One Summer Night

by Gerri Hill

  By ten, Jo was pulling into Harry’s driveway, where she parked in her usual spot and turned off the engine. Kelly said nothing as Jo stared at his house for a long moment before getting out.

  They went inside, and Jo left Kelly in the living room while she went into Harry's bedroom to find his suit. As she walked in, she was overwhelmed with memories of him. His bed was still unmade. She swallowed back tears as she touched his pillow and smoothed the quilt that Beth had stitched. His dresser was cluttered with his personal things, his watch, change from his pockets, his keys. Her eyes flew around the room, picturing him there, going about his everyday business. She couldn't believe that he would never again walk in here, never again call her Jo-Jo.

  She sat down on his bed and cried, her head in her hands. She should have seen him more. She should have been with him that morning.

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  Kelly heard her crying and walked into the room.

  "Jo?"

  "I should have been here. I could have helped him," she cried.

  "Don't do this," Kelly said and sat down beside her. She put her arm around Jo and pulled her close. "You're not to blame, honey," she said gently. "He had a long, healthy life.

  He was happy out here, and now, as you said, he's gone to join his Beth."

  "I know," she whispered. "You're right.” She sat up and wiped her tears. "I'm sorry."

  "You don't have to tell me you're sorry," Kelly said quietly.

  "I'm okay now.” Jo stood.

  "Do you want me to find a suit?"

  "No. I'll do it," she said and walked to his closet.

  He only owned one suit. The one he had worn to Beth's funeral. It was only fitting that he should wear it to his own, as well. She opened his closet door and silently moved his clothes aside, finding the suit tucked back in the corner. She took it out, brushed the lint from it and hung it on the doorknob. She found his best dress shirt and then sorted through the few ties that he owned to find the dark red one, the one he had worn for Beth.

  She stood staring into his closet for a long time, seeing the clothes that were so familiar to her. All his things, what was she going to do with them? She couldn't very well throw them out, as if they meant nothing to her. Then again, she couldn't let the house stay as it was, either. She suddenly realized that going through his house was going to be the hardest thing of all . . . so many memories.

  Kelly gently touched her shoulder, bringing her back around. "Show me the boat.”

  Jo nodded. "Yeah. Let's go outside."

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  The boathouse was immaculate. All the gear put up just right, fishing rods hanging on the wall next to the ski equipment. As much as they liked to fish, they also enjoyed cruising the lake. So, the old bass boat had given way to a larger, more comfortable ski boat. It hung in the lift, out of the water. Jo walked over, turned the switch and watched it lower slowly into the lake. She didn’t even remember putting it up the other night.

  "Do you like the water?" Jo asked. It seemed important that she should.

  Kelly nodded. "I love to swim. I just learned to ski last summer though," she added, with a wink. "I bet you're pretty good."

  "I used to be. I only went a few times this summer.

  Mostly, we would go fishing or just cruising around."

  "That's fun, too," Kelly said.

  The boat bobbed gently on the water, and they climbed in. It started with one turn of the key as Harry had always kept the motor in excellent condition. Jo reversed the rudder and they slowly backed out of the slip. It was a warm day, but the wind was cool over the water. Kelly was silent, sitting opposite her in the front. Jo drove slowly around the lake, passing coves that she and Harry had fished in, boulders in the water where they had laid in the sun after swimming, and the cove with the fallen trees, a favorite bass spot. Jo pointed them all out to Kelly, who nodded and smiled at her.

  Jo was remembering Harry, saying good-bye to him and the times they had shared over the years.

  They passed the mansions that had sprung up in the last ten years, and Jo told her how Harry had always complained about them.

  "I like your grandfather's place better," Kelly said. "It's more of a home. These are just displays of wealth, trying to prove that you have more money than your neighbor."

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  "Yes, exactly."

  "It's pretty out here," Kelly said later. "I've never been on Lake Travis on a boat."

  "No? Where have you been?" she asked.

  "Just Hippie Hollow," she grinned.

  "Oh, yes. I remember," Jo said and nearly blushed. She remembered the time she had gone by it with Harry, looking for Kelly swimming nude.

