Looking for Love

by Linda Mayes

  ***

  The next day was Friday and there was a carnival at the school in town. Louise had told Grace it was a tradition for all of the kids to go and meet the teachers they’d be spending the next year with. She asked if she would mind if she took the kids along with John’s. Grace thought that would probably be good for them. They were starting to adjust to life here, slowly. They were enjoying their time with Louise and John’s kids. Grace hadn’t seen John again since that first day. She thought that was probably a good thing. It was dangerous for a newly divorced and freshly hurt woman to be so physically attracted to a man that she could hardly think around him. Sarah had asked Grace one day while they were working what she thought about him. Grace had told her that he seemed like a really nice man and she was grateful he was allowing Louise to watch her children while she worked.

  Sarah smiled and said, “That’s all true, but what I meant was—surely you’ve noticed what a handsome man he is?”

  “Hmm. . .I suppose. . .” Grace tried to be nonchalant.

  Sarah wasn’t buying it. She laughed and said, “Please, every single woman in town has been dropping pies and casseroles on his doorstep since his wife left. You’d have to be blind not to see how handsome that boy is.”

  Grace laughed too. “OK, I admit that I’ve noticed his rugged good looks.”

  “Good, I was afraid we needed to get you over to Doc Thomas’ office and get your eyes checked out. Speaking of men—”

  Grace stopped her there. “Whoa, we were talking about John Harwell, not eligible men in general, thank you. The very last thing on my list of things I need right now is a man.”

  “Well, when you’re ready. I just wanted you to know there were plenty of viable options in this town.”

  Grace laughed again and thanked her, changing the subject and getting back to work.

  That Friday afternoon, Charlie had told Grace she could leave early. “It gets slow around here on Friday evening. Sarah and I can handle it. Go home and be with your family.” Grace was thrilled to go early. She was excited to hear how the kid’s day had gone at the school carnival. She checked in with Maggie and then headed out to the Harwell ranch to pick up her babies.

  Grace knocked on the door and was surprised when no one answered. She rang the bell, thinking in that big house, a knock might not be easy to hear. After a few minutes when there was still no answer, she started to worry. She walked the length of the house and went around the back. She could see a man working over near the stables so she walked toward him. When she got close, the man looked up. He was an older man. He had the appearance of a weathered old cowboy who had spent many hours out in the sun.

  “Howdy,” the man said as he noticed her. “You looking for someone?”

  “Yes,” Grace told him. “I was looking for Louise and my children.”

  The man smiled. “You must be Ms. Dowler, I’m Luke. You got some good kids. Ms. Louise took them to that carnival up in town today, I don’t think they’ve come back yet.”

  “Oh, goodness. I thought it would be over by now. Thank you.”

  He tipped his hat at her and said, “My pleasure, ma’am.” He turned back to his horse.

  As Grace was headed back toward the house she saw John. He was riding toward her on atop a big, shiny black horse. He stopped the horse near her. “Hi there, are you looking for your kids?”

  “Yes, I was. Luke said he didn’t think they were back from the carnival yet.”

  “I haven’t seen them come back either,” he told her. He looked at his watch and continued, “They’ll probably be a bit longer. How’d you like to take a ride with me while you wait?”

  Grace thought it over. “I haven’t been on a horse since I was a kid.”

  “That’s okay. You can ride with me and Satan here. He’s as gentle as a lamb,” he said with a grin.

  Grace grinned back. “Of course he is, I’m sure that’s how he earned his name.”

  Extending an arm in her direction, John told her, “I’ll admit, he was a bit of a hell-raiser in his youth, but who wasn’t? He’s an old geezer now, like me.”

  Grace smiled again and took his outstretched hand, allowing herself to be pulled up behind him on the horse. John clucked his tongue at the horse. “Hang on,” he told Grace. Satan lurched forward Grace grabbed John around his waist and held on for dear life.

  Grace thought about the last time she was on a horse as they rode. Her father had taken her riding sometimes on Sundays. It was their thing, something they could do together without Maggie spoiling it. The day before he had left them, she and her father had taken a ride out to their favorite spot and had a picnic. As she thought back, she remembered him saying some things that, had she been older, she might have recognized as a round-a-bout way of saying good-bye. Riding now with John brought up memories she hadn’t had for a long time, both good and bad.

  They rode across a wide, green field where other horses roamed or lounged. The day was warm and the air felt good as it rushed through her hair. She worried for just a moment that her curls would have turned into a frizzy mess by the time they stopped, but then she remembered that she wasn’t going to allow herself to think of him, or any man, that way for a very long time, so it didn’t really matter.

  John pulled on the reins and Satan came to a stop under a huge, old oak tree. He turned to look back at Grace and said, “See? Gentle as a lamb.”

  Grace laughed. “I wouldn’t say that, but it was fun.” She patted the horse on the rump. “Thanks, Satan.”

  John helped her down off the horse before swinging his own long legs down out of the saddle. Grace realized, as she looked around, that there was a horse about six feet to their left lying on her side. She was a pretty, tan thing with a dark brown mane. She was making a panting sound and looked like she was trying to stand, but couldn’t. Her coat was wet with sweat. Grace watched John take a leather pack off saddle and asked him, “What’s wrong with her?”

  “She’s trying to give birth. I’m guessing the foal is turned the wrong way. She’s been having a heap of trouble all day. Her last birth was easy. Easy is not a word a man should use to a woman to describe childbirth, is it?”

  Grace grinned. “I’m okay with it. I’m finished with all that. You might not want to say it to her though,” she said, indicating the horse.

  John laughed. “You should probably stay here with Satan. She’s pretty upset, I don’t want you getting kicked.”

