Love Deserved (Rock N Roll Heiress Book 3)

by Kelli McCracken

  It was plausible enough, but I still sensed there was something more happening with her.

  “Uh oh. I know that look.”

  Darius’s voice broke my focus. I turned to look at him just as he and Bentley joined me. Each took a stool on either side of me.

  “What look?” I asked as I watched him and Bentley nod at each other and scoff.

  “You’re thinking about talking to Mia again, aren’t you?”

  I shrugged. “So what if I am? It’s been two weeks since the last time we spoke.”

  Bentley snorted and ordered a round of drinks as Darius massaged his temples. “If you had listened to me last time, you and Mia might have made amends by now. You’re a stubborn shit.”

  “On occasion.” My response was snarky, but I didn’t care. I appreciated the fact they were watching out for me, but this was something I had to do on my own, and that included listening to my gut. Something deep down inside of me said something was going on with Mia, and whatever it was, it was imperative that I know.

  “What’s going through that thick head of yours today?” Bentley jested.

  “Same shit as every other day. Mia is hiding something from me.”

  Sliding two of the glasses across the bar, he passed one to Darius and the other to me. “What kind of proof do you need to know it’s not cancer?”

  “I need Mia to tell me the truth. Her behavior and actions are enough of clue that something is wrong. Cancer is the only thing that makes sense. I feel like she’s pushing me away because she’s afraid of dying and she doesn’t want to put me through the pain of losing her.” I laughed at my answer as I thought about the irony of the situation. “Doesn’t she realize I’m already in pain? Each day we’re apart . . .”

  Unable to finish, I lifted my glass and took a long drink. I sounded like an old sap. Never in my life had I been this open about how I felt for a woman. Bentley had been with me when Izzy and I broke up. Of course, that breakup was different. I hated her for what she did to me. I didn’t hate Mia. I loved her.

  “So what are you plotting?” Darius asked this time.

  Bentley chuckled. “He has that wild look in his eyes, doesn’t he.” When he glanced away from Darius, he peered at me. “What’s your game plan?”

  “I’m going to talk to her.”

  Both of my friends observed each other before they refocused on me. “What makes you think she’ll talk to you this time?”

  I hesitated before I gave them an answer. “I don’t know if Mia will talk to me today, but even if she doesn’t, I know she still loves me.”

  “What makes you think so?” Darius glanced at Bentley as both waited for my response.

  “Despite what’s happened between us, Mia’s still wearing her engagement ring. That has to mean something. Right?”

  They seemed lost for words when they nodded. I didn’t need them to agree, and I sure as hell didn’t need their approval. Mia and I both had said harsh things to each other. Yet she hadn’t removed my grandmother’s ring. Why else would she be wearing it if she didn’t plan to marry me?

  “I’ve been going about this the wrong way, but I know what I need to do. I’ll catch up with you guys later.”

  I heard Bentley ask me if I was sure about this, but I ignored him and made my way toward Mia. She was still sitting at the end of the left bar like she and Andi always did when they were working. Tonight, she was alone.

  Andi was busy greeting a well-known band that was here to perform in a few hours. The way Mia cleaned up her work area and closed her laptop, I assumed she was finished for the evening.

  Perfect.

  Only a few bar stools remained between us when I noticed her rub her neck. A moment later, she lowered her hands and rested both in her lap. It wasn’t until I rounded the corner of the bar that I realized she was holding her stomach.

  Fear paralyzed me, preventing me from taking another step. Was she sick? Questions spiraled through my mind as I observed her. I didn’t speak or move. I thought the worst.

  Then she stroked her stomach with her fingertips.

  The blood in my veins grew as cold as ice. Every nerve came to life and pulsed with the rhythm of my heart. One thought rolled through my head, one that I denied was possible. And just as the realization sank in, she glanced my way.

  Our eyes locked as I took one step closer, still denying what was in front of me. I had to be wrong. Mia would never hide something like this. Yet the longer I stared at her, the more I couldn’t help but wonder if my assumption was right.

