Doctor Lucky Charms: A Holiday Romance (Kilts and Kisses)

by K. C. Crowne

  I flipped through the stapled papers, scanning the lines until they landed on a figure.

  “And that’s in Euros, too,” she said. “So, it’s a little more than that.”

  “This doesn’t make any sense. Why the hell would some development company be this interested in our grandma’s hundred-year-old house?”

  She narrowed her eyes and leaned toward me, as if she’d uncovered a diabolical conspiracy and wanted me to be in on it. “I know exactly what they want to do with it. They want to do the same thing with Grandma Mary’s house that they do with every old house these days – buy it, gut it, do some open-floor-plan remodel and either sell it to some tech bro or make it an Airbnb stop. Or worse, they just want to bulldoze it altogether and put up one of those horrible condo buildings you see everywhere that look like they’re made of stainless steel.”

  “We should’ve done an Airbnb thing,” I said. “Might’ve at least covered the cost of keeping the place up.”

  “Are you kidding? Can you imagine what Grandma Mary would think if we’d let strangers come in and out of that house. No way – as far as she was concerned, that house was our legacy, for us only. Not for some digital nomad tech bros or backpacking college kids to mess up.”

  “Well, now someone wants to buy it.”

  “Mom,” Charlie called, looking up from her coloring book. “I’m hungry.”

  “Shoot,” Jolene said. “I’m getting so worked up about this I forgot to give my own kid breakfast.” She stepped over to the bag and opened it as I went for a couple of plates. “Anyway, tell me what you think of the price.”

  I set some plates on the kitchen bar before picking up the packet again and flipping through to find the numbers. “This…it’s pretty low, actually. It’s a rural house, but real estate in Dublin’s been blowing up over the last few years.”

  Jolene glanced over her shoulder at me as she began taking bagels out of the bag, Charlie looking on eagerly.

  “See, that’s what I thought. So, I did my research and found out that they’re totally low-balling us. We should be getting at least fifty percent more. And that’s assuming we even want to sell the house, which we don’t.”

  “Well, why don’t we want to sell the house?”

  Jolene knitted her brow, as if confused.

  “Are you serious?”

  “Look, I know it means a lot to both of us. But we’re all the way in Colorado and the house is all the way in Ireland. We’re paying hundreds a month for upkeep on a place we’ll never get to visit more than once every few years. Hell, neither of us have even been there once in our adult lives!”

  Jolene put a smear of cream cheese on a bagel for Charlie while I poured her a glass of OJ. I could tell my words had made a certain amount of sense to my sister.

  “I mean, you’re not wrong. But I want us to at least check the place out, get the lay of the land, before we make any rash decisions. And if we do decide to sell -and I’m not saying I’m even considering it- I’d want to sell it to someone who’d actually keep it how it is instead of making it into something it’s not.”

  “What’re you saying?” I asked.

  She smiled slightly, Charlie happily munching on her bagel half.

  “Well, before I came here, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to suggest. But after you telling me about the incident you dealt with last night…I don’t know. Maybe this is a sign that you need to get out there, take a little break from work and all the other craziness you’re dealing with here in town.”

  “You mean go to Ireland?”

  She shrugged. “Sure! I mean, think about it – we’ve got a house that needs looking at. And you’ve got a very, very good reason to get out of Dodge for a little while and let this mess you put your foot in cool down. You ask me, it’s the perfect time for a trip like this.”

  I snorted, crossing my arms and shaking my head as I leaned against the counter.

  “You know, it’s kind of crazy. A year back I was going through some old pictures and found one of us with Grandma Mary at the house, you and me and her in front of that gorgeous dark wood front door, the grass so brilliant that it seemed to be glowing.”

  She smiled. “Those were wonderful times. I remember once Mom telling me that if she’d had the money, she would’ve sent us there every summer.”

  “Anyway, I was wondering what it would be like to actually move to that house, to live there and work and, I don’t know, become Irish. I mean, we’ve got it in our blood, right?”

