Love Redesigned

by Jenny Proctor

  “Business manager,” I said, my tone short. I was trying, but the woman was making propriety really hard.

  “What?”

  “I’m his Business Manager. Not his Assistant.”

  “Oh. Well, whatever. I’m sure his life must be so glamorous.”

  For another hour we walked around the city. Had we not stopped at Kaminsky's to get dessert, the day might have been a complete failure. But eating her ice cream kept Jasmine quiet long enough that I was able to enjoy my milkshake in peace. And a Kaminsky’s milkshake was an experience all its own.

  I was back home by four-thirty, my shoulders sore from the tension they’d been carrying all afternoon. I’d gone on a date to get Dani off my mind and instead experienced the exact opposite. I dropped onto the couch in the living room.

  Isaac pulled off his headphones. He was, miraculously, alone in the spacious room. “How’d it go?”

  I groaned my displeasure. “I think she only dated me hoping to get closer to you.”

  “Really? Jasmine?” he said, in a tone that said he already knew. “You think she’s into me? Interesting.”

  “She’s already tried to ask you out, hasn’t she?”

  He grinned. “Did she talk to you about summer camp?”

  I tossed a pillow at his face. “Why didn’t you warn me?”

  He dodged the pillow with a chuckle. “I thought you might like her.”

  “I hate you.” I threw another pillow, this one hitting him square in the face. “Where’s everyone else?”

  “Went to see a movie,” Isaac said.

  “And you didn’t go?”

  “Naw. Didn’t feel like dealing with people. Sorry the date sucked. I kinda hoped she’d like you enough to stop talking about me. I mean, she’s not bad to look at.”

  “No, but she’s not . . .” My words trailed off. Because finishing the sentence meant admitting to something I didn’t want to say out loud.

  “She’s not Dani?” Isaac finished for me.

  I sighed. So much for ignoring that truth. “Nobody is.”

  I leaned back into the cushions. The first time I’d kissed Dani, it had been all her. I’d taken her to see Hamilton on Broadway and right there in the theater, minutes before opening curtain, she’d turned to me, taken my face in her hands, and kissed me. “Thank you for bringing me here,” she’d whispered.

  It had surprised me in the moment, but the longer I got to know her, the more I’d realized that’s simply the way she was. She lived passionately. Intentionally. She valued experience, learned from and embraced the world around her, and never hesitated to fight for what she wanted.

  “Hey, you busy in the morning?” Isaac asked.

  “You tell me, boss.”

  “Nah, this isn’t work-related. I have to go to my parent’s house and let in the guy who’s fixing the roof. I thought you might want to tag along and see the place.”

  A surge of desire swelled in my chest. I likely would have agreed to go anywhere with Isaac just to keep him company. He was a good friend and he’d earned my loyalty. But seeing the house where Dani had grown up intrigued me in a way that surprised me. We’d dated close to a year; it was weird that we’d never traveled to Charleston together. But Dani had been so determined to make it in New York and to do it on her own. She didn’t make enough to afford the travel or the time off work, and she would have never let me fund the trip. It was hard enough to buy her dinner.

  To get an inside glimpse into Dani’s life, even after our breakup, felt like an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. I tried not to sound too eager. “Sure,” I said to Isaac, with a dismissive shrug. “I’ll come. I don’t have anything else to do.”

  Isaac gave me a knowing look and I grimaced. My feigned indifference must not have been too convincing.

  “You could call her, you know,” Isaac said, his eyes focused back on the video game screen. “Tell her you’re thinking about her.”

  I stood. “It’s not that easy. She still works for my stepfather. And that’s not a world I want to be in, even if she’s in it.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Dani

  Chase fell in step beside me as I hurried to the elevator. “That was the bravest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” he whispered.

  I bit my lip, determined to keep the tears at bay. Not for Chase’s benefit. He knew me well enough to handle tears, no matter their reason for falling. But I had too much pride for anyone else at LeFranc to see me skulk away with my tail between my legs. I leaned against the wall of the elevator while Chase pushed the button for the third floor. I almost stopped him. It felt so much easier to stop in the lobby and walk away without a backward glance. But my phone and my purse were both at my desk.

