This Courageous Journey

by Misty M. Beller

  She knelt beside him, stroking the hair from his brow.

  He moaned, shifting under her touch.

  “Daniel.” His name felt so rich on her tongue. Strong. Honorable, just like his namesake from the Bible.

  His eyelids rose in a heavy motion, his dark gaze hovering as though he wasn’t quite sure what he was seeing.

  “Can you eat a little?”

  He blinked, nodded, and turned on his side to sit up. She tugged his arm to help him upright, then placed the plate of dried elk meat in his lap.

  She started to rise, but his touch on her arm stilled her. Turning to him, she met his gaze.

  “Sit and eat with me.” His eyes looked so hopeful, although still full of that groggy haze.

  Sinking back down, she offered the only thing she had that might help him feel better—a gentle smile. “All right.”

  She’d been kneeling in front of him, knee-to-knee, but she scooted around beside him so she wouldn’t block the fire’s warmth. After reaching for her own portion of meat, she settled in. She hadn’t meant to scoot so close to him, but the warmth of his leg soothed hers, even through his buckskins and her many layers of skirts and stockings.

  Silence settled over them as she gnawed the dried meat. The stuff could be hard to swallow at times. After working down a large bite, she eyed the piece. “This food was tasty for the first five meals, but I’d be content never to eat another bite of elk.”

  Daniel chuckled. “The elk would be content, too.”

  She laughed, sliding him a glance. “I’m sure you’re right.” Joking—that was a good sign.

  After another bite, she broached the topic she’d pondered much that day. “Tell me about the Apsaloke people we’ll be meeting.”

  His brow furrowed as he finished chewing the meat he’d just bit into. His eyes took on that look he’d worn so many times since his injury—the one that meant he was trying to remember. At last, he spoke. “Running Horse. His people are many and very skilled with furs and handwork. Usually one of my more profitable camps.”

  The thought pressed on her. “I’m sorry you don’t have anything to trade this time.”

  He didn’t answer, and a relaxed silence fell over them. In truth, she was exhausted too. Yet she wouldn’t trade this comfort of just sitting with him, side by side while they ate the most humble meal she’d prepared in years—maybe ever.

  How much she’d changed through this journey. Her ambitions no longer seemed so driving. She’d never realized the immense value of seemingly small things. Like cornmeal. Or a peaceful moment on the side of a mountain, eating elk meat with the one she loved. Yes, she did love him. The awareness had crept in a little more each day.

  So far she’d come, yet would more change be required still?

  THE NEXT TWO DAYS SEEMED to pass in a haze as they pressed as far as Daniel could manage. Noelle seemed to read him well, for each afternoon when he neared the end of his strength, when flashes of light began to explode around the edges of his aching eyes, she would call a halt to their travel for the day.

  He’d never imagined a white woman from the east would make such a capable trail companion. In truth, were he to ever take on a partner in his travels, he’d want it to be this woman. For more reasons than he dared consider.

  Winter had set in with a feel of permanence, sending a fresh layer of snow to greet them just that morning. Maybe the icy cold was part of the reason he slept so well tucked under his bear robe. Yet without the extra sleep, he may not have lasted even the few hours they rode each day.

  Surely they would arrive at Running Horse’s camp soon. If only he could remember exactly where they were. Sometimes splashes of memory came, usually when they approached a scenic view that sank over him with familiarity. But those flashes were too far apart to purge the fear that hadn’t left since the day this blasted fog first smothered his mind.

  “What say we stop for a midday rest?” Noelle’s voice sounded from the trail behind him.

  Gladly. But he couldn’t say that aloud. He reined in at a clump of rocks poking out above the snow. “Will this work?”

  They ate a quick meal of cold, roasted elk meat, but it was the chance to relax his weary muscles that he craved the most. This cold burrowed in deep, amplifying the pain that he couldn’t seem to shake. But with the snow covering almost everything, he found it impossible to find a comfortable spot to let his body rest while he ate.

