Sweet Collateral

by LP Lovell

  “Now,” Una barely whispers. Without hesitation, her and Sasha start firing in rapid succession. I watch woman after woman fall to their bullets, and my heart breaks. On a deep breath, I move my rifle half an inch, lining up a girl who has dropped to the floor in terror. I blink, and tears leave the corners of my eyes as I squeeze the trigger. I watch her die at my hand, but instead of lingering, I move onto the next and the next. I sold them to this fate, and I know that death is a salvation from the things that will happen to them behind that door. It’s not fair. It’s not righteous. It’s murder, pure and simple. The lesser of two evils. Both of which I’ve inflicted on them. With every bullet, I feel little bits of my soul withering and dying, screaming in agony as they’re torn from my body. They’re abandoning a sinking vessel, escaping the darkness that has consumed me so entirely. I’m no longer a savior or oppressor. I’m worse. I’m death disguised as a miracle, and I’ve betrayed them.

  Finally, the bullets stop and my ears ring. The ragged sounds of my own breaths are all I hear for a moment before a high-pitched keening starts. It’s the sound of agony, of an inhuman form of torture. Una’s arms come around me, and she pulls me to her chest, whispering words in my ear. And all the time, that horrible, broken noise emanates from my body uncontrollably.

  “Shhh, it’s okay,” Una chokes, her hand stroking over my hair. “It’s okay. You did the only thing you could.”

  “We need to move,” Sasha murmurs quietly.

  I check out then, their words nothing but background noise to the deafening static crackling around my brain. I’m picked up off the floor and held against a firm chest. I don’t register the journey back to the airfield. I walk numbly onto the plane, my legs acting on autopilot without conscious thought.

  I’m vaguely aware of Una talking to Rafael, and then she’s kneeling in front of me, forcing me to look at her. “This is where I leave you. I have to go back to New York. To Dante.” She smiles softly. “Rafael will look after you, and your baby.” My baby. Standing up, she kisses my forehead and turns away, leaving me to my numb state. I can feel the darkness right there, beckoning to me. I usually try so hard to resist it, but right now I can’t. It’s too alluring, too tempting to turn down because this is a pain I’ve never felt. Guilt. Deep dark, loathsome guilt, laced with a hatred that’s festering away at my very core. And I can’t bear it. I allow that sweet promise of freedom to caress the edges of my mind, lulling me into a sense of peace and acceptance.

  “Anna?” Rafael takes the seat next to me and grabs my jaw, roughly forcing me to look at him. “Do not do this,” he half pleads, half snaps.

  “Just for a little while,” I tell him, though the words feel hollow and absent as they leave my mouth.

  Sitting back in my seat, I close my eyes, and I just drown it all out. Every single thing.

  I jolt awake at the sound of something. Blinking my eyes open, I glance around the room. Rafael’s room. In the mansion. I frown as I try to remember how I got here, but my thoughts are interrupted by that sound. High pitched, somewhere between a cry and a shriek. My heart seizes as it reaches my ears, and I find myself sliding out of bed, mutely following it out of the room and down the hall. I stop outside the next bedroom along and slowly turn the doorknob. The door glides open, the hinges creaking slightly as it reveals a room with a simple white crib in the middle. White gauzy curtains catch on the breeze coming from the open balcony door, billowing around the crib. Another high-pitched cry, and this time, I rush forward, gripping the railing. Peering inside, I’m met with a pair of wide, tear-filled blue eyes. Her cries are like a dagger to my heart.

  “Shh, it’s okay,” I whisper, sliding my hands beneath the baby and scooping her up. She quiets slightly, and we stare at each other. Una was right—this can’t be explained. As I look at her, it’s like everything suddenly sharpens. All the things that were once blurry are now crystal clear. Everything that came before this moment falls into the background, and my past no longer matters. Only this. Only her. I clutch her to me, and inhale the scent of her downy hair. The warmth of her tiny body seeps into me, chasing away the icy cold that seems to have taken up residence inside me. I know her. We’ve never met. She could be any baby, but something in me just knows she is mine. The storm of my emotions calms into a sea of serenity, as though she’s centering me—my own personal anchor. “It’s okay now.”

