by Coralee June
Alessandro frowned again but gave in. “Fine.”
The older building was quiet despite the busy city street outside. We had to climb four flights of stairs because the elevator was out of service. When we got to the door numbered forty-three, Alessandro pulled out a toolkit and easily unlocked the door. “You should teach me how to do that,” I said, hoping to lighten the mood. He didn’t respond.
We both stood at the closed door for a moment, stuck in a painful limbo where neither of us wanted to take the first step. This was a big moment. I couldn’t tell what emotion was most prominent in my soul. Was it anger? Excitement? Disappointment? I glanced at Alessandro’s heaving chest and reached around him to twist the knob. Let’s get this shit over with.
The door slowly crept open. My breath hitched.
Alessandro snapped out of his stupor and stepped inside first, but not before grabbing my hand. The small but meaningful gesture hit me hard. I squeezed his hand, not realizing how much I needed this—needed the shaky bond we shared.
“He’s not here,” Alessandro whispered while flipping on a light switch. I felt the truth in his words but hated how quickly he knew. I wanted to cling to my excitement a bit longer.
The loft apartment was a single room and bathroom. All the lights were off. The white bed sheets were a tangled mess. The smell of fast food overflowing from the trash cans made my nose twitch. Alessandro pulled me to the bathroom, checked behind the curtain. Nothing. He opened the cabinets. An empty tube of toothpaste and some cotton balls greeted us. He dragged me to a small dining room table as tears streamed down my face. “Fuck,” I said.
Alessandro dropped my hand and reached for a scrap of paper left behind on the tabletop. I couldn’t make out the scrawled letters from where I stood.
“He doesn’t want us to follow him again.”
I ran my hands through my hair and felt wave after hopeless wave wash over me. I didn’t bother ripping the sheet of paper from Alessandro’s hand. I didn’t want to see the evidence of Nix’s rejection. “He’s gone.”
I eyed the bed and made my way over to it. I took off my heels and slipped under the sheets, pressing my nose to the pillow to breathe Nix in. There it was. A woodsy scent layered with vanilla overtones. I breathed again. And again. My tears soaked the pillow as my body trembled. The mattress dipped, and I turned to face Alessandro. “He’s gone,” I echoed.
Alessandro reached out to stroke my cheek. “This is why I didn’t want you to come,” he admitted. “I didn’t want you to feel the pain of disappointment.”
I shifted closer and snuggled against Alessandro’s chest. He welcomed me with open arms, something I didn’t expect. “We’re never going to see him again, are we?”
Alessandro kissed my forehead. “I don’t know.”
I thought about how phoenixes were created. They emerged from the ashes of their existence. They had to burn in order to live. Seeing this empty apartment made me wonder if there was any part of the Nix I knew left or if he was nothing but fleeting flames.
Chapter Five
Grace
“So tell me what the note said again?” Sunshine asked. I pictured her pacing the floors of Gavriel’s penthouse, biting her lip and clenching her fists.
I held the phone between my ear and shoulder while picking up the scrap of paper. “I'm sorry. Please stop looking for me,” I recited. Alessandro and I had ended up staying in Nix’s apartment last night. I wasn’t ready to leave the sheets that smelled like Nix. He held me as I sobbed against his chest, stopping only to go downstairs and grab our luggage. He was currently sitting at the table, working on the computer.
“He’s trying to protect us, but from what?” she asked. I’d been wondering the exact same thing. It kept me up most of last night. “How did Alessandro take the news?”
I stared at the man in question. His dress shirt was wrinkled, and he had rolled up the sleeves so he could type away at his computer. I made my way over to the patio and went outside, closing the door so he couldn’t hear Sunshine and me gossiping. “He seemed to take it well. I was the one breaking down like an idiot. It’s been five years, and I still can’t help but feel devastated. It's just like the day he left.”
“Nix has that effect on people,” Sunshine murmured, her own voice clogged with emotion. “You never really get over the people you love.”
“Alessandro comforted me. Sometimes I feel like we could be friends—real friends. Not like this obligatory partnership we have going on. But then this morning, he got up and didn’t say a word. Nothing. He just started working on his laptop and scowling.”
