by Nikki Marsh
But first, I had to come up with a plan to cement our relationship before I told him the truth, the whole truth about me and what Maman had done.
I knew I risked losing him, but I had to take a chance and hope for the best.
Chapter Eighteen
Another Secret
A lot of things had changed, but our Friday night dinners hadn’t. Felicie still prepared our favorite dishes, except for Brigitte's, which Auntie ordered her not to include.
"It's good you joined us, Julian," Uncle greeted him at the table.
"It's great to be here with you again, Sir. I miss the glad times we shared when Maman and Popá were alive."
"Me, too. Lots of wonderful memories."
"I'm happy you and Gabbie are friends." A grin spread across Uncle's face.
"Not as happy as I am." Julian smiled at me and continued.
"I'll always be grateful that you were there to help my Maman and me so much after my father died."
This gave me an opportunity to chime in.
"I'm sorry I never got to know your Maman, Julian. If she was anything like Grann, I would love her."
I waited a few minutes, but Lucinda didn't take the bait. I continued the conversation.
"Were her pralines as good as Grann's?"
"Better," he said, smiling the brightest smile I'd ever seen on him.
"I'm sorry I never got to meet your Maman," Suzanne said. "I've heard she was one of the most beautiful women in all New Orleans. Is that true, Phonse?"
"Oh, yes. Everyone thought so."
Auntie squirmed in her chair, her eyes fixated on Uncle.
"How sad such a beautiful and good woman died... and so suddenly," Auntie purred like a kitten. "I counted her a good friend."
"I'll never forget how good you were to her, Miss Lucinda, during her illness." Julian's words aggravated her more.
"So sweet to say that, Julian. But, I'm not sure it's true."
"No, it's true," Julian assured her. "She looked forward to your treats."
Auntie took the bait, glaring at Julian, raising her voice.
"A good friend wouldn't have occupied so much of my husband's time, would she? A good friend would not have insinuated herself into my family life, would she? A good friend would have spent more time with me and less with my husband."
Before she went off on a full rant, Uncle held her hand, an attempt to calm her down. He knew better than to contradict her or defend Blanche in her state of mind. He made himself the target instead.
"Lucinda, the blame is mine. Her husband would have done the same for me if the situation had been reversed. Perhaps, I spent too much time, but it was out of devotion to my friend. Our family always comes first for me." With that, he changed the conversation.
Before dinner ended, Julian excused himself on the pretense of retrieving a book he had lent to Stefan. I volunteered to help him find it. We became invisible and went into the parlor before the others arrived. We didn't have to wait long before everyone assembled.
Suzanne mentioned she planned to buy me a special dress for my impending re-christening. She knew this would grate on Auntie's already frayed nerves.
"Why all this fuss over a second christening, especially since you aren't devout. Just have the priest sprinkle the water and be done with it, for God's sake."
"We want to make this occasion special for Gabbie," Phonse said.
Auntie seethed, and everyone braced for another outburst.
"She has already been baptized, so what's the point?" Auntie turned to Uncle. "I see what you two are up to. You're using this as an excuse to spend more time together. Just like you did with Blanche."
"Don't be absurd," Suzanne chided. "Get control of yourself."
Uncle stepped in. "What's wrong with you, Lucinda? Why are you making everyone miserable?"
"Because I am miserable. Don't you understand? Warm blood doesn't run through my veins anymore. My brain is on fire. My insides are rotting. Can't you smell my decaying flesh?"
"Lucinda, you've got to stop this." Uncle pounded the arms of his chair.
"How can I stop what's happening to my body? Can you stop your heart from beating, your eyes from seeing, your ears from hearing? No. I tell you, I am dead inside. And, you're glad of it... glad to be rid of me." She sobbed.
"Lucinda, please come upstairs with me to rest now," Uncle Phonse pleaded.
"Rest? I haven't had a good night's sleep since Brigitte died. I won't ever rest again, at least not until I am in my grave."
"Get out of my sight, both of you!" she screamed.
Uncle Phonse and Suzanne left the room to Lucinda and Beau. After a few minutes, she composed herself.
"Beau. You believe me, don't you?"
Beau weighed his words.
"Believe you are dying inside? You believe it, and that makes it true for you. I believe that."
"You don't believe me?"
"There are different kinds of death... death of the body, death of the soul, and death of a dream."
"You think it’s my soul that is dying?"
Beau looked down at the floor, then raised his head and looked her straight in the eye.
"Yes, I do."
I couldn't believe that he didn't fear her wrath. He waited for her reaction.
"But, it's my body that is dying. Every day more and more. How do you explain that?"
"I can't. I only wish I could help you through this, Lucinda."
"You can help."
"How?"
"Help me with Aimee. She's driving me mad. She's hell bent on destroying me. It's bad enough she didn't lift a finger to save Brigitte. Now, she is planning to get rid of me, too. I know she is."
She covered her face with her hands and broke down. Beau didn't comfort her. He waited until she stopped.
"All that talk about Blanche tonight. My sister wanted to unnerve me by bringing up that horrible woman's death."
"Lucinda, if what you said about Phonse's relationship with her is true, I understand why you resented her." Beau knew how to appease her.
