The Juju Girl

by Nikki Marsh

  She turned her attention to me. "And what about you, little Missy? You act as if nothing has happened. Could it be you grieved so much for your poor Popá that there is none left for my poor Brigitte? That, I could understand, but aren't you worried the same fate that took my Brigitte away from me will come for you?"

  "What do you mean, Auntie?"

  Maman broke in.

  "Don't pay attention to her foolish taunts, Gabbie."

  Auntie smiled coyly. "Oh, I forgot. You don't understand at all, do you?"

  She stood up from the table, her eyes flashing with anger and hatred.

  "Yes, all of you are so normal and healthy now, and I'm glad for you."

  Her voice dropped an octave.

  "Hasn't anyone noticed I'm dead? Do you hear me? Dead!" she screamed and pounded the table with both hands.

  "Sorrow has ripped my heart from my body. But all of you are so self-absorbed you can't even smell my putrefying flesh, can you? My body is rotting from the inside because I have no heart to pump my blood. I lost it when I lost Brigitte. Does anyone believe it will ever grow back? I think not! Take me to the morgue. That's where a dead woman belongs."

  She stormed from the table and retreated to the Shrine of Brigitte. Her outburst shook us. Everyone had hoped returning to the market would take her mind off of her loss, but that did not happen. After a few days, she realized Uncle was right. The markets had changed over the years. She struggled to manage, and her pride kept her from seeking help from Uncle Phonse. She dropped her plan to spend more time at the market in favor of spending more time worshiping at the shrine.

  After a few minutes of shock and silence, Maman spoke. She assured us it was Auntie's grief talking, adding that she could never imagine the pain of losing me. I liked Maman for defending Auntie, even though Auntie attacked us all. Uncle Phonse got up from the table to go after her, but Maman grabbed his hand and persuaded him it would be best if he left her alone right now. She changed the subject.

  "I understand Gabbie wants you to become her Godfather."

  "She tells me she doesn't have godparents."

  "No, she doesn't. When I first moved to Buras, I separated myself from God and my family. I soon became pregnant, and when my labor started, it was long and complicated. Gus worried that either the child or I or both of us might not survive, and he sent for the parish priest. He knew my faith was only dormant, not dead. He didn't want us to die outside the arms of the Church. As soon as Gabbie was born, the priest baptized her. He called it an emergency baptism. That's why she has no godparents."

  "If you didn't feel connected to God, Maman, why did we go to mass every Sunday?"

  "Mostly to please Gus. He wanted you to know your faith, and gradually I understood that God didn't turn away from me. I had turned away from Him."

  She turned to Uncle Phonse. "You would make a perfect Godfather. Gus would have liked nothing better than formalizing Gabbie's baptism with you as her Godfather."

  Uncle Phonse's candle inside of him, the one that went out after Brigitte's death, burned again. It reminded me of the sunlight that pierced through the heavy clouds the morning after the Great Storm. He and Maman spent part of the morning in the large parlor talking about happier times and planning a quiet baptismal ceremony, nothing elaborate in deference to Auntie's feelings. When he left for the market, Maman remained downstairs a while longer, chatting with Stefan.

  I took this opportunity to visit Felicie in the kitchen and ask her if she had found any other signs or curses. She hadn't, but I knew it was only a question of time before Suzanne took aim at Maman or me.

  ✽✽✽

  Later that evening, I heard loud voices coming from Maman's room. I tiptoed down the hall and pressed my ear to the door.

  "I'll never understand how you could hate me so much that you would allow Brigitte to die?" Auntie yelled.

  "I don't hate you, Lucinda, and I didn't want Brigitte to die."

  "Don't make excuses now. We both know you could have done something, tried something to save her."

  "I could have done nothing, Lucinda, because I have no power."

  "Powerless? You had all the power, and you threw it away. You could have at least tried to save my child, tried something. You've never helped me the way a sister should - the way I would help you. You have hated me ever since you helped me with Suzanne. You blame me for everything. That's why you didn't lift a finger to help Brigitte. You wanted her to die - to get even with me, didn't you?"

