Hearts of Darkness: A Valentine's Day Bully Romance Collection

by Joanna Mazurkiewicz

  I stand up to get away from him. His penetrative gaze is too much to handle. I move to stand behind the couch—any distance will do. I still can’t believe this is the sweet boy I fell in love with. Though he did seem complicated under the surface, I don’t think I ever expected this.

  “You’re not the same, you know. The boy I fell in love with was tender and kind—a hopeless romantic.”

  His shoulders rise and fall, and his head dips down. I wish I was on the other side of him so that I could get a look at his face. Is he having a moment of weakness? Whatever it is, it doesn’t last long. He sits back up with his head facing forward, but, he doesn’t respond to me. Maybe that’s the only answer I’ll get.

  “He’s gone, Elody.” He turns to look at me with anger and sadness pouring through his eyes. Then he stands and walks around the sofa until he standing only a few feet from me.

  “You don’t get to talk about the boy you loved...the one you made promises to in the middle of the night. You made him hopeful that with you he’d found eternal love and that he’d never be alone.” A small eerie smile escapes his lips and I brace for what’s next.

  “I finally get it.” He stares at me.

  “Get what?” I dare ask.

  “Why a teenager should never date an adult. The whole age thing does matter. Teens are fickle and emotional and all over the place, and adults are rational and have a better sense of who they are. The two don’t mix well.” His smile is still there, but I don’t trust it. He isn’t playing nice or fair. He doesn’t do that anymore.

  I breathe deeply, let it out slowly, and wait.

  “The only difference is that you’re the teenager in our little story. You’re the fickle one who doesn’t know what she wants. You never did.” His words are like a slap across my face.

  I stand up to my fullest height. “How dare you!” I spit. “First of all, I was only twenty-four. I was barely an adult, and you were this mysterious and beautiful boy who seemed a hell of a lot older than sixteen. I did love you, August.” I still do. “But we had a doomed relationship because of our age difference, and I’ll never stop being sorry that we met at the wrong time.” I continue the lie that has twisted my soul into knots.

  He stalks forward, jagged and rough breaths flow from him.

  “Then you should have waited. I was about to turn eighteen when you left. Our love wasn’t strong enough to wait three more months? If you would have talked to me and told me how important it was to you, I would have kept it platonic until I was of age.” He stares down at me with vitriol in his eyes and I gasp. My chest aches knowing that I did this too him...to us.

  “I wasn’t good enough for you. You never fucking loved me.” He glares at me with flared nostrils, and there is nothing that I can say to quench his hot hate for me except the truth, and I can’t give him that.

  “Get the fuck out of my house,” he orders.

  I blink up at him, but he doesn’t repeat the words. All I get is more hate.

  On shaky legs, I cross the room to grab my coat and bag. My eyes are blurry with tears, causing the room to have a kaleidoscope effect. A lump grows to mammoth size in my throat as I fight back a sob. If I can just get out the door.

  “I don’t want to see you again until the gala, and after that, I can’t wait until you’re out of my life.”

  The sob breaks through. I’m standing with the door handle paused mid-turn in my shaky hand.

  “I’m leaving on the fourteenth.” I don’t look back, I know I broke him, and he’s doing a damn good job of doing the same to me. “I won’t be able to attend.”

  “Have your ass in a beautiful, heart-stopping gown or so help me—”

  I whip my head around. “Or what, August?” It’s my turn to stare daggers, and I do. I throw martial arts glares at him. “Are you going to cause me physical harm if I don’t? Will you bully me into doing your will no matter what the cost is to me? Do you hate me so much that you need this?”

  His face falls for a beat and then the man I love returns. “Do you want to push me to my limits? It’s one night that you owe me, and after that, you’re done.”

  Tears slip from my eyes and I’m so exhausted that I almost tell him the truth just so I can be free of his hate. August is hellbent on taking all that I have without allowing me to save a tiny sliver for myself. I pull the door open. “Fine,” I say and walk into the cold.

