“I know you guys are sleeping together and that Ridley is probably still waiting for Jace on some level. But I have faith he’ll make the right decision eventually. Ridley has so much love to give. And I think you’re the guy he should give it to. But you might have to kick him in the ass first.”
“Uh … thanks?”
She turned, tossing a bag of popcorn in the microwave and punching some buttons. Then, as it began to pop, she pulled out some beers. “What would you like to drink? Ridley said you don’t like beer.”
Oh, man. From talking about sleeping with Ridley to drink preferences. His head was spinning. To think he’d worried it’d be awkward to be around Jace. He hadn’t counted on Ronnie being so blunt.
“Um… soda is fine. I’m not in the mood to drink anyway.”
She nodded toward the fridge. “Help yourself. I’ll go deliver these.” As Cole grabbed a Coke, she paused in the doorway. “Sorry if I overstepped. I like you, and so does Ridley. I just want to see you guys happy.”
A happy ending sounded nice, but it was a fantasy. Ridley had been nothing but upfront with him about his feelings for Jace. Cole had told Ridley he could handle it, and he was trying really hard not to be a liar about that, so he pushed her words out of his mind and grabbed the popcorn when the buzzer went off.
We’re just friends with benefits, he reminded himself. That’s all we can ever be. That’s all I want.
Yeah, he couldn’t even convince himself of that one.
24
It was nearly midnight, and Jace showed no sign of leaving. Cole checked a yawn and leaned in to whisper to Ridley. “I’m tired. Maybe I should just go home. I’m sure it’s fine by now.”
“No, stay,” Ridley said. “I want you to.”
Cole glanced at Jace, sitting on Ridley’s other side. Ronnie had to clear off the sofa and armchair to seat them all, so the living room was remarkably laundry-free. He wondered if Ridley felt like the metaphor he appeared to be: torn between two men.
Cole tried not to put too much stock in the fact that Ridley sat closer to him. Jace sprawled enough that Ridley didn’t have much choice. Ridley had been attentive to Cole, but he probably wanted to comfort him after that ugliness with Travis.
Jace had been a decent guy that night, respecting Cole’s privacy about why he was there. Cole reluctantly had to admit that he could see why Ridley was drawn to Jace. His best friend was handsome, funny, and had a long history with the twins that put them all on the same wavelength. In many ways, they interacted like family.
Cole was tempted to ask why Jace didn’t live with them, that’s how strong their bond was, but he thought better of it. He could admit to himself that Jace was admirable, but he didn’t want to have that conversation with Ridley. Even if he was trying to be a big boy about the fact that they were fuck buddies, not true lovers, it would be soul-crushing.
“I’d like to sleep,” Cole said tentatively. “It’s been kind of a weird night, and I’m drained.”
“Sure.” Ridley stood. “Let me hit the bathroom, and then we can go to bed.”
“In your room?” Cole asked to be clear. He wasn’t sure, with Jace there, if Ridley would want him to sleep in his bed.
Ridley grinned. “Yep. It’s more comfortable than the floor, I hear.”
Jace glanced at Ronnie, who’d stood and stretched as Ridley left the room. “You pooping out on me too?”
Ronnie covered a yawn with her hand, nodding. Jace pouted, slumping back into the sofa with half-lidded eyes. He was pretty sexy as he looked at them through lowered lashes with his lip pouted out, his legs spread wide, and his muscles kind of everywhere.
Shit. Cole did not want to appreciate Jace’s male beauty. All it did was remind him that anything he had with Ridley was on the clock.
How many minutes will I have him? Do I try to draw them out, make them count? Or do I cut my losses now and go lick my wounds? No way I can win this fight when I’m up against this guy.
Not only did Jace have the advantage of being Ridley’s longtime friend and crush, with tons of shared memories, but he was rugged where Cole was described as pretty. No one would call him a twink, Cole thought, remembering Travis’s insult. No one would think him too femme or campy or flighty. No one would think he needed a rescue. He was the hero in his life story; Cole was the damsel in distress. And who could blame Ridley for wanting the hero?
“Fine,” Jace said. “Go to bed. I’ll crash on the sofa after I finish this last movie.” He paused. “Unless Ronnie wants to share a bed with me?”
