Monster Club

by Gavin Brown

  “Never!” Tommy yelled. Karim wanted to beg for their lives, but instead he stayed quiet as Tommy and Spike shouted at the microphone. Karim glanced down at Tommy’s phone, which was still on, still recording. At least they had that.

  “Goodbye, former AppVenturers,” Mike Tuckerville said. He laughed for a moment before the phone clicked and the line went dead.

  Karim picked up the phone again, but there was nothing. He shook his head. “No dial tone. They’ve blocked it for outgoing calls.”

  “Okay,” Tommy said. “So, uh, what do we do now?”

  They stood in silence. Outside, the razorback was pacing back and forth, occasionally scratching at the door with its claws.

  Karim’s mind was working overtime. They could certainly bust through more of the interior walls and escape that way, but he hesitated. The dragon would just pursue them. Even without its fire, it was still more than a match for the trio.

  “The razorback is still in hunting mode, even if it has calmed down. We need to buy more time,” Spike said. “We can’t figure out a way up the elevator if it keeps after us.”

  “According to Monsterpedia it should be running off to its lair to recharge,” Karim said through gritted teeth. “Why hasn’t it? If only we could talk to it …”

  Spike grinned. There Karim went again, almost having the perfect idea but not quite following it through. She pulled out her phone, and in a moment Mortimer’s Monsterpedia’s Monster Tongue Translator was working. The dragon was no longer in full rage mode, so maybe this was worth another shot.

  The razorback’s claws scratched against the door and it rumbled.

  “Rage. Fury. Taken from my forests,” the computerized voice translated. “Why have the giant rodents done this to me? They must suffer.”

  Spike forced herself to advance to the door, holding the speaker of her phone up to the doorjamb and cranking up the volume.

  “We didn’t bring you here,” she said into the phone’s mic. “It was the other humans, the bad ones.” A second later, the phone translated her words into a series of growls and roars.

  “And we aren’t giant rodents!” Tommy added from behind her. She shot a glance at him, but he just pouted.

  The phone speaker rumbled and hissed. She was suddenly very grateful that she had opted for the newest one with the micro subwoofer.

  The dragon rumbled, and the phone translated.

  “You are no different from them! You have hurt me! The hurting will be for weeks, with no fire mouth. You are all the same—nothing but rodents and prey, unwilling to face me directly!”

  “We only did it because you were chasing us,” Spike answered. “Can you understand that? We didn’t want to hurt you.”

  The razorback didn’t respond. It shuffled its weight outside.

  “Where did they take you from?” Karim asked.

  Spike nodded. If they could keep it talking, then they might figure out how to persuade it to spare them.

  “The mighty plateaus,” the dragon answered. “The ice and wind that have been our home since the mice with hands began to build their rock houses in the plains below.”

  “Hey! We’re not mice—” Tommy began, but Spike stepped on his foot. She was not going to let his pride ruin this. They had the beast talking; they could make this negotiation work.

  “The same people who kidnapped you and trapped you down here have done the same to us,” Spike said. “They want you to kill us.”

  The razorback huffed. It sounded to her like the dragon was trying to breathe fire, but all that came out was a stench that smelled like weeks-old laundry from the boys’ locker room.

  “And why should I believe you, Rats That Stand on Their Hind Legs?”

  Behind her, Spike heard Tommy draw in his breath to object, but then huffed and walked away.

  “They’re releasing sour ooze into the basement,” Karim said.

  The dragon snorted. “I have seen the green goo. Your hamster hides will be easy prey, but I think I will not go down so easily.”

  “Your scales will protect you longer than our skin, that’s true,” Karim said. “But even with your strength, the ooze will eat through you just the same eventually.”

  “Is that true?” Spike whispered.

  Karim shrugged. “Probably. Mortimer’s isn’t that specific. But sour ooze can eat through steel given enough time …”

  Spike nodded, impressed. This was a different, more determined Karim than the timid boy from even just a few weeks ago.

  “Even if I believed you, Gerbils That Use Tools, why should I not eat you? I have been trapped down here for days with nothing to eat.”