  Was Mia pregnant?

  ~Mia~

  My phone vibrated against the bar as my alarm went off. I refused to work all day, not when a good friend was in town. It had been years since Stevie and her band had been at Music Haven. Anytime she was in town, we always got together before and after the show.

  Andi messaged earlier to let me know they were getting settled into their suites. I couldn’t wait to see her in a couple of hours. Work kept me from greeting them this time, but I knew they were in good hands.

  Being around Stevie always made me think of my mom. They formed a friendship years ago before I was born. Whenever we got together, Stevie would always tell me funny stories. Some of them I’d heard before, but I didn’t mind hearing them again. Thinking about my mom made me smile, and I knew Stevie loved my mother.

  Maybe she could give me some advice about Ayden.

  The light above me caught in the diamond on my finger. I glanced at my ring, questioning why I was still wearing it. After refusing to talk to Ayden, I should have taken it off. Every time I tried, my heart felt as though it were splintering.

  As I closed out of my programs and turned off my computer, I gathered the rest of my things. I need to shower and change before this evening, but I’d hold off until I met with the department heads in an hour.

  Rubbing at the tension in my shoulders, I considered scheduling an appointment with the community masseuse. All the stress from the last few weeks had caught up with me. Maybe now was the time I should—

  Something in my abdomen fluttered. I placed my hands below my navel, curious what the sensation was. The book I was reading explained how women could feel the baby as early as sixteen weeks in some pregnancies. I was closing in on seventeen. Was it possible I had felt my baby move?

  Patting my belly, I caressed my shirt as I thought about my little one. I’d wanted this child for so long. I feared losing it. What happened with my sister didn’t help ease my mind.

  Feeling eyes upon me, I gazed toward the spot where Ayden was sitting. He wasn’t there. Instead, he stood a few feet away. He stared at my hands a moment, then his eyes met mine. When his nostrils flared, I lowered my hands to my side.

  This wasn’t good.

  “Mia?”

  “Hello, Ayden. Is there something I can do for you?”

  He shook his head as he studied me again. “Can I talk to you?

  I thought about saying no, but it was pointless. I needed to know what was on his mind. I prayed he hadn’t figured out the truth, because if he had—

  “Please. Just hear me out. I promise not to take up too much of your time.”

  “I’m listening.” My reply was short. I didn’t want to say more than I needed to. At this point, I had no idea what he was about to say. He had approached me long before he saw me pat my belly.

  His eyes showed so much emotion as they stared into mine. It made my breath hitch. I was far from being over him. Every second I spent in his presence warned me as much.

  “Mia, I love you with everything in me, but I know I’ve said things to hurt you more than once.” His throat wobbled as he paused a moment. “As much as it hurts to think you don’t want to be with me, I would rather be your friend than not have you in my life. Is that possible?”

  “For us to be friends?” I asked to make sure I understood him. When he nodded, I was unsure what to say. So I nodded.

  He pressed his hand to his stomach and released a
breath. “May I speak freely, as a friend?”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ve noticed changes in you, even before I left on tour. You say you don’t have cancer. Right?”

  Now was my chance to set the record straight. I could tell him the truth, or let him believe whatever he wanted. Hopefully, he would accept whichever answer I gave him. I still worried he wasn’t ready for kids.

  “I don’t have cancer. I’m under a lot of stress. Aside from the workload I’m carrying, this stuff with you and me is driving me insane.”

  “Okay.” He glanced at the floor and grew quiet. A second later, he stepped toward me. His gaze lowered to my stomach. It lingered with his next few steps. Then he looked at me once more. “Are you pregnant?”

  My heart sank. No matter how much I wanted to tell Ayden the truth, the words wouldn’t come out. It was more than my fear of him not wanting kids. I knew he would be angry with me for keeping it a secret.

  “No. I’m not pregnant.”

