Day 21

by Kass Morgan

“I need you to be brave,” he said, his voice finally cracking. “You’re going to be fine, you just need to stay strong. Your eighteenth birthday isn’t far off; they’ll retry you then, and you’ll be pardoned. You have to.” His voice lowered to a whisper. “I know you’ll be okay, my brave girl.”

  “Dad,” Clarke sobbed. “I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I never meant—”

  “Time’s up,” one of the guards said brusquely.

  “No!” Clarke dug her nails into her father’s shoulder, refusing to let go. “Dad, you can’t, don’t let them, no!”

  He kissed the top of her head. “This isn’t good-bye, sweetheart. Mom and I are going to see you in heaven.”

  Heaven? Clarke thought in confusion. Unbidden, the old song lyric popped into her head. Heaven is a place on Earth. How could she be thinking of something so ridiculous at a time like this?

  He took her hands and clutched them in his. He was still wearing his watch—they hadn’t confiscated it yet. Should she ask for it? It’d be her last chance to have something to remember him by. But the thought of her father unclasping it with his shaking hands, leaving his wrist oddly bare as they strapped him down to the table, was too much for Clarke to endure.

  A guard grabbed her arm. “Come on.”

  Clarke cried out as if she’d been burned. “No,” she yelled, trying to wrench herself free. “Get off of me!”

  Her father’s eyes filled with tears. “I love you, Clarke.”

  Clarke planted her feet into the floor, but it was no use. They were dragging her backward. “I love you, Dad,” she said in between sobs. “I love you.”

  Clarke was holding the watch so tightly, her palm felt numb. She kept her eyes on the second hand, but of course it didn’t move; the watch had stopped working years ago. When Clarke asked her father why he wore it, he’d told her, “Its job isn’t to tell time anymore. It’s to remind us of our past, of all the things that are important to us. It may no longer tick, but it carries the memory of every life it recorded. It beats with the echo of a million heartbeats.” Now it was holding her father’s.

  “Are you okay?” Sasha asked, placing her hand on Clarke’s shoulder.

  She flinched and spun around. “Where did you get this?” she asked. She’d gone so deep inside the memory, she was surprised to hear her own voice echoing in the cave.

  “In the woods,” Sasha said. “Like the rest of this stuff. One of the Colonists must’ve lost it in the crash. I would’ve given it back, but by the time I found it, they were all gone.”

  Could it be? Could Clarke’s father have been sent to Earth instead of executed that day? What about her mother? She knew it was crazy, but she couldn’t think of any other reason the watch would have ended up here. By rights it should’ve been given to her after her father’s death, but since she was in Confinement herself, it would’ve been archived with the other historical artifacts, part of the collective heritage of the ship. And yet it wasn’t back up on the Colony, locked in a dusty archive box. It was here, on Earth.

  She thought of her father’s good-bye, how he’d told Clarke that he would see her in heaven. She’d always thought that was a strange thing to say—he’d never been one to really believe in the afterlife. Was it actually a message? Maybe he’d wanted her to think of the song lyrics, and make the connection, since surely he couldn’t have said such a thing in front of the guards?

  It took all of Clarke’s control not to spill everything to Sasha. She was desperate to share her theory, to have someone confirm that she wasn’t being crazy. For all she knew, Sasha had met her parents.

  But as Sasha looked at her with an expression of confusion and pity, Clarke simply stammered, “This watch… looks familiar.” Hope swelled up within her, filling the cracks in her broken heart, and she knew she couldn’t bear to have anything sweep it away. Not yet. Not until she found out definitively what had happened to the Colonists.

  The more she thought about it, the more it seemed possible. Maybe her parents were part of that first expedition. They’d been sentenced to die, but Wells’s father could have taken pity on them. He couldn’t spare their lives publicly, but what if he was able to put them on the secret initial mission to Earth? After all, who better to send than the people who had been researching the planet their whole lives?

  “Sasha,” Clarke said, using all her strength to keep her voice steady. “I need to see your father. There are things I have to know about the first expedition.”