  Spike grinned. This was working. Now they were negotiating. “We can help you get out,” she offered. “We can help you get home, back to your, um, your—”

  “Your mighty plateaus,” Karim filled in.

  After a pause for the translation, the floor shook as the razorback roared, some primal mixture of laughter and rage.

  “Don’t lie to me, prey. You are just as trapped as I am and trying to buy yourselves a few more seconds in your brief chipmunk life spans.”

  Spike sighed. If this beast just didn’t want to work with them, what could they do?

  Tommy had returned and was hefting the magical sword. “I can take that punk,” he whispered. “We hurt him once. A few bashes in the face and maybe he’ll change his tune.”

  “No,” Karim said. “Not yet. Let me try one more thing. If it goes badly, then you can charge in with the sword.”

  “What are you going to do?” Spike asked.

  “Easy,” Karim said unconvincingly. “Show it that we’re not prey.”

  Things were happening awfully fast, and Tommy wasn’t sure what needed to be punched to make the situation better. But he was ready to give this a shot.

  This time it was Tommy who hid behind the wall holding Sidesplitter, while Karim stood in the open. The sword felt cold and heavy in Tommy’s hands, and the chilly basement air was starting to make his bare back tingle. But if Karim’s negotiation didn’t work, he was more than ready to go in. All he needed was one lucky thrust.

  Karim flung open the door. The razorback snorted in surprise, then advanced.

  Tommy’s blood ran even colder. The dragon’s scales were thick and gleamed in the light from Spike’s flashlight, and its jaws held rows of knife-sharp teeth. It was huge, barely able to fit through the doorframe.

  The razorback stepped toward Karim. Tommy could see his friend shaking, and yet the boy gave no ground. Finally, the razorback stopped only a foot from Karim, their faces at the same level, one scaled and horned, the other a smooth human face set in determination.

  “We’re both stuck down here,” Karim said, looking the beast in the eye. “Give us half an hour to figure out how to escape. If we can’t do it, then we’ll still be here. And we can fight it out then.”

  Spike didn’t look happy to be this close to such a creature at all, but she stood only a few feet away and held the phone up so that its translation could be heard.

  “Hungry. Trapped for days. My flames cannot burn through the silver doors. Must … eat one of you. Will help other two,” the dragon said.

  There was a long silence as the trio exchanged nervous looks.

  “So … do we draw straws, rock-paper-scissors—how do you want to handle this?” Spike asked. It sounded like a joke, but Tommy wasn’t quite sure.

  “Um, maybe it doesn’t need to eat a person. Do we have any food?” Karim asked. “All I brought was a water bottle.”

  Tommy stood up straight. Now this—this was a problem that Tommy Wainwright could handle. “I’ve got you, Mr. Dragon,” he said.

  He unwrapped three of his Brotein (“Never put off lifting until tomorrow that which you can lift today”) bars and tossed them on the ground in front of the razorback.

  In an instant, its jaws jerked out and consumed all the bars in toothy mouthfuls. It glared at him, and Tommy sighed.

&nb
sp; Tommy tossed it the two backup bars that he kept in the small outside pouch. The beast ate those just as quickly, then looked at Tommy, opened its mouth slightly, and growled.

  “Oh, fine,” Tommy said, throwing in the final bar from the very bottom of his backpack. And then the half-eaten bar in his front pocket, just in case. “But you owe me!”

  He had only one left now, broken in half and hidden in his back pocket. It was salt and vinegar, his favorite. Other protein bars had flavors like chocolate or blueberry. The folks who made Brotein (“Might not make right, but it sure makes awesome”) weren’t afraid to take risks with flavor.

  After eating, the dragon roared again, this time sounding more like a laugh. “You have until this pain in my flame sac becomes unbearable, and I lose control,” it said. “Make the time count, Lemmings That Smell of Tomatoes, Cheese, and Grease.”

  As the razorback turned and shuffled away down the hall, Spike snorted. “He has a point about that one,” she said, rolling her eyes at Tommy.

