“He’s doing great,” Sue confirmed. “He’s healthy and strong. He’s always been popular at school, too, so I’m not worried about this new school at all. He’s nervous, but he’ll do great.”
Ember nodded quickly, and she looked over at Sue, her eyes brimming with tears. “Thank you for being his mom,” she whispered.
“Thank you for giving me the honor,” Sue said, and she wrapped her arms around Ember. The women clung to each other for a moment. Then Sue released her and stepped back. “If you’re going to be in the area, Ted and I had better have a talk with Steven about you.”
“I won’t get in the way,” Ember said quickly.
“But he’ll want to know you, too,” Sue replied. “He’s been asking more about you lately, and it just seems—the timing seems providential, is all.”
“A little,” Ember agreed with a misty smile.
“Here—” Sue dug into her purse and pulled out a card. “That’s my cell phone number. Call me if you want to. I guess you know where to find us. But give us a few weeks to have some talks with Steven first, if you don’t mind.”
“That’s fine.” Ember nodded quickly. “Thanks. This is my card.”
Ember pulled out her own and passed it over. Sue scanned it, her eyebrows rising. “Therapist?”
“I got that degree, and then some,” Ember said.
“I’m happy for you, Ember.” A smile radiated over Sue’s face. “Really happy. You’ve done well for yourself. I hope all your dreams come true.”
“I’m not sure I deserve them—” The words were out before Ember could think better of them, and she felt heat rush to her face. She was saying too much.
“Deserve them?” Sue shook her head slowly. “Ember, you gave us the most personal, painful gift that anyone could give. You made it possible for me to be a mom. You chose me—and for that I will owe you my life. Being Steven’s mom—he’s my world. That sacrifice doesn’t make you weak, Ember. It makes you strong! You deserve happiness—the whole package. All of it! I don’t want to overstep here, but I’m going to be praying that God gives you all of your heart’s desires. Every last one!”
“Will he hate me?” Ember asked uneasily.
“Our Steven?” Sue shook her head. “He doesn’t know your name, but he knows that while his birth mom wasn’t in a place to be able to raise him, she loved him with her whole heart. So she made the hardest choice in the world and made our dreams come true instead of her own. He knows that his adoption was wrapped in love from the very start, and that his birth mom is our hero.”
A tear slipped down Ember’s cheek.
“Mom!” Steven’s voice sounded faintly from outside, and Ember’s heart leaped at the sound. Through the glass door, Ember could see Steven hanging out the window of the U-Haul.
Sue waved and smiled, then turned back to Ember. “I’d better go.”
Ember wiped the tear from her cheek. “Yes—they’re waiting.”
“We’ll be in touch, I’m sure,” Sue said, and with one last little flutter of her fingers in a wave, she walked from the diner and outside into the sunlight. Ember watched as she hopped up in the U-Haul truck and gave her son a kiss on his cheek.
Her son was loved, cherished even. And he was okay.
In her heart, instead of a newborn’s frantic wails, she thought she could hear a lullaby sung by a brand-new mom and dad who had never left her baby alone, not even for a minute. God had answered all of Ember’s prayers for her tiny boy through the love of adoptive parents.
Sue had loved Steven, opened her heart to him and anticipated all his needs. Even now—she was willing to give Steven a chance to get to know his biological mom...and why? Because he would need it.
Back on the Vern ranch, there were two baby boys who needed love. And maybe, just maybe, their mother had sent up one last prayer of her own, much like Ember’s. Was it possible to open her heart to those little boys and become the mom they needed so desperately? Could she be the answer to their mother’s heart-deep prayer like Sue had been for hers?
Ember felt something inside of her lift, and a new yearning took root in her heart. She was a mother—she always would be—but a mother’s heart grew with each child she loved. Maybe there was a chance that Ember could be a mother again.
She wasn’t ready to pray for that new yearning. She’d only just recognized it deep under all that pain. But maybe one day God would fulfill that wish, too.