  Sasha stared at her, her face suddenly inscrutable. Finally, she nodded. “I suppose it’s okay. But I can’t take you all the way to the compound. You’ll have to wait in the woods while I go find him. They’ll never forgive me if I brought you inside.”

  “That’s fine,” Clarke said. “I understand.”

  “So you want to go right now?”

  Clarke nodded. Her chest was so tightly wound with anxiety, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to breathe for much longer, let alone talk.

  “All right, then. Let’s do it.”

  Clarke followed Sasha out of the cave, and once their eyes adjusted to the sunlight, they set out. Sasha began explaining the route, but Clarke barely heard her. She couldn’t stop running her fingers over the watch’s cold metal as she turned over all that had just happened in her mind.

  She was so distracted that when Sasha stopped short, Clarke walked right into her. “What’s going on? Are we here already?”

  Sasha turned and placed a finger over her lips, urging Clarke to keep quiet. But it was too late. A moment later, five figures came crashing through the trees. Wells, Graham, and three others Clarke had seen with Graham before. They’d been collecting wood to make more spears, and the long, pointed sticks they held seemed more menacing than they had in the clearing.

  “What the hell?” Graham bellowed as one of his minions grabbed Sasha’s arm. His eyes flashed dangerously at Clarke. “Were you helping her escape?”

  “Graham,” Wells shouted, hurrying toward them. “Knock it off.”

  Graham ran toward Clarke and twisted her arm roughly behind her. Two of his friends fanned out behind him, surrounding her. “You’ve really pushed your luck this time, Doctor. You’re coming with us,” Graham snarled.

  Clarke scanned the boys, weighing her options. There was no way she could fight them, and they were blocking her path. “Listen,” she began, trying to think of a way to explain why she had taken Sasha so deep in the woods—but before she had finished the sentence Graham doubled over, letting go of her arm.

  For an instant, Clarke couldn’t figure out what had happened. But then she saw Sasha struggling against the boy who was holding her, and realized she’d kicked Graham to give Clarke the chance to escape. Clarke’s eyes locked on Sasha’s green ones, and Sasha mouthed, Go.

  Clarke gave a small, grateful nod before she took off running, leaving the rest of them behind.

  CHAPTER 19

  Bellamy

  He was packing up again. He’d done it twice before, but each time, something had brought him back. Octavia had disappeared during the fire. Clarke had been bitten by the snake.

  But now he was leaving for good. He’d dealt with Wells’s mind games and Clarke’s treachery for the last time. As he stuffed a few protein packets into his pocket, a new wave of anger rose in his chest at the thought of everything he’d given up to bring Clarke safely back to camp. He’d lost Octavia’s trail, and wasted days waiting for the Earthborn girl to talk. He should’ve left Clark in the woods, letting her limbs swell and her airway close up so that she’d never be able to utter another lie again. She’d tortured Lilly and then had been twisted enough to claim that Lilly had wanted to die.

  There wasn’t much to bring. He had a blanket. His bow. A few water-purifying tablets. He and Octavia would figure the rest out on their own. Before Wells had knocked Bellamy to the ground, the Earthborn girl had whispered, “Four miles northwest. Halfway up the mountain.”

  Bellamy didn’t know what he would find
there—Sasha might have been telling him that the other Earthborns lived on the mountain, or that the rogue group had been spotted near there. Maybe it was a trap. But right now it was all he had, and he wasn’t going to waste any more time.

  Bellamy left without saying good-bye to anyone. Let them think he was heading off to hunt. Wells had disappeared and there was no sign of Clarke, thank god. He didn’t think he’d be able to look at her again. The idea that he’d almost slept with the girl who’d killed Lilly was enough to make him vomit.

  The more distance he put between himself and the camp, the easier it became to breathe. The air smelled different here than it did in the woods closer to the clearing. Perhaps it was the species of trees, or the makeup of the soil, but there was something else too. The scent of leaves and dirt and rain had been mingling for centuries, undisturbed by any humans. It felt cleaner here, purer, a place where no one had ever spoken and no one had ever cried.

