Great sex was a powerful aid in raising his self-esteem about his sex appeal. But Cole’s insecurities were a trickier matter. Ridley tried to show him, in little ways, how much he appreciated Cole as a person — and not just as some kind of sexy accessory — but he couldn’t tell yet if it was working.
Ronnie came into the living room, joining them for one episode of Shaun the Sheep before announcing she had shopping to do. She winked at Ridley as she said it, and he realized she was leaving so he could be alone with Cole.
The minute she was gone, he turned off the television.
Cole looked up at him, a question in his expression that Ridley promptly kissed away. “Let’s go back to bed,” he murmured.
Cole followed Ridley to the bedroom, not an ounce of resistance in him despite the realization he was doomed to heartbreak if he continued this way. They kissed slowly, like a couple who did this often instead of crazy, lusty lovers. And between licks and nibbles, they undressed one another.
It didn’t take long to pull off T-shirts and sweatpants. They peeled off briefs, and soon they were naked, pressed chest to chest. Ridley’s chest hair tickled Cole’s nipples, abrading them and making them tingle as they moved from one kiss to the next.
Things were progressing as they always did, with Ridley’s touch lighting up Cole’s skin. He tingled and sparked and longed for more. When Ridley squeezed his ass, he knew what would come next, and sure enough, Ridley’s blunt fingertips dipped into the crease of his ass.
Something made Cole reach back, gripping Ridley’s wrist.
Ridley froze instantly, even though he was surely strong enough to break Cole’s grip. He let Cole push his wrist away, then back toward his own ass.
Cole guided Ridley’s fingers to his own hole, and his breath hitched.
“Fuck, yeah,” he breathed. “Want you inside.”
Cole wasn’t sure why he’d chosen now to switch it up. He often took the lead when they were in bed, even when bottoming, so it wasn’t about control. His emotions were a tumultuous chaos that couldn’t possibly be corralled by taking charge in bed anyhow. There was no putting Pandora — in this case, his heart — back in the box. No, this was about claiming Ridley. About owning as many pieces of him as he possibly could.
“You want me?” Cole asked.
“Yes.”
“So when we open you up, when we spread you wide and fuck you, that’ll be for no one but us, right?” Cole persisted.
Ridley’s breath sped up with the dirty talk. He didn’t talk dirty much himself, but he responded like a champ when Cole went there. “Right. Us.”
Cole could tell by Ridley’s tone he didn’t understand the purpose of Cole’s questions. “Stay there,” Cole said, withdrawing to quickly grab some lube and a condom. He grabbed Ridley’s wrist, drawing it out enough to pump some lube onto his fingers. Then he pushed his hand back. “Finger yourself.”
He watched Ridley’s face, studying his expression as he sank a finger inside. He could see the discomfort as it burned his rim. He watched Ridley pump his finger, rocking his whole body back against his hand. Saw the moment Ridley’s expression shifted to pleasure.
“Two fingers now,” he ordered.
“Yes.”
“This isn’t for anyone but me,” Cole said. “This isn’t for—”
He bit down on his lip, stopping short. He didn’t want to ruin the moment. Ridley was responding beautifully to the fingers in his ass. Cole could see that he must love bottoming, the way he panted and flushed with pleasure just from his own touch.
Ridley’s eyes opened and met Cole’s. He seemed to hear Cole’s unspoken words. His lips dipped in a slight frown. “This is only for us, Cole. You and me.”
Cole kissed him gently. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Shh,” Ridley replied. “It’s fine. I want this with you.”
Then he wrapped a hand around Cole’s neck, pulling him into a deeper kiss. His other hand continued to prep himself. When they broke apart, breathing hard, he smiled.
“Have your wicked way with me,” he said. “I’m ready.”
Ridley was aching to be filled by the time Cole got a condom on and lined up, nudging against his hole. Ridley had turned onto his hands and knees, even if he’d prefer to see Cole’s face. It had been a long time for him, and this would be easier to take. He spread his legs a little wider and arched his back. His balls dangled, making him feel vulnerable, and Cole’s gaze seared his skin.
“So sexy,” Cole said.
