The City Girl's Homecoming

by Kathy Douglass

  Dinner had been fun with Megan joining in the conversation. It had felt so right having her there. It was as if she was a member of the family. And though he knew he was getting ahead of himself, there had been a couple of times he’d actually pictured her there permanently. Maybe he’d been wrong to judge her based upon where she’d been born and raised. People couldn’t control their place of birth. And who was he to judge someone based upon their career?

  He’d encountered many people who’d talked down to him, assuming that because he was a farmer he was uneducated. It wasn’t true, of course. He had an education. He’d chosen to be a farmer because he enjoyed it. He hadn’t felt compelled to change his career because of what someone else thought of him. It was just as wrong to make assumptions about Megan simply because she’d chosen to become a lawyer.

  Cade closed the accounting book and slid it into the center desk drawer. They were still operating on budget, which always put Cade in a good mood. He glanced at his watch and stood. It was almost time for Megan to arrive. After taking a quick shower, he drove to the barn. He stepped inside just as Megan finished pouring food into the bowls. The number of animals staying on the farm was dwindling. Two more dogs had been dropped off at the shelter a couple of days ago. Bella, Felix and Pee-Wee had already been adopted. Megan’s eyes had filled with tears when she’d told him they had been rehomed. She should have been happy, but they hadn’t been tears of joy. It had taken him a minute to figure out why. Though she was glad the animals had found families, she was sad to know that she probably wouldn’t see them again. She loved them and now they were lost to her.

  “Hey.” Megan smiled as he walked into the barn. As usual, she was friendly, although she hadn’t touched him again.

  “Hi. How was your day?”

  “Great. How about yours?”

  “Busy.” The conversation should have been mundane, and it would have been had he been talking to anyone other than Megan. Nothing was dull if it involved her. The only thing that mattered was her presence. Being with her eased the loneliness that had consumed him for a long time. Spending time with Megan at the end of the day felt right, and despite himself, he’d begun to imagine what his life would be like if she came home to the farm and him every day. He told himself to knock it off, but he was fighting a losing battle. He liked Megan.

  When they finished with the dogs, they went into his father’s house. As usual, Reginald was in the kitchen. He looked up and smiled. “Well, if it isn’t my sous chef.”

  Megan saluted. “At your service.”

  “Well, I don’t need your help tonight. I have it all handled. As a matter of fact, I’ll have dinner on the table in five minutes, so go wash your hands. Both of you.”

  Cade and Megan walked side by side to the powder room. The heat from her body gently caressed his, awakening his desire. There was something intimate about sharing soap and then rinsing their hands at the same time. He was standing so near to her that he inhaled the fragrance of her shampoo with each breath.

  Reginald was setting a basket of homemade rolls on the table as Megan and Cade returned to the kitchen. Cade pulled out Megan’s chair and then sat down across from her. As usual, the conversation was lively, and Megan told a funny story or two. After dinner, Reginald stood. “I hate to eat and run, but my favorite program is coming on in about ten minutes, so I’m going to leave you good people now.”

  “Would you like to go for a walk, or have you had enough of the outside for the day?” Cade asked Megan when they were alone.

  “I work in an office. You’re the one who spent the day outside, so the question is, have you had enough?”

  He extended a hand. She took it and they walked outside. Her palm was so soft and warm, especially against his callused one.

  The weather was pleasant and a cool breeze blew. The sun was beginning to set and birds were chirping in the trees. He wanted to show her more of his farm. There was so much to see, but rather than choose which direction they went, he asked her preference.

  “You know what I’d really like to do?” she asked. Her voice sounded tentative, almost sheepish.

  He smiled to encourage her. “What?”

  “I’d like to walk down the driveway until we reach the glider. Then I’d like to just sit and swing.”

  “We can do that.”

  “It is so peaceful here,” Megan said as they strolled through the silent night.

  “I thought it might be too slow for you.”

  “Because I’m from New York?”

  “Yes.”

  “Believe it or not, New Yorkers actually enjoy quiet moments. Just because there’s something to do just about every hour of every day doesn’t mean we actually do everything. Sure, I liked going to plays and concerts, but I also enjoyed sitting on my couch and reading in the evenings.”

  “I guess I’m guilty of stereotyping.”

  She nodded.

  They reached the glider and sat down. When his mother had been alive, she and his father had spent many warm evenings sitting on the glider, watching as the stars came out. Since her death, no one sat here. As he set the swing in motion, it occurred to Cade that not enjoying it had been a mistake. That was not the way to honor his mother. She wouldn’t have wanted somewhere she found pleasure to sit unused and unloved. This place, filled with memories of his mother, was the perfect place to get to know Megan better.

  He glanced over at her. She’d closed her eyes and was leaning against the back of the swing. “Would you tell me more about yourself? I feel like I know the outlines of your life, but I’d like to fill in the details if that’s okay with you.”