But it wouldn’t be with Casey, much as she loved him. Even if she could accept his babies and be a mother to them, he couldn’t accept her career or her dreams for the future. It wouldn’t work. Not this time.
She’d just have to trust her heart to God.
* * *
Casey poured two mugs of coffee and nudged one in Bert’s direction across the kitchen table. Outside, the sun had set, but there was still a smudge of crimson along the horizon. Casey’s heart was heavy. Ember had left that morning, taking her bags with her, and she hadn’t said goodbye.
“So Mr. Vern sold the place, did he?” Bert asked, taking a sip of coffee.
“He accepted Ember’s offer this morning.” Casey sighed.
“I’m sorry you lost out on your chance to own this ranch, Casey. I know how much it meant to you,” Bert said.
“Yeah. Well.” What else was there to say?
“And that Miss Reed,” Bert went on. “There was something between you, wasn’t there?”
“It wouldn’t last,” Casey said. “She has her own issues around motherhood and she can’t be an adoptive mom to these boys. Obviously, that wouldn’t work between us.”
“Obviously,” Bert agreed. “Was that all?”
Casey smiled bitterly. “Whatever I feel for her, it isn’t enough, Bert. She and I want different things. I want to raise these boys on a ranch with cattle drives and morning chores. She wants to set up some therapy center...”
“What’s wrong with a therapy center?” Bert asked. “It’s something to help the families around here.”
“Families need to work!” Casey shot back. “They need employment and self-respect. I’m not saying this center wouldn’t be beneficial for the city folk who never get out into the open air, but for us? For the locals?”
Bert was silent. One of the babies started to whimper and Casey scraped his chair back and handed a prepared bottle to the old ranch hand. “Care to take a baby?”
“Sure.”
Casey went over to Will, who had woken up, big eyes blinking and his little mouth opening and shutting as he searched for milk.
“Hey, buddy,” Casey said softly, scooping him out of his cradle. “You hungry?”
Will let out a little frustrated cry, and Casey handed him to Bert, who expertly tucked the infant into the crook of his arm and popped a bottle into his mouth. Will slurped away immediately.
Then Casey went and picked up Wyatt. It was better to wake this sleeping baby and feed them both at the same time, or he’d be up every hour overnight feeding one baby at a time. Wyatt blinked his eyes open as Casey lifted him from his cradle and put him up onto his shoulder as he came back to the table.
“Fiona and I went to a therapist for the better part of a year,” Bert said after a moment, his eyes still pinned on the baby in his arms, slurping away on the bottle.
“You—” Casey cleared his throat. “Seriously?”
“It was after our daughter was killed in that car accident. We just couldn’t... It was too big of a loss, and we weren’t talking to each other because we didn’t want to make it worse, I guess, and it was just eating us up.”
“I didn’t realize that,” Casey said quietly, and he adjusted Wyatt in his arms and offered the baby his bottle.
“Therapists just help you talk about stuff,” Bert said. “I wasn’t any good at that. And if I hadn’t learned how, I wouldn’t have stayed married real long. So you
could say that therapist saved our marriage.”
Casey eyed the big cowboy, who still refused to look up. “Cowboys don’t talk much, Bert. We ride.”
“Well, maybe we should talk more,” the older man replied. “Maybe you should talk more.”
“Me?” Casey asked in surprise.
“What are you wanting to give those boys on a ranch?”
“A country upbringing,” he retorted. “You know what I’m talking about.”
“Yeah, well, spell it out for me,” Bert replied.
“I want them to learn perseverance, fortitude, morals, how to stick with something even when the weather’s against them,” Casey said. “All the stuff you learn when you’re raised on a ranch with chores and 4-H. It’s a priceless childhood.”
“And what about communication?” Bert asked. “Because that’s mighty important once these tykes grow up and get married. What about flexibility? What about softness?”
“I’ll throw that in, too, I guess. Or I’ll try,” Casey replied with a rueful smile. “What are you getting at, Bert? I’m not married yet. I don’t have a woman to bring in the feminine stuff for me.”