Then pressure and fullness obliterated what he said next. Ridley panted through the stretch as Cole worked himself inside him.
“Christ. You’re tight,” he said.
Ridley gave a shaky laugh. “It’s been a while.”
That was putting it mildly. He hadn’t bottomed since college. He’d done it often with his boyfriend at the time, but after they broke up, he’d mostly kept to quick hookups.
Cole kissed his spine between his shoulder blades and coasted a hand up and down his side. “Just give yourself a minute to adjust.”
Ridley could feel Cole inside, incredibly hard and hot. He felt huge, but the longer he didn’t move, the more Ridley grew restless.
“Okay, God, do something.”
A loud breath burst from Cole, and then he rocked his hips back, withdrawing a few inches before pushing back in.
Ridley whimpered. “Yes. Again.”
Cole withdrew farther and then thrust in harder. Then again and again. Until Ridley was moving with him, shoving his hips back to take him deeper. Cole shifted, changing angles, and fireworks went off inside Ridley’s body.
“Yes, fuck!”
Cole hit that magical spot again and again, and Ridley vibrated like a joy buzzer. Except the electricity shooting through him was far more pleasurable. It made his muscles turn to water. Made him want to melt into the bed. And at the same time, pressure mounted. And mounted.
“Ridley, God, are you close?” Cole panted near his ear.
“So close.”
Cole wedged a had under him and closed it around Ridley’s cock.
“Cole,” he groaned.
And then he was coming.
Cole pressed his forehead to the nape of Ridley’s neck and shoved in as deep as he could when Ridley’s ass squeezed his cock like a vise. His own orgasm had hovered near, held back by a thread. Now, that thread snapped, and Cole cried out, jerking, as waves of pleasure tore through him.
Ridley was still shuddering every few seconds, and they laid plastered together, just breathing for several minutes before Cole withdrew. Ridley groaned a little with discomfort as Cole pulled out.
“You okay?” Cole asked, slipping a finger back to trace the puffy edges of Ridley’s hole.
Ridley reddened. “I’m fine. Out of practice.”
There was that dreaded practice word. Cole had made Ridley promise that they were doing this for themselves, but had he meant it? Or was this just practice for Jace, who seemed like the type who would want to top.
“Lie down with me,” Ridley ordered, and Cole let himself be drawn into a cuddle. He sighed as their skin pressed together. Even sticky and uncomfortable, he felt reassured when he was touching Ridley’s flesh. As if the skin itself had some comforting properties to transmit to him.
“My parents are having a barbecue today,” Ridley said out of the blue.
“Oh.” Cole craned his head to search for a clock. He didn’t find one. “What time is it? I should probably head home.”
Ridley tightened his arms around Cole, holding him tighter to his body. “That wasn’t a hint to get lost. It was an invitation.”
“What?”
“Come to my parents’ barbecue with me and Ronnie. It’ll be fun.”
Cole pulled away from Ridley, sitting up to look at him. “I don’t know. I could go by the LGBT Center.”
“Is it your day to volunteer?”
“No…”
“Please, Cole?” Ridley sa
id, gazing at him with those big brown eyes. How was he supposed to resist the Bambi look? “My parents are easy-going, and the food is great. I want them to meet you anyway.”
Cole’s stomach flipped over. “You do?”
“Yeah. I bring friends over all the time,” he said. “It’s no big deal.”
And now his stomach sank.
“I guess, if it’s no big deal,” he said a little flatly. Ridley didn’t seem to notice his tone. He grinned wide and popped up to smack a kiss to Cole’s cheek.
“Awesome! Let’s get showered and dressed before Ronnie gets back. I’m pretty sure she left so we could do this, but I’d rather not be sticky with cum when she returns.”
26
Ridley rummaged through his new wardrobe to put together an ensemble of navy-blue shorts and a plain white T-shirt to wear to the barbecue, but when Cole saw it, he marched to Ridley’s closet and sorted through his T-shirts until he found a gray Lego Movie one and thrust it toward him.
