A Brave Start

by Andrea J Severson

  Furiously, “What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing Mark?!”

  “Oh come on Eleanor! You felt that, you know you did!” Mark replied pleadingly.

  “What I felt was your tongue down my throat you creep! Something you most definitely did not have permission to do. I thought you understood, I don’t want to be with you Mark, I just want to be friends! I thought I could trust you, god, how stupid can I be?!” she asked, more to herself than to Mark.

  “You’re not stupid Eleanor, you’re smart and beautiful and amazing, why is it so hard to understand why I want you?”

  “You don’t want me, you don’t even know me! Not really. And you certainly don’t respect me, so why would I want you?! You know what Mark, you can take your ideas of friendship and go fling them in the Thames. And then you can leave me the hell alone. I’m so done with you.” Eleanor felt a rage she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Not since her trip to Manhattan and the events that led up to her falling out with her father. Before she could say anything else, or worse, slap Mark across the face, she turned on her heel and stalked off down Queen Street towards Covent Garden, she could sense Mark start to follow her and she whipped around to face him.

  “In case I wasn’t clear enough before, let me put this in language your one track mind might be able to process. Back off Mark. If you keep following me I will flag down the next cop I see and report you for stalking and harassment. Respect me, just this once, and I’ll consider not telling Jonathan about what you’ve done today and we’ll just politely ignore each other from now on. Keep following me and I’ll tell him what you’ve pulled. I think we both know what his reaction will be.”

  Without waiting for a response Eleanor turned away from him and kept walking into Covent Garden. Thankfully this time he didn’t follow. She walked straight through Covent Garden and towards Leicester Square, the anger was still too strong and she still felt filled with adrenaline. She knew there was no way she was going to get any writing done today, so she kept walking, eventually making it to Oxford Street. Since it was now nearly four o’clock, it was starting to get dark, and much colder. She bundled her coat and scarf around herself more tightly. She soon spotted a Waterstones bookstore across from Selfridges and veered left, sailing through the doors without thinking. A bookstore was the perfect place to calm herself down. Inside the store it was significantly quieter compared to outside. She wandered up to the second floor, instinctively seeking out the Jane Austen shelf, hoping for comfort from familiar characters and words. She walked up and down the aisles, scanning the book spines, knowing she was getting closer. She could feel the tension start to dissipate and her shoulders began to feel more relaxed. As she reached the end of the aisle, and was about to turn down the next one when she looked up and spotted Patrick a few rows away, a few books in his hand. She suddenly remembered she hadn’t responded to the text he sent a couple days ago, she didn’t even know he was back in London. She was unsure if she should say hello, she felt guilty for neglecting his texts but she desperately needed a friend right now.

  As if sensing he was being watched, Patrick glanced up and saw Eleanor frozen in place. His eyes lit up at the sight of her and Eleanor’s heart leapt.

  “You’re, umm, back in London,” she stammered, for lack of anything better to say as he approached.

  “And you, Miss Gordon, have been ignoring me,” Patrick replied with a serious expression.

  “No! I haven’t! I mean, not really, or at least not intentionally, I’m so sorry Patrick, I am. I’ve been a crap friend and you’ve been so nice to text me even though I know you’ve been so busy and traveling and I’m sorry I didn’t respond to your last text I’ve just been so busy writing and it’s finally working but that’s still not an excuse to ignore you and be so horrible,” Eleanor blurted out, not taking a breath as she tried to apologize, a look of horror on her face at the thought that Patrick had thought she was deliberately ignoring him. Just when she thought this day couldn’t get any worse.

  Suddenly Patrick started to laugh, holding his hands up, “Slow down Eleanor, I’m only teasing you! I know you’ve been busy writing. I just got back last night, I was going to text you today but then got stuck in a meeting this morning. I’m glad to bump into you like this, it saves me the trouble of texting you this evening to ask you to coffee tomorrow.” Noticing that Eleanor still looked distraught, “Hey, Eleanor, really, it’s ok, I didn’t really think you were ignoring me. Wait, has something happened? Are you ok?” Concern spread across his face, “You look like you’re about to faint. What’s wrong?”

  “Oh nothing, I’m fine, it’s just been a bad afternoon. Well, it wasn’t all bad. It started out fine, but then it took a sharp turn into total crap and I’m still so angry I could punch something—”

  “Whoa, hold on. What’s made you so angry?” Patrick asked worriedly, seeing her seething with anger, it was radiating off her in waves. “Wait, let’s not talk in the middle of the book store, I need to pay for these books, then we’ll go find a quiet place to sit and you can tell me everything from the beginning.”

  Eleanor could only nod in agreement and she followed Patrick downstairs to the till where he paid for his books. They walked out and Patrick flagged down a cab and ushered her inside. She didn’t even hear where he told the cab to go, she just put her head in her hands and rubbed her temples a little, trying to relieve the headache that as building. A few minutes later they pulled up outside a small, unassuming restaurant on a quiet street somewhere in Mayfair Eleanor thought. She took Patrick’s hand when he offered to help her out of the cab and she followed him inside. He said hello to the man who met them at the door.

