Operation Makeover

by D. J. Jamison

  She glanced down at the screen, her forehead creasing as she read.

  “Is it Ridley?” Gabrielle asked, leaning over for a look.

  Anita flipped the phone around and slid it in front of Cole. “What does he mean, if he’s going on the date with Jace?”

  Cole read the text.

  Ridley: If I’m going on this date with Jace, I need you to help me get ready for it. 7 p.m. Friday. No excuses! You said we’d still be friends. Prove it.

  That set off a storm of emotions. Elation at the prospect of seeing Ridley in the flesh. Dread at watching him leave on his date with another man. Regret that he hadn’t begged Ridley to be with him instead. It wouldn’t be easy to go over there and help him get ready. Cole should probably just stand him up, but …

  Maybe it would be good too. Closure. A way for Cole to officially come full circle, from the day Ridley started his makeover to the day he won his man, and let go of any lingering hopes for the two of them.

  “Cole,” Anita said sternly. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  Cole took a bracing drink. He was going to need liquid courage to weather Anita’s reaction.

  “I told him to go on the date.”

  “What?” she squawked.

  “He’s in love with Jace,” Cole said defensively. “The makeover was for Jace. Ridley was never meant for me.”

  “If he’s in love with Jace, why’d he need you to tell him to go on the date?” Gabrielle asked.

  “She raises a good point,” Anita added.

  “Come on. You know we’ve been sleeping together. He obviously feels guilty. It’s awkward all around.”

  “I guess,” Anita said skeptically.

  “I call bullshit,” Gabrielle said, surprising him because she was usually the sweeter of the two women. “If it’s so awkward, he wouldn’t be asking you to help him get ready for the date.”

  Cole shrugged. “Guess he’s desperate.”

  “Maybe,” Anita murmured looking thoughtful. “You know what I think?”

  “What?”

  “I think Ridley’s not ready to let you go. That means you have a shot.”

  Cole shook his head. “I’m not taking any shots. I walked away, remember? I’m trying to let him go.”

  “But why? You have to fight for what you want! If you want Ridley, and I know you do, you can’t just hand him over to Jace. Go show him why you’re the better choice.”

  “I can’t,” Cole insisted. “What if I convince him and then he regrets it? What if I’m the wrong choice for him? What if after the shine wears off, he realizes he still wants Jace, and he breaks my heart?”

  “You can’t dwell on every what-if in life,” Gabrielle said. “You’ll drive yourself crazy.”

  Anita reached out and clasped his hand. Looking him in the eye, she said, “Repeat after me: I, Cole, am worthy of love.”

  “Anita—”

  “Do it!”

  Cole reluctantly echoed her words. “I, Cole, am worthy of love.”

  “I’m worthy of a nice guy. Say it.”

  Cole pulled a face. “I’m worthy of a nice guy.”

  “If Ridley chooses to be with me, it’s because I’m talented and amazing and I give fantastic head—”

  “How do you know that?” Cole objected.

  “I have my sources. Now say it.”

  Cole rolled his eyes, but he repeated the words. “Happy now?”

  “Are you?”

  His eyes burned. “No.”

  “Then you have to do something about that, Cole.”

  “But what if—”

  Gabrielle made a loud buzzer sound. “No what-ifs!”

  “Ridley’s a grown man,” Anita said. “If he chooses to be with you, it’s what he wants. You should respect his ability to make his own choices, right?” When he didn’t answer, she raised an eyebrow. “Right?”

  “Right.”

  “So? What are you going to do?”

  His shoulders hitched. “I’ll think about it,” he said. Then picked up his glass. “Maybe another margarita will help?”

  Anita grabbed the glass. “Nope. No drinking until you’ve gone after your man.”

  “What?” Cole looked at her, aghast. “I’m only on drink two. That’s not enough to drown my sorrows. That’s not even enough to bathe my sorrows. It’s like a splash. A tiny drop in the ocean of my pain.”

  “Let’s go,” she said, dropping two twenties on the table. “You need to go home and start thinking about how you’re going to be with the man you love. Moping won’t help.”