She laughed. “Nice try, but you’re a blanket hog. Besides, I’m still mad at you for setting me up with Mason.”
Jace sighed, ducking his head a little. “I said I was sorry.”
Ronnie ruffled his hair as she passed behind the couch. “Yeah, I might forgive ya,” she said, pausing to hang over the back of the sofa to kiss his cheek. Jace lit up at the words, his entire expression brightening. If Cole didn’t know better, he might have thought these two were dating. “But you’re still sleeping out here.”
Jace noticed him watching them and raised an eyebrow. “If you don’t wanna share his bed, I will.”
Cole gaped. “What?”
He realized that while waiting for Ridley, he’d completely zoned out. Eavesdropped, more like.
Jace laughed. “Your face, man. I’ve slept in Ridley’s bed dozens of times.”
“Oh.”
“You didn’t blink at sleeping in his bed, though,” Jace said. “Are you guys fucking?”
Whoa. That was direct. Cole blinked, trying to think how to answer. He figured telling Jace that Ridley regularly fucked him would probably toss a wrench in Ridley’s plan to win Jace over. It was tempting, for purely selfish reasons, to sabotage that plan. But it would hurt Ridley, and Cole would never knowingly do that.
“Jace, back off,” Ronnie said before Cole could formulate a response. She had returned with a pillow and blanket, which she tossed into Jace’s lap. “The poor guy had a rough night.”
“It was just a question.”
“A nosy one,” she replied.
“Okay, Cole, let’s crash,” Ridley said as he reappeared at the entrance to the hallway.
Jace smirked. “Your slumber party is waiting.”
Cole rolled his eyes. Okay, he’d liked Jace better when he was on good behavior while Ridley was in the room. Cole frowned as he said goodnight and beat a hasty retreat down the hallway. He didn’t enjoy the realization that Jace was watching his step around Ridley. It suggested that he cared about what Ridley thought. Maybe he cared about Ridley as more than a friend. Maybe his nosy questions, with the edge of aggression, were borne out of jealousy.
If that was the case, Cole should brace himself for the inevitable.
Jace would make a move on Ridley and probably soon.
Cole entered the bedroom, an oblong-shaped room with the bed and the dresser eating up most of the floor space. His eyes went directly to the spot by the dresser where he’d given Ridley a blow job for the first time. And of course, right by the bed was where Ridley asked to practice on Cole and proceeded to blow his mind.
Good memories.
Ridley stripped down to his underwear, so Cole followed suit. The comforter was pulled down to the foot of the bed, too warm for the summer nights. Ridley had turned on a ceiling fan, and they both slid under cool, silky sheets. Ridley’s foot found his leg and slid up his calf, ruffling hair.
Cole instinctively rolled toward him, one hand going into Ridley’s silky hair and the other pressing right over his heart. He could feel the beat of Ridley’s heart through his palm, a steady thu-thump, thu-thump, thu-thump.
Ridley kissed him, soft and sweet. Then with more heat. His tongue skated over Cole’s lips, then dipped inside to taste. It drew a soft sigh from Cole as he sank into the warmth and affection.
“How tired are you?” Ridley murmured close to his ear.
“Not that tired,” he said.
It was dark in the room, too dark to read expressions, but he felt Ridley’s grin against his neck. As Ridley grazed his teeth over Cole’s jugular, he swallowed hard.
“Jace is in the next room. Are you sure—”
Ridley’s mouth muffled the rest of his words. He swallowed them down willingly enough as Ridley kissed him.
Running a hand through Cole’s hair, he said in a low voice, “I’m here with you. Not him.”
Cole’s heart quickened. It didn’t mean that Ridley wasn’t still hoping for something with Jace, but it was nice to know that right now, at least, he had Ridley’s full attention.
Their skin pressed together as Ridley rolled Cole under him. “I’m thinking you’ve had a tiring night. So ...” Ridley scooted down. “Maybe just a little something to send you sweet dreams.”
He mouthed over Cole’s cock, which was quickly swelling behind cotton.
Cole sighed. “You’re the best.”
Ridley quirked a smile as he pulled off Cole’s briefs. “Nah. You are.”
