Not a Player (Laketown Hockey Book 1)

by A. J. Wynter

“We have to talk, Jess.”

  He stepped away from me, far enough that I couldn’t have reached out to touch him, something that my body had been longing to do all night long. “About what?” My chest constricted. This didn’t sound good.

  “There you are.” Bronwyn interrupted the conversation and looped her arm through Kane’s. The woman wasn’t a monster, and she shot me a quick wink as she did it. I could read her mind, it was a ‘don’t worry, I’ve got a bigger fish on the line wink’. “Jake is having an afterparty. All the New York Lightning are going to be there.”

  Lightning. What a bimbo. I waited for Kane to roll his eyes and correct her, but he didn’t.

  “Are you kids having fun?” Tiffany appeared out of nowhere and slung her tanned arms over the shoulders of Kane and Bronwyn, sandwiching herself between the two of them.

  “Don’t they make a cute couple?” she slurred.

  Bronwyn tilted her head and raised her eyebrows at me. She stepped out of Tiffany’s embrace, and while rage coursed through my body, I tried to think of a way to extricate myself from the conversation without punching Kane’s stepmom in the face.

  “We’re just friends. Kane was kind enough to be my date for the evening,” Bronwyn said, and then to my surprise, draped her long arm over my shoulder. I held onto the tray of empty glasses for dear life. “We were just inviting some of the staff to the after-party.”

  “Staff?” When Tiffany laughed her face didn’t move. “They have way too much work to do here.” She set down her glass on the nearby table as if to make an example. “See you two there.” Tiffany squeezed Bronwyn’s arm and drunk whispered, which was almost a yell, “You’re perfect for him.” And then cast me an evil smirk as she teetered back into the party.

  “Ignore her.” Kane shook his head. “She’s drunk.”

  Bronwyn watched Tiffany walk away and then turned to face me. “So, she’s not a total bitch when she’s sober?” Score another for Bronwyn, who was rising higher in my ranks by the minute.

  Kane sighed. “Your right. She’s equally bitchy. I just ignore her. I don’t know what my dad sees in her.”

  Bronwyn took Tiffany’s glass and set it on my tray. “Jessica, you’ve got more class in your pinky finger than she’s got in her whole body.”

  “She does,” Kane agreed, and then his eyes met mine. “Do you think you’re going to make the after-party?” His eyes seemed sad. The shock from his ‘we need to talk’ bomb was still coursing through my veins, and I studied his body for any hints about what we needed to talk about.

  “Paige seems to think we will be here for a few more hours.”

  “Not on my watch,” Paige smiled as she hustled by, her tray of empty glasses jingling. The promise of an after-party complete with the entire Otters’ team AND the New York Thunder had injected the Valerock servers with a heightened sense of urgency.

  “It will depend on when the work gets done,” I said.

  Bronwyn glanced between Kane and me and then excused herself from the conversation.

  “Sorry about Tiffany,” he whispered.

  “I’m kind of used to it,” I sighed. I reached out to hold Kane’s hand, if only for a minute, but he pulled away. The room blurred in front of me. “What do we need to talk about?”

  Kane was shifting from foot to foot, and he wouldn’t look at me. “It can wait until tomorrow.”

  I wanted to scream. “You can’t do that,” I whispered through gritted teeth. “You can’t tell me we need to talk and then leave me hanging.” Kane’s eyes softened and he stepped beside me, sliding his thick fingers through mine behind my back, our hands hidden between my back and the wall. “Are we okay?” My words were shaky.

  “Hey, guys.” We were interrupted again. This time it was my obnoxious brother and just like that, Kane pulled his fingers free from mine.

  “Hey, Dylan,” he said. The muscle on Kane’s jaw popped at the sight of my brother.

  “Fitzy, got room in your boat? I hear you’re heading to McManus’ after-party.”

  “Are you?” I asked Kane. We hadn’t discussed it, but I had hoped that Kane was going to drop Bronwyn off and then come back and get me.

  “Bronwyn wants to hit it on the way home,” he said.

  “Great.” Dylan slung his arm around Kane’s shoulder. “Are you okay with a third wheel?”