  Megan nodded, then sat up and blew out a long breath. She turned and looked at him. “I had the best family. My mom and dad were great and I had a super big brother. My earliest memory is of my mom polishing my toenails red. Mom was really glamorous. She was always dressed in the most beautiful clothes and she never had a hair out of place. Her nails were never chipped. Her makeup was impeccable. She was so gorgeous. She even looked good when she cleaned the house. I wanted to be just like her.”

  She raised her feet. Although she wore gym shoes, they were coordinated to match her shirt. He didn’t doubt that she had a perfect pedicure to match her manicure. Now that he understood why it mattered so much to her, he regretted judging her based on her appearance.

  “My dad called me his princess. When I was little, I would look out the window and wait for him to come home from work. The second he walked in the door I’d run to him and he’d pick me up and carry me on his shoulders. It felt so good to be taller than everyone else in the house. Even better was how good it felt to have my Daddy carry me. When I got older and was too big for him to put on his shoulders, I still waited for him to come home.

  “Marlon, my big brother, was so smart. He was the best baseball player I’ve ever seen. He was the star of the high school team and wanted to play in college. Siblings often don’t get along, but we did. He was my best friend and I could tell him anything. If I had a problem, he would help me solve it. He always watched out for me no matter what. When I was with him, I knew I was safe.

  “Mom and I spent every other Saturday morning together. We’d go shopping or to get our hair and nails done. Then we would go to lunch. At the same time my dad and brother were hanging out and doing what they wanted. The other Saturdays, my dad and I went places and my mom and brother spent the morning together. Dad always found the most fun things to do. We would go to the park and fly kites. Or we would go to a puppet show or matinee. Those days were special. And then they ended.”

  There were tears running down her face and he wished he had a handkerchief to give her. Since he didn’t, he did the next best thing and wiped away her tears with his fingers.

  “I’m so sorry that you lost them.”

  “It’s not fair.” The softly spoken words were a painful cr
y from her heart.

  “No, it’s not.”

  Still crying, she leaned her head against his chest. He put his arm around her trembling shoulders and held her, offering the only comfort he could. Gradually her tears slowed and she sniffled.

  “I didn’t mean to make you sad,” he apologized. “I shouldn’t have asked you to dredge up bad memories.”

  “The memories weren’t bad. They were the best. I just wish I could have had more time with my family.”

  “So do I.” He would give his right arm if it meant she could still have her family. But life didn’t work that way. There was nothing he could do to give her back her parents and brother.

  “After the accident, I was alone. Really alone. I already told you that my parents were only children so I didn’t have any aunts, uncles or cousins. Unfortunately I didn’t have any grandparents either. My mother’s parents had been really old when they’d had her and they died when I was little. I don’t remember much about them. My father had been raised by a single mother and she’d died of cancer before I was born. So I ended up in foster care.”

  He’d heard so many horrible things about foster care that his imagination immediately went into overdrive. “How was that?”

  “It wasn’t terrible. The people didn’t starve or beat me or anything like that, but I never felt at home with any of them. The first family actually sent me back after a few weeks. They said I was difficult and not trying to blend in. Remember I had just lost my entire family. I was in shock and not ready or able to be a part of someone else’s family. Not to mention that I had to move from my home and everything that was familiar to me. I even had to change schools.

  “The foster families always claimed that they considered me part of the family, but that wasn’t how they treated me or the other foster kids. We didn’t get the same attention or new clothes or any number of things that their biological kids got.”

  She sighed and stared at the horizon. He wished he knew what she was thinking. Feeling. “One family used me as their unpaid babysitter. They kept saying they let me watch their four-year-old twins because they trusted me, but really it was because I was free and had no choice. As soon as the kids started kindergarten, they sent me back. They didn’t need me anymore. I lived with another foster family until the wife found out she was pregnant. They sent me back, too. They didn’t need a pretend daughter anymore because they were about to have their own kid.”

  His heart ached for the way she’d been treated. His hand fisted in anger. “I’m sorry.”

  “I survived. For a while I tried to fit in, but after a while I knew it was futile. I’d had one family and I’d lost them. I wasn’t going to get another.” She paused and the finality of her words hit him in the gut.

  “Once I turned eighteen, I went to college and then law school. I was able to have my own place where I could cook what I wanted, watch what I wanted on television and buy quality clothes. Clothes my mother would have helped me pick out on our Saturday mornings together if she’d still been alive.

  “When I went into foster care, one of my father’s friends rented a storage unit for me so I was able to keep some of my parents’ things. Not much—the unit wasn’t that big. But I was able to hold on to a couple pieces of furniture and some of their favorite works of art. Some photo albums and some of my mother’s favorite jewelry and dresses. Mr. Wilson paid the fee every month until I was able to. When I got my first apartment I filled it with my memories. It was almost like getting part of my family back.”

  He didn’t know what to say, so he didn’t say a word.

  “You pretty much know the rest. I worked for a while and then I moved to North Carolina.”

  “I’m very glad you did.” He was becoming happier about that with each passing day.

