Ghost of a Chance

by Jamila Jesse

  Jess often went out with the girls. After that, they returned to the apartment regularly and complained about the difficulties of finding a good man today. She and the girls still had a lot of fun going out, but they often tried to get boys. Yet they persisted.

  On a fateful night, the return visit to the apartment would be very different. Just before midnight, the door opened and Josie - one of the new girls Jess went out with - started shouting my name.

  "Dave! Dave! Come in here! We need your help," she shouted.

  I jump off the couch and find Josie and Rose carrying Jess. When I looked at her, she developed a bloody face and a black eye.

  "What the hell happened!" I screamed.

  Josie answered as they helped her to the couch.

  I ran to the kitchen to get an ice pack and two towels and ran to the couch.

  "Jess, are you okay?" I ask her calmly.

  "Guys, damn it," she murmured back to me.

  I gently wipe the blood from her face and place the ice pack in her eye. Josie and Rose also crawled around him, rubbing their shoulders and clapping their hand.

  Jess started to cry softly as his forehead gently pressed against my chest.

  "Tell me what happened, Jess," I ask him softly, gently rubbing his shoulder and neck.

  “I met a man. He looked very kind. We really seemed to make contact and after a while we started kissing. I got nervous and told him I was trans because I didn't want to lie to him and he spit on me and he spit on me and called me a freak ... "She paused to compose herself before moving on has.' He screamed at me and punched me twice in the face before running out of the club. '

  She kept crying. I could feel your mind breaking in my arms.

  "The bitch boy called her a transvestite freak. It was so terrible, 'Rose added.

  Burning, blind anger exploded in me. I wanted to get this guy and kill him. It literally kills him. He hurt Jess and had to pay.

  "I'll kill him. Tell me who he is, and I'll kill him. He'll never hurt him again, 'I say angry to lose myself.

  "I just want you to be here with me, Dave. Just be here with me, please," she replied desperately.

  My anger was suddenly cooled by the deep need to protect and comfort Jess to make sure she was okay. I pulled her towards me to comfort her.

  "I'm sorry, Jess. Of course I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you," I reply, realizing that my anger didn't help.

  After a while Jess calmed down and we found that the blood on his face was mostly from a cut above the eye. Rose, Josie and I cleaned them carefully. We sat and comforted her for the next hour. In the end, the girls decide I have things under control.

  "Is that okay, Jess?" Rose asked.

  Jess nodded to her friend. Rose and Josie hug her and tell me to call if we need anything.

  I spent an hour with Jess on the sofa. She cries now and again, making my heart melt even more.

  "I'm very tired, Dave. Can you help me sleep? ' she asks me after her tears have dried.

  I slowly get off the couch, like her. I then reached under her legs and took her in my arms. His arms wrapped around my neck as his head sat on my shoulder. I take her into the bedroom and gently lie her down on the bed. I was about to leave her room when she stopped me.

  "Are you going to lie to me for a while? Maybe I'm even sleeping? I really don't want to be alone now," she asked.

  I shake my head and come to bed.

  "Are you going to take off my heels?" she asked in a sweet, soft tone.

  I pull off his heels. Then she sat down briefly, pulled the dress up and over her head, loosened her bra and threw both on the floor.

  "Can you get my jersey there?" She says, pointing to a long pink shirt in her basket.

  I picked it up and brought it to her. She put it on and lay down on the right. Then she looked at me and slapped the bed behind her back, a sign that she was ready for me to come in.

  I take out the bloodstained shirt and throw it on the floor. I crawl to the spot where she strikes beside her. She immediately grabbed my arm and pulled me tight, holding my hand and wrapping her arm around her.

  I give her a soft kiss on the head - a gesture to let her know that I am there for her and that everything is okay.

  "I'm so glad I got you, Dave. You are my everything, 'she told me in an exhausted but appreciative voice.

  We both fell asleep within minutes.