“You’re so focused on the upbringing you had, Casey, that you’re forgetting you had a mother who raised you with lessons of her own outside what you got from your father. Perseverance is important, but so is flexibility. I grew up watching my dad stay the course, and I never stopped to think that the course could change if you needed it to. Bending isn’t weakness, Casey. It’s making room for another person in your life.”
“And you think—” Casey started.
“I think you love her,” Bert finished for him. “And don’t even bother arguing that, because I know it’s true.”
“I’m not arguing,” Casey said with a sigh. “But, Bert, ranching is in my blood!”
“And that woman is in your heart,” Bert replied. “You want to raise those boys alone and teach them to be rock-hard cowboys? You can do it. Or you can raise them with a woman you love—a woman worth bending for—and you can teach them how to be successful in more than just their work. Because a home life matters, too. No cowboy is fully content coming back to an empty house. Those boys need to learn how to fill their hearts as well as their barns.”
Casey looked down at Wyatt’s face as he drank the last of the bottle. He put the bottle on the table, then tipped Wyatt up onto his shoulder to burp him. His mind was spinning.
“You know how long I’ve wanted to own my own ranch, Bert?” Casey asked, his voice tight.
“Yup,” Bert replied. “But life is long, and you’ve got a lot more years ahead of you than you do behind you. There will be other ranches, and who knows what the future holds? But will there be another woman who makes you feel like she does?”
“The pastor preached about Jericho’s walls,” Casey said. “They marched and they marched until they must have felt like they were going crazy. I’ve been marching, too—circling my own Jericho walls. After all that marching—to just give up—”
“There’s faith in God to answer our prayers,” Bert said, “and then there’s faith in God when He gives us the unexpected. Maybe you prayed for land, but God saw fit to give you a lifelong love instead.”
A lifelong love... It may very well be! Casey didn’t see any easy way to stop loving her, but she didn’t want what he could offer—and she didn’t want to be a part of this little family. It was very likely a lifelong love, and he’d be measuring women against her for the rest of his life, but it didn’t change those basic facts.
“It’s not going to work out, Bert,” Casey said gruffly.
Bert nodded. “Okay. Sorry to pry. I’ll keep my peace.”
But it got Casey to thinking...maybe there was more than one way to raise a kid right, and more than one way to find a heart-deep satisfaction in life. It had always been about the land before, but what if he had to choose between the dirt beneath his boots and the woman in his arms?
What if he’d been circling his Jericho walls and God had wanted to show him another way? What if God had other plans for his life that didn’t include a ranch to run? Would he have faith enough to follow?
Chapter Fifteen
Ember printed off the documents her lawyer sent her on the printer in the hotel office. She thanked the manager and left him a tip for his trouble. She spent the next hour reading over the contract, making sure she understood exactly what she was signing with her lawyer on the phone explaining the details. And when she was ready, she got in her car and followed her GPS to Vern Acres.
As she drove up to the main house, her heart was in her throat, and not because she was buying this ranch, either. Somehow, that personal achievement had paled in comparison to her feelings for Casey. She’d promised that she’d say goodbye, but this parting would be a difficult one.
Would he even be here? She’d called ahead and told Mr. Vern that she was coming. He’d asked if he could tell Casey, and she’d agreed. Would he want to see her? Or would he rather avoid her altogether? She wasn’t sure she’d blame him if he didn’t come...
Ember parked her car and got out. The warm air ruffled through her hair, and she looked around, soaking up the view. The trees, the looming jagged mountain peaks... One day soon this view would just be home. She started toward the house and the side door opened. It wasn’t Mr. Vern who came out, but Casey.
He’d come! Her breath caught in her throat as he stepped outside and headed toward her. That dark gaze locked on to hers, and he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her, not saying a word. His lips came down over hers, so warm and strong and confident. She closed her eyes and sank into his embrace...but this wouldn’t make their goodbye any easier. She reluctantly pulled back.