  "Get even with you for what, Lucinda?"

  "You know what I'm talking about!" she screamed.

  I didn't understand why Maman didn't defend herself. She allowed Auntie to go on and on with her rant.

  "I never had the power you had," Auntie said. "God knows I would have given anything for it. He wasted it on you, and you gave away your power to make peace with God? Has God rewarded you with peace? No. He rewarded you with a nothing life in that backwoods town. He rewarded you by making you content with so little. Was that part of the bargain? What about your husband? Are you at peace now that God has taken him from you?"

  "You are a cold one, Lucinda," Maman finally responded.

  "Yes. I am. Life has made me cold. Death has made me cold. Losing my daughter has made me cold. And most of all, having you for a sister has turned my blood to ice. And what about Gabrielle?" Auntie sneered. "Have you even told her about her birthright?"

  Maman snapped back at her, "And, what business is it of yours?"

  "Don't look so surprised. I recognized the mark over her ear the night of the ball, but I know you will never allow her to cultivate her power. You think it will break your so-called bargain with God, a God who punishes an innocent child for the sins of a parent. What good will her power do her or anyone else? I'd have been better off making a pact with the devil himself all those years ago than making one with you."

  As Auntie left the room, Maman shouted, "It's easy to blame me, Lucinda, for what you brought on yourself." I had never heard Maman raise her voice to anyone.

  Auntie rushed by me, but I didn't pretend to be passing by. I wanted to confront her about what I had heard. I stood there, unashamed of my eavesdropping. I expected her to challenge me, but she walked right past me, denying me the opportunity to take up Maman's battle.

  For some inexplicable reason, rather than go to comfort Maman, I went to my room. I didn't want to talk about her past or about the Grimoire or about anything else. Something changed in me, and something changed in her, too. She didn't need me, and I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and my memories of our old life in Buras. I missed that life. I missed the way we were. I missed Popá more than ever.

  It took a long time to drift off to sleep. But, that night, I had the dream, the dream about Popá, the dream that signaled I could go on with my training. We were home in Buras, in the yard, and he was giving me a piggy-back ride. I could smell the oranges on him. He laughed so hard he dropped from exhaustion. Maman laughed at him. His eyes were so happy. We were so happy.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The Kiss

  I was eager to tell Miss Marie and Julian. I planned to visit both of them after breakfast but, as I got ready to leave, Stefan knocked on my bedroom door.

  "May I come in for a minute?"

  He parked himself in the chair in the corner, stretched out, and crossed his legs at his ankles.

  I sat on the bed trying hard to maintain my composure and waited for him to speak.

  "Much as this might shock you, Gabbie, I’m worried about Lucinda."

  "That doesn't shock me. After her outburst yesterday, I felt a little sorry for her."

  "So did I," Stefan continued.

  "In all the time I've known her, she's never lost control like that. That's not her way."

  "What's her way?"

  "She camouflages her feelings until she figures out a way to get back at the target of her ire. And, crazy as it sounds, now she's mad at Brigitte for leaving her and mad at e
veryone else because we're alive. That's how I see it, anyway. She's looking for someone to take the brunt of her grief and anger. I thought it would be Uncle Phonse, but now I'm not sure who she will settle on. I'm steering clear of her for a while. You should, too. Anyway, my headaches are a lot better. I'm returning to school for the final weeks of the term."

  "That's a sudden decision, isn't it?"

  "I've been considering it for a while. Yesterday, when I spent some time with your Maman, she convinced me to get away from this house for a while."

  I wondered if Maman thought I spent too much time with him and if this was her attempt to separate us. I tried to hide my disappointment.

  As he got up to leave, he noticed my cloak on the bed.

  "It looks like you're on your way out."

  "I'm on my way to Julian's. He's been so glum recently."

  "And, you weren't going to ask me to come? Why not?"