  Kane’s lips narrowed to a tight line and Bronwyn returned to the group, her face flushed with excitement. “Are we going?”

  “I’ll see you there?” Kane asked as he was pulled away by both Bronwyn and Dylan. I didn’t know whether it was a statement or a question.

  I gestured around the room. “I’ll have to wait and see.”

  Bronwyn tugged at Kane’s arm and he opened his mouth to say something more, but then gave in to her pull. “Hope to see you there.” His farewell was generic and cold, and I hated it.

  “Bye, Jess.” Dylan waved and I turned away, not wanting him to see the redness in my face. I couldn’t explain it, but it felt like Dylan had just ruined the rest of my night.

  That’s when I realized that Kane was wearing his hat.

  A chill ran down my spine. What had Dylan done?

  Chapter 30 – Jessie

  By the time we polished all the silver and put away the last piece of crystal, it was four o’clock in the morning.

  Paige slumped into the chair beside me. I kicked off my shoes and massaged my feet. Waitressing was a lot harder than I thought it would be. “What’s up with you?” I looked at my friend who was pouting.

  “McManus’ cottage is on an island.”

  I vaguely remembered the timber frame cottage that Kane had pointed out to me on our boat ride. “So?”

  “Valerock isn’t letting the water taxi drop us off there.”

  “Shit.” As much as I was physically and emotionally exhausted from the evening, all I wanted to do was talk to Kane. The past few hours had been torture, the urge to throw up had waxed and waned as I cleared the tables and replayed my last moments with him.

  “I know, right?” Paige wailed. “The best party of the year and we can’t get there.” She buried her head in her hands. “Unless...” she looked up at me, her eyes hopeful. “Do you think Kane would come and get us?”

  If she’d asked me yesterday, I would’ve said yes, Kane would show up to get me in a heartbeat. But after tonight, I wasn’t so sure. “I’ll call him.”

  His phone went straight to voicemail, so I sent him a text.

  By the time the door to the Island Club was locked behind us, I still hadn’t heard from him.

  “No, go?” Paige sighed.

  “No.” I slid the phone into my purse. It clanked against the gold coin.

  Why hadn’t Kane messaged me back? “Maybe his phone is dead?” I shrugged, trying to play it cool in front of Paige and the other Valerock girls.

  “Probably a good thing anyway, Avery sighed. I’m exhausted.” She nudged Paige’s arm with her fist, “Don’t worry, Newbie. There will be plenty of NHL parties this summer.”

  Paige sat up a little straighter, her face brightening. “No biggie.” She was trying to play it cool too.

  When I got home, I glanced into Dylan’s room, he was curled up in the blue and white hockey-themed quilt Mom had made him. While he was sleeping, he looked like the sweet little brother I had grown up with. My heart softened as I watched the rise and fall of the quilt as he snored. I shut his door and checked my phone one last time before I fell into a dreamless sleep.

  After what felt like hours of tossing and turning, I rolled and squinted at my phone. Still no response from Kane. The last thing my boyfriend had told me was that we needed to talk, and now he was ignoring me. I pulled my quilt over my head and curled up into a ball. It’s early, I told myself, he’s probably just sleeping. For the next three hours, sleep flirted with me, and my dreams taunted me, varying from visions of a mess of blond hair spread over Kane’s chest to Tiffany’s blood-red lips telling me she knew Kane wou
ld never fall for townie trash. When I bolted upright at nine a.m., I was covered in sweat and the remnants of the dreams made my stomach churn. I ran to the bathroom and dry heaved over the toilet. Something was wrong. I knew it deep down inside.

  “You okay, Jess?” Dylan rapped on the door.

  “I’m fine,” my voice was gravelly.

  “I’ve made breakfast. You could probably use something in your stomach.”

  I waited for Dylan to walk away and then splashed some water on my face and brushed my teeth. As I entered the kitchen, I was met with the sound of the blender. “What no bacon?” I asked.

  “I made your gross smoothie.” He held up two glasses filled with a dark green-brown mixture that looked like sludge.

  “Thanks.” I took the glass from his hand and set it down on the table.

  Dylan took a sip of his glass and his eyes shot open wide. “Wow,” he said. “This is disgusting.”