“No...” she said, her eyes brimming with tears. “Don’t toy with me, Casey. We’ve been through this—”
“I know.” He stepped back, his eyes still locked on hers pleadingly. “I’m sorry. I just—I’ll stop doing that when I see you in town or whatever. I promise.”
It was true—she’d see him around. Even if he didn’t work for her, maybe he’d work in the area. Ember looked down at the pages in her hands.
“The final papers?” Casey asked.
“Yeah...” She sucked in a breath. “Casey, I saw my son.”
He blinked at her, then squinted. “What?”
“The new pastor of the church and his wife—the Mitchells. That’s the couple who adopted my son ten years ago. And I saw them in Pop’s Diner.”
“You’re kidding!” Casey shook his head. “That must have been... Are you okay after that? Are you—I mean—” He didn’t seem to know how to put it all into words, but she could feel the depth of his concern.
“I’m okay,” she said. “It was so wonderful to see him. He’s tall for his age, I think. He’s got this headful of curly brown hair—it’s so cute. And the big brown eyes. He’s beautiful. And he’s happy. That was my biggest worry, that he’d be empty and searching because of what I did, but he’s not. He’s a happy kid. He’s definitely loved.”
“That’s awesome,” Casey said, and he reached a hand out and ran a finger down her cheek. “I’m glad you got that.”
“It changed things—” Ember wasn’t sure if it was even fair to bring this up. They’d already gone over why they’d never work as a couple, but she was still so overflowing from the experience that she felt she had to talk to someone, and there was no one but Casey who she wanted to share this with.
“Changed what?” he murmured, stepping closer.
“I prayed every day for my son,” she said softly. “I prayed so hard, and I loved him just as hard... I wanted to make up for not being there. But when I saw Sue and Ted again, and when she told me how they’d stayed up with him around the clock to make sure he didn’t feel alone in those first few days... Casey, they were the answer to my pr
ayers!”
“That’s beautiful,” he said quietly. “I like that.”
“And I know it doesn’t change anything else, Casey, but it does change whether or not I could be a mom again. I didn’t want to betray my son on some level, but I realized that he has a mom now—and it’s Sue.”
“Wait—” Casey’s voice lowered, and he put his hands on her shoulders. “Are you saying you’ve changed your mind about that?”
“Wyatt and Will had a mom,” Ember tried to explain. “If she were able, I’m sure her very last prayer would have been for her boys, too. Sue was the answer to my prayers, and if all things were equal, I think I’d like to be the answer to that mom’s prayers.” She blinked back tears. “But I know it doesn’t change the rest. I know that. I shouldn’t even have brought it up.”
Casey stepped closer again and ran a tendril of her hair through his fingers. “I’ve had a good talk with Bert, too.”
“His job—” she started.
“No, not about his job. He’s happy to retire, apparently. This was about me. He had a whole lot to say, and it all made sense. Thing is, I’ve been so focused on owning my own land for so long that I counted my own faith in God’s ability to give me my desires as if God had promised me that land. But what if God wants something different for me? What if—” Casey smiled hesitantly. “What if God had brought me the woman He’d created for me instead of giving me a ranch?”
Ember’s heart sped up in her chest, and she stared at Casey, dumbstruck.
“Thing is,” Casey went on, “I’ve wanted to teach the boys the perseverance and steadfastness you learn on a ranch—very important character traits, might I add. But Bert pointed out that flexibility will give them happy marriages.” He smiled regretfully. “And that’s important, too.”
“What are you saying, exactly?” Ember asked, shaking her head. “Because you’re going to have to spell this out for me—”
“I’m saying I love you,” Casey said, his voice cracking with emotion. “I’m saying that if you could love Wyatt and Will and raise them with me, then I can be flexible on the ranching issue. I can help you run your therapy center, and keep your clients alive long enough to sort out their family issues.”
Her Cowboy's Twin Blessings Page 17