  After that experience, Jess's confidence was seriously compromised. Not only did Jess not make an appointment yet, but when she was interested in someone from afar, she failed in the most dreadful way.

  Over the next few days she called and worked for a long time. Most of the time she sat in the apartment in silence, barely eating. I had to force her to feed almost every night just to make sure she had something in her system. I also came home a few times and found her sleeping on the couch.

  When Friday dawned, I knew I had to do something. She didn't feel better and I was incredibly concerned about her mental state. I called work and when Jess woke up at 1:00 pm, I put her on the sofa to talk.

  "I want to get you out of here. Me and you. Let's eat, watch a movie of everything you want, Jess," I told her.

  "I'm sorry, Dave. I really don't feel like it," she replies sweetly.

  "I don't take no for an answer," I reply in a playful but semi-serious tone.

  "That's fine. You don't have to try to make me feel better. I'm fine, 'she said.

  I grab her hands and let her look at me at eye level. Her sad expression melted me and I knew I had to convince her. I was incredibly worried about her and my eyes were unexpected when I started talking.

  "Jess. I want to take you out. Just me and you. No conditions. No expectations. We just love fun. I'm worried about you. Deep down. It kills me to see you like that and I'll be cursed if I won't do anything to help someone I love, 'I said.

  The words escaped my lips before I could retract them. I've never said anything like this before, so it certainly wasn't the norm. Still, I knew I meant every word. At that moment, these words were a revelation to me. The only question was if she noticed.

  Yes, she realized.

  For the first time in days, she smiles. She slides down next to me and hugs me tightly and long and kisses me on the cheek.

  "Good. I will only because it is you, 'she said softly.

  "Okay. I wanted to hear it," I answered.

  "I don't know what I would do without you. You always take care of me and take care of me. I don't deserve someone like you. You are my everything," she says softly against my chest, my head still.

  These words have never aged.

  We sat together for a few minutes, her head against me and her arms around me. I could have stayed there forever. We made plans for the day and discussed where we were going and what we were going to do. I promised to buy her ice cream with turtle strips as we left and even let her buy a new outfit. I mentioned a long list of things we could do and they seemed to like everyone.

  Finally we got up and dressed. She wore a beautiful floral summer dress while wearing my outfit - jeans and a T-shirt. She looked bright and alive again as we walked out the door.

  The night together was perfect. The dinner. Shopping. The ice cream. The conversation. Time together. I realized how lucky I was to have you in my life. Unless I knew now that I wanted her to be more than just a friend. My feelings for her got much deeper and she needed to know.

  She always told me that I was everything to her. Actually, it was mine. She was the person I woke up with and thought about. The person I thought of during the day. The girl I dreamed of at night.

  After leaving our rooms that night, I decided to tell her about my growing feelings for her. I decided to tell her the next day as soon as we saw each other. I knew we belonged to each other and it would only start tomorrow.

  An unfortunate surprise

  The next morning I got up early and started making a good breakfast for both of us. As Jess entered the kitchen, her e
yes gleamed at the spread I had placed.

  "Wow, what's that?" she asked with a bright and beautiful smile on her face.

  God, she was so beautiful. It has always been so beautiful.

  "Ah, I just wanted to do something cute for my girl," I reply.

  She came closer, pinched me tightly and sat down. For the next ten minutes we ate breakfast in silence. Right now I was dying and I had to say something.

  "I wanted to talk to you about something, Jess," I begin.

  "Ah, I wanted to talk to you too," she replies excitedly.

  'Oh, cool. So you go first. ' I offered.

  "Well, last night was so amazing and perfect. I know I was really depressed after last week's incident, and as always, you were there to save me as always. You don't know how much that means to me, 'she began.

  I smiled.

  "It actually made it clear to me last night. After I left and had fun with you, I realized that I couldn't spend my life because I'm afraid someone will hurt me again. I have to go there." went there and I will try to find myself again, 'she says enthusiastically.