  The words made me want to vomit. I just royally screwed up and gave Ayden a reason not to trust me. Why was I so afraid to do this? I loved him. He loved me. We created this child because of that love.

  Even if he didn’t want kids yet, he would accept his responsibility. I had no doubt. It was the thought of putting our child through whatever backlash its existence would cause. Izzy did her best to separate us at every turn. I didn’t know how she would react to my pregnancy, and it terrified me.

  “If you don’t have cancer and you’re not pregnant, why were you holding your stomach?”

  “My belly was rumbling. I haven’t eaten since breakfast, which consisted of toast. Once I grab some lunch, I’ll be fine.”

  Ayden’s brows knitted as he studied me. He didn’t appear convinced by my answer, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep lying. All of this would end if I could find the courage to tell him his child was inside of me.

  “Murderer.”

  The distinct sound of my sister’s voice penetrated the friction building between Ayden and me. He turned to face Izzy, partially blocking my view. I saw enough of her face to see the anger it contained and the icy glare she was giving us.

  “What did you say?” Ayden spoke before I could.

  Her cold gaze drifted past him and fell on me. Then she pointed her finger in my direction. “You’re in love with a murderer, Ayden. She’s the reason our baby is gone.”

  He glanced at me, face wrinkled in confusion. When I covered my mouth to hide my trembling lips, he confronted Izzy once more. “For starters, you came at Mia, swinging. I pulled her out of the way, causing you to miss and lose your balance. If anyone is to blame for your miscarriage, it’s me. Leave your sister out of this.”

  “She hasn’t heard the last of this. Not by a long shot.” Hissing the words, she gave me one last scowl. The hate she felt for me made her eyes gleam. After shaking her head at Ayden, she flipped us off and marched toward the center of the bar.

  Once she disappeared from our sight, Ayden turned to face me. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” My voice shook. I hated that he was here to witness what just happened.

  “Don’t let her get to you. She’s good at placing blame, not accepting it.”

  When he came closer, I held my breath. Being near him made me weak. It made me struggle with my decision to tell him the truth, especially now that he was suspicious.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  He gazed lower again. As much as I wanted to hide my belly from him, I didn’t dare touch my stomach. There would be nothing left to question. I hoped like hell he hadn’t noticed the tiny protrusion that I discovered this morning. I was definitely showing now, and if it weren’t for the double-layered shirt I had on, it would be visible.

  When he touched my shoulder, I tensed. I didn’t miss the way he grimaced or the way he stepped back, giving me space again. The part of me that loved him wanted to blurt out the truth. The part of me that feared his reaction, as well as my sister’s, kept me from opening my mouth.

  “I won’t keep you. I just wanted you to know how I feel. If you want to throw away what we have, I can’t stop you, but I’m not giving up on us.”

  He didn’t say anything else. Instead, he pivoted on his heel and walked back toward the bar where Bentley and D were sitting. Both looked at Ayden with concern once he rejoined them.

  I hated this. The guilt. The lying. The unknown. In a perfect world, I’d tell Ayden I was pregnant, he’d forgive me for keeping the secret, and we’d live happily ever after.

  Nothing about this world was perfect.

  No matter how much I wanted to tell Ayden the truth, there were too many risks to factor into the equation. Ayden plus me equaled what I hoped would be a beautiful, healthy baby. But my sister was hell-bent on dividing us.

  My lie would do the same.

  Chapter 5

  ~Mia~

  “How much do you hate me?”

  D’s voice filtered through my thoughts as I looked away from my tablet. I glanced around backstage, hoping to find someone who I could approach to avoid this conversation, but only a few people came into view and they were rushing about working. It would be pointless to stop production just because I wasn’t prepared for a conversation I knew would come up again.

  Clearing my throat, I glanced back at my tablet when I answered him. “I don’t hate you.”

  “Says the woman who can’t look me in the eye.”