  “You okay?” Chase asked.

  I shrugged. “No. But I think I will be. Eventually.”

  “We can still find a way to make this right, Dani. You can’t stop fighting.”

  I shook my head. I could stop fighting. And that’s precisely what I was going to do. Because Sasha was right. I would never be cutthroat enough to make it in fashion. Especially not if cutthroat meant lying and cheating and stealing. “I can’t do this anymore, Chase. I’m so tired of her. I’m tired of pouring so much energy and time and hope into a job that has literally given me nothing in return.”

  “Don’t say that. It gave you me.”

  I managed a half-smile, then reached up and cupped my hand around his cheek. “That’s true. And I wouldn’t trade that for anything. But . . .”

  “Enough is enough?” he finished for me.

  “Enough is enough,” I agreed.

  Chase didn’t leave my side while I quickly gathered the few personal items I had on my desk, shoving them haphazardly into my fortunately oversized purse. A scarf slipped off the back of my chair and fell to the floor, and Chase picked it up. “I don’t like to see you giving up,” he said. “You might have lost the battle, Dani, but—”

  I held up a hand, cutting him off. “If you tell me I can still win the war I’m going to kick you in the shins.”

  He draped the scarf around my neck. “But maybe you still can. It might take a little time, but we’ll think of something.” He glanced over his shoulder, lowering his voice. “That woman is building a glass castle. Remember, she still has to launch an entire line of wedding gowns—now, without you. Eventually, someone important will see her for who she truly is. Lying can only get you so far.”

  “I appreciate your optimism, but she’s sleeping with the boss, Chase. She can lie all she wants, and no one will stop her.”

  His shoulders slumped, but he perked right back up, shaking away his doubt. “No. Truth has to prevail eventually. I’ll talk to the other designers. Sasha may be in Alicio’s bed, but if enough of us are on your side, well, he can’t exactly run the company without us.”

  He was sweet to try. But I was a nobody. And in a place like New York City, there was always another nobody ready to take your place the second you lost your footing. Chase cared because he was my friend. But everyone else? They wouldn’t think of me again the minute I was out the door, which meant they definitely wouldn’t go up against the boss’s bride-to-be for my sake.

  I was halfway across the design floor, aiming for the elevator, my burgeoning purse over my shoulder, my coat draped over my arm, when I ran into Sasha. I stopped in front of her and the room around us grew silent, all eyes turned toward us.

  “I am so sorry to see you go, Dani,” Sasha said. She reached out and adjusted my scarf, her perfectly manicured fuchsia nails a nauseating contrast against the deep, winter-green. “Of course, I understand these things happen, and like I said”—her voice grew louder, like she wanted to make sure the entire office could hear her—“the minute you need a recommendation, you let me know. You know I have nothing but the kindest things to say about your work as an assistant.”

  I clenched my jaw. In a move almost bolder than when I’d quit in the first place, I shoved past her, ramming h
er with my bag. “Go to hell, Sasha.”

  “Do you really have to leave?” Paige sat on the end of my bed while I pulled things out of my bureau, shoving them haphazardly into the suitcases and boxes lining the floor against the wall. “You know Chase would let you crash on his couch. At least until you find another job.”

  I shook my head. “I can’t do that to Chase and Darius.” It was possible I was running away. But I’d tell my made-up truths as long as I could if it meant not having to face my real ones. And my made-up truths were this: Our lease was up at the end of the month. I could not afford to renew a lease and live in New York without a job. With Paige mostly moved out already—bouncing between Reese’s place and her nannying job—it didn’t make sense for her to renew the lease without me. Moving out was the only option, which actually fit my needs perfectly. Because leaving was all I felt like doing. “Another job as what, a secretary? No way.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You’re being so stubborn about this. LeFranc is not the only designer in town. You could find another job in fashion.”