  Tommy ignored her and stood up straight. If he smelled like those things, then so be it. He’d rather die smelling of pizza than live not eating pizza.

  As they walked out of the room, Karim drew in a sharp breath. “Look,” he said, pointing his flashlight at the door.

  The bluish glow illuminated one of the locked doors keeping them trapped. At the bottom, ooze was glittering in the light as it seeped into the subbasement.

  “Well, there goes that option,” Spike said with a groan.

  “We are so screwed,” Karim said. “We are so, so screwed.”

  Tommy shook his head. This wouldn’t do. He didn’t know the way out, but he knew that Karim and Spike could come up with something.

  “I’m not giving up yet,” Tommy said, trying to put confidence in his voice that he didn’t feel. “What do you always say, Spike? You’re not allowed to give up until you’ve tried all the options.”

  “Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” Spike said. “Let’s go check out the elevators.”

  A minute later they inspected the elevators with their flashlights. There were three in a row, right in the middle of the basement. Their metal doors shone in the light.

  “All we need to do is get in there and climb up, right?” Tommy said, feeling hope starting to grow inside him. “You guys solved it again!”

  Tommy pressed the button, but of course nothing happened. He tried to grab the doors and force them open, but every time he pulled, his fingers couldn’t get enough of a hold to pull them apart. He tried the other two doors, but they were no better than the first.

  “We’ll need a crowbar or something to get these open,” Spike said. “Did we see anything like that in any of those rooms? Office basements have useful stuff like that in them, right?”

  Tommy swept his flashlight over the hallways around them. He could see the sour ooze advancing at the edge of each hallway. “Even if there is, we don’t have much time. That ooze is getting close!”

  Karim shrugged. “Maybe it’s time to once again use my father’s magical sword for something completely different than what it was intended.”

  He stepped to the door and used the sword’s supernaturally sharp point to wedge the blade between the elevator doors. He gestured to Tommy, who felt himself grinning.

  “Okay, doors,” Tommy said, cracking his knuckles, “time for round two.” Tommy heaved on the sword, and after a moment felt the doors starting to budge. Quickly, Spike and Karim each grabbed one of the doors and pulled with all their might.

  With a grinding, the doors inched farther and farther apart, until finally there was enough room for them to fit through. Tommy leaned in to have a look, running his flashlight up and down the empty shaft. Suddenly, he pulled back with a yelp.

  On every surface of the elevator shaft, sour ooze was seeping in from the outside.

  “They’ve got us,” Karim said, and he knew it was true.

  “It seems like they know exactly what we’re doing,” Spike added, “and can counter everything we try.”

  Karim looked around, searching with his flashlight.

  “What are you looking for?” Tommy asked.

  “If I were an evil mastermind like Tuckerville, I would want to know what was going on down here,” Karim said. “Ah, there it is!”

  In the corner, Karim found a tiny hidden camera.

  Karim frowned, then took Sidesplitter from Tommy and stepped up to the camera. Okay, one stab from the sword, and … okay, two stabs from the sword, and …

  “Let me do it.” Tommy took the sword and, using his brute strength and height, smashed the camera’s lens.

  They quickly checked the immediate area, breaking two more cameras, and returned to the elevators. Karim surveyed the floor with his flashlight. The sour ooze was coming even closer.

  “So,” Spike said, “current situation: The ooze will get to us in a few minutes. We have an open elevator shaft, but we have to climb up the shaft without touching anything.”

  Karim tried to quiet the wild, nervous fluttering in his stomach and focus on the problem. But they were just so, so screwed.

  “Could we put something on our hands to protect them?” he suggested.

  Karim ripped a piece of his shirt and dipped it into the closest blob of sour ooze. The part that touched the ooze melted away like paper caught on fire.

  “Even if we could climb with stuff on our hands,” Spike announced, “it looks like the ooze eats through things too fast.”

  Tommy flopped to the ground, leaning his sweaty back against the wall. “Any more ideas, geniuses?” he asked. “I don’t want to die like this! Not eaten by sour ooze. I always wanted to die in an epic battle defending a castle against a horde of evil monsters!”

