One Summer Night

by Gerri Hill

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  "You're driving me crazy," Kelly gasped.

  Jo knew that she was and she savored the control, her tongue stroking Kelly slowly, tasting her sweetness, tormenting Kelly to an even higher peak. She would never tire of this, Jo thought, and her lips again settled over Kelly, sucking her into her mouth, causing Kelly to groan loudly.

  "Please," Kelly begged, and Jo gave way to her pleadings as her tongue moved quickly over Kelly, bringing her to the brink of orgasm and then over the edge, not stopping until Kelly cried out with her release.

  Kelly pressed Jo's mouth to her, her hands holding her hair, her hips rising and meeting her, her body shuddering, until she slowly laid back down, her arms limp by her sides.

  Jo drew away, then came back and kissed her there gently, then laid down beside her, one leg stretched over her.

  "I can't move," Kelly groaned.

  Jo smiled and caressed her face, her closed eyes, her swollen lips.

  They lay on their sides, facing each other, the words whisper-soft between them.

  "Each time with you is more than the time before," Kelly murmured. "I didn't think it was possible."

  Jo said nothing, just looked at her, touched her. She was afraid to speak, afraid of what she was feeling.

  Kelly opened her eyes and looked at Jo.

  "What is it? What are you thinking?"

  Jo shook her head slowly, entwining her legs with Kelly’s. Her hands wouldn’t leave Kelly’s warm skin. They moved over Kelly’s stomach, her breasts, her neck, Jo’s eyes following her hands every movement, as if they had a will of their own.

  "Does it frighten you, what I feel for you?" Kelly whispered.

  "Don't.”

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  Jo closed her eyes tightly, and her hands stilled.

  "Not saying it doesn't make it any less true," Kelly said gently.

  "I'm not ready for that," Jo admitted.

  Kelly sighed wearily, and Jo found her eyes, catching just a glimpse of hurt there. She didn’t know what to say.

  "I'm sorry, Jo.”

  Jo shook her head slowly. “There’s nothing for you to be sorry for. It’s me,” she said, tapping her chest lightly.

  Kelly pushed Jo down on the bed and moved up beside her, touching her face lightly with her fingertips.

  “You're such a beautiful lover. I hope I bring you as much pleasure as you do me," Kelly murmured into her ear.

  "Like no one ever has before," Jo said and held her. "It scares me."

  Kelly smiled in the darkness and touched her lips lightly.

  "I won't hurt you," she whispered so quietly that Jo wasn't sure she heard the words. "I just want to love you."

  Jo closed her eyes and let out a soft sigh as Kelly began to do just that. Her mouth nuzzled Jo’s neck and her hand cupped her breast, her thumb raking over Jo’s nipple. Jo thrilled in the feel of Kelly’s mouth and lips on her, and she relaxed, letting the lovemaking take over her senses. Her nipples were taut and ready for Kelly’s touch, and Kelly’s tongue caressed them lightly before her mouth covered each peak in turn. Jo brushed her fingers through Kelly's hair and down her back, her breath coming quickly.

  Kelly lay on top of her, shoving her leg between Jo’s thighs. Jo arched into it, wrapping one leg around her. Kelly again moved to her mouth and kissed her with such sweetness that Jo thought she would cry. Her hands cupped Kelly's face and she held her mouth to her, their lips brushing lightly against each other. Oh, she could get so used to this, this slow, sweet lovemaking.

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  Kelly leaned on her elbow, her hand cradling Jo's head.

  "You're so beautiful," she whispered into her ear. Her hand moved down Jo's body, caressing her. Her leg pressed hard against Jo, and Jo opened up further, rising to meet her. Her mouth settled over Jo’s breast again and her fingers slid between her own leg and Jo's body. She touched her, so wet and ready, and Kelly slid her fingers into her, deep inside her, and Jo cried out and held her close.

  But Kelly pulled away.

  “Roll over,” she said urgently.

  Jo turned onto her stomach, trembling. Then Kelly’s warm body covered her, hands and mouth tempting, teasing.

  With Jo’s face buried in the pillow, she closed her eyes, arms stretched out in front of her, thrilling to the pleasure of Kelly’s touch.