  Maybe she was right. But LeFranc had been my dream. And with that dream completely shattered and ground into powder, it was hard to think about working anywhere else. Not when I’d come so close. “You know I don’t have the cash to stay, Paige. I have two hundred dollars in my savings account. Even if I did manage to find a job and a cheaper place, there’s no way I could cover a security deposit and first month’s rent.”

  “But I could help,” Paige said. “Go in for the first couple of months until you can find another roommate.”

  “You’re sweet to offer, but you know that doesn’t make any sense. You’re getting married in less than three months. You need to save as much cash as you can. And you’re basically living at Reese’s now anyway. There’s no reason to keep this place.”

  Paige collapsed onto the bed, pulling me down beside her and weaving my arm through hers. “I could call my dad. I wouldn’t even have to tell him it was for you. I can fake a reason to need a few thousand dollars. You know he’d send it.” She propped herself up on her elbow, shooting me a pointed look. “Or you could just ask your parents. Why haven’t we discussed that option yet?”

  “No. Absolutely not. If I ask my parents for cash, they’ll freak out and panic and race home from Europe to save me. Which is exactly what I don’t need. And we can’t ask your parents because they’ll tell my parents. I don’t want anybody’s help, Paige. This was my dream. My choice. That means it’s my failure, too. I have to own it.”

  “You haven’t failed, Dani. It’s just a little setback.”

  I shrugged, pulling her back down so we lay side by side again. I leaned my head onto her shoulder. “Maybe. But either way, a break might be good for me. I miss Charleston. Going home could be good.”

  “Except you aren’t going home. You’re going to Isaac’s. That’s totally different.”

  I’d actually checked the availability on my parent’s house to see if it was vacant, but it was booked solid until Christmas. At least Isaac had a house big enough to accommodate me. At least, I hoped he did. He did have five roommates. “Isaac’s will just be a place to sleep. Charleston is home. The beach is home. I need that right now.”

  We lay there silently for a few moments until Paige asked, “How are you going to face him, Dani?” She didn’t have to explain that she was asking about Alex.

  My head started pounding, a nauseating thump thump reverberating in my ears and behind my eyes. Showing up on Isaac’s doorstep was going to be hard enough. He’d probably howl with laughter, but he’d eventually be nice. But Alex? How would I ever admit that all along, he’d been right about Sasha?

  “I have no idea,” I finally answered. “He’s too good to say I told you so, which is almost worse.”

  “You still haven’t called Isaac yet, have you?”

  I pulled a pillow from behind me and slid it over my face.

  “Dani. You have to call him. You can’t just show up.”

  “Why not? I actually think my odds are better if I do. I mean, he can’t refuse me if I’m standing on his porch with a suitcase.”

  “Yes, he totally can. And that would be a lot more embarrassing.”

  “He wouldn’t do it. He’s my brother. Even if all he can offer is a couch, he can’t leave me out in the cold.”

  “Especially as ferocious as the winters are in Charleston. You’d definitely freeze to death.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Shut up.”

  “Want to know why I think you won’t call him?”

  I peeked an eye out from behind the pillow. “Why?”

  She sat up, pulling the pillow off my face and holding it in her lap, her legs crossed under her. She cleared her throat. “Even though you doubt whether or not Isaac will let you move in, you feel one hundred percent confident that Alex will not let him turn you out. He will advocate for you no matter what. And that makes you happy, because Alex, but also angry and annoyed and frustrated, because Alex. Alex who is still firmly on your hate list and therefore not able to do anything nice for you. Or be in any place where he might try to further convince you that he’s actually very sorry for hurting you so thoroughly because, again, hate list. You pointed out the fact that he was actually right about Sasha and you were wrong but knowing it doesn’t make it burn any less, so that’s still an issue. To make things even more complicated, a part of you wants to go to Isaac’s because Alex is there and you still, maybe, a tiny bit love him. If you call and ask and Isaac says no? Then there’s no possibility of an Alex and Dani future. And you like the idea of a possibility.”