  Jo turned the boat around and headed back. It was very different being here without Harry, but she was glad Kelly was with her.

  Back at the house, Jo went into the kitchen, thinking she should clean out Harry's refrigerator, but when she opened it and saw his things there, saw the food she had brought for their lunch that day, she just didn't have the heart. She shut it quickly.

  Kelly was standing in the doorway, watching her. "All that can wait," she said gently.

  "Yes. It'll have to be done, but I can't just yet."

  "I'll help, when the time comes. So will Betsy and Janis."

  Jo nodded and walked over to her. "You've been so nice to me these last few days. I don't know what I would have done without you."

  Kelly reached for her, pulling her close. Jo moved into her arms and let herself be held.

  "I'm ready to go now, I guess," she said quietly.

  "Are you sure?"

  "Yes. You probably have things you need to do today."

  "No. I'm all yours," Kelly replied. "Unless you'd rather be alone?"

  "I don't know.” She pulled away. She was becoming too dependent on Kelly. She wanted to ask her to stay with her, to stay the night again, but she didn't. Maybe she did need to be alone, to have time to deal with his death.

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  Kelly seemed to read her thoughts. "We need to take his suit. You can call me later if you need anything," she offered.

  Jo smiled her thanks and nodded.

  Kelly took his suit into the funeral home while Jo waited in her car. She just couldn't go in. Kelly understood.

  "Let me take it. I'll be right back."

  Later, when they returned to Jo’s house, Kelly took Jo in her arms and kissed her gently. Jo held her tightly, silently thanking her for all she had done.

  "Please call if you need me," Kelly reminded her before leaving.

  "I will," Jo promised, though she had no intention of calling. Tonight, she needed to be alone.

  She let the answering machine pick up the five or six calls that came in. Most were from friends, checking on her.

  Others were from colleagues at school offering their sympathy. She appreciated their thoughts but was in no mood to talk to any of them. She took a beer, sat on her deck and stared at the creek as it rushed by. Two male cardinals sat at her feeder and fought over the few remaining seeds. She watched them and smiled.

  Harry was gone, yet everything remained the same. The creek still flowed, the birds still scolded her for not keeping the feeder filled, the leaves fell like they did every year at this time. Life went on.

  When it was too dark to see, she went in. Thinking of the food that her friends had brought she realized she was hungry and thankful for their kindness. She made a plate and stood by the microwave, watching the dish turn round and round as it heated. She poured a glass of wine, took her plate into the living room, sat in the silence and ate.

  Later, she slowly turned the pages of a photo album, watching her life go by. She cried some, but not much. The photos were all taken at happy times in her life. There were 164

  many of Beth and Harry together, and she could see how much in love they were, even at the end. Harry had missed Beth terribly and now they were together again, she thought.

  Harry would be happy. As much as she had tried, she had
never been able to replace Beth in his life. Jo knew she would miss him so very much, but she would be okay. Life went on.

  She closed the book and was surprised at how much better she felt. Putting on some soft music, she poured another glass of wine, then went to the phone to call Betsy.

  She had left two messages, and Jo knew she was worried about her.

  "I'm okay, really," Jo assured her.

  "Is Kelly still there?"

  "No. She left this afternoon."

  "You know, if you need to come over, you can."

  "I know, but I need to be alone. Thank you for worrying, though."

  "What are friends for?"

  "You're the best," Jo said.

  "We'll see you tomorrow morning, then. Do you want us to pick you up?"

  "No. I'll see you there," and hung up.

  She thought about calling Kelly, but didn't. She didn't want to have the temptation of asking her to come over and sleep with her. That could too easily become a habit, she knew.

  She finished her glass of wine, then got ready for bed.

  Reaching over to where Kelly had slept the last couple of nights, she gently rubbed the sheets. Kelly had come into her life so unexpectedly. Jo was afraid of the feelings that she had for Kelly. She wouldn't allow herself to fall in love with her, of course, but she did like her an awful lot. Where their relationship would go, she didn't know, but for now she just wanted to enjoy the time they had.

