed and her sister caught her. Puck refused Sabrina’s assistance and jumped on his own, his wings no longer visible.

  “He’s headed for the forest,” Sabrina shouted and the three children sprinted across the field. Wendell was not a fast runner, but he had a big head start. He had already disappeared into the forest by the time the children reached the tree line.

  “We lost him,” Sabrina groaned.

  “No, he left a trail,” Puck said, pointing at deep, muddy footprints. The group raced on, following the trail.

  “He’s confused,” the boy said as they followed the footprints up a hill. “He goes in one direction and then turns back and runs the other way. It’s slowing him down. We’ll find him soon.”

  Puck was right. It wasn’t long before they found the chubby boy, cornered against a steep rocky wall. When Wendell saw them, he whimpered like a dog and looked frantically for an escape.

  “It’s not what you think,” he said, wiping his nose with his handkerchief.

  “Then why are you running?” Sabrina asked.

  “I was trying to help,” he cried. “I’m trying to stop them.”

  “Who’s them?” Daphne asked.

  Suddenly, the frightened boy pulled out a small harmonica and raised it to his lips.

  “Don’t make me use this!” he shouted.

  “C’mon, tubby,” Puck said. “We know you’re the killer. We’ll take you back and call the cops. It’ll all be over in no time. Don’t worry, I hear the electric chair only hurts for a second.”

  Wendell blew a long, sour note into his harmonica and the whole forest erupted with chatter and scurrying. The noise grew louder and louder and Sabrina thought that at any moment some horrible monster or giant was going to charge out of the brush. But the noise stopped suddenly, and a furry little bunny hopped out from behind a tree. It was the cutest brown rabbit she had ever seen and it bounded over to them and stopped at their feet. It looked up at the children with its soft, warm eyes and made a little twittering noise.

  “A bunny!” Daphne cried, as she knelt down to pet it. “I love him!”

  The rabbit snapped at her finger and let out a horrible, angry hiss.

  “An evil bunny,” the little girl said, yanking her finger away.

  “So that’s what your harmonica does?” Puck laughed. “Sends a rabbit to kill us?”


  Wendell didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. His silence was filled by the sound of hundreds of rabbits pouring into the clearing as if they had heard Puck’s taunt. They jostled one another for room, then turned and faced Wendell as if he was some kind of general. It was obvious the boy was controlling them.

  “Guys, I forgot to tell you the other clue I discovered,” Sabrina said nervously. “Wendell is an Everafter. He’s the Pied Piper’s son and apparently the magic runs in the family.”

  “Now you listen to me,” Puck said, as his wings sprouted from his back and flapped vigorously, until he was floating above the ground. “You’re a killer and from what I’ve been told, that’s against the law these days. Now, we can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way.”

  “Puck, shut up,” Sabrina demanded, but the Trickster just kept on talking and Wendell’s face grew more and more desperate. Each furry little rodent twitched with eagerness, waiting for the boy to give a command.

  “If you think a bunch of hairy little garden thieves are going to stop me, you are sadly mistaken,” Puck continued. “So, call off your fur balls or I’m going to skin the lot of them and make me the biggest winter coat you’ve ever seen!”

  Wendell lifted his harmonica to his mouth and another sour note rang through the air. The rabbits instantly turned and faced the kids. Their soft brown eyes were now red with anger.

  “Get them,” Wendell shouted and, like a furry army, the first wave of rabbits lunged at the children.

  hat’s the best you can do, fat boy?” Puck shouted, spinning on his heels and transforming into a massive thirteen-foot brown bear. He roared so viciously that Sabrina felt it in her toes, but it did nothing to stop the rabbits. They dove onto Puck in waves, knocking his mammoth body to the ground and covering him from head to toe.

  “Puck!” the girls shouted, terrified that he’d been killed. And for a brief moment it seemed as if their fears were true. But the boy soared out of the bunny pile, giant wings flapping, and into the sky. He dipped back down, snatched each girl by the hand, and began an awkward effort to fly out of the forest.

  “Next time, why doesn’t one of you tell me to shut up?” Puck cried.

  Daphne and Sabrina looked at each other incredulously.

  “I am so going to have nightmares about this,” Daphne whined.

  Puck sailed through the forest, barely managing to avoid the giant cedars and fir trees that seemed to appear out of nowhere. He ducked between branches and flapped fiercely to raise the girls over the brush and pricker bushes on the forest floor. One desperate effort to dodge a huge Chinese maple tree forced him to dive close to the ground, where one of the rabbits leaped up and sank its teeth into Sabrina’s pant leg. She shook it off and it disappeared into the furry sea below.

  “Head for the river,” Sabrina cried. “They can’t follow us over the water.”

  Puck frowned at her. “I know what I’m doing,” he growled.

  “If you knew what you were doing, we wouldn’t have two million zombie bunnies chasing us!” she shouted.

  “Guys,” Daphne said, trying to get their attention, but her sister was too angry to listen.

  “How was I supposed to know that kid was mentally unhinged?” Puck said.

  “I don’t know,” Sabrina snapped. “Maybe when we found him running from a dead body?”

  “Guys!” Daphne shouted.

  “What!” Puck and Sabrina snapped.

  “LOOK OUT!”

  Sabrina looked up to see a fifteen-foot-high fence in front of them. Puck made a desperate swerve and narrowly missed smashing into it, but the near collision didn’t slow down the argument.

  “I don’t know why I’m involved in this, anyway!” he cried. “I’m one of the bad guys!”

  “The only bad thing about you is your breath!” Sabrina shouted. “All we ever hear about is Puck the villain! What kind of villain has creamed corn all over his shirt?”