Sunshine didn’t say anything for a long moment. I stared out at the city street. People were revving up for the day. I could hear a television from a nearby apartment. A mosquito landed on my forearm and stung me. Tiny motorcycles passed by, and the smell of breakfast from a nearby restaurant made my mouth water.
I tried to imagine Nix sitting out here, his muscular frame leaned back in the cushioned patio chair with his legs stretched in front of him. Did he sip whiskey while watching the world? I wondered what his day was like. How did he spend his days, hours, minutes, and seconds away from me? I leaned against the iron bars lining the patio and stared at the lines of brightly painted buildings. The apartment next to us had vines crawling up the stucco. Maybe we could ask the owners if they ever saw Nix?
I jumped when she finally spoke up. “I think you and Alessandro could be really great. I’m actually glad you’re doing this together. If I’m being honest, I’m jealous.” Her voice was broken and sounded strained. I didn’t want to make her cry.
“Jealous?” I asked.
“You have what I lost. You just don’t realize it yet. Fuck, I miss Nix. I need him.”
I absorbed her words before responding. “I don’t think Alessandro and I are like you and Nix. We’re both in love with the same man. We’re both heartbroken. This thing is temporary.”
“It isn’t temporary,” Sunshine promised. “Soulmates come once in a lifetime, Grace. Grab hold of it and never let go.” Her voice broke on a sob, but she continued. “Soulmates aren’t always lovers. They’re the people who patch the holes in your heart. They’re the people who get you. Alessandro has been healing your cracks for five years.” She was full on sobbing, and I felt bad for making her so upset. I was about to ease her with words of assurance when a dark, gritty voice came over the line.
“You made my wife cry,” Gavriel said. He must have grabbed the phone.
I rolled my eyes. If he wanted to be pissed, then he should find Nix and yell at him. “I didn’t do it intentionally.”
“Let me talk to Alessandro. He’s not answering my calls.”
“Hello to you too, Bro. How’s life? What have you been up to?”
“Don’t sass me. Just hand the phone over.” I frowned and let out a sigh. Just once I wanted my brother to actually ask about me, not just demand things.
I went inside and approached Alessandro, holding out my phone for him to take. He rolled his eyes and stopped typing to grab it. “Yes,” he answered.
I stood there, shamelessly eavesdropping. Gavriel spoke for a long while, and Alessandro kept his expression fixed into a blank look before responding. “Yes. Nix left a fingerprint on the network. I managed to find a couple of things but no leads. There was a flight booked to Sydney for the same day we arrived, but the name isn’t one I recognized. My gut is telling me that it’s a fake identity. Nix is in Sydney. If we leave now, we can probably—”
Gavriel must have cut him off. All of this was news to me. Maybe Alessandro didn’t want to get my hopes up. Sydney? Nix was in Sydney? Why the hell were we waiting here?
“Of course. Yes, sir,” Alessandro gritted before hanging up the phone.
“I’m guessing my brother doesn’t want us going to Sydney?” I asked.
“He doesn’t want you going. I’ve been instructed to take you to the jet and put you on a flight home immediately.”
“That fucking prick,” I spat before pacing the hardwood floors. I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to see this to the end.
“We’re not going to listen to him, are we?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.
“You can’t go, Grace. We don’t know what we’re up against. There’s no guarantee he’s even there. This could be a wild goose chase.”
I stopped my pacing and walked over to Alessandro. He eyed me warily as I grabbed his hand. “I can’t,” he said.
“You can,” I insisted.
“I’m going to finish up here, and then we’re leaving. I don’t like staying here for any longer than necessary. Finding even this scrap of information took every ounce of my abilities. I was never the hacker Nix was, but this is next level. More than the vigilante group we worked for.”
I ground my teeth and squeezed his hand. “I’m going with you.”
“You’re not,” Alessandro promised. “Get ready, we’re leaving within the hour.” I couldn’t make sense of the way he crossed his arms over his chest and glared at me. How could he just push me away without a care?