  Jolene’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Any why wouldn’t you?”

  I waved my hand through the air, dismissing the subject.

  “You kidding? I’d have to sell the apartment and pack my things to move and then travel halfway across the world. And then, once I got there, I’d need to see about what it would take to practice law. Hell, it’s a whole other country, whole other legal system. I’d basically have to go to law school again.”

  “That’s not necessarily true. You could move into a different type of law, maybe handling contracts here and doing it all over Zoom or something. I’m sure there’s ways to make it work.”

  “Maybe. Not like I’m seriously considering something like that.”

  Jolene grinned. “I don’t know; sounds kinds of romantic, like something out of a movie – a big-city lawyer goes across the world and moves into her grandma’s rustic cottage. Maybe she learns to take it slow, smell the roses – or whatever flowers they have over there.” Her eyes lit up. “What if you even met some handsome Irishman, one with a perfect Dublin brogue…”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Not likely. It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date that I’d probably start drooling and tripping over my words the second a good-looking guy started talking to me.”

  “Well, the only way you’re going to be certain of that is to, you know, have a conversation with a good-looking man.”

  I looked away, the image of some verdant, Irish fields appearing in my mind’s eye, maybe a warm breeze, too.

  “But what about Thanksgiving?”

  “What about it?”

  “If I went, I’d be skipping it, you know? That’s strictly an American affair. And it’s quite possibly my favorite holiday – food, family, cozy sweaters. What more can you want?”

  “Oh, come on. I’m sure you can find a turkey somewhere in Ireland. And if it’s sweaters you’re looking for I’m pretty certain Ireland is the freaking sweater capital.”

  I shifted my weight from one foot to another, now seriously giving the idea some consideration. It wouldn’t be the easiest thing in the world to do. I’d have to talk to James and get my case load sorted out, and then I’d have to book a flight, then pack my things for a trip of indefinite length.

  But damn, it sure sounded nice to get out of the States and go on a little nostalgia trip.

  “You know what?” I asked. “I’ll do it. And the sooner, the better.”

  Chapter 3

  RONAN

  My twin brothers were ecstatic.

  And their moods were the total, one hundred percent opposite of mine.

  Aiden and Collin, my twin younger brothers, were eagerly shaking hands with Sidney Drake, the producer from LA and the trio of assistants who’d come with him to Ireland. They were all commotion and carrying on, and as I checked my phone with a resigned sigh, I could hear talk of hitting one of the local pubs nearby where we were downtown and grabbing a pint or two of the black stuff to celebrate.

  What were we celebrating? Why, that was simple – the end of my peace and quiet as I knew it. The contract had been sent in from the LA production office and signed, Sidney there to put the finishing touches on it.

  It was all about a reality show – one that myself and my brothers would be starring in. It was as if the moment I’d finished putting my signature on the contract, a spell had been lifted from me. It dawned on me the second I put down the pen how bleeding mad it was to agree to what I’d just agreed to.

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nbsp; Aiden, his red hair short and his build as tall and powerful as Collin’s and mine, cast a curious glance in my direction. He put his hand on Sidney’s shoulder and said something before coming over, his usual broad smile on his face, his green eyes brilliant from the light that poured in through the glass wall of the conference room.

  “Now, Ronan, brother of mine,” he said. “You’re looking all lured.” Aiden’s voice came out in the same melodic Dublin accent in which all three of us spoke.

  I scoffed and rolled my eyes. “Feck off, brother.”

  He put his hands on his hips, cocking his head to the side.

  “What’s the attitude about, Ro?” he asked. “We’re about to make the easiest money of our damn lives. And, not to mention, be about the most famous doctors the world has ever seen.”

  “You really think this a good idea?” I asked, sweeping my hand toward Sidney and Collin and the rest of the crew. “Letting these people into our lives for the next few months so they can shove cameras in our faces and get us to dance like monkeys for them on command?”