"Oh, it was true all right. That's why I stopped her."
"Stopped her? How?" He looked her directly in the eye.
"Don't you worry about how. Just know I stopped her from ruining my family."
Beau leaned forward and raised a brow.
"If you stopped her the way I think you did, then you are in grave danger - not from others but from yourself."
Beau believed in the duality of man. Good and Evil. Right and Wrong, the battle that rages inside all of us. He tried to reason with Auntie.
"Why would your sister taunt you about Blanche's death? She never met the woman. She didn't live in New Orleans then. Unless you had confided in her, how would she know you had a problem with Blanche? Think about it for a minute. You're imagining things. You're becoming your own worst enemy."
"It's all so innocent to you, eh? I tell you, Blanche wanted to destroy my family, and my sister wants to take up where she left off."
"Lucinda, Phonse still loves you. But you hurt him every day, hurt him because you lost Brigitte. He lost a child, too. Can't you see that? If you keep this up, you'll be the one who drives him away, not your sister?"
"Just because you're blind doesn't mean it's not happening. It is. I begged her to move out of this house, but she refused. She wants to stay here to torment me, and I can't make her leave. That's why I need your help, old friend, like you helped me before. I need you to help me get rid of Aimee and Gabbie."
"Even if what you say about your sister is true, why would you want to harm Gabbie? What has she done?'
"It's not what she has done. It's who she is."
"Who is she?"
"Never mind. Just know she can be a threat to both of us. That's why I need your help."
"If your sister won't move, there's a simple solution. You could move to an even finer house and be rid of her. Why stay in this house where memories torment you every day?"
"I w
ould never leave the house where my poor Brigitte was born, the house where she lived and laughed so much, the house where she died, my old friend. Every room reminds me of something she did or said. Leaving this house means leaving her."
Beau thought before he spoke, careful to choose the right words.
"You must get some help, Lucinda. Surely, Popá Jean can restore balance."
"That's the first place I go when I leave this house of sorrows. He has tried every hoodoo remedy known to him. Nothing works. I'm still dying inside little by little every day. You must help me. You must!" she insisted.
When Beau stood his ground, Auntie became more agitated.
"Don't you forget that I still have the power to destroy you if you turn against me."
"Lucinda, why would I ever turn against you? I only want you to stop destroying yourself."
"Don't worry about me destroying myself. Worry about me destroying you. Worry about what will happen to you if you refuse to help me," she screamed at Beau as she got up and walked out.
When Lucinda and Beau left the room, we made ourselves visible again.
"It took all my strength not to scream 'Murderer’ as loud as I could." Julian’s eyes bulged from the sockets. "I want to hurt her, destroy her." Tears welled up in his eyes, and he shook with anger.
"I have to get out of here now. Let's go for a walk."
I reached out for his hand, and we headed for the park.
✽✽✽
Julian took me to a special place in a secluded section of the park. He and his Maman had discovered it years ago on one of their adventures. One of the oldest oaks in all New Orleans lived there. It stood majestically watching over those who gathered under its protection. They named it Goliath. Its long, low intertwined branches spread out and almost touched the ground. Each branch invited us to become a part of it. We used the lowest as a chair.
"My Maman's death never made sense to me. It took a long time for me to accept it. Lucinda cut her life short and took her away from me! I won't rest until I make her pay for what she did. Pay with her life. Will you help me do that?"
I wanted to say yes, but how could I?
"There's such a thing as righteous anger, Julian. What Lucinda did to your Maman justifies your anger and hatred. You have a right to exact your vengeance on her. I will help you in any way I can, but how could I ever justify using my power to kill a person?"
"An evil person," he clarified. "Do you have to justify killing an evil person?"
"What I'm saying is I promised never to use my power for evil."
"Couldn't you use it to defend yourself and others from evil?"
"I could, and I wouldn't hesitate to do that."
"Well, Lucinda is evil, and you and your Maman are in danger," Julian pointed out.
I agreed but added that Suzanne posed the graver threat to us right now.
"I am prepared to defend Maman, you, and me." I explained. "If I must destroy her in the process, I will."
"When?"
"After I have the Grimoire. I have to wait for the 3rd Spiritual Guide. I'll go to Miss Marie tomorrow to let her know I'm ready."
After a few minutes, Julian changed the subject. He reached in his pocket and gave me two more letters from Stefan that he had held back. This infuriated me, but I held my emotions in check.
"Why did you hold back Stefan's letters?"
"Do you really want to know?"
"I do."
"I have two reasons. First, I'm surprised he suddenly has such deep feelings for you.”
I wanted to tell him it wasn't so sudden, but he continued.
"Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying he doesn't love you. I'm saying I'm surprised. You’d think he’d tell his best friend if he had fallen in love with someone, wouldn’t you?"
"And, the other reason?"
"You'll spend a lot more time with Stefan when he comes home. The more time you spend with him, the less time the three of us will spend together."
What Julian said was true. Our relationship would change.
"I promise nothing will change between us. You know more about me than anyone, including Stefan. I trust you more than anyone."
"I guess that's something," he said.
"It's a lot."