  As they sat there together, Cade realized that something he’d once believed was impossible was happening. He was falling for Megan. She was sweeter than he’d imagined. But letting his feelings for her continue to grow would be a mistake of colossal proportions. It would be one thing to fall for her if he actually believed she would stay in town. But he didn’t. The wise thing to do would be to keep her at a distance and protect his heart.

  * * *

  Megan couldn’t believe she’d told Cade so much about herself. She never revealed the details about her past to anyone. Sure, she’d spoken about her family and time in foster care in general terms, but never with the emotion that she’d let flow from her today. And the tears. She never cried. At least not where anyone could see her. Yet just now with Cade, her guard had come tumbling down, and when the words had fallen from her mouth she’d been unable to stop them. She’d revealed too much of herself. Though she tried to hold it back, a stray tear slipped from her eye and she attempted to wipe it away before he noticed.

  She sneaked a look at Cade. He was staring into space as if digesting what he’d heard. Would knowing the details of her life change his impression of her? Some people looked down on foster children as if the fact that they had spent time being raised by other people made them defective. Undesirable. As if it was their fault their families had died. He hadn’t seemed to react that way, but it was impossible to know what another person felt unless they told you.

  She’d shared so much about herself. It was only fair that he do the same. Knowing more about him would help her to feel less vulnerable. “I just told you about my life. Do you mind telling me about yours? I know you have a brother named Chase, but all I know about him is his name. Is he older? Younger? Married? Single? Do you guys get along?”

  “All of these questions about Chase. Should I be worried?”

  What did that mean? Did it mean that he was considering them as more than friends? Was he hinting that he had romantic interest in her? Or was she reading more into the statement than he meant? “Nope. I just want to know more about you. Learning about your family is one way to do that.”

  “I know. I was just kidding. Chase is two years older than I am. And just like you and your brother, we get along well. We’re pretty good friends although we don’t see each other as often as I’d like since he lives in Raleigh and I live here. Even so, we talk all the time and get together for dinner or just to hang out a couple times a month.”

  “Okay.” Megan looked at Cade. He looked so calm. One of the things she admired about him was his confidence and self-assurance. “What about you? I know your father is transferring ownership of the farm to you and Chase. Have you always wanted to run the farm, or did you want to go somewhere else and see the rest of the world?”

  He gave her an odd look and stiffened just the tiniest bit. She wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t been leaning against him. Why had he reacted that way to a perfectly normal question?

  “I did leave the farm. I got a degree in agricultural science from North Carolina State University in Raleigh. I liked college and enjoyed the time I lived in Raleigh, but I always intended to return to the farm. Battle Lands has been in my family for generations. I feel a connection to my ancestors in every acre.”

  Megan sighed. She’d give anything to have someplace in the world where she knew without a doubt that she belonged. A place with a connection so deep that she could reach back and touch the people who’d come before her. Instead she was rootless. For the past fourteen years life had been a strong wind, blowing her from pillar to post. She longed for good soil like here on Cade’s farm where she could sink in and grow roots. If she ever found such a place she’d be able to flourish with the knowledge that she was wanted and that she actually had a place to call home.

  She liked the little house she was renting. It was charming and cozy and she felt at peace there. But still, she longed for a home filled with laughter like the one where she’d lived for the first fourteen years of her life. A home filled with people who cared for and supported each other. She wanted a husband and kids she could love with her whole heart
and who would love her the same way in return. Over the years she’d made good friends, but friends, no matter how close, didn’t fill the empty place in her heart that craved a family.

  Once more she glanced at Cade. Could he be a part of that family? Could she find a forever home with him on the Battle Lands Farm? More and more she was starting to wonder if she’d finally found a place to belong, and the hope she’d thought had died began to grow.

  But then reality set in. This farm wasn’t her home any more than any of the foster homes had been. To hope or dream otherwise was only setting herself up for more pain.

  They sat in silence for a while. As it grew later, the moon was joined in the sky by hundreds of bright stars. Cade covered a yawn and she knew it was time to leave. “I guess I had better get a move on. I don’t want to overstay my welcome.”

  Cade stood and helped her get to her feet. “It is getting pretty late. We’d better get you back to your car.”

  She’d hoped he’d say something about how she was always welcome, but he didn’t. Although he’d held her hand when they’d walked out here earlier, once she was standing, he let go of her hand and shoved his into the pocket of his jeans.

  Had she said something wrong? She replayed the conversation. Nothing stood out. She hadn’t insulted him or been rude. Once more she questioned the wisdom of revealing so much of herself to him. Perhaps she should have done what she usually did and glossed over her time in foster care and focused on her life after college and law school. Still, she didn’t regret telling him the truth. She wasn’t ashamed of her past. If he couldn’t handle knowing, that was his shortcoming, not hers.

  When they reached her car, he held the door for her as he always did. “Call me when you get home so I’ll know you arrived safely.”

  “I will.” She looked out the rearview mirror and saw him standing there. What she wouldn’t give to be standing there beside him.