  She felt her breathing quicken as Kelly’s hands moved over her hips, dipping between her thighs, then back out again. Her hips rose off the bed when Kelly’s hands lightly brushed the backs of her thighs, and her legs parted instinctively.

  Kelly slipped one hand under her, lifting her. Jo’s breathing was labored now as she waited for Kelly to come to her.

  She felt Kelly’s other hand move between her thighs, and she moaned loudly, anticipating her touch. Then Kelly’s fingers were there, first two, then three, and she plunged into her, hard.

  Jo’s hips jerked again, but Kelly held her, one hand moving under her, stroking her, as her other hand glided in and out of her wetness. Jo’s fists clutched at the bed sheet, her hips writhing as she tried to match Kelly’s rhythm.

  But it was too much. Jo was gasping now, being carried away, and Kelly’s fingers moved faster still, harder. She couldn’t take it another second, and Jo’s body exploded.

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  Behind her closed lids, she saw stars, and she screamed out, a loud, primitive scream, her clenched fists pulling the bed sheet lose as her body collapsed on the bed.

  Kelly lay down beside her, her fingers still inside. She moved them once and Jo groaned.

  “I can’t move,” Jo said hoarsely. “Don’t you dare.”

  She heard Kelly’s low chuckle as she slowly pulled her fingers away, and Jo managed to turn onto her side.

  “I see I’ve rendered you speechless,” Kelly teased.

  “You’ve rendered me useless.”

  Kelly laughed and kissed Jo hard on the mouth.

  “I don’t think so,” Kelly whispered.

  Her hand lightly nudged Jo’s shoulder, pushing her onto her back. Jo’s eyes were closed, her breathing still ragged as Kelly slid slowly down her body, her mouth kissing her urgently as she moved. Jo’s legs were still limp on the bed.

  She knew she didn’t have the energy to respond. But still, she wanted to feel Kelly’s mouth on her, her tongue on her, inside of her. She couldn't wait any longer. She placed her hands on Kelly's shoulders and guided her between her legs.

  "Please, I need you so much," she begged.

  Her legs opened wide as Kelly settled between them and Jo gasped when Kelly’s mouth covered her. She felt Kelly’s tongue slide over her, and she was lost. She lay back, her hands gripping the sheets, pulling at them as she felt Kelly's tongue plunge inside of her.

  "Oh, dear God," she breathed. Her body was spent, should be spent, but still it opened to Kelly, responded to her lovemaking. She closed her eyes tightly, letting her mind go blank, thinking of nothing except this woman and her mouth on her.

  Kelly stroked her, her mouth devouring her, and Jo thought she would surely die from pleasure. Her hips arched and her heels dug into the bed as the first wave of orgasm 186

  hit her. She cried out, then groaned softly as her body exploded under Kelly's mouth.

  Jo pulled Kelly close to her and held her tightly as she felt tears well in her eyes. Kelly made love to her in such a way that left no doubt of her feelings. Jo stubbornly denied the feelings that were gripping at her own heart. She didn't want this woman to love her. She wanted their relationship to remain as it was: physical, sexual, but not emotional. She couldn't handle that. She would not let Kelly into her heart.

  She could not.

  They didn't speak, and Jo was thankful. Kelly didn't mention her tears, she simply kissed them away and held Jo beside her, brushing her hair softly until Jo fell asleep in her arms.

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  Chapter Twenty-Four Jo walked into her office and stared at the stacks of papers littering her desk. It would take
days to get it cleaned off. Morning classes had been a chore and she wondered if maybe she had come back too soon. Susan had told her to take the entire week off, but she didn't know what she would do with herself, alone. She wanted to get back into the routine of her life and put the last week behind her.

  Kelly had left early that morning to go to her apartment to shower and dress. They did not speak about the night before and she knew what Kelly was thinking, that Jo was going to send her away again. Jo could see it in her eyes, and she hated herself for it. She had kissed Kelly and held 188

  her and told her everything was fine. It was, really. She wouldn't stop seeing Kelly. She couldn't deny herself that.

  It was just too much, too soon, was all.