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  Chapter Twenty-Three The funeral service was held in the small chapel in the funeral home. She couldn't remember a time Harry had ever been to church, other than Beth's funeral. As a child, Jo had gone every Sunday with her mother, but when she had moved in with her grandparents, only Beth had gone. She and Harry would sneak off for a morning of fishing or boat riding.

  "We'll have our own church service out on the lake, Jo-Jo."

  She smiled as she remembered him saying that on many a Sunday morning as Beth stood by and shook her head at them.

  "It wouldn't hurt you a bit to go to church," she told him.

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  "Why press my luck?" Harry responded. "I wouldn't want Him to think that I was eager to join Him up there.”

  Various baskets and arrangements were a spot of cheeri-ness to an otherwise colorless day. She was surprised at the numerous flowers and plants that had been sent. Harry would find humor with that. He knew her luck with potted plants. Her eyes avoided the casket at the front and instead, she walked around, reading the cards from her friends. Susan and Arnie had sent a beautiful fall arrangement, and there were some from names she did not recognize. Harry's friends from the Senior Center, she supposed.

  Before ten, people started arriving and she was surprised at how dressed up everyone was. Kelly walked in with Betsy and Janis, and Jo's eyes flew to hers.

  Kelly smiled and walked up to her. Jo took in her dark gray suit with a colorful silk blouse underneath.

  "Hi.”

  "Look at you. A skirt?" Jo teased.

  "Yeah.” Kelly shrugged. "I had to dig deep to find it."

  "You look lovely," Jo said softly.

  Kelly shrugged again and looked embarrassed, as most people do when they're not comfortable with what they're wearing. Jo doubted Kelly ever wore dresses.

  "Hi, honey," Betsy said and hugged her. "You doing okay?"

  Jo nodded. "The casket is beautiful," she said, although she had scarcely looked at it. She had decided on a closed casket. She didn't want her last memory of Harry to be lying in a casket. It was bad enough she pictured him so vividly in the hospital bed, so pale against the white sheets.

  Betsy smiled and squeezed her shoulder, then went to sit down. Jo greeted the others as they came in, mostly her friends and a few of Harry’s from the Senior Center. Of course, when you have no relatives and you're over 80, most 167

  of your old friends are already gone. She was surprised Kerry and Shea came. She didn't really know them that well. They were really Betsy and Janis's friends but she was touched that they had bothered. She told them as much. Kay was there, and she hugged Jo and kissed her cheek. Sharon and Mattie also came. Deb gave her a hug when she walked in and Jo thanked her. Susan and Arnie were there, too, and Jo wondered how many of the department’s classes had been cancelled over the last few days.

  Of the folks from the Senior Center, Jo knew only three.

  They were Harry's fishing buddies, whom she had seen at his house on several occasions. The others apparently had known him or had just come out of respect for one of their fallen members. She was glad when Mr. Daughtery, the youngest of the three at 75, asked her if he could speak at the service. She told him she thought Harry would have liked that.

  The service was short, and when Mr. Daughtery stood up, he spoke for only a few minutes, telling them about Harry, his love of fishing and the lake, and especially his love for his "Jo-Jo.” Fresh tears fell down Johanna's cheek, and Betsy put her arm around her and patted her shoulder. Jo smiled her thanks at Mr. Daughtery when he finished.

  Nearly everyone walked to the cemetery, and it was only then, as they were lowering Harry into the ground, next to his beloved Beth, that Jo broke down and cried. Susan and Arnie were beside her. Arnie held her for a moment, offering his support.

  Kelly walked up to her, gentle eyes looking into Jo's. Jo reached for her and held her tightly, needing her strength.

  Afterward, they walked back together, and Jo thanked everyone for coming, accepting their hugs and sympathy with a smile. She had good friends.

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  She walked with Kelly to her Explorer, thanking her again for all she had done. "We've got our last softball game tonight. It's an early game. I thought you might want to get out of the house," she suggested.

  "Yes. I think I might. I don't really want to spend the evening alone."