  Those were not the words I expected. My heart sank when I heard it. Is it wrong? Have I been in the friends zone forever? My mind runs a million miles per second to understand things. I knew I had to say something, which is why I put together so much willpower to formulate an answer that didn't seem infallible or completely wrong.

  "I'm very happy to hear that, Jess," I reply.

  Liar.

  I wasn't. I was devastated. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and how I wanted us to be together. The thought of going out with other men was incredible. I still wanted to tell her, but the smile on her face told me that she was in a different place.

  I don't think it should be me.

  I loved her. I knew it without a doubt. I'll do anything for you. Most of all, I wanted her to be happy. For now, my hopes and dreams had to be suspended.

  "What do you want to talk about?" She asked me.

  "Ah, it's really nothing. I can't even remember it anymore," I reply.

  A large part of me died at that moment.

  We chatted for a few more minutes, though I don't remember what was said. It did not take long to follow both separate paths. Jess asked Rose and Josie to go out that night. I stayed home, a fool who thought.

  I knew deep down that Jess would have no problem finding people who were willing to go out with her. It was breathtaking. She was beautiful, flirtatious, confident and incredibly pleasant. Anyone who spent more than 5 minutes with her had to fall in love. Just like me.

  Of course, the next six months confirmed that.

  Jess was far more successful than before. As it turns out, for some people their transsexuality was not a problem. In fact, she seemed to talk about a new man every night. In the first few weeks, she brought several back to the apartment. So much so that it was hard for me to watch them.

  Was it Johhny, Eric, Brad or Harry? Or is it Eli, Samuel, Anthony or Mike?

  I came home from work and found Jess on the couch with a new man I had never seen. I quietly went into the kitchen, drank and went back to my room at night, my heart depressed in my hand.

  Every new man was like a dagger in my chest. My feelings for Jess did not subside. If anything, they just increased. I have never loved like this and time did not heal these wounds.

  Day after day, week after week, month after month, I saw these men come and go. It came and went. Their laughter, laughter and kissing focus on this endless procession of handsome men, and I'm dead inside.

  Jess, however, seemed happy. She was lively, carefree and totally uninterested in settling with just one man. Most of these people were there for a week or two at most, most of them only lasting two or three days.

  She and I were still talking at the time, but I used it to keep our conversations short. Our conversations were not the same as before. I couldn't take it. I couldn't stop her from talking about each of these guys and asking my opinion on their dating life. Every time she shows off her incredible body in one of her new clothes, my soul feels depressed. Every time she said "Oh Dave, don't wait", I wanted to cry.

  Over time, the relationship between me and Jess became more and more intense. It was all due to me and my inability to get over it. I knew she could feel it to a certain extent. She kept asking me if I was okay. I always had several practical excuses in the series that would temporarily prevent them from being the true source of my depression.

  However, after more than six months of that living hell, I was encouraged by an unexpected source.

  attention

  One Saturday, Rose came to fetch Jess and went out at night. I read on the couch as she came to me and sat down next to me. Jess was still in the shower and would not be outside for at least 20 or 30 minutes.

  After a few minutes of silence, Rose decides to speak.

  "Hey Dave, are you okay?" She asked.

  "Then why are you asking?" I answered.

  "You have been depressed for a while. Jess, Josie and I are worried about you," she replies, adding, "Jess talks about this all the time. She's really worried about you, baby. She's with Josie and me. I often cry because she is afraid something is really wrong and you do not open. "

  "I'm fine. I'm struggling with things," I said, knowing it was a lie.

  After a brief moment of silence, Rose hits me right where it hurts.

  "You love her?" Rose said.

  I looked at Rose and made eye contact, but I didn't answer. I was frozen.

  "I know the look. You love her. You've loved her a lot. Don't lie to me, Dave, I can say that," she said in an assertive tone.

  I shook my head slightly to confirm.