  “That means you made it right.” I tried to be funny, but my heart wasn’t in it. “How was your night?”

  “Meh.” He shrugged. “Are you going to try it?” He pointed to my glass with his.

  “Give me a minute.” I eyed the glass.

  “Have you thought more about the Academy?” Dylan sat at the table, drew his lanky leg up, and put his bare foot on the seat.

  I hadn’t. The only thing that had gone through my mind since the last time we spoke was what the hell Kane wanted to talk to me about. “I didn’t know you and Kane were all buddy-buddy,” I said.

  “We’re not.” Dylan took another sip of his smoothie and recoiled. “It doesn’t get any better.” He wiped away his green mustache with the back of his hand. “I just needed a ride to the after-party.” Shrugging, he held my gaze, I knew that he knew, and he knew that I knew. There was no point in dancing around the elephant in the room. “Did you talk to Kane about me?”

  “You?” he feigned incredulity. “Why the hell would I talk to him about you?”

  Dylan wasn’t biting. “I thought he might’ve said something about our lessons.”

  “Nah,” Dylan stood up. “He was too into his date to notice anything I had to say.”

  “What?” I felt like I had been slapped. “I heard that they weren’t even together,” I mumbled, trying to recover from my outburst.

  “Tell that to the room next to theirs.” He finished the rest of his smoothie and then rinsed the glass in the sink. “Apparently, she’s a screamer.”

  “Fuck off, Dylan.” I stood and the kitchen chair toppled behind me. I lunged and threw the content of my glass in his face. He sputtered and calmly wiped the green goo from his eyes.

  “Why do you care? You’re just his coach.” Bits of flax seeds stuck to my brother’s face as he let the smoothie run down his cheeks and into the neck of his white t-shirt.

  I knew that I couldn’t defend our relationship. And after last night, maybe there wasn’t a relationship to defend. “You’re lying,” I seethed and ran from the kitchen, my feet pounding up the stairs as I hurled myself back under my quilt.

  I collapsed onto the mattress and when I checked my phone for the millionth time there still wasn’t a response from Kane. I knew better, but I couldn’t stop myself, but I texted him.

  ‘We need to talk.’

  I’d backhanded the same gut-clenching words at him.

  “WHERE IS SHE?”

  I heard Paige’s voice from downstairs, followed by her surprisingly heavy footsteps as she stormed up the stairs and into my bedroom.

  “Get up,” Paige shouted.

  “No,” I murmured and rolled away from her, tightening in my duvet burrito.

  Paige stomped to the bed and yanked the covers so violently I swear I got a little airborne. “Enough of your pity party.” I reached for the duvet and she dropped it on the floor. “Dylan said you’ve been holed up in your room all day listening to Celine Dion and you don’t even like her.”

  “Celine is an amazing vocalist, and Dylan needs to mind his own business.” I shivered without the warmth of my cocoon.

  “What’s going on, Jess?” Paige sat down on the foot of my bed.

  “I think that Kane is ghosting me.”

  Paige crossed her arms. “I could say the same thing about you.”

  Damn. She was right, there were at least five unopened messages from Paige on my phone. My body crumpled on the bed and I hung my head. “I’m sorry, Paige. I’m such a shitty friend.” Paige shifted so that she was sitting beside me and pulled me in close enough that I could smell her grapefruit shampoo.

  “Maybe he’s busy. The game this afternoon is a really important one, isn’t it?”

  How could I have forgotten about the game? “It is. The scouts have been showing up at all the exhibition games, and this is the last one before the summer camps start.” I sat up a little taller, maybe Paige was right. Could Kane have just been working on his slapshot all morning? He spent hours doing visualization practices, and pre-game rituals, so it wasn’t totally inconceivable.

  “And you promised me that you’d go to the game with me, right?”

  It was all coming back to me, and yes, I had agreed to go to the game with Paige. “I did.”

  She must’ve heard the hesitation. “Did?”

  “This whole Kane thing.” I shrugged.

  “Jessie.” Paige shifted away from me so she could grab onto my upper arms.

  “Ow,” I said, but she didn’t let go.