  Back in the saddle, they pushed on, winding around the stony cliffs at the top of the mountain, then descending in a series of switchbacks on the other side.

  The mountain opposite them rose in rocky grandeur, the diagonal ledge of rock that spanned one side too steep for animals to climb. They’d have to skirt around the base. As he studied the snow-covered cliff, a memory surfaced. Lying on his bedroll under a blanket of stars, staring up at eerie white snow draping that exact ledge. His pulse quickened.

  He turned to check on Noelle, who raised her brows. “What is it?”

  He tried to school his expression. “What do you mean?”

  The corners of her mouth tipped. “You’re smiling. Did you see something?” She sent a glance around.

  “I remembered something.”

  Her face lit, a smile spreading that brightened every one of her perfect features. “That’s good. What was the memory?”

  “Nothing big.” He turned back to the mountain ahead and relayed the snippet.

  He finished the telling as they mounted a knoll that gave them visibility over the tops of the trees at the base of the peak they were descending.

  “Look, Daniel.” Noelle’s breathless words matched the surge in his chest as a sea of Indian lodges spread out in the valley below.

  He scanned for something familiar that would confirm that this was Running Horse’s band, but they were too far away to make out details.

  He nudged his gelding onward, letting the horse increase his stride down the hill. But the jarring sent a surge of throbbing through his leg and up into his skull, and it didn’t take long for him to rein the animal back to a slower pace. Would this pain never leave?

  Chapter Eighteen

  ’Tis a wonder how things can change.

  ~ Daniel

  The Indians must have seen them coming early, for a delegation of five braves met them on horseback. Noelle pressed her horse close beside Daniel’s mount as the two of them and the dog rode forward, then stopped a respectful distance in front of the Indians.

  Daniel signed to the men, using swift motions she could barely follow. His memory of things that happened more than a few years ago seemed to be mostly intact, more so than recent events. This universal Indian language must have been ingrained in him long ago.

  One of the Indians answered him in a string of sounds and hand signals, ending with the hint of a smile. A good sign, surely.

  Conversation bobbed back and forth in rapid flow, then Daniel motioned her to ride forward with him. “Running Horse invited us to stay in his lodge.” He spoke low, for her ears alone.

  Running Horse must be the one who’d spoken, the tall Indian with tufts of feathers tied into his long black braids. He wore several strings of white beads draped across his front—either a heavy necklace or sewn on his tunic, it was hard to tell. The man was neither old nor young but carried himself with the same regal bearing the Blackfoot had. The same bearing Daniel possessed. At least, when he wasn’t doubled over with pain or exhaustion.

  Indians lined up along the path they rode between the lodges, curious gazes eyeing them from each tawny face. The women wore buckskin dresses, and many of the children, too. But it was the elaborate beadwork and decorations that snagged her attention. Some of the decorative pieces were white, maybe made from carved bone or teeth.

  Animal bones, hopefully. She pushed the thought of human bones away as soon as it came, yet it still sent a shiver down her arms.

  She smiled at each face as they paraded through the camp. And a parade it was, their India
n escorts having split, with two in front and three behind. The eager faces of the crowd made it seem more like they were being showcased than being brought in under guard. Please, Lord. Let that be the case. Give us favor with these people.

  They halted behind Running Horse, then dismounted as a boy took the reins of their animals. The leader introduced them to a woman standing by the entrance to a huge lodge, taller than those on either side of it. The name he called her sounded like Ituha, although the sounds flowed from his mouth so quickly, it was hard to be sure.

  The woman turned to go inside the lodge, and Running Horse motioned them in behind her. Thankfully, Daniel stepped forward first. Before stepping in, he motioned for Griz to stay by the entrance.

  The inside was similar to the Blackfoot lodge they’d used at the other camp, only much larger. Fur sleeping pallets lined the outer edge, and a blazing fire was centered in the middle.

  The flat stones that lay just inside the fire ring grabbed Noelle’s focus, snaring her gaze like a fish in a net. Round patties cooked atop the rocks, a food that looked suspiciously like darkened corncakes.