  “I always wanted to die from eating too much tapioca pudding,” Spike said. “Karim, what about you?”

  Karim sighed. Tommy had a point. Both of their plans had come to nothing.

  The ground shook slightly as heavy footsteps approached. Karim flinched as he felt warm breath on the back of his neck. He spun to see the razorback eyeing the open elevator shaft.

  “The way is open,” the app translated.

  “I don’t want to die,” Karim said. But he took one look at the dragon, and a plan started to form. “And I don’t think I’m going to. Take us with you, dragon.”

  The razorback eyed him skeptically. Karim swallowed hard, seeing its rows of teeth as it worked its jaw.

  “Just let us ride up the elevator shaft,” Karim said. “That’s it.”

  “Honor commands that I repay you for your assistance in opening the door,” the razorback replied. “But honor also demands that I not allow you to ride on my back. I’m sorry, but I will not. I thank you for your help all the same.”

  The dragon started toward the elevator shaft, and Karim took a deep breath. He had to act now, or it would be too late, and they would die down here, forgotten.

  He stepped forward, putting himself in the elevator door, squarely between the razorback and the escape route.

  “No,” he said. “Take us with you.”

  The razorback opened its mouth and roared. “Remove yourself!”

  Karim stared into the face of death. It was scaled, dark eyed, full of teeth, and surrounded by vicious talons. Karim’s whole body was shaking, and every instinct said to flee. Every strand of his human DNA told him that this beast was far too large and far too dangerous to face.

  But Karim didn’t move. For once, the fear shut up. “Take us with you, or kill me,” Karim finally said, and he heard rustling as Tommy and Spike stepped to his side.

  The razorback glared at them. It roared again, but they withstood the force of its damp breath. Long seconds passed as the standoff continued. Behind the razorback, Karim could see the sour ooze approaching, sliming its way along the floor and walls.

  Just then, one of the other elevator shafts rumbled to life.

  They all froze, even the dragon. What fresh madness was this? Sp
ike shook her head. Weren’t a locked basement, sour ooze, and a real dragon enough?

  With the one shaft open, they could hear the elevator moving downward, and even see the car as it pulled up from the floor below in the next shaft.

  “What’s happening?” Karim asked.

  “Is someone coming to help us?” Tommy added.

  “Maybe it’s monster control?” Karim offered, a note of desperate hope in his voice.

  Spike shook her head. Somehow she knew it wouldn’t be that. Mike Tuckerville wanted them dead. Of course he had some fresh trick up his sleeve.

  She paused for a moment, listening. There was movement in the elevator. Something, or somethings, jumping around. They sounded far too small and far too hyperactive to be human.

  “It isn’t monster control,” Spike said. “It’s more monsters.”

  The elevator gave a ding. Next to her, Tommy hefted Sidesplitter.

  The door opened, and for a moment there was silence in the basement. And then a shrieking horde of small bodies piled out of the elevator.

  “Gremlins!” Spike said with distaste.

  The gremlins’ faces were distorted in rage.

  “They look angry,” Tommy said.

  “Hungry,” Karim added.

  “Tuckerville probably left them trapped in there for a day or more,” Spike said.

  The gremlins hissed, and one in the lead bared its teeth. Spike could see a very faint bruise in the face of the lead gremlin. Was this the same gremlin that Spike had knocked out with her ring? It was hard to tell for sure, and it got even harder as the gremlins charged.

  Tommy stepped forward, swinging the sword in a wide arc. The gremlins leaped back, frightened of the enchanted blade. But a moment later they began creeping forward again.

  “Hold them back,” Spike said, turning to the dragon.

  “I can’t do this for long!” Tommy said, pointing the sword at an advancing gremlin. “There are way too many of them.”

  Just then, a ding and a squelching sound echoed from the third elevator shaft. Spike spun to see a tentacle coming out of the opening elevator door. She shouted, but before anyone could react, one of the blue tentacles had wrapped around Karim’s leg.