  I sat up. “Are you seriously some sort of a crazy-pants, mind-reading genie?”

  She grinned. “I am exactly that. At least when it comes to you.”

  I sighed. “I don’t know about all the Alex and Dani future stuff. That . . . feels like too much for my heart to process. But you’re right that he will make Isaac be nice to me.”

  “Yes. Yes, he will,” Paige said.

  “And I will have to tell him the truth about Sasha.”

  “Yes. Yes, you will.”

  I groaned. “I hate Sasha.”

  “Oh, me too. Maybe even more than you do.”

  I was lucky that was all Paige had to say about Sasha. She’d handled the theft of her wedding dress better than I’d expected.

  “Hey, before we start packing again, I need to tell you something.” She sounded serious enough, I started to worry.

  “Okay.”

  She winced. “My mom made me buy a back-up dress.”

  I froze. “A what?”

  “Please don’t be mad. I had every faith in your ability to make me a dress, but Mom wasn’t so sure. The last time I was in Charleston, we went shopping and I bought another dress. Just in case.”

  It maybe shouldn’t have stung so badly. It wasn’t Paige’s idea. But after all I’d been through, it felt like one emotional blow too many.

  “Wow.”

  “It was long before you finished yours, Dani. And it isn’t half as pretty, I promise. Nothing is as gorgeous as that dress. I’m only telling you now because I don’t want you to have to worry about making me another one.”

  I was worried about making her another one. I’d been counting yards of fabric and lace and cataloging pearl buttons all afternoon trying to see if I had enough to duplicate the first dress. I didn’t, not by a long shot. And since the lace I’d used had been a vintage remnant, the likelihood of finding the same pattern was slim. If I had access to LeFranc’s resources, I could probably find someone to duplicate it, but that would take weeks. And dollars. And connections I no longer had. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t make it again with different lace. “I have to at least try.”

  “I know you could make me another dress, and I love you for that,” Paige said. “But I kind of feel like you’re going to have your hands full these next few months. I want you to focus on figuring your stuff out. If that means I don’t get a dress, I
don’t want you to worry. Plus, it’s my fault we lost the dress in the first place. If I hadn’t foisted it on Sasha, we might not be in the mess.”

  I dropped back down onto the bed with a huff. She was right. As much as I wanted to do it, remaking her wedding dress really couldn’t be at the top of my priority list. At least not higher than Find a place to live and a way to support myself. I reached over and grabbed Paige’s hand. “You’re a good friend, Paige.”

  “I am not. I’m the one that got you in this mess in the first place. I have no right to be mad.”

  I squeezed her fingers. “You looked stunning in that dress. I’ll never forget how perfect it was.”

  “Me neither.” She sighed.

  “I still hate your Mom.”

  “She never should have doubted you,” Paige said. “Come on. Buck up. You’ve got lots to pack before tomorrow morning.”

  “How about you do it for me?” I whimpered. I sounded like a toddler, but I was past caring. And Paige would love me anyway.

  “Eight in the morning, right? Is that when Chase is coming with the trailer?” Classic Paige. She was nothing if not unfailingly optimistic. She always had been. Which is why she was so good at counteracting my tendency to wallow in my bad moods. Forward motion, she always said. Just keep moving forward and eventually you’ll get somewhere.

  I let her pull me off the bed. “Yeah. I guess Darius says there’s room in his mom’s driveway, so it can stay there for a couple of weeks until Chase can drive it down.”

  “He’s really looking out for you, isn’t he?”

  I nodded. “He’s also a good friend.”

  Paige put her hands on her hips and surveyed the room. “You do shoes, I do sweaters?”

  I groaned. “Fine. But we’re getting gelato when we’re done.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Alex

  Dani and Isaac’s childhood home was in a community just north of the city. Wide sidewalks and large, looming oaks gave the neighborhood an idyllic feel that was entirely different from downtown. History was nice, but so was space. And houses less than two hundred years old.