  “Noelle.” Daniel’s voice pulled her from her reverie, forcing her attention up to him.

  He motioned toward the ground near the fire. “We’re to sit.”

  She followed Daniel’s lead, sitting cross-legged beside him. The heat of the fire pressed toward them, warming her face and arms. The woman scooped up the cakes and placed them on two slabs of bark, then handed one to each of them.

  Running Horse sat across the fire from them but didn’t seem interested in conversation as he accepted his own bark plate.

  Her mouth watered as she studied the food in her lap. She could practically taste the savory flavors and textures of the warm, soft delicacy. Yet she dared not eat before Daniel. There might be a custom before meals, and she couldn’t risk violating it.

  Her heart pricked at the thought. She had her own mealtime custom she’d neglected. Thank you, Father, for this sumptuous fare. For the blessing of these people.

  Daniel raised a cake to his mouth, giving her freedom to do the same.

  That first bite seemed to burst with flavors. Nothing at all what she’d expected. Richer. Fuller. Awakening her mouth with a deliciousness that took over her senses.

  When she came back to herself, she’d finished the first patty. A glance at Daniel showed him half through with his second. They must look like they hadn’t eaten in days, but frankly, she was too hungry to care.

  Noelle’s Journal

  September 27th

  We’ve been with Running Horse and Ituha for a full day now, and they treat us like honored guests. Daniel said Ituha’s name means Sturdy Oak, which seems to fit her, as she’s a stout woman. Her short-cut hair makes her face appear rounder than it might be, and adds to the image. But she possesses a servant’s heart, no doubt about it. We’ve eaten enough of the flat cakes she makes to last us a week at least. I think they have berries and meat mixed in, which makes them a full meal, as various as our recent diet has been lacking.

  Daniel slept long this morning, and I tried to explain to Ituha that he’s been ill. I think she understood, because she gave him a strong tea when he finally awoke. He seems embarrassed to have slept so much among the Indians, but he shouldn’t be. Not when he’s recovering from a lightning strike. When I said as much to him, he only frowned, which made me smile. Men will be men.

  In truth, I would be content to stay here a week at least, so Daniel could recover. Ituha will have to let me help with her work, though. Thus far she rebuffs my every attempt. I’m not sure Daniel will agree to staying, anyway. That determined streak is one of the things I love about him, yet my soul aches to see him still in such pain.

  “DANIEL, I DON’T THINK we should leave yet.” Noelle propped her hands at her waist.

  Only two days they’d been here. He needed longer to recover in this haven of warmth and nourishment than two days. Whatever his reason for pushing on, she had to take a stand.

  He didn’t turn from the pack where he was adding in their new supplies. “We need to move on before winter gets bad.”

  “A few more days won’t make a difference. Not with the weather anyway, but those days might be significant for your well-being.”

  He tied the fastening strings, then stood and finally turned to face her, his dark eyes not backing down from her challenge. “I’m fine. My well-being is as good as it’s going to get.”

  If she thought it would help, she’d stamp her foot. But that would be childish.

  Instead, she raised her chin and let her determination show in her eyes. “I’m not leaving yet, Daniel.” She had to fight to keep from cringing at her brashness.

  He took a step closer, his eyes softening. “Noelle. Please.”

  With him so near, close enough to touch, looking at her like that with the timbre of his voice deep as he spoke those two words—he slayed her defenses.

  Yet, she couldn’t let him. For his own sake, she had to stand strong. She swallowed to draw moisture into her parched mouth. “Daniel, this is important. To me.”

  He stood there a long moment, studying her. His dark eyes were unreadable, but the crease between his brows bespoke his turmoil.

  He had to agree. She touched his arm. “Please, Daniel.”

  His throat worked, his Adam’s apple dipping. “If it matters so much, we can stay until you’re ready to leave.”