  “Hey Charles, got a table for two?” Patrick said with a smile, shaking hands with Charles, a kind looking man in his mid-40s.

  “For you I always have a table Patrick. But as we don’t open for dinner for another couple hours you have your pick of the place,” Charles said with a wink.

  “This is my friend Eleanor. Eleanor, this is Charles, a friend of my family’s and owner of this fine establishment.”

  “Pleased to meet you,” Eleanor said automatically, even in her current state she knew there was no excuse for bad manners.

  “A pleasure m’dear,” Charles replied. Looking between Patrick and Eleanor, “What can I get the two of you, I can have the chef whip something up.”

  “Oh no,” Patrick replied, “We don’t want to cause a hold up with your dinner preparations. If we could just trouble you for a pot of coffee and any pastries left over from this morning?”

  “I’ll bring it out myself, just give me a few minutes. Sit wherever you like.” Charles hurried back towards the kitchen and Patrick lead Eleanor to a booth in the back corner.

  “I hope this place is ok, I knew they’d be between services today and it would be quiet. Charles often lets me come in for coffee in the middle of the afternoon like this when it’s quiet.”

  “It’s fine,” Eleanor said distractedly. Looking around, “It’s nice.”

  “We can stay for dinner later, if you want, or I can take you home after we’ve had coffee and warmed up. And after you’ve filled me in on what’s happened, if you feel like talking about it.”

  Charles soon brought over a couple giant croissants and a pot of coffee with cream and sugar. Haltingly at first, Eleanor started telling Patrick about what had happened since the night they had dinner. About coming home to find Mark at the flat with Jonathan and them agreeing to start over as friends. The time she spent in a haze of writing and feeling better than she had in weeks. Seeing Mark at the pub last night and agreeing to meet him today. As if sensing where her story was going, a dark expression came over Patrick’s face. When she got to the end of the story and told him how she’d threatened to tell Jonathan about Mark’s behavior today Patrick interrupted.

  “As well you should! I can’t believe that bastard! How dare he force himself on you like that.”

  Quietly, “I wouldn’t
say he forced himself, I mean, I didn’t want him to kiss me but at least that’s all he tried.” Although as she said it, she knew she lying to herself. Past experience had taught her better.

  “Eleanor, you just said it. You didn’t want him to kiss you. But he did. By definition, he forced himself on you. Just because he didn’t drag you down an alleyway and do something worse doesn’t make his behavior any less reprehensible. And your cousin has a right to know!”

  “They’re friends Patrick,” Eleanor cried out quietly. “They’ve been friends for a long time, even before LSE, they went to Eton together. And then Cambridge for their undergrad studies.”

  “Your cousin went to Eton? When?”

  “I can’t remember.”

  “Sorry, not important. I was just wondering if I knew him, or this Mark fellow. I went to Eton.”

  “Oh, well, if you were there at the same time, I’m sorry to say my cousin doesn’t remember you,” Eleanor said with a small laugh. “He only vaguely knew who you were when I mentioned you were in that football movie.”

  Patrick laughed, “Fair enough.”

  Eleanor gave a small smile at the memory of that conversation. It felt like a lifetime ago.

  “But seriously,” Patrick said, “You need to tell Jonathan. He deserves to know. And you definitely shouldn’t be around Mark anymore.”

  “Oh, believe me, I will be avoiding him like the plague,” Eleanor said bitterly.

  “I’m sorry this happened Eleanor,” Patrick said sincerely. “You don’t deserve this.”

  “Thanks. And thanks for bringing me here and for listening.”

  “That’s what friends are for.”

  “Well, thanks for being my friend. I really needed this. I’m glad I ran into you this afternoon.”

  Patrick smiled gently, “I admit, I was a little worried when I saw you. I knew you weren’t ignoring my texts but I still worried that I was making you feel pressured. Truth be told, I don’t have very many friends myself. A few good mates from Eton and Oxford and from drama school, but for the most part it’s a small group, and only a couple of them live in London. It’s rare that I connect with new people enough to develop a friendship. I’ve enjoyed my time with you and getting to know you, so I wouldn’t want to do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.” Again Eleanor noticed a rare moment of vulnerability in his expression.

  “Oh Patrick,” Eleanor sighed, suddenly feeling really bad for not texting him back, “you haven’t made me feel uncomfortable, far from it. You’ve been a good friend, and I loved hearing from you while you were gone. I swear, the only reason I didn’t respond all the time was because I was so busy writing. I have so much catching up to do but I think I’m actually going to make it."

  Looking down at the plates covered in croissant crumbs and checking his watch, “It’s nearly time for them to start serving dinner. Why don’t we order something and you can tell me about your writing?” Patrick suggested with a smile.

  Charles brought over menus and once the kitchen had reopened they ordered dinner. Eleanor told Patrick about her walk in the park and her idea for the book. Just as she’d done with Jack, she didn’t tell Patrick all of the personal inspiration that went into her idea, but kept to the story of the characters and how she was finally getting to understand her protagonist.