  “But I’m good at moping,” Cole said,

  “Too good,” Anita agreed. “But I’d like to see you happy, and being with Ridley, official or not, is the happiest I’ve ever seen you. So, don’t sabotage yourself, Cole. Go get him.”

  Ridley waited on pins and needles for a response to his text, but Cole didn’t answer until the following morning.

  Cole: I’m happy to help you!

  It wasn’t the reply Ridley had hoped for. Where was that nasty green-eyed monster when he needed him? Maybe Cole really didn’t want to be with him if he was this chipper about helping him get ready for the date. Cole had said they could just have fun. Ridley thought their fun had shifted closer to love, but maybe he was a naïve idiot.

  When Jace asked him on that date, he’d said no as nicely as he could. He’d wanted to laugh at the irony when Jace’s expression morphed from anticipation to disappointment, then shock. “No?” he’d said. “But I thought …”

  “That I had a crush on you?” Ridley said. “I did. For a long time. But … I’ve met someone who’s more than a crush. And I think I’d regret it if I didn’t try to be with him.”

  Ironic, him using the word regret. He’d come to hate it since Cole walked away from him.

  “Cole,” Jace guessed.

  “Yeah,” Ridley said.

  “So, you’re sticking with complicated,” Jace had said, brushing off the rejection like a bit of lint and smiling. “Good luck, man.”

  “I’m going to need it,” Ridley had said. “I get the feeling Cole thinks he’s my second choice.”

  “Why would he think that?”

  Ridley grimaced. “So, you know how I got new hair and clothes?”

  “You did it for him?”

  Ridley laughed ruefully. “Nope. It was for you.” When Jace’s eyebrows shot up, Ridley rolled his eyes at himself. “I just wanted you to see me differently. I thought if you could see past our memories of high school, to the man underneath—”

  He stopped short as Jace’s eyes scanned over him blatantly.

  “Okay, you have to stop that,” he said. “It’s weirding me out.”

  Jace grinned. “Sorry. I can’t say your plan was all bad. I could care less about the clothes you wear. But… there has been something about you these past few weeks. You’ve been more sure of yourself. Confident. It’s an attractive quality.”

  Ridley gave him a skeptical look. “So you were just checking out my confidence?”

  Jace snorted. “Your confidence made me want to check out your chest. That and the skintight tank top. So maybe the clothes played a small part,” he allowed. “But I’m not that superficial, am I?”

  Ridley shrugged. “We’ve been friends for years. I didn’t know how else to get your attention.”

  “Um, maybe tell me?” Jace had suggested with a laugh.

  They’d laughed together, then gotten up and hiked back to the car. Surprisingly, it hadn’t even been awkward as they headed back to the house. Jace had asked him out, sure, but he hadn’t professed his love. And, Ridley realized, he really and truly had no romantic feelings for Jace anymore. They were better off as friends.

  But his phone call with Cole had been a disaster. Partly because he was busy and distracted, but Ridley suspected Cole was glad not to have time for a longer discussion. He’d made his decision, and he was obviously sticking to it, but Ridley wasn’t giving up that easily.


  He wished he’d just confessed that Saturday night to loving Cole, but he hadn’t been prepared for that crossroads moment. Everything had been perfect one minute, and then exploding in his face the next. And he still wasn’t 100 percent sure of Cole’s feelings. Maybe he walked away to protect his heart, or maybe Jace was just a handy excuse to make a break because he wasn’t interested anymore.

  Either way, if Ridley had been honest, he’d know for sure. And he didn’t intend to make the same mistake twice. One way or other, Cole would know how he felt when he came over Friday night. Because Ridley wasn’t going on that damn date.

  He loved Cole. He wanted to be with him the way he had that weekend. Wanted to share his life, permanently.

  He was going to have to go out on a limb. Hold out his heart and hope that Cole took it. He couldn’t lose Cole because he was too afraid to leap. Maybe … Cole would reject him. But maybe he wouldn’t.