  “Really?” Thank you, Father. Not just a few more days. He was letting her choose. The relief bubbling inside her had to find a way out, and she stepped into his arms, wrapping herself around him. “Thank you.”

  His strength closed her in, cradling her. A warm chuckle rumbled against her ear. “I didn’t realize how happy staying in an Indian camp would make you.”

  She pulled back to look at him, but his arms didn’t let her go far. “I want you well, Daniel Abrams. And this isn’t such a bad place to accomplish it.” A smile tugged at her lips. How could it not when he held her in his arms and looked at her like that.

  His gaze slipped to her lips, stilling her breath. Her mouth called up the memory of his kiss. That delicious, all-consuming kiss. Every part of her craved a repeat. Right here and now.

  He didn’t disappoint. Yet the slowness with which he lowered his mouth built up a bundle of longing inside her. By the time he brushed her lips with his, she all but tugged him closer, responding to his taste with a hunger she couldn’t seem to fight.

  SHE MAY WELL BE THE death of him.

  Daniel sank into the kiss, his mind and body responding to her ardor in every core of him. She had the power to consume him, to take every part of him captive. And he couldn’t think of a place he’d rather be. This was what he wanted, more than anything else he could fathom.

  Yet, Noelle was too important to trifle with. She’d become everything to him. His sole task to treasure her. To protect her. Especially from himself.

  He gathered his last tendrils of strength and softened the kiss, ending with a final brush on her lips. Yet he couldn’t seem to pull away. He rested his forehead on hers, cradling her jaw in his hands. “You undo me, woman.”

  Perhaps he shouldn’t have said it, yet he had no strength to keep secrets from her. Not when their lives—their very survival—were so intertwined.

  He could feel her smile, though she was so close her face was a blur.

  “The feeling is mutual.” Her words sent a surge through him, and it took all his restraint not to pull her back into another fiery kiss. Instead, he eased out a long, steadying breath and pulled back.

  She stepped out of his arms, as if knowing she would be playing with fire if she stayed near. Her gaze skittered around the tipi. “I need to see how I can help Ituha.”

  He let her go, giving his pulse a chance to calm. Yet he had the feeling, as long as he stayed near this woman, his heart rate would never truly settle.

  THREE MORE DAYS, THEY stayed in Running Horse’s camp. Daniel tried not to
regret sleeping late in the mornings. But as soon as he’d taken the morning meal, he forced himself up and out of the lodge. He had to regain his strength, which meant he had to work at it. He even went with some of the other warriors on a short hunt one morning.

  He itched to set out again. They’d not had another snow since arriving at the camp, but winter would strike hard any day. The farther along they were on the journey, the better chance they’d have of making it safely to Noelle’s brother.

  Yet he’d promised they’d stay here until she was ready to move on. No matter how he chaffed, he couldn’t go back on his word. Not when she’d thanked him with that fiery kiss. Even now the memory of it heated him all the way to his core.

  “There you are.”

  He straightened at Noelle’s soft, lilting tone. Griz jumped up and trotted to her. The dog knew a good thing when he saw her.

  He did his best not to appear quite as eager. “Thought I’d check on these two.” He stroked Pauper’s neck, pressing flat the horse’s thick, winter coat.

  She stepped into his line of sight, and he turned to take her in more fully. He blinked at the sight before him. “What—? Where did you get those buckskins?”

  She was clad head to toe like an Indian maiden, her deerskin tunic light tan with a beaded design across the front. The shirt hung midway down her legs, revealing matching leggings underneath and moccasins over her feet. Her golden hair hung in two long braids. An Indian princess. Yet it was the shy smile sweetening her expression that tightened his chest the most.

  “Ituha gave these to me. She said they belonged to her daughter who no longer lives in this camp now that she’s married.” The corners of her mouth tugged. “At least, I think that’s what she said. She insisted I put them on.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I can’t believe how warm this clothing is. I almost don’t need a coat with the sun shining.”

  Warm indeed. And utterly appealing. He turned away before he did something he’d regret. “Leathers will keep you much better in the snow.”