  The sun started to set, and even as Bellamy picked up his pace, he knew he’d never make it to the mountain before dark. It’d be better to find a place to camp and then set out again in the morning. It was foolish—and dangerous—to explore unfamiliar terrain at night, especially once he crossed into Earthborn territory.

  In the distance, he heard the faint sound of running water. Bellamy followed it and found himself on the bank of a small stream. It was so narrow, the trees on either side met in some places, creating an arch of green and yellow leaves.

  Bellamy removed his water canister, knelt down, and dipped it into the stream. He shivered slightly as the cold water rushed over his hand. If he were uncomfortable now, what would happen when winter came? There hadn’t been any cold weather gear among their supplies. Either they had burned in the crash landing of the dropship, or more likely, the Council hadn’t expected the hundred to survive long enough to need it.

  Bellamy sat back on the bank, wondering whether it was worth it to use one of the purifying tablets, when he was startled by a flash of movement. As he turned, his eyes settled on a small, reddish, long-haired animal perched on the bank, reaching its snout into the water. Sensing Bellamy’s presence, it whipped its head around to look at him.

  It had white fur around its large dark eyes, and oversize ears that twitched back and forth as it surveyed Bellamy. Drops of water clung to its long whiskers, and despite the animal’s intense expression, it looked more like a little kid with protein paste all over his face than a predator. Bellamy smiled. He’d seen a few different species of animals in the woods, but none that seemed to communicate so plainly. Before he thought better of it, he reached out his hand. “Hey there,” he said.

  The creature’s black nose twitched on the end of its reddish snout, shaking the water droplets from its whiskers. Bellamy expected it to turn and dash away, but to his surprise, it took a few tentative steps forward, its bushy red tail swishing from side to side. “Hey,” Bellamy said again. “It’s okay, I won’t hurt you.” He was pretty sure it was a fox.

  The fox sniffed the air again, then trotted forward and gave Bellamy’s hand a tentative nudge. Bellamy grinned as its damp nose and wet whiskers brushed his skin.

  “Bellamy?”

  He wheeled around at the sound of his name, sending the fox scampering away. Clarke was standing a few meters away with a pack on her shoulder and an expression of surprise on her face. “Oh,” she said as her gaze followed the fleeing fox. “I didn’t mean to scare him.”

  “Are you following me?” Bellamy snapped, rising to his feet. He couldn’t believe she had found him here, just when he was finally putting some distance between himself and camp. When he was finally getting away. “Never mind.” He shook his head. “I don’t even want to know.”

  “I wasn’t following you,” she said quietly, taking a step forward. “I’m going to find the Earthborns.”

  Bellamy stared at her, momentarily stunned. “Why?” he asked finally.

  She paused. There’d been a time when he’d thought he’d been able to read Clarke’s thoughts, to see past the defenses she put up. But he realized now it was all in his head. He’d wanted so badly to have someone on Earth he could trust, to have someone, after Lilly, who he could actually love, but he didn’t know the least bit about her.

  “I… I think my parents were in the first group of Colonists. I need to find out what happened to them.”

  Bellamy stared at her. He certainly hadn’t expected her to say that. But he forced himself to stifle his curiosity. There was no way he was letting Clarke drag him into any more of her insanity.

  “Sasha told me how to get to where she lives. She said it’s less than a day’s walk from here.”

  “Well then, you’d better get moving,” Bellamy snapped.

  He started collecting wood. Without saying a word to Clarke, he arranged the kindling in a pile, grabbed a match from his pack, and lit a small fire. Let her be the one to leave first.

  When he finally looked up, he saw that Clarke was still standing in the same spot. The firelight reflecting in her eyes made her look younger, and more innocent. Underneath his anger, he felt a pang of affection—not for the girl standing in front of him, but for the girl she’d pretended to be. Was that Clarke really in there somewhere? The Clarke who could look so gravely serious one moment and then burst into laughter the next? The girl who found everything on Earth miraculous, and kissed him as if he were the most incredible find of all?

  “You look creepy standing there. Either come down or get going,” he said gruffly.