  She was busy sorting papers on her desk when Kelly walked in later. She glanced at the clock, surprised that it was after one. Kelly held a sack up and smiled.

  "Tuna on wheat, extra mustard," she said and laid the bag on top of the papers Jo was recording. "You need to eat."

  Jo smiled at her. "What makes you think I haven't already had lunch?"

  "You never have lunch unless I make you," she said. "I gotta run.”

  She turned back at the door. "Don't forget to eat it, now."

  "Thank you. I won't."

  Kelly left, and Jo munched on the sandwich while she worked. She was hungry. She hadn't taken time for breakfast, and Kelly was right. She rarely ate lunch.

  It was a very long day, and Jo had to force herself to keep her last class until the scheduled time. She wrapped things up with ten minutes to spare and told them to have a nice afternoon, then hurried to her office. The mounds of papers on her desk were haunting her, and she stayed until nearly six, trying to put her office in order.

  Kelly had not come by. Jo found her office closed and locked. She should be thankful. She needed time alone. After the night they had spent together, she needed some time to separate herself from Kelly. Her emotions felt all tangled, as they always did when she spent a night in Kelly’s arms.

  She was having a hard enough time just getting through the day with bits and pieces of their night together flashing in front of her, and at the most awkward times, too. But once at home, she was restless. She opened her refrigerator, 189

  searching for something for dinner. There was nothing. She opened her pantry, grimacing at the two cans of soup that confronted her.

  "Yuck," she said, closing the door. She needed to go shopping, she realized. She stood in the kitchen, indecisive.

  Just last week, she would have been able to call Harry and go to his place for dinner. She closed her eyes and stopped her thoughts right there. It would do her no good to think about that.

  She could always call Betsy and Janis and see what they were doing for dinner, maybe invite herself over. She'd done it before. She knew she was deliberately omitting Kelly from her choices. She could call her. She knew that Kelly would meet her anywhere for dinner. But then, afterward, she would ask if Jo wanted her to come home with her, and Jo didn't want to be in that situation. She knew if she was, she would ask Kelly to stay again and they couldn't keep doing that. She needed some time away from Kelly, away from the feelings Kelly stirred in her heart.

  She walked over to the phone and punched out Betsy's number.

  "Jo! We were just talking about you," Janis said.

  "I hope it was good," she smiled.

  "How are you?" Janis asked.

  "Hungry. What are you doing for dinner?"

  Janis laughed. "We were just arguing over who was going to cook and Betsy decided on ordering pizza. Do you want to come over?"

  "Yes, I’d love to. Sure you don't mind?"

  "Don't be silly. Come over.”

  Twenty minutes later, Jo was knocking on their door.

  Betsy opened it and greeted her with a hug.

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  "How was it today?"

  "Long," Jo said. "But okay."

  "Good. Come on in.”

  "Hi, Jo," Janis called from the kitchen. She brought out a beer for Johanna. "Where's Kelly?"

  "I don't know," Jo said.

  "Is everything okay?" Betsy asked.

  "I guess."

  "I thought last night that you two. . . I mean, you looked like. . . Oh, hell, you know what I mean," she finished weakly.

  Jo smiled. "Yes. I know what you mean. I saw her at lunch, but we didn't really get a chance to talk. I haven't seen her since."

  "She didn't stay with you last night?"

  Jo blushed and looked away. "Yes," she said quietly. "She stayed with me."

  "But?"

  "But, nothing.”

  "Oh, Jo, I know you better than that. What's wrong?"

  "Betsy, I don't know," she admitted. "I like her a lot. I'm just scared, I guess."

  "She's not Nancy," Betsy stated.

  "I know. But I'm just not ready for a relationship right now."

  "You must know how it is with her," Janis said.

  Jo looked at her and nodded. "Yes, I know."

  "She told you?"

  Jo shook her head. "She doesn't need to tell me," she said quietly.

  Jo thought back to last night and the way that they had made love. No, Kelly didn't need to say the words. She had tried, but Jo had stopped her.

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  "I wish you would give her a chance," Betsy said.

  "I just can't. I can’t go through that again, Betsy."