“It’s a barbecue, and Jace won’t even be there,” Cole said. He jiggled the shirt from his hands. “This is you. Don’t give up being you.” He pointed to the words on his own shirt, which he’d pulled from his overnight bag. “Be Brave, Be Fabulous.”
Ridley rolled his eyes. “A geeky T-shirt is hardly fabulous—”
“Speak for yourself,” Cole said fiercely, his eyes bright. “I think everything about you is fabulous.”
Ridley was speechless. No one had ever said something like that to him before. He changed his shirt, of course. How could he not after that impassioned remark? He liked the shirt, smiling when he caught a glimpse of it in the mirror, so maybe Cole had a point. He had nicer clothes for when he wanted to dress to impress, but why was he trying so hard for a barbecue? With his parents? They knew all his quirks already, and they loved him anyway.
Cole busied himself in the bathroom with his hair, but Ridley hadn’t missed the flush in his cheeks as he handed over the shirt. Once again, Cole had complimented him. Once again, Ridley hadn’t known what to say.
But he did know one thing: He wasn’t the only one deserving of compliments.
He stood in the bathroom doorway, leaning a shoulder at the door frame as he watched Cole finish messing up his hair into the perfect tousled style. The man had magic fingers — in more ways than one.
Ridley shifted, thinking of the way Cole had used his fingers on him. Trailing over his skin. Pressing inside his body. Working their magic until they short-circuited his system.
He cleared his throat, willing his dick not to get hard from the memories. They didn’t have time for sex now, and he didn’t want Ronnie to see him sporting a boner for Cole. She already gave him enough grief about his relationship with Cole, as impermanent and vaguely defined as it was.
Cole glanced up, catching his eye in the mirror. “What’s up?”
Ridley smiled. “Just thinking that you’re pretty fabulous yourself.”
Cole lowered his eyes, but his lips curled in a tiny, shy smile. Ridley hadn’t ever seen Cole look shy before, and he immediately resolved to compliment him more often. Every day. Maybe every hour.
“I’m almost ready,” Cole said.
“You always look amazing,” Ridley said honestly. “But there’s no rush. Let me know when you’re good to go.”
Cole’s shy smile turned playful. “I’m always good to go.”
Ridley laughed. “Don’t make me drag you back to bed. We don’t have time for that.”
Cole blinked innocently. “Of course not. What do you think I am?”
“Tempting,” Ridley answered as he walked away before he gave in to his urge to run his hands through the hair Cole had been so carefully styling. “I think you’re very tempting.”
Cole’s musical laughter followed him down the hall.
When they arrived at Ridley’s house, Ridley’s mother greeted him warmly, her eyes full of questions. She kept looking at Ronnie, oddly enough. Ronnie, for her part, shrugged a lot. Clearly, this family had some kind of nonverbal communication voodoo Cole’s family had never mastered outside of icy glares.
Like their cute, boxy brick house with framed family photos on the wall and heights for Ronnie and Ridley etched on the kitchen door frame in pencil with years notated next to each new growth spurt, the Massey family was wholesome goodness.
“We met when Cole cut my hair,” Ridley said after his mother prodded for more details. “He’s a hairdresser at a trendy salon called Fringe.”
“Oh, I’ve heard of it,” Patsy said with a smile. “One of my girlfriends goes to see an Elaine? I think she’s the owner.”
“Eileen,” Cole supplied. “She’s great.”
“Well, Cole, I really must hug you,” Patsy said with a grin. “Ridley has been in need of a new haircut for ages, and you did such a great job with it. He looks like a respectable man instead of some sort of stoner who lives with his mom.”
“Wow, thanks a lot,” Ridley said dryly.
Cole chuckled as he was drawn into a hug. Not just a quick embrace either, but a tight squeeze that made warmth circulate throughout his body. Patsy smelled of flour and lemon, lovely kitchen scents that made him hungry.
When she pulled back, she touched his cheek. “You are a handsome one, aren’t you?” She glanced at Ridley. “Where’s Jace?”
The question hit Cole like a punch in the gut. He sensed the unasked question there: I thought you loved Jace? He felt like an intruder despite her warm greeting.
“Working,” Ridley said. “I always invite him when he’s available, so don’t guilt me.”