“Maybe Nix doesn’t want to be found,” I offered, not really believing it.
“We both know that note was bullshit. I’m going to find him and figure this out. You are going to take a shower so we can leave.”
I started stomping toward the bathroom like a petulant child. I hated how much everyone controlled my life. I turned on the shower and stripped out of my clothes. “Fucking assholes. All of them.” I got under the steaming hot water and nearly screamed in frustration. I found some soap and started lathering up my skin, the woodsy scent assaulting me. Nix.
I breathed him in. He must have left it when he fled. The suds coated my sensitive skin, and my nipples pebbled. “Where are you, Nix?” I asked while closing my eyes. I ran my hands over my neck, across my collarbone and down my chest. I imagined Nix’s rich brown skin, his dark eyes. His broad shoulders, his defined jaw, his rippling abs and those infuriatingly sexy glasses he wore. I pictured his smirk as he touched me, that commanding presence he had. I ran my fingers lower and lower.
The bathroom door opened, and the shower curtain was shoved to the side. Alessandro glared at my body, and I let out a huff of annoyance. "You're taking too long."
"I've been in here like five minutes—tops."
Alessandro looked me up and down with an easy dip of his hard coal gaze. "Stop rubbing yourself with Nix's bodywash.”
Shame made my flushed cheeks burn with awareness. My dripping, naked body was bared before him. Alessandro knew my dirty thoughts and had no problem throwing them in my face. I chewed on the inside of my cheek while cocking my head to the side, daring him to say something. "Smells nice, huh?" I said before grabbing my sudsy hands and running them along his dress shirt.
"What are you doing?" he asked while clenching his jaw.
"Figured you'd wanna enjoy it too," I offered with a shrug. The hot water ran down my back, and my nipples were fucking pointing at Alessandro. He wasn't fazed. I grabbed the bodywash and squirted it at him, drenching his shirt.
"What the fuck, Grace?" he yelled before stripping out of his now soapy shirt. I smiled and squirted him again.
"That is for taking me back to my asshole brother."
I sprayed him again with a manic laugh. "That is for being an insufferable asshole."
He reached out and grabbed my wrists before jumping into the shower after me. "Have you lost your damn mind? I mean that seriously."
"Maybe?" I replied while hogging the hot water. Alessandro still wore his pants, the expensive tailored fabric clinging to his muscular legs. His stomach was coiled tight with tension. He ran a hand over his jaw before shaking his head. This didn't feel sexual in the slightest. Don't get me wrong, Alessandro was hot as fuck. But this wasn't the first time he'd seen my naked body. This wasn't the first time we danced around a strange sense of intimacy that meant more than physical attraction.
"You're a fucking pain in my ass. He stripped out of his clothes and very quickly rinsed off before getting out of the shower and drying off.
"You smell like him now," I mused before following suit. "We both do."
Alessandro wrapped the towel around his waist. "I don't want to fucking smell like him. I'm starting to think I want nothing to do with Nix or you or this ridiculous game we're playing."
My heart stalled. Maybe I pushed him too far. Maybe I challenged him too much.
"Get dressed," he said before picking up his mess of clothes and tossing them in the sink.
"Okay," I whispered.
We were completely silent for the ride to the airport. Alessandro messed with his iPad for the entire drive, not bothering to look at me. I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest and huffing at every red light. I hated this. I wasn't ready to leave. In fact, I wanted to grab a cab and find the nearest beach resort, maybe lick my wounds with some male model while sipping a fruity drink.
"We're here," the driver said in a clipped accent while pulling into the private airport. I didn't wait for someone to open my door. I got out and stomped down the tarmac in frustration.
"Grace," Alessandro called out. He sounded annoyed but also worn down by my attitude. I'd decided while leaving Nix's place that I would put some much needed space between Alessandro and myself. I needed to protect myself. We'd been doing this for far too long. I'd been fucking pining for Nix way too long. It was time to end all of this. I didn't want to go home, but I fucking would. I'd go home and start living my life. I'd fall on a couple dicks. I'd find some friends that actually liked me for me and not some sick sense of obligation. I'd probably move apartments, too. I'd stop making it so easy for Alessandro to get under my skin. Sunshine might have thought that he and I shared something special, but she was wrong. He didn't like me, and I was tired of pressing the subject.