  "So you spend the rest of your life alone, just so you don't take a chance on getting hurt? Jo, nothing's guaran-teed. Not for any of us. Who's to say that one day Janis won't meet someone who sweeps her off her feet and she up and leaves me?"

  "Me?" Janis protested.

  "Well, I know there's no one else out there for me,"

  Betsy said and smiled lovingly at her.

  Janis smiled at her. "Thanks," she said softly.

  Jo watched them and was jealous. She wanted what they had and she realized suddenly that she had never had that with Nancy. She thought they had been happy together, but really, had they ever had the close intimacy that Betsy and Janis seemed to share? They had lived two separate lives.

  They had their own friends and they rarely mixed the two.

  Jo had frequently gone out with Betsy and Janis without Nancy, and Nancy had seldom included Jo when she was out with her friends. How strange it all seemed now. Most of Nancy's friends were from the corporate world, from where she worked. Jo didn't have much in common with them and was secretly pleased that she didn't have to endure too many outings with them. Of course, Nancy had met someone from that world, someone who she had much more in common with than Johanna. And it was easy for her to leave, it seemed. She showed no remorse when she packed her things and moved to New York. Jo was the one left broken. It wasn't so much that Nancy had left her, she realized now. It was that she had felt cheated all those years. It was like they had lived a lie for a long time, and she was saddened to think that if Nancy had not left her, they would still be living 192

  together, pretending their relationship was perfect. It saddened her also to think that she would not have met Kelly.

  "What I'm trying to say," Betsy started, but Jo cut her off.

  "I know what you're trying to say," Jo said. "I just have to work this out in my own way, in my own time."

  Betsy nodded. "Okay. Enough of that.”

  The doorbell rang, and Jo was spared. Pizza had arrived.

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  Chapter Twenty-Five Jo had missed Kelly terribly the night before, and she missed her again at lunch today. She looked for her at twelve-thirty and again at one, but she never came. Jo finally picked up the phone and called her office, but she wasn't in.

  Her last class was out at noon on Fridays, and Jo assumed she had gone home. She wondered why Kelly was avoiding her.

  She hung up, pushed Kelly from her mind and went to work sorting the papers her assistant had graded for her.

  After her last class at three, she went to her office, then
decided against staying and locked up. It was Friday. Most everyone else had already gone for the weekend.

  She met Susan in the hall as she was leaving.

  "Johanna. I've been meaning to come see you the last 194

  two days, but I've had meetings scheduled nonstop, it seems.

  How are you holding up?"

  "I'm doing okay, Susan. Thanks. Thanks for all you’ve done."

  "Arnie and I were wondering what you were planning for Thanksgiving?" she asked.

  "I hadn't really thought about it," she admitted. Jo had always spent the holidays with Harry and Beth, then later, with only Harry. He cooked enough for eight or ten people, even when it was only the two of them. They then would spend the next week eating turkey and wouldn't crave it again until the next year. Last year, he had invited Betsy and Janis, and after stuffing themselves, they had sat around watching football the rest of the day.

  "Well, we would love for you to join us. David and Sarah will both be here this year," she said, referring to their two grown children.

  "I appreciate the offer, Susan. I'll let you know," she replied, but she knew she wouldn't go. If she did anything for Thanksgiving, she would spend it with Betsy and Janis.

  Or Kelly, she added.

  "Well, think about it. I know you have friends here that will probably invite you, too, but we would love for you to spend it with our family."

  "Thank you. And thank Arnie for me, too."

  She drove home slowly, not in a hurry to rush the weekend. She would have to go to Harry's house tomorrow and start cleaning and sorting through his things. The reminder of Thanksgiving brought on a rush of sadness. It would be hard not having Harry with her through the holidays this year. Especially Christmas, she thought.

  Her house was quiet and empty. She changed into sweatpants and cursed herself for not going grocery shopping. She had two beers in the refrigerator. She opened one 195

  and sat in the living room, watching a light rain fall on the deck. Winter was showing itself this evening, and they were expecting their first frost of the season. She looked at her potted plants dripping in the cold rain and got up to bring them inside. These three were the only ones still alive after the hot summer. It was probably best that Arnie had not given her any more plants.