  Aiden cocked his head to the side, a knowing smile on his lips. “Now, I know you’re bright enough to where I don’t need to point out these manners of concern are issue that would’ve been better addressed before we signed the damn contracts.”

  He was right. Unless I wanted to storm across the conference table and rip the contracts to shreds there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. We were going to be reality TV stars, and that was that.

  “I know, I know. Just thinking how much of a mess this who thing’s going to be. Christ, brother – how did we even get to this spot? One minute we’re working in our clinic, the next we’re in a skyscraper downtown signing our lives away.”

  He laughed. “Always with the dramatics, Ronan.”

  I watched as Collin chatted with Sidney and the rest, his usual serious expression on his face. Though Collin and Aiden were twins, their similarities ended at their looks. Aiden was freewheeling, the kind of guy who loved attention. Not a surprise he was the one who started this whole process.

  Collin, on the other hand, was quieter, more thoughtful. No doubt he was speaking to Sidney to get all the fine details out, so he knew exactly what to expect, precisely what the upcoming weeks had in store for us. I watched as Sidney placed his hand on Collin’s shoulder as he gestured to me.

  “Looks like you’re up, Ro,” Aiden said with a grin.

  “Great,” I replied. “My favorite person wants to chat.”

  I watched as Aiden glanced over in the direction of one of the assistants, a lovely young woman in sharp business clothes with a head of blonde hair in a stylish bob. She smiled coyly as she saw that Aiden was headed over.

  “Same here,” he said. “My favorite person of the moment, that is.”

  He winked at me before clapping his hand down on my shoulder and starting off across the room. Moments later, he was in the middle of a conversation with the woman that was so flirty I felt a wee dirty even watching it.

  Whatever small smile might’ve been on my face vanished as soon as I caught sight of Sidney on his way over. He was all smiles, as usual, his massive white veneers seeming to take up half his face. He was tall and trim, forty-something with hair thinning around his temples. His suit looked as expensive as they came. Ever since the first night in town when he’d asked me where a guy like him could find some “expensive fun with the most gorgeous ladies in Ireland,” he’d been on my bad side.

  “There’s the man!” he said, looking me up and down as he offered his hand for a shake.

  “Hey, Sidney,” I said, wishing I were anywhere but there. “What’s the craic?”

  He shook his head like I’d done a trick. “’What’s the craic’,” he repeated. “Love that shit. I swear, it’s like everything you guys say has the potential to be the next ‘that’s hot’.”

  “That’s what?” I was confused.

  He grinned before turning to his assistants and gesturing for them to pack up their gear.

  “That’s hot,” he said as we all made our way out of the conference room and toward the elevator. “You know, the Paris Hilton line?”

  “Ah,” I said, recognizing Paris but still unclear about the line. I didn’t care enough to ask for clarification. “Never was one for reality shows.”

  Sidney laughed. “And that’s what makes you guys perfect. You’re normal guys, right? Well, as normal as three good-looking brothers who all work together in the same coastal Irish OB/GYN clinic can be, right?” He followed his words up with a quick swat on my back. “But man, I’m already seeing huge things for you guys on the horizon. Ever since I laid eyes on that Tik Tok…”

  He shook his head as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. I watched with horror as he turned in on and opened the Tik-Tok app.

  “We gotta watch it again,” he said. “To celebrate getting it all on paper, you know?”

  “That’s quite alright, Sidney,” I said. “I’ve seen the bleeding thing a million times al-”

  I didn’t get a chance to finish. The by-now extremely familiar Tik Tok started. The face of Brendan O’Malley, our just-out-of-university administrative assistant, and the guy who’d started the Tik Tok channel featuring videos taken around our clinic popped onto the screen.

  By that point, the group aside from Collin and I were gathered around the phone.

  “MFW my bosses are incredibly hot brothers,” spoke the text-to-speech voice of Tik Tok, the closeup on Brendan’s handsome face.