  The risk would be worth it.

  30

  Cole’s gut was twisted with nerves and uncertainty.

  He’d agreed to help Ridley get ready for his date with Jace — taking a rip the bandage off the wound approach to his misery — but he wasn’t sure he could handle the reality of watching Ridley go out with Jace. That’s why he’d cut and run in the first place.

  Plus, he had five eager teens lined up for pro bono hairstyling. Anita was covering another half dozen. He’d told Ridley yes before he considered that it was the same day as Pride Prom for LGBTQ teens.

  Ridley would understand if he couldn’t make it. Although ... technically, he could.

  Cole was still undecided, thumbs hovering over his phone keyboard, when his first excited teen arrived. Lynn, who’d teased him for crushing on Ridley that first time Ridley came to the LGBT Center. After her was Miles, who asked for a cut like Ridley’s — was this day designed to rub his heartache in his face or what? — and then Ronnie, who had volunteered to help at the dance. Obviously, Ridley wouldn’t be going so he was really going to need her there. Theo had a drag show in Wichita; and Anita was doing hair, which was more than enough to ask of her.

  Cole piled up her wavy hair, trying like hell not to compare the texture to Ridley’s. They’re not identical. Just stop it.

  “He misses you,” Ronnie said.

  Cole’s hands stilled. “Please don’t. I need to focus.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said softly. “I just thought you should know before you see him tonight.”

  His heart tripped. He still hadn’t told Ridley no. He drew the line at standing him up, so after Ronnie left to finish handling decorations at the banquet hall, he pulled out his phone and dashed off a text.

  Cole: Sry. Too busy with kids for prom tonite. Good luck w/date!

  Then, feeling sick to his stomach, he turned off his phone before he had to face a reply from Ridley. Guilt gnawed at him as he fixed a smile for his next giddy prom-goer.

  Two hours later, Cole said goodbye to Anita and began to sweep up. Every few seconds his eyes went to the clock. Still time to go see Ridley before the date, if you hurry.

  He continued sweeping, then wiped down his station. When he began to dust off his bottles of styling products, he had to admit he was killing time on purpose. Trying to make his lie to Ridley a truth, maybe.

  Shaking his head at himself, he took out his keys and headed for the front door. It opened before he got there, and Travis stepped inside.

  Cole stopped short, gripping the keys in his hand hard enough to hurt. The thought went through his head that he could use them as a weapon if necessary.

  “What are you doing here?” Cole asked.

  “I just wanted to talk, and I figured going to your place was a bad idea.”

  “After what you did? Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry about the misunderstanding,” Travis said. “I shouldn’t have leaped to conclusions. I know you didn’t out me.”

  “That’s great. You can leave now.”

  Travis came closer instead of leaving, and Cole backed up a step.

  “Babe, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m here to apologize.”

  “Let’s hear it then,” Cole said, hoping that humoring him would get this over with sooner. Travis wore that placating expression Cole hated. The one where he acknowledged doing something wrong but also played the victim.

  “Anna busted into my social media profiles. She even sent you some nasty messages. That’s how she found out. It’s been pretty awful for me.”

  “Huh. Well, that explains a couple of weird things you said.”

  “Like what?”

  Cole shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”

  “Anna left me. I’m officially a single man. A single, gay man. No more closet.”

  “Wow. I’m sorry?”

  “Maybe it’s a good thing. We can be together now.”

  Cole blinked. He hadn’t seen that coming.

  “Think about it, Cole!” Travis said enthusiastically. “My marriage is the only reason we broke up. I couldn’t abandon Anne. But I still love you.”

  Cole’s stomach curdled. “I was never your first choice. I’m still not. If Anne wasn’t leaving—”

  “But she is,” Travis said. “Why do you need to be more important than her? I made vows. You really think I should have violated them?”

  You promised to remain faithful. Your vows didn’t matter so much when you wanted in my pants.

  Cole didn’t say that. He didn’t want to escalate the discussion, only end it calmly.