  “The guy is busy. It’s not the end of the world. You can’t just hole up in here because what? He hasn’t texted you in the past twelve hours?”

  Hearing her say it out loud made it sound completely ridiculous - but she didn’t have the whole story. “Last night at the Gala, he said that we needed to talk. Then he left with Bronwyn and hasn’t answered any messages since.”

  “Oh.” Paige eased her death grip and dropped her hands.

  I rubbed my arms. “And Dylan told me that... that he heard, that um...” I didn’t know how to say it.

  “What did Dylan hear?” Paige crossed her arms and glanced at the door to my bedroom as if my brother would suddenly appear so she could give him a dirty look.

  My throat constricted. “That Kane and Bronwyn got together at the...” I gasped in air, unable to finish the sentence.

  “Hold on.” She held up her hand. “This is Laketown. I can’t try on a pair of jeans without the whole town knowing what brand and size they were. You know that you can’t trust anything you hear. Hell, there were rumors that Dylan and I had sex that night at Kane’s cottage.”

  “You didn’t?” I couldn’t help myself. I smiled wryly as Paige’s face registered shock and then a smile when she realized I was joking.

  “Come on. Get up. Get dressed. We’ve got to get to the bottom of this.” Paige pulled me to my feet.

  “What if he is going to break up with me?” It seemed so surreal to say the words. Perfect isn’t a word I use lightly, but dammit, everything had been amazing since Kane Fitzgerald skated into my life.

  “Then he’s clearly a loser and wouldn’t know a good thing if it was taped to a puck and smashed into his loser face.”

  “Do you want to try to throw loser in one more time?” I asked.

  She smiled. “Get dressed. Look fabulous. But...” she paused dramatically. “Be prepared to feel ridiculous when you find out he’s lost his phone, has spent the day preparing for the biggest game of his career, and that his girlfriend is listening to the damn Laketown rumor mill.”

  Maybe he had just lost his phone and I was wallowing for no reason at all.

  I was going to the game.

  Chapter 31 – Kane

  The atmosphere was electric in McManus Arena, but the somber tone inside the Otters’ dressing room made it clear that this was more than just an exhibition game. Beside me, Tanner was staring across the room at the wall, his mind clearly somewhere else while his legs jittered beneath his forearms. We knew the scouts were out in full force and that we
didn’t leave a great impression at our last game.

  I emptied the contents of my hockey bag onto the floor, hoping and praying that somehow my coin was going to just magically appear, even though I had searched every last corner and seam of the bag.

  Nothing.

  It was the first time I had looked for it since I started hanging out with Jessie. I wiggled my toes in my skates, my toe was fully healed, My run of bad luck seemed to end when I met her. I shook my head as if it would get her off my mind. I needed a clear head for the game.

  “Still can’t find it?” Tanner whispered.

  I shook my head and cleaned up the random rolls of hockey tape and single socks.

  Dylan entered the dressing room wearing a suit and tie and sat down on the bench beside Mike and he didn’t even look at me.

  Coach went over the plays and gave us the same speech he had given for every game I’d ever played. I leaned into Tanner, “You’d think he would’ve put together something a little more...”

  “Inspiring?” Tanner grinned at me. “This isn’t the movies. He doesn’t want to make this game feel any different from the others.

  “Hey, Fitzy.” Tanner whispered. “You don’t need no damn coin.” He shoved his hand into his glove and fist-bumped me. Then he stood up and stretched his arms wide. “Boys. Let’s go eat us some Predators for dinner.” His commanding voice echoed through the dressing room and the guttural roar that followed practically shook the walls.

  THE GAME WAS CLOSE, but the Predators had managed to maintain a one-goal lead on us. I glanced at the scoreboard, something I had avoided doing the whole game, just in case my eyes were drawn to Jessie. She was the only thing that could derail me, and I couldn’t think about the hardest conversation I was going to have in my life while I was playing the most important game of my life.

  Two minutes remained on the clock and we were tied two to two. Leo had scored right out of the gate and I had gotten the second goal in the third period - short-handed. I was skating circles around guys who were usually hot on my heels; my newfound ability to maintain an insane amount of speed in the corners left gaping holes in the Predators’ defensive line.