  His sarcasm got the best of me. When I looked his way, I narrowed my gaze. “You know I’ve been struggling with my decision on whether to continue my relationship with Ayden or end it. Why would you set me up to think I was dancing with you? I let my guard down, and you took advantage of it.”

  “That wasn’t my intention. I thought I was helping two people who are in love, two people too stubborn to forgive—or forget—each other.”

  My lips were pursed with another response, but I lost all train of thought. D had spoken the truth, and I was too proud to admit it. Ayden and I did love each other, and we’d both shared a stubborn streak in our relationship. I wanted to give in and tell him how much I needed him.

  Yet so many things threatened our happiness. My sister’s instability scared me, and I feared what she would do to my child or me. She blamed me for the death of hers. Did that mean she would try to hurt my baby?

  “D, there’s a lot more at stake than you realize. My sister is like a bomb in countdown mode. She’s going to explode when we least expect it and it’s not going to be pretty. I can’t risk Ayden’s life, my life, or anyone staying in this community. That includes you.”

  “So you’re going to live the rest of your life worrying about what Izzy will do? That’s what she wants, Mia. She wants you to be miserable and afraid. Don’t let her do this to you.”

  If he knew about the baby, would he give me the same advice? I couldn’t tell him before Ayden, and I couldn’t admit how much this was killing me. I hated it.

  “Mia, if you don’t plan on working things out with Ayden, why in the hell are you still wearing the man’s ring?”

  Leaning my back against the wall, I stared at the diamond on my finger and thought about his question. I hadn’t taken off the ring because I still wanted what it offered—a life with Ayden. “Believe me, I’ve thought about removing it several times.”

  “Then why haven’t you?” He placed his hand on the wall beside my head and lowered his head toward mine. When I didn’t answer, he pointed his finger at me. “You love him, Mia. That’s why you haven’t taken off his ring. It’s time to make things right or end it. Don’t string him along.”

  My eyes burned as they watered. I wasn’t trying to lead Ayden on or give him false hope. For D to accuse me of doing as much angered me. He was making a lot of assumptions off little information, and I had no one to blame but myself.

  “You have no idea what all of this is doing to me. It hurts like hell, but my relationship with Ayden has been rocky for months.”r />
  “And we both know why. Wesley and Izzy. They’ve done a lot of things to keep you guys apart. Still, you two keep making your way back to each other.”

  “Izzy is determined to keep Ayden and me apart. She called me a murderer earlier when Ayden came to talk to me.”

  For the first time since our conversation began, D grew speechless. As he eased away from me, his eyebrows squished together and he shook his head. “Your sister is a drama queen and a psycho. Don’t listen to anything she says. She’s screwing with you.”

  “I know who and what she is. Hell, she’s the one who drugged me the night Wesley snuck his friend into my suite. Right after Ayden and I reunited, she announced she was pregnant. We barely had time to adjust to the news when she had a miscarriage. Trust me, I know my sister isn’t stable.”

  “Is this what’s keeping you from reconciling with Ayden?”

  “No. There’s more, but I can’t talk about it right now. I need to talk to Ayden first.”

  “Good.” D motioned toward the front of the arena. “I passed Ayden a little while ago. He’s on his way to his suite. Go talk to him, Mia. Tell him everything, including how you’re worried about Izzy. Work this out.”

  “You don’t understand—”

  “Quit stalling. You and Ayden can work through whatever comes your way. You owe it to yourself to try.”

  No matter how much I wanted to tell him he was wrong, I didn’t. It’s because I wanted him to be right. I wanted nothing more than a happy life with Ayden and our child, but I feared I’d already screwed it up. I lied to him about being pregnant. Would he forgive me?

  There was only one way to find out.

  ~Ayden~

  This whole ordeal with Izzy had my head screwed up. I couldn’t believe I had accused Mia of being pregnant. When she told me her belly was rumbling, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. I was an idiot, and I’d proven to her how big of one I was.