  AUGUST

  2003

  EVER SINCE WE ALMOST got busted by my father, I can feel Elody trying to pull away from me. Before, there was nothing keeping us apart, but now she’s too scared. I keep promising her that if she can just wait three months, I’ll be eighteen, and we’ll be in the clear. Then we can let the world in on our little secret. I’ve talked to her about renting a place near the University campus in Rhode Island. My undergrad and master’s degree should only take four years combined, thanks to the fact that I’ve already almost gotten my associate’s. She has never come out and said yes, though. It’s almost like she doesn’t believe in us.

  Now I’m scared she’s going to drop me, and that has come between us, too.

  She agreed to meet me in the home theater, and I plan to get her back any way I can.

  “What movie are we watching?” she asks.

  “I thought we’d watch something from the year we met,” I say, then hop up from the theater seat and grab the DVD boxes.

  “You mean a whole year ago in 2002?”

  “Yep,” I say.

  She laughs at me when I hold them up and her laugh melts me inside.

  “Serving Sara.”

  “What! No Tom Cruise? I’m shocked,” she teases.

  I take my seat next to her. “I have been told that I resemble a young Tom.”

  “Someone lied,” she giggles.

  I shoot her a dirty look, and she holds her hands up. “I was going to say you’re way fucking hotter, but that face you made just hit me in all of my tickle spots.”

  All I can do is laugh with her. Her spirit is infectious.

  I press the play button and dim the lights from the remote.

  The movie starts up without previews to fast forward through. Elody leans her head on my shoulder.

  “You don’t have to bore yourself with chick flicks. I’m sure there were plenty of action movies released last year.”

  I inhale the strawberry and flower scent from Elody’s hair. I will never get tired of that smell.

  “Have you not learned yet that I serve at your pleasure? I will watch water freeze on the screen if that’s what you like.”

  “I feel the same about you, though.”

  “Okay, fine, next week you can pick—all action if you want.”

  “Deal,” she says.

  We sit in silence as we watch the actors rush against the clock to outsmart the bad guy, laughing at the funny parts. I slip off the seat and get on my knees in front of Elody. Then I spread her legs open. We look at each other.

  “Take off your clothes,” I say, and she doesn’t hesitate.

  “You brought me in here to take advantage of me, I see.”

  I stare at her perfect bare body and I shiver. She’s all mine. I nod my head and bury my face between her legs. My plan is to consume her.

  Her moans and fast breathing keep me going until she screams my name and tells me how much she loves me.

  My heart feels like it’s growing in my chest.

  The lights come on suddenly and the room becomes bright. Did one of us hit the remote?

  “What is the hell is going on in here?” My father’s voice makes us both jump. From where he’s standing, he can see everything—Elody’s naked body, her legs spread apart, and my head between them. We both scramble, and my main objective is to cover her body. I use my body to block her while she dresses.

  She jumps out of her seat and runs out of the basement. I call out after her. The way my father’s face looks, I don’t blame her for wanting to escape. I have major damage control to do with m
y father.

  I stare at the door long after she is gone.

  “I already know what you’re going to say,” I start.

  “Have you lost your mind?” he yells.

  I cross my arms and stare back at him.

  “What if I would have been your mother? What if she’d been the one to walk in on you screwing the help? I knew this would go too far.”

  “She’s not ‘the help.’ Her name is Elody, and if you didn’t want this to happen, why’d you hire her? You could have stuck with the old biddies.”

  He lets out a heavy breath. “My first time was with the nanny, too, but they were always temporary. Women like her, that’s what they are—temporary. They’re to practice with, not to settle down with. She said she loves you. Why would she say that?”

  “Because we love each other. We’ve been alone in this house for over a year. We spend all of our time together, we’re in love, and when I graduate next month she and I are moving. I’m going to cancel my dorm at Brown, and we’re getting an apartment.”