  Grace nodded and watched as John gently approached the mare. John whispered something to the horse and made soft, calming noises as he got close. He stroked her mane with his hand as she bucked her middle and stretched her legs out in front of her. She was obviously in pain, but she seemed to know John was there to help her.

  He stayed to her back, just in case she had a pain and kicked out, running his hand along her flanks until he was at her rear. He whispered to her again as he lifted her top leg slowly. Grace flinched as she watched in both horror and fascination, as John stuck his hand inside of the mare and turned the foal around. The horse made an ear-piercing sound that could almost pass for a human scream. Then, fighting against John holding her top leg and kicking her bottom leg in and out, she finally expelled a wet foal. It was the grossest and most beautiful thing Grace had seen, all at the same time.

  John took a tool that looked like scissors out of the bag and cut the baby’s cord as its mother licked and warmed it. Once John had gotten the cord tied off, he took a wet towel out of the bag and cleaned his hand and arm. He gave the mother and her foal a wide berth as he came back to where Grace waited. The mare was still nervous, and John was horse smart enough to know she still might lash out with a swift, powerful kick of one of her muscular legs.

  “Will they be okay?” Grace asked him when he got close enough.

  John looked back at mother and baby. “I think so. She’s pretty sore now, but I’ll check on her in a while and make sure she gets up.”

  “That was a
mazing.”

  “Yeah, watching anything being born is bearing witness to a miracle.”

  “Yes,” Grace agreed. “But I meant you. I was impressed with how you handled her.”

  John brushed off the compliment. “Ah, I’ve been doing that stuff my whole life. It’s second nature by now.”

  “You grew up here, in Belt?” Grace asked him.

  “Yep, right here on this ranch. I don’t really know anything else.”

  “I grew up in a small town too,” Grace told him. “I didn’t realize how small until I moved to the city for college. I told myself then, I’d never go back.” She laughed. “I guess me here in a town with less than half the population of the one I grew up in is proof of the old saying never-say-never, huh?”

  “We’re all guilty of that one. If I had a dollar for all the things I said I’d never do in my life. Well, let’s just say I’d be retired on a beach somewhere instead of working the family ranch in Belt, Montana.”

  “Where is your family?” Grace asked him. “Your parents?”

  “They did retire to a beach, actually.” He grinned. “Redondo Beach. My sister and her family live there. They talked my parents into coming out for a month last summer. They’re still there. My mom fell in love with the place, and my dad thought that after spending her life here on this ranch with him, she deserved to get to decide where they lived for a while.”

  “That’s nice. How long have they been married?”

  John thought for a moment. “I guess it’ll be 42 years next May. My sister is 41, so yeah, 42 years.”

  “Wow,” Grace said. “That’s a long time.”

  John looked at his watch. “Speaking of time, I best be getting you back up to the house. Louise and the kids should be back by now.”

  They rode back up to the house in silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Grace was trying to imagine what her life would be like if Conrad had stuck around. Would she have kept taking him back for the next 42 years? She doubted it. She had been stunned when she’d found out he was cheating, but some form of shock had made her try to forgive him and save her family. After the shock had worn off, she’d gotten angry. She deserved better, and if Conrad hadn’t left, she would have. Eventually.

  As they rode up to the house, she could see her kids and John’s out by the stables with Luke. She heard Lucy asking her usual one hundred and one questions as they got close. To Luke’s credit, he was doing his best to answer each one. Macy was petting the horse Luke had been grooming, and Brock was jumping hay bales with Patty and John Jr. They looked happy, which made Grace happy, too.

  John stopped the horse and Luke helped Grace down. When the kids noticed it was her they ran up, all talking at once.

  “Can I ride him?” Macy was asking.

  “Did you get to drive?” Brock was saying, making her laugh, and Lucy was talking so fast, telling her about the carnival, that Grace could hardly understand her. She did surmise, however, that there had been quite a bit of cotton candy involved.

  She looked at Macy and said, “I don’t think you can ride this one, sweetie. Maybe, if you ask Mr. Luke or Mr. John some afternoon you could ride one of the kid’s horses.”

  “Absolutely,” John said, swinging off the horse.

  Macy reached up and touched Satan’s neck. “But this one’s so pretty.”

  “He is a pretty boy,” John agreed. “But he’s awfully temperamental. He was a wild horse when I got him. He threw off everyone who got on his back for the first three months he lived here. He was mad at everyone, he even kicked and bit the other horses at first.”

  “Wow,” Macy said, a look of wonder in her eyes. “How did you get him to let you ride him?”

  “Persistence,” John told her with a wink. “Never give up.”

  Grace was impressed with John’s easy way with kids. She guessed that since he was raising his own without their mother should have given her a clue that he was a kid person. She wondered how a mother could leave her kids, even with a good man like John Harwell.

  “Come on, guys,” Grace told them. “Let’s get going. Mr. Harwell and Luke have things they need to do.”

  They all made faces and grumbled, but they did as they were told. Grace sent them up to the house to tell Louise good-bye and thank you, and she thanked John herself.

  He walked with her part way to her car. “Maybe we could have dinner sometime? It’d be nice to have some adult conversation over a meal for a change,” he said shyly.

  Grace stopped walking and turned to look at him. “I don’t know how much you know about me, and what’s gone on in my life lately to get me to this point, but I just got out of a messy marriage by way of a messy divorce. I’m not sure I’m ready to date yet.”

  John smiled. “Then we’ll just call it dinner, not a date. It’s all in how you look at things, right?”

  Grace smiled too. “I’m sorry, just a little gun-shy I guess. Sure, dinner would be nice. I do have to eat.”

  “Good deal. I’ll let you know when I’m able to get away.”