"Grace!" he called again. I kept stomping. My heels dug into the concrete with every step. I walked up to an attendant and waited for the driver to bring up my suitcase. A hand landed on my shoulder. "Stop being such a fucking brat," Alessandro growled.
I slowly inhaled and fixed my face into a stern scowl. The air smelled like fuel, and waves of heat rolled off the ground. "I'm just giving you what you want," I offered. Okay, so maybe I was throwing a tantrum, but I was tired of this push and pull. I was tired of putting up with his rude words. I was tired of all of it.
"What I want?" Alessandro asked. "And what exactly is it that I want?"
"You want to get rid of me. Congrats, I'm gone. I don't want to see you anymore. I don't want to search for Nix anymore. I don't want to watch you fuck randoms from my balcony anymore. I don't want you tucking me into bed, following me around the city or whatever the fuck else it is you do."
Alessandro looked over my shoulder at one of the flight attendants standing outside of Gavriel's plane, then slid his eyes back to me. "I shouldn't have said what I did. In my defense, you squirted me with bodywash. I'm running on three hours of sleep, and I'm about to chase down my ex-boyfriend in Sydney, Australia, which by the way, is a good twenty-two hour flight from here. I'm tired. I'm annoyed that we didn't find him. I'm pissed off that we're up against some sophisticated hacking that I'm not capable of cracking. I'm pissed that I have to do this alone, but also thankful that you are going to be safe." His tone was matter-of-fact, but there was an exhausted softness to his gray eyes I’d never seen before.
My brows shot up. That was probably the most vulnerable Alessandro had ever been. "Really?" I asked in a soft voice, my earlier anger gone.
"Really. You annoy the fuck out of me, but we've been in this together since he left. Just have a little grace for me, okay?"
"Ha. Ha. Ha. You know us Morettis have grace for no one. It's in our blood to be selfish, unforgiving assholes."
Alessandro wrapped me up in a friendly hug. "Try? For me? If I promise to message you constantly, will that make you feel better?"
"Maybe. And if you find him, will you tell
him I'm dating a male model with an elephant dick? And that I'm totally thriving. Hot as sin. I'm living my best life. Make him miserable." Alessandro chuckled while clutching me tight. I breathed him in and nearly sobbed at the smell of Nix lingering on his skin. He bopped my nose and pulled away.
"Ma'am? The pilots are ready." A short woman with gray teeth and ink-black hair tapped me on the shoulder. She wore the usual flight attendant outfit, but there was something off about her.
“What is your name?" Alessandro asked. "You aren't on Moretti's usual crew." Alessandro pushed between me and the flight attendant, making every hair on my body stand up.
"I'm a new hire."
"Mind if I check your credentials?" Alessandro reached for his phone and dialed my brother's number, his eyes never leaving the woman, who was now shuffling from one foot to the other.
"Moretti," Alessandro said into the phone. Time passed slowly. Her eyes widened and her fingers twitched. Something was wrong. "Have you hired any new flight crew members?"
I waited for more of the conversation and watched as a bead of sweat traveled down the woman's temple. Something was wrong. Very wrong. I took a step toward the SUV. Her terror-stricken face twisted into a manic smile. "Bound I am to the rules they make. I was created for their purpose. I live for their whims. I die by their sword."
Alessandro hung up his phone and pushed me back. What the fuck was this lady saying? "The Ringleaders send their highest regards," she said in a monotone voice before reaching into her pocket and pulling out a device I didn't recognize. Alessandro pushed me farther back. It all happened so fast. His arms wrapped around my body just as a boom echoed around us. Heat and flames licked at my exposed skin as we were tossed across the gritty concrete with the blast. Alessandro cried out. My legs stung, and there was a never-ending ringing in my ears. We were knocked over, and the hard impact of the ground made me cry out.