  She slowly starts to quiet as I rock her back and forth. I move over to the rocking chair in the corner, and it’s then that I notice the room. It isn’t just a room that’s had a crib put in it. It’s been decorated. The walls are a soft yellow with daisies painted on them in places. All the furniture, the curtains, the rocking chair…this is all new. Rafael had this brought in here. For her. For me.

  When she finally falls asleep, I shift her into my arms, just so that I can look at her. Long lashes fan over her soft cheeks and her tiny mouth falls open as she breathes softly. So precious. So unaware. She has no idea the feats I have gone to just to hold her like this, just to know her, and I realize that here, right now, with her in my arms, I wouldn’t change it. How could I?

  “It suits you, avecita.” I look up at the sound of Rafael’s voice. He’s leaning against the doorframe, thick arms folded over his chest. I didn’t think it was possible for me to love Rafael any more than I did before all this, but as I look at him, knowing the lengths he has gone to for this, how can I not? My heart skips a beat when he pushes off the doorframe and moves closer.

  “Thank you. For bringing her to me,” I whisper.

  “You didn’t tell me,” he says. “You could have told me what you were going to do.”

  “I couldn’t.”

  “Anna…”

  “I couldn’t bear to see the disgust on your face,” I say on a strangled breath.

  He walks over and presses a finger beneath my chin, forcing me to look up at him towering over me. “It was a mercy, little warrior.”

  “It was murder, Rafe.”

  “If it were you, would you rather have been turned over to them, or died?”

  “I’d rather die than let another man touch me against my will again.”

  “Mercy.” He strokes his thumb over my jaw and glances down at my sleeping baby. “She looks just like you.”

  “You made this nursery for her. Why?”

  He tilts his head to the side. “Doesn’t a baby need a nursery?”

  I chew the inside of my lip. “She’s not yours, Rafe,” I whisper. His expression falls slightly, and I reach out, grabbing a handful of his shirt and tugging him down until he’s on his knees in front of me. I cup his cheek, scratching my nails over the stubble. “I wish she was. More than anything. But she’s not. You don’t owe us anything.”

  He laughs and turns his face, kissing my palm. “Avecita, is that what you think? That I believe I owe you something?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know. This is all so messed up, Rafe. None of this is supposed to happen like this.”

  “You have my love. Always. Yes, you have a child you should never have been able to have. That’s a blessing.” He kisses the inside of my wrist. “How many times do we have to do this before you finally realize, avecita?”

  “Realize what?”

  He kisses up my arm, his teeth scraping over my skin. “That you are mine. Every part of you. Including her.” He gently brushes his fingers over her hair and my chest tightens.

  “Be sure that you mean that, Rafe.”

  “Little warrior, it’s never changed. Not since the day I took you from that dirty bar.” He grasps my face is both hands and kisses me. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. And now her.”

  “I love you,” I breathe against his lips.

  “I love you too, little warrior.” I smile, because for the first time ever, I feel complete. Safe. Loved. It’s all over-shadowed by the lingering sense of guilt in the pit of my stomach, but honestly, I’m not sure that will ever go away. And it shouldn’t. I should carry the
weight of those girls’ deaths to my grave. That is the choice I made. Even if I wouldn’t take it back. “What are you going to call her?” Rafael asks.

  I glance down at her sleeping peacefully. Rafael places his large hand on her chest, his tanned, tattooed skin contrasting wildly with the milky purity of hers.

  “Violet,” I whisper. I hear his breath audibly hitch and his hand still against her chest.

  “Violet.’ He places a kiss on her head. “I won’t let you down, little one,” he vows.

  Epilogue

  One month later

  Warm breath rushes over my back, followed by the feather-light brush of a kiss. Groaning, I roll over, trying to cling to just a few seconds more of precious sleep. Violet was up all night, and I feel like a zombie.

  “Avecita,” Rafe breathes against my neck before raking his teeth over my skin. I shiver and smile.

  “What time is it?” I ask.

  “Early.”

  I flip onto my back and blink my eyes open, looking up at him. “What’s wrong? Are you going somewhere?”

  “No. We are.”