She lifted her hands. “It was an innocent question.”
Ronnie snorted from where she stood pilfering strawberries off the cutting board. “You don’t know the meaning of the word innocent, Mom.”
Patsy huffed. “With children like these, who needs enemies?”
“You raised good ones,” Cole said sincerely.
She smiled softly. “I did, didn’t I? Ridley, take Cole out and introduce him to your father. You know we want to meet all your friends.”
Cole lowered his voice on their way outside. Ronnie had hung back to “help” her mother, but he was pretty sure she just wanted to graze the food Patsy was assembling for side items.
“Um, is your mom okay with me being here? The way she said friends...”
Ridley placed his hand on Cole’s lower back. “It’s fine. She’s just fishing for details. Probably hoping we’re madly in love.” He laughed awkwardly. “Don’t worry about it.”
Cole wasn’t so sure. The way she’d asked about the missing Jace, he suspected she was hoping he hadn’t come into Ridley’s life and ruined an epic love story she’d been building in her mind for years.
He wished he’d just gone home. As much as Cole had loved spending the night with Ridley, it had only clouded his emotions even more. Cuddling with Ridley on the sofa, sleeping in his bed, and now meeting his family? It all hurt because it served to both make him feel more like a boyfriend, instead of a fuck buddy, while also reminding him that he wasn’t Ridley’s boyfriend and would never be.
Ridley’s heart was reserved for someone else. And that had ceased to be an inconvenient truth and started to be a sliver in Cole’s heart, slowly festering inside him until eventually something would have to come to the surface or the infection would kill him.
Ridley’s mom took to Cole right away. He could tell from the look in her eye that she was dying to smother him in motherly affection and was just waiting for her cue from Ridley. His dad was less demonstrative, having always been more of an introvert. He’d greeted Cole politely enough when he was introduced, but it wasn’t until Ridley brought him a beer while his mom dragged Cole around her garden, that he got a true sense of what his father was thinking.
His father took a gulp of the beer, then nodded toward Cole. “He’s certainly bright.”
“Oh, yeah, his clothes,” Ridley had said with a nod, wondering if his dad was bothered by
Cole’s appearance. He’d always accepted Ridley’s sexuality, but Ridley didn’t particularly fit any of the “gay man” stereotypes. He easily passed for straight. Not because he was uber masculine. Honestly? He’d always been good at flying under the radar. It was a skill he’d learned in high school, when it’d been necessary to avoid the bullies. Before Jace came along and appointed himself Ridley’s protector.
But his dad had only grinned. “He fits right into your mother’s garden, hmm? He makes you a little brighter too.”
Ridley cast a look out over the riotous garden as his cheeks heated. His mother wasn’t a neat, organized gardener. She liked to plant native plants and let them do their worst. As a result, just past the patio, a mix of native grasses, blooming bushes, and the occasional perennial flower competed for space, leaving only a narrow path through the yard. A birdbath and two hummingbird feeders were strategically placed, along with some fun garden art — Ridley’s favorite gift item for his mom. A small grouping of cast-iron sunflowers stood tall among a clump of milkweed planted to nourish Monarch butterflies. The garden also included marigolds, goldenrods, gama grass, verbena, and other things Ridley had given up trying to identify.
“Thanks,” Ridley mumbled, aware that his mom and dad had seen right through his introduction of Cole as a “friend.” They were both kidding themselves with this friends with benefits label. From the very first night they’d hung out, Ridley had felt the flutter of attraction and the hum of sexual tension between them. He’d been fixated on his crush on Jace, or he would have recognized immediately that Cole could never be just a friend.
His eyes landed on the man in question, standing now and following his mother through the garden. Cole smiled and nodded as Ridley’s mom pointed to a flowering bush with small, white blossoms. Uh-oh. Ridley hoped Cole was ready for the full garden experience because his mom had that bright look on her face that said she was going to teach him about the magic of gardening.
Cole leaned over, brushing a fingertip along the edge of a petal, and Ridley felt that same finger brushing over his skin. The ghost of a memory, but enough to make him shiver.
Operation Makeover Page 20