  He stands taller. “On who’s dime? Your mother and I will never allow it or fund it.”.

  I shake my head. “It’s a good thing I have my own money growing in an account that is all mine. Ask Mother about it.”

  He looks as though I’ve slapped him. The nerve of me not to depending on him. He opens his mouth to ask, but I interrupt him.

  “I’ve invested money from odd jobs and nearly all of the allowance I’ve been given since I can remember. Clyde’s father is a genius, but you already know that. I just talked with him and wrote down what he said. So you see, Dad, I can do whatever or whoever the fuck I want.”

  I leave him with his mouth hanging open and run to find Elody. I knock on her door. I try to calm myself down.

  “I need a minute, August,” she says through the door.

  “Can I at least look at you to see that you’re okay?” I ask.

  She doesn’t open the door. My heart breaks a little, knowing how embarrassed and scared she probably is.

  “Let’s just talk tomorrow,” she says. “Give your father a chance to cool off. He’d freak if he saw us together. If he leaves, come and let me know, and we can talk then.”

  I sigh and rap my knuckles on the door. “Okay. You promise we’ll talk?”

  “Promise.”

  ELODY

  2003

  I COULDN’T OPEN THE door for him, no matter how badly I might have wanted to. He would die if he saw that I was packing.

  His voice sounded so fragile and young. He’s afraid like me, I guess. If I’d let him in, though, I don’t think I’d be able to leave. I could never look at his face while I break his heart.

  There was no need to wait for Mr. Mitchell to say the words. I ran out of the theater to my room and started throwing my stuff into my bags immediately. What choice do I have?

  He saw me naked. He saw...everything. I sob.

  There’s no way he’ll let me stay. Or worse, he might call the police. Shit.

  I rush to the window, forgetting for a moment that my only view is of the backyard and August’s room. I’m expecting blue and white and red flashing lights. They’ll come to arrest me for statutory rape. It won’t matter that he’ll be legal in a few months.

  He wasn’t a few months from being legal when we started. My inner voice speaks the truth.

  I dare to glance up to August’s room. It’s dark. His father probably sent him away, or more likely locked him away—anything to keep us apart. He wouldn’t be so harsh if I would have given myself to him when he made advances at me. Probably in his mind it’s better that I take up with a man twenty-five years my senior than eight years my junior. It could be argued that August isn’t a man, but he just might be more of a man than his father.

  Even I know that Mr. Mitchell wields too much power and influence, so I keep packing my belongings. I don’t have much.

  The door flies open, and there he is. He didn’t bother knocking. He just let himself in with his key. He closes the door behind him.

  “Do you know how much worse this could have been if my wife would have seen the two of you? You’d be in handcuffs by now,” he spits.

  My shoulders sag.

  “What were you thinking? Did you think you’d score some little rich boy then milk him for all his money?”

  I gasp. “I never meant to fall in love with your son,” I reply. “I’m sorry that I allowed this to happen, and I have no excuse, but I’m not after his money.”

  He walks over to me. “Go sell your lies somewhere else. You’re nothing but a tramp and a schemer. What else could a teenage boy give a grown woman?” He sneers at me.

  I continue to pack my things. I’ll do anything to get away from him.

  “It’s sad that you don’t see how amazing August is, but I guess you don’t know him as well as I do. He’s smart, funny, generous, and loving. You aren’t lucky enough to see that side of him.”

  “Ha! You think you’re so fucking smart?” He gets in my face. If August returns to his room, he can see what’s happening, but I’m very close to the door. I zip up my bags, then turn to face Mr. Mitchell and my fate.

  “You want to talk about lucky? You’ll be lucky to have a job as a nanny, you moocher,” he says. “If you so much as call, text, or send a message to my son in any way, I will make it so you will never spend another moment in the presence of another child, unless it crawls out of that little pussy of yours.”