  "Good. We were going to go out afterwards and get a burger or something. Maybe you'll be hungry by then."

  "Okay."

  "I've got to get to class," she said. "I'll pick you up about five."

  Betsy and Janis were the only ones still there. Betsy insisted that Jo come home with them.

  "No. I'll be fine."

  "You don't need to be alone, honey," Janis said.

  "Actually, I was thinking that a nap sounded pretty good.

  I'm going with Kelly to the game tonight, by the way.”

  "You are? Are you sure?" Betsy asked.

  "Yes. I'd like to be around my friends tonight, I think."

  "Okay. You sure you don't want to come home with us?"

  "Thank you, but no. You two have both done so much for me this week," she said as she hugged them both.

  On the way home, she was surprised at how good she felt. It was over with, this formality. She had said good-bye to Harry yesterday and last night, and now he was at rest.

  She took time for lunch, heating more casserole. She threw out what was left, planning to wash the dishes and return them at the game tonight. Afterward, she sat on her deck with her plate and her iced tea. The birdseed was all gone and before she started eating, she refilled the feeder.

  Soon the male cardinals were back, and she watched them while she ate.

  Later, she laid down, not really sleepy, just tired. She was surprised when she woke up at four. She showered, got 169

  dressed and sat down to wait for Kelly. It was so quiet. She realized she was thinking of everything except Harry. That wasn’t necessarily good, but at this point, she was just looking forward to going out and being around people, where the conversation wasn't on death.

  Kelly knocked on her door at exactly five o'clock.

  Standing there in her softball uniform, she smiled at Jo.

  "You look better," she said, when Jo opened the door.

  "Did I look bad before?"

  "You looked tired.”

  "I took a nap today," Jo smiled.

  Kelly nodded and smiled warmly back. "Ready?"

  Jo nodded and locked the
door behind her.

  On the way to South Austin, Kelly reached over and took her hand. "I'm glad you're going tonight.”

  Jo's fingers entwined with hers. "Me, too."

  The fields were not yet crowded, as it was the first game.

  Kelly took a small cooler from the back. "I brought you a lawn chair. And I packed you a couple of beers. I thought you might want one."

  "Thanks. I think I will," she said quietly.

  "Jo? Are you okay?"

  Jo nodded and smiled. "Yes," she said, a little too brightly. She was suddenly very tired.

  "Maybe this wasn't a good idea. I just thought that you should get out."

  "I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

  "I can't help but worry about you," she said and met Jo's eyes. "I. . . .”

  "I'm fine, really," Jo said, cutting her off. The look in Kelly’s eyes scared her, as it always did.

  Kelly nodded, and they walked to the field. Betsy and Janis were already there, and Jo put the lawn chair next to them as Kelly left to warm up.

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  She took a beer from the cooler and sat down, smiling at Betsy and Janis. They both had concerned looks on their faces, and she smiled again.

  "Really, I’m ok" she said. And she was. Her emotions felt a little raw, that’s all.

  "I'm glad you came," Betsy said. "You don't need to sit home by yourself."

  "Where are we going for dinner?" she asked.

  "I think Gordie's Sports Pub," Janis said. "At least, that's what Deb said."

  Jo nodded and her glance found Kelly as she was throwing with Kay. She had missed watching her play softball. She was so confident, so strong. Jo watched her and smiled.

  "How are you two getting along?" Betsy asked, following her gaze.

  Jo looked away quickly. "Okay."

  When the team took the field, Jo's eyes followed Kelly to third base, watching as Kelly smoothed the dirt with her foot, a ritual that never failed to amuse Jo. Her eyes followed Kelly’s every movement, and she saw Kelly watching her. Jo silently scolded Kelly for not paying attention to the game, but when a ball was hit sharply to third, Kelly grabbed it easily and threw a strike to first. Jo clapped, and Kelly grinned at her.

  Kelly hit two home runs, both to deep center field and Jo stood and cheered as she rounded third, stepping on home plate for the second time. Kelly met her eyes and winked as she passed by, and Jo grinned back.