  "Look, honey, it's growing right in front of our eyes. It took a while to discover and discover life. It's been suppressed for so long that it's the natural consequence of being free for the first time. I know you to kill him to see her with all these guys. But I'll tell you something - it means nothing to her. Nothing. It's a phase and she grows up with it, "Rose says comfortably.

  His words hit me hard. Despite my efforts to stop them, tears streamed down my face. I closed my eyes to keep them in check. Rose reaches out and gently erases it.

  "Listen to me, Dave. If she does all this, she will return to you. I know it in my heart," Rose says confidently.

  "I don't know," I reply.

  "I love it. She loves you. More than you know," she replies.

  "Well, we've been friends for a long time," I begin to say.

  Rose interrupted me and said, "No, not that you're stupid. Listen to what I'm saying. She loves you. Every man she met was unlucky enough to compare you to each other. There's a reason that one of these guys stays here for a long time. None of them are you. "

  "What do you think?" I asked.

  "Every time Josie and I ask her about the new guy she meets, she always compares herself to you. Always! She probably doesn't even realize she does. And Gary, Jess? ' Oh, he's fine, but he doesn't, he's as good as Dave. " What about Sam?" he was already right, but Dave is funnier than him. " What about Mike?" Great man, but Dave looks better than him, " " she replied.

  "There's not a single day when she doesn't talk about you. Believe me, I know! These guys, who she goes with, never like it, honey. For some reason, every man does not meet their standards. .. because you are default ".

  I was on the floor, but also incredibly confused.

  "If that's the case, why doesn't she say anything? Why aren't we together then? ' I asked.

  Rose quietly replied, "Because Dave is her world. You mean more to her than anything else. She's afraid of losing it. She doesn't want to do anything or say anything because she fears it will change." Things between you two forever. Right now, she knows she has it in her life, even though she doesn't know what it's doing to you. Your sweet, sweet son. If she knew exactly what her courtship had done to you, she would have closed it immediately. It is the center of your universe. "

 
"I just want her to be happy, Rose, that's all," I reply sincerely.

  "Ah, honey, I know you like it. The problem is, Jess wants you to be happy too. I'm just waiting for the moment when you two notice it together," Rose replies.

  At that moment, the bathroom door opens and Jess comes out. She was so beautiful, and wore a tight red skirt with a low cut of the neck that showed her essential split and embraced her perfect, tight ass behind her back. It was no wonder that every man wanted to go out with her. It was an image of perfection.

  Jess turned and looked at me. She could see that something was wrong. With a confused expression on her face, she turned to Rose and asked, "Rose, what are you two talking about?"

  Rose jumps off the couch and quickly follows Jess to the door. When she opened the door, I heard Jess ask, "Is Dave okay? He doesn't look good. Should I be with him, Rose?"

  I heard Rose respond just before closing the door: 'He's fine, honey. Do not worry.

  I went. I'm fine , Rose gave me an incredible gift.

  Hope.

  I hope Jess and I can be together someday. That was enough now.

  The catalyst

  Only a few weeks later did I come home late. As I entered, I saw that Jess had kissed another stranger on the couch. As was my custom, I discreetly went to the kitchen to drink and head back to my room.

  I sat down on the bed, picked up a book and put on my headphones to hide the world. The music isolated me from everything going on in the room because I really didn't want to know about it.

  After a few minutes, however, I heard loud voices about the music on my headphones. I pulled out one of the capsules and could hear Jess screaming. I jump out of my bed and open the door to see if I can clearly hear what's going on.

  "Damn! Stop it! I said no! Dave! Dave!" I heard her clearly screaming now.

  My heart exploded! I open the door and run into the room like lightning.

  The stranger was standing over her now as she lay on the couch. I looked at Jess and could see that her dress was slightly torn. Burning anger kindled in me. Insatiable anger filled every pore in my body and I made a B-line directly to you. I could only see red. I would kill him whoever it was.

  "Dave, no, no!" Yelled Jess.