“I hope I’m wrong about Stefan. I hope it’s just my jealousy, Gabbie. For your sake.
Julian’s doubt about Stefan rattled me and gave me something to think about. What if Stefan doesn’t love me as much as I love him? Could I handle it? Could I handle it if he hated me once he learned the truth? The one thing I was sure about is that I had to find out.
Chapter Nineteen
Treading Lightly
That evening, I read all Stefan's letters, analyzing every word, searching for some indication he would love me no matter what. I wanted to tell Stefan everything, but I feared he would end our romance and our friendship once he found out Maman's part in killing Suzanne. I had time to figure out what to do. His return was still a few days away.
I went to bed early, but a frigid wind awoke me a little later. I now took any unnatural occurrence as a sign of an impending supernatural event. Such occurrences didn't frighten me anymore. I didn't close my eyes, hold my breath, or pull the covers over my head. I waited.
A young girl in a long pink gown and satin slippers stood in my doorway. Her angelic face and translucent skin reminded me of a pearl. Her fiery red hair hid beneath a white lace cap.
"I am Airmed, the Faerie Goddess of Healing and Magic, from the Tuatha de Danann ancient people."
She glided over to my bed, took my hand, and my shivering stopped.
"My people rank above humans, but below angels in the eyes of God. Civilizations throughout Europe and beyond embrace our ancient knowledge. It is the basis for their secret formulas and Grimoires. I will show you the sacred portals where the boundaries of the living and the dead intersect, places where the Veil between the two worlds is thinnest."
She placed her hand on my forehead, and I drifted into a trance. Breathtaking vistas replaced my earthly vision. Sacred portals hid along the paths of mighty rivers, waterfalls, and meandering streams. Majestic trees camouflaged entrances to the other world. Caves abandoned by ancient people hid in plain sight. Within them, streams brimmed with magical water, plants grew mystic flowers, and enchanted creatures, invisible to the naked eye, guarded the entrances. Only the most powerful could see them. Other tunnels to the other world exist is trees, mountains.
"In times of birth or death, cracks in the Veil open," Airmed explained.
When she said this, I remembered I had already experienced this.
"Yes. My dead Granpopá first called out to me at the cemetery."
After completing my whirlwind tour, I had my last vision. Popá appeared, but this time he didn't give me a piggyback ride. He came as a ferocious warrior dressed for battle replete with armor, spear, sword, and ax. Though he didn't utter a word, I understood that he wanted me to battle for the soul of Maman. His gaze empowered and strengthened me more than any of the rituals I had learned. He kissed my hand and vanished.
I wished my vision of him had lasted longer. His presence, strength, and belief in me changed me from that scared girl who survived the storm into a brave young lady willing to battle for those I love. I accepted myself for who I was, and I understood my purpose in life. I must be the one to keep the bad things away.
When Airmed dropped my hand, she gave me a magical stone. She told me a portal would soon open for me, and that I must hold the stone in my hand and willingly enter it.
"You mean I have to wait longer?" She smiled and then vanished.
I didn't want to wait, but I had no choice. After she vanished, I relived my visions until I fell into the most peaceful sleep I had had in a long time.
✽✽✽
The next morning, I met with Miss Marie and told her about Airmed.
"Your Spiritual Guides have empowered you with their knowledge of natural and supernatural elements.
They have set you on the path to righteousness. You must master the knowledge and use it only for good. But first you must right the wrong done to others."
"I understand, but I don't know how."
"Your knowledge connects you to a powerful web of Spiritual Artists, and you have access to the Spiritual Marketplace."
"The Spiritual Marketplace?"
"It's not for everyone. Only for the most powerful once they complete their journeys. You must show your initiation mark to enter. Once there, you will learn how to right the wrong from one of your spiritual brethren. In the Spiritual Marketplace, you will find everything you need for any ritual. Your brethren will welcome you as a new member and guide you to what you need."
"You mean the invisible mark on my hand, the one the snake made?"
"Yes."
Going to the Spiritual Marketplace excited me. I wanted to go right away.
"Where is it? How do I get there?"
"Go to the Old Market, past the open stalls. Look for a little store, 'Belle's Bird Shop'. Everyone who works there is a Spiritual Artist. Ask for Mme. Belle."
"Hold out your hand so Belle can see the mark. She will show you how to get to the Spiritual Marketplace."
She added, “Felicie can walk with you to the market, but she can't go to the Marketplace."
I thought about it for a minute.
"I'm not afraid to go alone. What should I tell Mme. Belle?"
"Tell her about the wrong you have done. Tell her you must go back to the moment you cast that harmful spell."
I found my way through the crowded streets, past the aromatic coffee and food stands. I maneuvered my way past boisterous stalls, full of people buying and selling their wares. Felicie brought me here many times on our excursions. Our family owned a lot of it, and I loved coming here. It was the soul of the city, and people sold anything you could imagine. Why shouldn't it have a Spiritual Marketplace as well?
I almost overlooked 'Belles Bird Shop'. A sliver of a building sandwiched between two larger ones, it receded into the background. No outdoor sign announced its presence. Only a colorful parrot squawking its name stood at its entrance.