  I pull my shoulders back and hold my head high. This man has called me cheap, opportunistic, a whore, and threatened my livelihood. While it was cruel and uncalled for, I deserved it. I had a job to do, and I screwed up and fell in love with his child. There’s nothing I can really say in my defense.

  “I will need a ride into town, please,” I say without making direct eye contact. Tears roll down my cheeks, and I do nothing to stop them.

  He stares down at me with a mean smile.

  “Can I at least tell him goodbye?” I ask and one look at him tells me I shouldn’t have asked. Shit. I need to tell August goodbye. There is no way I can trust this man to handle this situation in any kind way. He’s probably excited to hurt his own flesh and blood. Sadistic bastard. “I hope you’re honest with your son and tell him that you sent me away. I don’t want to leave him.”

  He picks up my bags and begins to walk out of the room. Then, he stops short and rushes back to me. He’s standing so close that I can feel the heat coming off of his body.

  “If you say a word on the way to the front door, you’ll be the sorriest bitch on this earth. Leave my son alone. I’ll drive you into town myself.”

  I flip the light switch off, and he reaches around me and flips it back on.

  “Leave the light on. I need him to think you’re still here. I’ll deal with the drama after you’re long gone. Don’t worry about August. He’s young, he’ll bounce back fast.”

  I follow him down the long halls. The house is quiet. I wonder where August is. I gaze up the stairs and fight the sob that’s threatening to escape my throat.

  The car ride into town is long and silent. I choke back my sobs and try to wipe the tears in secret. After too much time passes, he pulls up to the bus station.

  “Take this.” He hands me a piece of paper. When I stare down at it, I realize it's a check. I stare at the amount and whip my head around to look at him. His evil smile looks even creepier with the light from the bus station casting a glow upon it.

  “I don’t want your money.” I push the check toward him.

  He stares down at it. “That’s a hundred thousand dollars.”

  “You can’t buy me,” I say through clenched teeth.

  He scoffs indignantly. “Then you’re a stupid gold digger.” He laughs.

  I climb out of the car and drop the check in the seat.

  “Fuck you,” I say and slam the door.

  I really screwed everything up. My heart aches for the goodbye I don’t get and at the thought of
not seeing August again.

  AUGUST

  2010

  ELODY refused to allow me to pick her up for the gala and I regret conceding. What if she doesn’t come? I don’t want to have to go get her, but I will. Tonight is our last night together and my last chance to make her stay.

  “What’s up, man?” Clyde wraps me in a bro hug. “Would you look at this place?”

  I roll my eyes at him. “My folks outdo themselves every year.”

  He pulls a gorgeous woman over. She has soft brown skin, her hair in a sleek updo, and she’s wearing a stunning lavender gown that hugs her curves. I nod and smile in greeting.

  “August, this is Genevieve.” He turns to her. “This is my best friend, August; his parents are the ones throwing this soiree.”

  Her smile is wide and kind. She extends her hand. I take it and kiss the back of her hand. “Nice to meet you,” I say.

  Clyde looks around for my date, and his eyebrows raise. “Where’s the nanny?”

  I glare at him. “Don’t fucking call her that.” I look around. “She’ll be here.” Please be here.

  His face softens. He looks with me, and my eyes find her. Her hair is in loose waves down her back, and her gown is blood red. It makes her waist look tiny and accentuates her hips. My eyes flutter and I have to close my hanging mouth. She walks over to us.

  “You made it,” I breathe.

  Her eyes indicate that she isn’t here by choice, which amuses me. I wrap my arm low on her waist and pull her close. She exudes my favorite scent of strawberries and flowers.

  “Elody, this is Clyde. You met once years ago at the Aspen house. This is his date, Genevieve.”

  They exchange greetings, then we excuse ourselves.

  “I didn’t think you were going to make it,” I say and grab champagne from a waiter’s tray. I hand one to her.

  “Thank you,” she says, looking around.

  “Spectacular, isn’t it?” I ask, following her gaze from the dining area with white, red, and pink decor to the stage with lights and glass to the dance floor.