  What followed were a series of clips from around the office set to some song that I couldn’t make out – Cardi B? Lizzo? I’d never been one for pop culture. The video featured all of these reaction shots from James, me, and my brothers doing normal day-to-day business at the office followed by the camera flipping around for a wide-eyed reaction from Brendan. And, of course, there were plenty of zoom-ins on our backsides.

  Sidney and the staff were cutting up, but as I watched the video for the billionth time, I still couldn’t figure out what the draw was. When it was over, Sidney shook his head as if he’d witnessed magic that he couldn’t wrap his head around.

  “Got to say,” I said as the elevator went down. “Not sure what all the fuss is about. You think that what’s there is enough for a damn reality show?”

  “Wouldn’t have had you all sign a contract if I didn’t think so,” said Sidney. “And trust me – you guys have got what it takes.”

  The blonde assistant jumped in. “Look at it this way,” she started, her sunny disposition and eager voice marking her immediately as from California. “The three of you, all working together and being, well, the three of you – that’s your day-to-day, you know? It’s like someone with a billion dollars in the bank, after a time, wouldn’t even think about it anymore – it’d be their reality.”

  “OK,” I said, the doors opening to the large, bustling lobby of the building. “Go on.”

  She grinned and then did. “Three handsome-as-hell doctors, all with their different, unique personalities…that’s the kind of set-up people go crazy over. And I’m thinking that because you’re all used to it you don’t understand how amazing it really is.”

  When she was done, she winked at Aiden, who met her wink with one of her own, along with a waggle of his red eyebrows.

  “You’ve all got something incredible,” Sidney said. “And all you need to worry about is being yourself. If you three can do that, I’ll make us all a hell of a lot of money.”

  We stepped out onto the busy downtown Dublin street. The skyscraper we’d just left was one of the few modern buildings in the area, the narrow street packed with pubs and restaurants and small businesses, the buildings all hundreds of years old. A sleek, black luxury sedan was parked out front.

  “Man, look at this place!” Sidney remarked, sticking out his arms and nearly smacking a pair of pedestrians happening by. “It’s a modern-day metropolis, but it’s got that old-world charm you never see
in the states. Hell, I’d get some of these buildings are older than my freaking country!”

  He turned to us as he slipped on his sunglasses. “You know what people think of in the States when they think of Ireland?”

  “Lucky Charms and four-leaf clovers,” Aiden quipped with a grin. “Oh, and Colin Farrell.”

  “That’s right,” Sidney answered. “Stereotypical shit. But think of it like this – you three are going to be ambassadors for your country. By the time I’m done with you, when people think of Ireland, they’re not going to be thinking of Colin freaking Farrell, they’ll be thinking of the O’Neill Brothers.” He spread his hands out before him as he spoke, as if he were already imagining our names in big lights.

  He stepped aside and swept his hand toward the limo.

  “And to start things off now that we’re nice and official, how’s about a ride back to that picturesque town of yours…what’s it called? Shady Pines? Salty Beach?”

  “Sandy Cove,” I said, a sternness to my voice.

  “That’s right, that’s right,” he agreed. “Doesn’t sound all that Irish, really.”

  “Well, thing about that,” Aiden said with a grin. “You can blame the Brits for that particular nomenclature. Guess they figured the old name wasn’t good enough for their royal arses.”

  His words got some smiles, but the blonde full-on busted up at his comment.

  Sidney stepped to the car and opened the door, revealing a surprisingly large back area with two rows of seats facing each other.

  “We’ll be in touch soon, guys,” he said with smile that put his expensive, white veneers on full display. “And I can’t wait to get started.”

  Funny that – I couldn’t wait to get in the car and get back home.

  I slid in and Collin followed. Before Aiden joined us, he smoothly sidled past the group, placed his hand on the hip of the blonde assistant, then guided her away from Sidney and the rest. He leaned in and whispered into her ear, her blue eyes lighting up with excitement at whatever oh-so-sweet nothings he was planting in her head.