Then he leaned over and engulfed Cole’s cock in wet heat. He took his time, slowly coaxing the embers of pleasure like a campfire until Cole’s need to come was blazing hot. Then, as Cole gasped a warning, Ridley squeezed Cole’s hand, somehow conveying permission, and met his gaze as Cole spilled over his tongue.
Ridley kissed the tip of his cock, then his belly as Cole quivered.
“Mmm. My turn?” Cole asked, lethargy making his limbs heavy.
“No need,” Ridley whispered, kissing Cole’s cheek. “Just sleep.”
As he drifted off, Cole realized he’d never been with a guy before who would pleasure Cole without expecting something in return. Too bad the best boyfriend he’d ever had wasn’t really his at all.
The next morning, Cole woke early, precariously balanced on the very edge of the bed while Ridley imitated a starfish beside him. Cole’s ribs ached from holding his position while sleeping. But despite that, he took a minute to admire the expanse of Ridley’s back dotted with freckles before getting up. He let his gaze slide down Ridley to his lush butt encased in boxer briefs. He hadn’t yet bottomed for Cole. But God, he’d love to slip under the covers right then and use his tongue to soften up Ridley before slowly fucking him awake.
Laughter drifted from the kitchen, and Cole squeezed the base of his morning wood. Yeah, sexy times weren’t going to happen. Instead, he slipped into the shower, jerked off quickly, and got dressed again in Ridley’s clothes from the day before. His overnight bag sat against the wall, ignored except for the toothbrush Cole put to use. He could have worn something of his own, but when he’d come out of the shower the evening before to see Ridley’s clothes laid out on the bed like a gift, he couldn’t resist.
Now, he wondered if he shouldn’t have worn them. It probably sent the wrong message to pretty much everyone. Especially himself. But the damage was done, so he didn’t second-guess it now. He finger-combed his hair, figuring he’d mess with it later, and ventured into the kitchen.
Ronnie and Jace stood side by side, leaning against the counter as they ate cereal from a bowl. Coffee percolated in a pot nearby.
“Morning,” Ronnie said. “Sorry, but I don’t cook. No eggs and bacon here.”
Cole waved that off. “No problem. Toast?”
“There’s bread by the toaster. Help yourself.”
Jace cocked an eyebrow, giving him a once-over. His lips twitched. “Sleep well?”
Cole glanced down, and motherfucker, the Pac-Man shirt was inside out. He plucked at his collar. “Oh, yeah. Slept without the shirt. It was too hot.” He grinned gamely. “Guess I’m groggy in the morning.”
“Uh-huh,” Jace said, sounding skeptical.
Cole arched his own eyebrow. “You have a question about my night?”
Jace snorted. “You two seemed pretty cozy, that’s all.”
“I don’t hear a question.”
Ronnie laughed. “Just ignore him. He’s nosy.”
“I just don’t see what the big secret is,” Jace grumbled. “Ridley knows about all my hookups.”
“Maybe he’d rather not know,” Ronnie said pointedly while Cole escaped to make his toast. But apparently Jace wasn’t done grilling him. He cornered Cole by the toaster, a mug of coffee in his hand.
“I was thinking about that comment you made last night, about how lots of guys think Ridley’s hot.”
Cole’s brow creased. “Yeah?”
“That’s you, right?” Jace said. “But the thing is, if he’s so hot, why do you keep trying to change him?”
“I’m not trying to change him,” Cole answered indignantly.
“Please. I know you’re behind the hair and the clothes and stuff. You took him dancing. You’re trying to make him into what you want—”
Cole laughed. “Oh my God.”
“It’s not funny,” Jace said. “Ridley is great just the way he is. If you don’t like that, you should fuck off.”
“Jace!” Ronnie interjected.
“What? Tell me I’m wrong.”
“You’re wrong,” Cole said flatly. “Ridley didn’t do any of that stuff for me. I’m a hairdresser, Jace. How do you think we met? Ridley came to me. I didn’t put him up to anything. Well, maybe the dancing, but he had fun. We danced together all night and—”
He bit down on the instinct to tell Jace that it was fucking hot. That they’d become lovers that night. Because they weren’t lovers, damn it.
“What’s going on in here?” Ridley asked from behind him. “You all look grouchy as hell.”