  Patrick watched and listened, enthralled, as Eleanor filled him in. Her entire face lit up as she talked about writing, she was so excited. He thought that he could sit here for hours listening to her talk about her work and after seeing her so upset earlier it was a relief to see her look so happy now.

  As they ate their dinner Eleanor asked him about his trip to the States. He gave her the full story of the meetings he’d attended in New York and LA. There were two major productions that wanted him in the starring roles. The one he’d met for in New York would start right after New Year’s but would shoot in the London area. It was a small film, a personal story about love and relationships he said, it would be just him and three other actors and he was really excited about the chance to do serious character development with the character he would play. The second film, that they had flown him to LA for, was a huge action film, sort of James Bond meets Mission: Impossible and Bourne Identity. He’d play the mysterious MI-6 agent, that could possibly be a double agent for the Russian FSB. There were several other major movie stars signed up already to play various CIA and MI-6 agents, none of them knowing who might be double crossing the others. It would be the highest profile role Patrick had played, and though his part was not the largest, it was one of the most dynamic he thought. It was scheduled to start filming in LA in March and would then shoot on location around the world from April through July.

  He was clearly very excited and Eleanor knew both roles would be a huge deal for him. He’d had very prominent roles in the UK and was already fairly well known, with a small but ardent fan base. He was all over Tumblr and though he didn’t post often, his Instagram had almost a million followers. And Eleanor would never admit to how many hours she’d spent watching clips, torrents, and fanvids of him on YouTube. But despite his status as one of Britain’s most crush-worthy actors, next to the likes of Tom Hiddleston or Benedict Cumberbatch or Tom Hardy, he still wasn’t super well known in the States. The small film was bound for Sundance and was predicted to be an indie hit but the big spy film would put him in a major summer blockbuster, opening the following year, starring Brad Pitt, Michael Fassbender, Idris Elba, Kate Winslet, Jessica Chastain, and others yet to be announced. It was going to be a near-guaranteed hit and would make Patrick a household name on both sides of the Atlantic.

  “Or at least that’s what my agent and the producers tell me,” Patrick said with a laugh. “I’m doubtful.”

  “Oh stop being so modest. This is a huge opportunity for you! You must be over the moon,” Eleanor replied enthusiastically.

  “To be honest I’m scared out of my mind,” Patrick said, his voice lowering.

  “You’re going to be brilliant, as always, in both roles. You have accepted them, right?”

  Patrick nodded. “I took a couple days to think about each one before signing the contracts, but yes, I’m officially committed to both. Terrifying as that feels.”

  “Each one is just another role. Just like you’ve done a bunch of times already. Different characters but the process is the same. You’re going to be great. I just can’t wait for them to come out, I want to see each one already!” Eleanor said laughing.

  “You know, to be honest, I want to see the spy film so bad!” Patrick admitted, smiling like an excited five year old. “It’s exactly the kind of movie I grew up watching. Playing a spy in an action film like this is a dream come true. It’s the kind of project that got me into wanting to do films in the first place, as opposed to focusing only on stage work.”

  “See? It was meant to be,” Eleanor stated with finality.

  As Patrick smiled at her, she thought about how nice it was talking to him and how much better she felt. She needed the day to end like this. It was amazing how much better she always felt with Patrick. He always put her at ease and she didn’t feel awkward talking to him, even about her writing, something she usually struggled talking to people about. And after hearing all his good news, she was so happy for him she could burst.

  Once they were done eating, they paid their bill, Patrick not even blinking an eye when Eleanor fished out her wallet to pay her half. They got a taxi and Patrick took her home, walking her up to the door again.

  “Sleep well Eleanor, I’m glad I got to spend time with you tonight, it was a welcome change of plans.”

  “Thanks, I enjoyed it too,” Eleanor said. “I’d invite you in, but after today’s emotional rollercoaster, I’m shattered.”

  “No, don’t worry about it, I need to get home, I have an early meeting. But I’m still hoping to come over for spag bol and Graham Norton soon.”

  Eleanor laughed, “Definitely, we’ll plan it soon.”

/>   Patrick held out his arms and when she nodded her that she was open to a hug, he pulled Eleanor into a giant hug, that warmed her whole body. She hugged him back until he let her go and with final smile, turned and walked away. It felt lovely not to have to worry about a hug turning into something else.

  Slightly dazed, Eleanor let herself into the flat. Jonathan wasn’t in, she decided she’d tell him about Mark later. She made herself some tea and a bath, and soaked away all the remaining stress of the day, though she really did feel much better thanks to Patrick. Eventually she crawled into bed and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  Chapter 15

  The following week, Eleanor kept up her steady routine of classes, working in the writing center, and writing with Jack, but listening to Jonathan’s advice, she started spending the evenings at home reading or watching movies on her laptop. On Thursday she went about her usual routine, and it wasn’t until she got out of school later in the afternoon and was walking past St. Paul’s Cathedral that she realized what day it was. There was a sign outside advertising their special Thanksgiving Day service for Americans in London. Eleanor’s heart dropped realizing it was Thanksgiving back home. She hadn’t talked to her mom in a few days and Cassie hadn’t mentioned it. The service was already done at the Cathedral so she’d missed that too.