  “I just want to come first for someone. If I want to be a second choice, I could be with Ridley. At least he always treated me like I came first, even if I didn’t.”

  “Who, that guy you were with? You can’t honestly want him over me?”

  Ridley never treated me like a second choice. Not once. Not even the night Cole spent hanging out with Jace and Ridley in the same room. Did that mean something?

  Cole glanced at the clock. If he left now, he could make it. He might be a few minutes late for prom, but he had a change of clothes ready to go in the back room. It wouldn’t take him long.

  “Cole?”

  “Sorry. Too little too late.”

  “Really, a cliché is all I get?”

  Cole smiled bitterly. “Better than a police report. Now, get out before I call them.”

  “Okay, relax,” Travis said in a sulky tone. “Can I get a goodbye kiss at least?”

  Cole grabbed the nearest flatiron. “Try it, and I will brain you!”

  “Fucking touchy,” Travis snapped before turning on his heel. “I didn’t want to deal with a drama queen anyway!”

  The door slammed. And he called Cole the drama queen. Ridley would never act that way. He was too mature. He’d been unhappy when Cole left, but he hadn’t tried to control Cole. He’d respected his decisions.

  But Cole hadn’t done the same. He’d refused to listen when Ridley wanted to talk. What if Ridley really did want Cole over Jace?

  Cole broke into a run, skidding into the back room and changing his clothes in record time. Then he kept to the speed limit, barely, as he drove to Ridley’s house.

  “God, it’s going to be close,” he muttered, looking at the time. “Don’t let me be too late. One chance to lay it on the line. If it’s not what he wants, okay. But Anita was right. I have to try.”

  Cole didn’t see any VWs in the driveway when he arrived. Ronnie would be at the prom already. Guilt twisted his insides once more as he pulled into the drive and shifted into park. He should be there. The kids needed him, and it was probably too late—

  You have to fight, Anita’s voice echoed in his head. Great, he thought, as he flung open the car door and ran up the front steps. It wasn’t enough that Anita lectured him in person, now she was going to do it in his mind?

  Cole hit the doorbell, then bounced on his toes impatiently. He strained to hear any sounds of movement inside, but there was nothing. He pounded on the door with his fist. “Ridley? You here?”
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br />   He knocked again, his heart sinking. It was too late. The next time he saw Ridley, he’d be with another man.

  Cole had missed his chance to help Ridley as promised. Missed his chance to fight for Ridley instead of running away. Missed his chance to be brave and go after what he wanted, the way he was always telling Ridley to do.

  He turned back to the car. Pride Prom was underway, and people were counting on him.

  Cole wanted to disappear into a pitcher of margaritas. At least a hangover would make him focus on his immediate pain rather than the ache in his heart.

  Tempted as he was, he drove past Q and past the Irish pub on the corner. He had a dance to help chaperone.

  Put your game face on, Cole. These kids need flair tonight, not despair. They get enough of that as it is.

  Ridley knew exactly where to find Cole, thanks to Pride Prom. They were supposed to volunteer together, before everything went to hell. Ronnie had suggested he could still show up to chaperone, but he thought it was better to talk to Cole alone, away from a roomful of curious teens. He’d also thought his plan to lure Cole over before his “date” was clever.

  Showed what he knew. Cole had sent him a text to cancel a couple of hours earlier, and his phone had gone straight to voicemail when Ridley tried to call. Either he’d turned it off or blocked Ridley. He really hoped it was the former.

  Time for Plan B.

  Ridley parked at the Sunflower Suites, where the prom was being held, and jogged across the parking lot. He’d dressed in the suit Cole seemed to find so flattering, knowing he’d be going to the dance with Cole if his plans had panned out. He’d hoped to arrive as Cole’s date. Now, he just wanted to lay eyes on the man.

  Ridley walked down halls for what seemed like forever before he found the right banquet room. He impatiently purchased a ticket at the front table, thanking Miles distractedly for his compliments on his suit, eager to find Cole and finally talk to him again. Assuming he didn’t shut down Ridley before he could begin.

  He stepped inside and scanned for Cole.