  "I wasn't sure you'd want to be part of the conversation. It's about Brigitte. And, it's about his Maman. I think Brigitte's death reminds him of his Maman's death."

  "Why would he link the two?"

  "Their deaths are so similar. His Maman died of a sudden illness. Doctors found no cause for her illness either. Neither one of them should have died. They're similar in that respect, aren't they?"

  "I never looked at it like that, but you're right. I'm glad you're here for Julian... that you and Julian are getting closer."

  My heart sank at his words. If he cared for me at all, that's the last thing he would want.

  "Julian and I have grown closer, but he is just a good friend.”

  "Your feelings don't run deeper?"

  Before I answered, he walked over to my bed and sat next to me. Blood rushed to my face. I felt flush.

  "No, we're just friends."

  "Julian’s a good guy, and I can tell he likes you," he continued.

  I got annoyed.

  "I just want us to stay friends. That's all."

  "Well, that's excellent news for me." He confused me.

  "It is?"

  "Yes. I would be very jealous if you wanted him to be more than a friend."

  "You would?"

  "I would."

  He took my hand and kissed it before continuing.

  "Gabbie, if I don't tell you how much I'm in love with you, I'll explode. I've tried to hide it, but it's no use."

  “From the moment we first reconnected that day in the kitchen, something in me started to change. I felt a connection I've never felt before. I didn't understand what was happening to me, so I kept my distance. Honestly, it scared and excited me at the same time."

  “Scared you?”

  “Yes. I've had no real connections with anyone in my life for a very long time, except with Phonse.”

  “I can see how that would be frightening.”

  “What about Emilie?”

  “I do like Emilie, and the truth is we would have made a good couple. But I could never have the same connection with her that I have with you.”

  I wanted to jump up and down on the bed shouting out to everyone, "He loves me! He loves me! He loves me!"

  His lips touched mine and my breathing quickened. When his tongue pried open my mouth, my heart pounded so loudly, I was sure he heard it. After several intense moments, I pulled away.

  "I'm sorry, Gabbie. I didn't mean to upset you. I've wanted to do that for a long time, but I wasn't sure about your feelings for Julian.”

  "I'm anything but upset, Stefan."

  "Really?"

  "Maybe a little surprised. That's all. You caught me off guard."

  We both laughed. Then he told me all the things he liked about me, like the way I looked, how I took care of Maman, my patience with Felicie, and my kindness to Brigitte.

  Whatever Maman said to him must have made him realize how much he cared for me.

  "What do you like about me?" His voice challenged me.

  "Simple question. Hard to put into words." I laughed.

  "I love that you don't treat me like a child, that you listen to me, that you've always been kind to me and sort of my defender on my first visit here." I paused and then added, “That your looks aren't too bad either."

  We both laughed again.

  "Good. Mutual admiration is a splendid start," he added, nodding his head in approval. "That, and my heart keeps telling me I must have you."

  "Will you write?" I asked. He was quiet for a moment.

  "Do you think we should let everyone know about us?"

  "No, you're right. If you started writing me now, that might raise eyebrows."

  "Easy solution. I'll write to Julian and enclose my letters to you inside his. You don't mind if Julian knows, do you?"

  "No. In fact, I don't think that will surprise him at all."

  "Will you tell him when you see him later?" he asked.

  "Of course."

  I misled him with my answer. I wanted to delay telling Julian for now. I didn't want him to tease me or gloat. The change in my relationship with Stefan would change my relationship with Julian. I didn't want that to happen yet.

  "OK. That's settled. I'd better get to packing. If I don't see you before I leave, remember this."

  He pulled me close to him, and we kissed one more time.

  When he left, I realized his kiss had changed me. I had feelings I’d never had before. It surprised me and pushed me beyond a dream of him. I’d crossed a boundary, and things would never be the same. His kiss gave me hope.