  Clarke edged toward the fire, dropped her pack, and slowly lowered herself to the ground. A cold wind swept through the trees, and she brought her knees up to her chest and shivered. Just a few days ago, he would’ve wrapped his arms around her, but now, they hung like twin weights against his sides. He wasn’t sure he wanted her to stay. But he didn’t tell her to leave either.

  They spent the next hour watching the dancing flames in silence, listening to the sound of the cracking twigs and the wind echoing above them.

  CHAPTER 20

  Glass

  It was far worse than any nightmare. Even in Glass’s darkest moments, she’d never have imagined trying to shove past her neighbors—the people she had grown up with—in an attempt to secure a spot on the dropship before they did. She passed one of her old tutors, struggling to drag a large bag down the crowded corridor. “Leave it!” Glass had yelled at her as she hurried past. But her words were lost amid the frenzy of shouts, footsteps, and sobs.

  Up ahead, Cora’s father stood in the middle of the corridor, looking desperately from side to side as he scanned the surging crowd for his wife and daughter. He called their names while blinking rapidly, evidently trying to message them on his cornea slip. But his efforts were in vain. The network had shut down, rendering everyone’s devices useless.

  By the time they had made it down the stairs and into the corridor that led to the launch deck, it was so crowded that they almost couldn’t move. Luke did his best to push his way through the people closest to the wall, pulling Glass and Sonja steadily behind him. Glass winced as she knocked against a man clutching something in his arms. He was holding it so carefully, she assumed it was a child, but as she hurried past she realized it was a violin. She wondered if he was an actual musician or just a music lover who thought to grab the relic from its preservation chamber, the one thing he apparently couldn’t leave behind.

  Many of the other people in the crowd weren’t from Phoenix—not that it mattered anymore. They were no longer Phoenicians, Waldenites, or Arcadians. They were all just desperate, terrified people doing everything in their power to get off the doomed ship.

  Until recently, the thought of the Colony failing had concerned Glass about as much as the prospect of the sun exploding—something she knew would eventually happen, but far after her time. She remembered when she was seven, the year her tutorial group had studied the inner workings of the ship. A member of the engineering corps had led them down to the eng
ine room and proudly displayed a complex ventilation system and series of airlocks. All the machines and generators had looked so solid and shiny and invincible, like they would last forever. What had happened between then and now?

  A shout echoed from the other end of the corridor, prompting cheers to ripple down the hall. “Someone must’ve managed to open the door to the launch deck,” Luke said softly.

  “Do you think it was the Vice Chancellor?” Glass asked. It wasn’t clear who was in charge, or who the remaining guards were taking their orders from. The few guards still in uniform had abandoned their posts, joining the sea of bodies to fight their way toward the dropships. The terror in the air was palpable.

  The crowd pushed forward suddenly and Sonja stumbled, crying out as her ankle twisted underneath her. “Oh no,” she said as she took a lurching step forward, her eyes filling with pain and panic.

  “Luke.” Glass pulled on his sleeve to get his attention. “I think my mom is hurt!”

  “I’m fine,” Sonja insisted through clenched teeth. “Just keep moving. I’ll catch up.”

  “No,” Glass said as a chilling sense of déjà vu washed over her. When Glass had been nine or ten, there’d been an evacuation drill on Phoenix. It’d all been clearly planned out ahead of time. When the alarm sounded, the children would file out of their classrooms and walk two by two down to the launch deck. Most of the kids had been in the type of exuberant good mood that came from missing tutorial, but Glass had found the whole ordeal frightening. Would the Council really send children to Earth without their parents? What would it be like to leave without saying good-bye? It’d been enough to reduce her to tears, although luckily, no one but Wells had noticed. He’d taken her hand, ignoring the giggles and taunts, and held it until the drill was over.

  Luke pulled them both over to the side of the hall, and then bent down so he was eye level with Glass’s mother. “Everything’s going to be fine,” he reassured her. “Now, show me where it hurts.” She pointed to the spot. Luke frowned, then turned around. “I’m going to have to carry you,” he said.