Jace laughed. “Sorry. You know me in the morning. I’m an ass.”
“No kidding,” Cole muttered under his breath.
Jace shot him a look. “Ridley’s my friend.”
“He’s my friend too,” Cole shot back, smiling at his grimace. “Guess you’ll have to learn to share.”
“Okay,” Ridley said with a laugh. “This isn’t awkward or anything. What the hell did you start, Jace?”
“Why do you assume it was me?”
“It’s always you,” Ronnie answered.
She rinsed out her bowl in the sink as Jace finally backed off, giving Cole the space to plate up two pieces of toast. He carried them and a jar of jam to the table. “You want some?” he asked Ridley.
“Sure, but coffee first,” Ridley said, dropping a hand to squeeze Cole’s shoulder on the way to the coffee pot. Jace didn’t miss the gesture, his eyes narrowing.
And okay, Cole should school his expression, but he smiled smugly. Ridley was touching him like he was the boyfriend, and Jace didn’t like it.
Then the same realization from the night before hit him, and his smile fell.
Shit. Jace didn’t like it.
Cole was just as done as the toast on his plate, wasn’t he?
“I better get going,” Jace said, crossing the room to peck a kiss on Ronnie’s cheek and then Ridley’s temple. Was it Cole’s imagination, or had that kiss lingered a fraction longer than necessary? And Jace’s hand on Ridley’s lower back. Was that really necessary? He tried to recall if Jace had put a hand on Ronnie in the same way and failed.
“Bye, Cole. Take care,” Jace said, and now he was the one smiling smugly as he sauntered out the door.
25
After breakfast, Ridley could see in Cole’s eyes that he was thinking of leaving. So, he dragged him to the living room and demanded he watch Saturday morning cartoons with him, which delighted Cole.
“Tom and Jerry or Loony Tunes?” he asked as Ridley pulled him down on the sofa and wrapped an arm over his shoulder. Cole instantly cuddled in like he was meant to be there, a warm weight resting against Ridley’s chest.
“What generation are you from?” Ridley teased as he picked up the remote with his free hand. “I watch Ninja Turtles. Maybe some Shaun the Sheep because I find their silence oddly compelling.”
Cole snickered. “My nephew loves Shaun the Sheep. And Pingu. It’s a penguin that does nothin
g but make annoying noises.”
“Yeah? You close with your family?”
Cole’s hand was resting over his heart — somehow it always ended up there, as if drawn to the warmth expanding inside Ridley’s chest — and his fingers curled, giving away his tension. “Not close, no.” He flatted his hand, rubbing it in small, circular motions over Ridley’s breastbone. “Well, Aunt Ella is great. Marshall’s mom. She just has the one kid.”
“But not your parents?” Ridley asked tentatively.
Cole sighed, but he stayed curled into Ridley. “It’s not that we hate each other. We just … don’t understand each other. They try, I think, but it’s like we don’t speak the same language.”
“I’m sorry,” Ridley murmured. His parents had always been amazingly supportive. When he’d come out, he’d had Ronnie at his side, and his parents had only hugged him and told him not to give it another thought. He was their son, and he’d love who he loved. Meanwhile, they’d always love him.
They were planning another barbecue for that evening, and right then, Ridley decided he’d convince Cole to go along. Cole was like a flower, blossoming with positive attention. He’d pointed out Ridley’s low self-esteem — rightfully so; Ridley hadn’t realized just how insecure he’d become about his looks until he met Cole — but Cole, Ridley had realized, had his own insecurities. Not about his looks because Cole received a lot of attention, good and bad, for those. His insecurities ran beneath the surface. He was so kind and giving, and yet, he’d dated men like his asshole ex. Even if Travis hadn’t been married and lying to Cole, Ridley was willing to bet he was an asshole.
Ridley’s insecurities had stemmed largely from his failure to draw Jace’s eye. He’d figured he wasn’t good-looking enough to draw his interest. Cole had shown him that he was attractive and sexy. It wasn’t the flirting or flattering either, but the way Cole responded to him in bed. The way he kissed him, touched his body, got hard for him each and every time. The way he came so beautifully, so hard his body shook with pleasure, every time Ridley was with him.
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