  ✽✽✽

  When I arrived at Miss Marie's a short time later, she was sitting on her porch filling velvet gris-gris bags. The colors of the bags depended on their purpose, and they contained unique combinations of her special powders, herbs, magical stones, roots, and sacred prayers. People kept them in their pockets or wore them around their necks to keep the bad things away or let the good things in. She did much of her work in secret, but she made gris-gris bags to sell at the market.

  She barely noticed me when I stepped onto the porch.

  "So, you've come to give me some good news, eh?" she said without looking up.

  "It worked! I dreamed about Popá last night. That was the sign from God I wanted."

  "So, you think we can pick up where we left off, do you?"

  "Can't we?"

  "Not that easy. Have you made amends to those you harmed yet?" I dreaded this question.

  "I haven't figured out how to do that yet. I'm hoping I'll be able to do something when my powers are stronger."

  She led me to the altar.

  "You got to be purified again to clean the blemish on your soul. I have a special anointing oil for that." Then she quoted the Bible.

  Take thou also unto thee principal spices, of pure myrrh and of sweet cinnamon and of sweet calamus and of cassia and of oil olive and thou shalt make it an oil of holy ointment, an ointment compound after the art of the apothecary: it shall be a holy anointing oil.

  Exodus 30 verses 23-29

  She annoyed me. I needed to learn as much as possible, as fast as I could. Suzanne wanted to harm Maman, but I knew better than argue with Miss Marie. She sensed my impatience.

  "You got a problem? If so, we can stop right now." I apologized, and she continued.

  "You've got to be holy. You've got to be pure. You've got to be prepared to take on the Devil himself." Now, she scared me.

  I spent the better part of that afternoon rubbed down with oil, surrounded by candles, inhaling incense, reviewing what I had learned, and repeating my oath to do no harm. After that, she sent me home saying we had done enough for the day. She also said she had to gather some special preparations for the next step.

  ✽✽✽

  On my way home, I stopped by Julian's. He was still at school when I arrived, so Grann took me to the kitchen where she was making beignets for Julian. It was one of his favorite afternoon snacks.

  “We weren’t expecting you today. Is everything alright.”

  I love
d how Grann took an interest in me.

  “Grann, you make me feel so special. I never knew my grandparents, but I imagine they would make me feel special, too. At least most of them would.”

  “You’re hard not to love. I hope you think of me as your Grann, too.”

  “I’m glad you said that because I already do.”

  Julian arrived home a little later. We sat down to gobble down some of the beignets. Then, he asked me about Auntie I told him she was losing her grip on reality.

  "That serves her right. She's evil and dangerous, and we have to stop her." A few minutes later, he asked. "Do you think she is really losing it or just faking it to get sympathy?"

  "If she's faking it, she's doing a convincing job."

  Julian continued.

  "I don't want her to go mad until we are certain she killed my Maman. I don't trust her. Besides, I'm convinced she wants to hurt you, too."

  As an afterthought, he added, "Do you think Suzanne is the reason for Lucinda's strange behavior?"

  "If she is, then I'm glad that Suzanne's targeting Lucinda instead of Maman. That gives me time to become more powerful. I came by to tell you, as of today, Miss Marie is teaching me again. I have a lot more to learn, but I told her about the danger we're in. I hope she'll speed things up as much as she can."

  "I hope so. Otherwise, I swear I'll take things into my own hands." Julian's eyes flashed a deadly combination of hate and resolve.

  "You are my best friend, Julian. I will do everything in my power to find out the truth. I want us to work together."

  His eyes reverted to the kind eyes I trusted.

  "I know that, Gabbie. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your plans."

  ✽✽✽

  Over the next few weeks, things didn't change much at home. Miss Marie inundated me with knowledge about working roots, ritual ceremonies, candle magic, lodestones, calling spirits, purification and protection techniques, and how to turn ordinary objects into magic. I learned about two kinds of evil. One kind is against God. The other is against people. Most people do evil against other people. She made me learn scripture about the most serious sins people do against each other.