  The boy snarled, made a dramatic turn to the left, and looked Sabrina dead in the eye.

  “You want to see how bad I can be?” he growled. “I’ll show you what I’m capable of!”

  He soared into the backyard of someone’s home, a stocky senior citizen who was puttering around his yard. As the trio flew past him they heard the man shout, “Agnes! The rabbits have been digging up the yard, again. I swear, the next one I see is going to wish it hadn’t been born!”

  Puck howled with laughter as he led the bunnies right through the poor man’s yard. By the time the old fellow saw them coming, it was too late. Sabrina caught a glimpse of his shocked face as the first wave of rabbits knocked him to the ground. “Agnes!” he cried. They hopped over him as if he wasn’t even there.

  “That was mean!” Daphne shouted at Puck.

  Flapping vigorously, the boy flew across the street just as an old woman’s car came to a stop at the intersection. She was a tiny old lady who could barely see over the dashboard. She must have been legally blind, too, because she waited patiently, unblinking, for Puck and the two girls to fly across the road, followed by a couple thousand rabbits. When her way was clear, she drove off as if nothing unusual had happened at all.

  “People are going to see us! You’ve got to get us off the street,” Sabrina insisted.

  “Oh, you want me to get us off the street? Fine, your wish is my command,” Puck yelled. He flew straight toward a house where a tall man had just opened his front door. As the man bent over to pick up his newspaper, Puck flew inside.

  “No! Don’t,” Daphne cried as Puck sailed through the living room, into the dining room, and flapped awkwardly over the table. Below them, two small children were setting the table, oblivious to the scene above their heads. They were hungrily eyeing a glistening golden ham in the center of a dinner feast. Puck dipped lower and Daphne accidentally kicked the ham and a bowl of mashed potatoes onto the floor. The family’s two hyperactive English springer spaniels then raced into the room and tore into the fallen food.

  “Chelsea! Maxine! No!” the mother shouted, running in from the kitchen and desperately trying to drag the remains of the ham from their greedy mouths. “Bad dogs!” She didn’t look up, but the children did.

  “So sorry,” Daphne shouted to the open-mouthed children as Puck flew into the kitchen. They found the back door. Sabrina opened it and they zipped outside. The rabbits had noticed their detour and now tumbled through the house, knocking over furniture and sending lamps crashing to the floor. They blasted out of windows and knocked the back door off its hinges and still managed to gain ground.

  Sabrina looked up at Puck and saw the proud grin on his face.

  “That wasn’t funny,” she snapped.

  “Yes it was,” he said.

  “They’re still coming,” Daphne cried. “We have to go somewhere they can’t go.”

  “We’re on our way,” Puck crowed. Soon they were out of the neighborhoods and flying back over acres of overgrown woods. In no time, the Hudson River stretched out before them.

  “If we fly out over the river, they won’t be able to follow,” Sabrina said.

  “Oh, we’re going over the river all right, but not to save you from the rabbits,” Puck cried. “We’re going over because you questioned my villainy.”

  Sabrina looked up into his face. “You wouldn’t dare!”

  “That’s another thing you shouldn’t question!”

  He flapped his wings hard and soon the three were soaring over the rocky cliffs, high above the Hudson. Sabrina watched as the rabbits raced to the cliff’s edge and then abruptly stopped.

  “Anyone ready for a swim?” Puck asked.

  “Don’t do it!” Sabrina demanded.

  “Next time you talk to me, maybe you’ll do well to remember that I am royalty.”

  But before Puck could dump them into the icy water, his body buckled as if he had flown into a brick wall. Sabrina lost her grip on him and dropped like a stone, landing hard in the freezing river below. She sank deep into
the river then swam frantically to reach the surface in time to see Daphne splash down beside her.

  “Daphne!” she screamed as her sister sank below the surface. Sabrina dived into the water and, after several moments of frantic searching, her already numb fingers found something soft and fluffy. It was Daphne! Sabrina wrapped her arms around her sister and pulled her to the surface.

  The little girl gasped for air and started choking as a mouthful of water spilled from her lips.

  “Where’s Puck?” she asked, between painful coughs.

  Sabrina scanned the waves nearby, but there was no sign of the boy.

  “Puck!” she shouted. There was no response.

  Sabrina turned her sister toward the shore. “Can you make it?” she asked.

  Daphne nodded. Sabrina let her go and the little girl doggy-paddled toward land. Luckily, their father had taught them both how to swim at the YMCA near their apartment and Daphne had taken to it like a fish. She’d be fine.

  “Puck!” Sabrina shouted again. She took a deep breath and dived back into the cold water, knowing she didn’t have a lot of time. The water was so icy she was losing feeling in her feet. She moved back and forth, searching in the dark waters with her hands, but finding nothing. Finally, her lungs ached for oxygen, and she was forced to return to the surface.

  Gasping for breath, she noticed something odd floating in the distance. When she looked closer she knew what it was—giant, glittery wings. She swam as hard as she could and found Puck facedown in the water. She turned him over. His face was blue. She wrapped her arm around his cold body and swam to shore as best she could. There, Daphne helped her drag the motionless boy onto dry ground.

  “Please don’t be dead, Puck!” the little girl cried.

  “Stand back,” Sabrina said. She tilted the boy’s head and looked in his mouth for obstructions. She had taken life-saving lessons in school but had only tried CPR once on a rubber dummy—never on a real, live person! Worse, she remembered her teacher had given her a C-minus for the course.

  She took a deep breath and placed her mouth on Puck’s, blowing all the air she could down his windpipe. Nothing happened. She did it again. She remembered to press on his sternum to force air in and out of his lungs. She counted off fifteen compressions and then returned to blowing into his mouth.