  “What?” My brain can’t function right now.

  “Get dressed, little warrior. Wear something nice.” He kisses my forehead and stands. I sit up, clutching the sheet to my chest as I watch him walk out. What is he doing?

  After I’ve showered, I put on a pale pink summer dress and some sandals. I leave the room and move through the house, looking for everyone else, but aside from the security, the house seems strangely silent. The guys bantering in the kitchen, Bella cooking over the stove…it’s all absent. I start to get edgy, but then I find Rafael in the foyer. Waiting.

  “What’s going on? Where is everyone? Where’s Violet?”

  He smiles and places his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me close. “You look beautiful.”

  “Rafe…”

  “Patience, avecita.”

  Taking my hand, he leads me out the front door and around the side of the house. There, on the lawn, is a helicopter.

  I smile. “You can’t just be normal and have a car?”

  “I could…”

  He helps me into the passenger seat, and even though he’s smiling, he seems tense. He gets inside and fires up the engines, lifting the chopper off the ground. We stay low, flying over the scorched desert. And when we land, I know exactly where we are. I catch sight of the lake over the ridge, just before he lowers us to the ground.

  “Is this a date?” I ask on a smile.

  “Something like that.”

  I open the door, and my feet touch the hot sand. Rafael rounds the front of the chopper and holds a piece of material up in front of me.

  “What is that?”

  “A blindfold.” I fold my arms over my chest. “Really?” He wants me to wear a blindfold down the path that’s dangerous at the best of times.

  “Don’t you trust me, baby?” he grins.

  “Fine.” I turn around and he places the material over my eyes, before sweeping me off my feet. I squeak as he pulls me against his chest.

  “Rafe!”

  He laughs. “Patience.”

  I feel him navigate the steep path that runs down to the lake and I hold onto him tightly, knowing how hazardous the descent can be. He finally puts me down and steps back. Reaching behind my head, I untie the blindfold, blinking spots away from my eyes in the suddenly bright sunlight. When I can finally see again, Rafael is in front of me, on one knee.

  I frown at him. “What are you doing?”

  He holds something up in front of him, and I squint at it. A ring. “Avecita, marry me.” My heart trips and I stare in wide eyed disbelief.

  “What?”

  He smiles. “I’m not taking no for an answer, so I suggest you say yes.”

  Holy shit, he’s serious. “Yes?”

  He pushes to his feet, huffing out a laugh. “Don’t sound too sure.” He takes my hand and slides the ring onto my finger. A lump forms in my throat at the idea that this incredible man wants to tie himself to me for the rest of his life.

  “I’m surprised you even asked.” Rafael is more of a tell then ask person.

  He shrugs. “Formality.” Grabbing my shoulders, he turns me around. “We’re getting married either way. Everyone’s already here.”

  Literally. Everyone. Rows of seats are lined up near the edge of the lake, and at the water’s edge, a tiny archway of flowers stands, with Carlos in front of it. Una, Nero, Samuel, Lucas, Bella, Violet…they’re all here. All the people we care about. In our place.

  Rafael takes my hand. “Ride or die?”

  I smile. “Always.”

  Our story hasn’t been pretty, but didn’t anyone ever tell you? You can’t see the stars without the dark.

  Rafael and Violet are my shining stars and I’d suffer any amount of darkness for them.

  THE END

  Would you like to read Una and Nero’s story? It’s FREE in Kindle Unlimited and available HERE.

  Other books by LP Lovell

  Kiss of Death series

  Touch of Death Series

  Wrong Series

  Bad Series

  She Who Dares Series

  Standalones:

  No Prince

  Absolution

  Dirty Boss

  The Pope

  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lplovellauthor

  Twitter: @Authorlplovell

  Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7850247.LP_Lovell

  Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/LP-Lovell/e/B00NDZ61PM

  Dear Reader

  Thank you so much for reading. I hope you liked the book.

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  The Author

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  Lauren Lovell is a ginger from England. She suffers from a total lack of brain to mouth filter and is the friend you have to explain before you introduce her to anyone, and apologise for afterwards.

  She's a self-confessed shameless pervert, who may be suffering from slight peen envy.