The Hidden Rose

by Jayne Amanda Maynes

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~

  I hated so much of the stuff I had in my quarters. And didn't know what to do with most of it. I started just throwing things out. I wanted my life uncluttered and it seemed the more I tried to simplify the more cluttered everything became.

  “I take it you had a bad day?” Chris said sticking his head in my door.

  “A bad day? Not at all. A bad day would be an improvement. If you came by to ask for your men back I told both of them the choice was theirs, so you'll need to talk to them,” I said.

  “I already have. They both said they want to fill in on your squad until you've made a final decision. Sam they are good men, and I'm not surprised you picked them for that mission since you were short two men,” he said.

  “Tell me why Chris. Why the hell did you go along with that damned setup back home? You set those charges and they never would have gone off would they. So why cause the miss in the number two engine?” I asked.

  “I wasn't given a lot of choice Sam. I got the call the night your family came in the restaurant for dinner. They said it was simply to keep you on the ground until General Long got there,” he said.

  “Chris I hate pretending, I just want to be myself. I hate not being able to tell the truth,” I said.

  “I don't think I understand,” he said.

  “Grandmother told me you're the man who will complete me. I have no idea what that means, but all I could think of was when we met. I want to be me, I want my men to call me ma'am not sir. I want you to wrap your arms around me and hold me so I know everything will be alright. I want to tell Min Li and Chow Lin that the rest of their family is safe, that I was able to get them out of the house before the house was blown up. I just want to not have to solve everyones problems anymore, I'm tired,” I said.

  “Do you remember what I said the last time I saw you as Samantha? I realize you have to be who you are now, I don't understand the reason, hell, I'm not sure I even want to know the reason, but the words I told you are as true now as they were that day. Irene is pregnant, but I know she isn't the babies mother, the only real mother my children will ever have is Samantha Waters. Who when the time is right will be willing to become Samantha Jacobs,” he said.

  “Do you still have that uniform Jason wanted you to bring for me?” I asked.

  “If you promise to only wear it for me,” he said.

  “Is it a dress uniform or field uniform? If it's a dress uniform I'll make that promise, otherwise I make no promises,” I said.

  “You know which it is. Sam I can't imagine how you could wear a skirt in the field but it is what's considered a field uniform,” he said.

  “Dare I ask what rank it has on it?” I asked.

  “You would out rank me wearing it. He said there should be no question who the ranking officer is in the situations he hoped you would wear it. He even dummied up some orders to make everything look legit,” he said.

  “He wants to talk to me, I was thinking of doing so wearing that uniform. Chris I need to be the real me for a while. I already talked to Mac and told him how much I hate being called sir,” I said.

  “You do realize that wearing that uniform in public will raise questions you may not be ready for,” he said.

  “It won't raise question I'm not ready for, but it might raise questions for Jason and others. Chris can you accept me as Samantha for a while? Would it cause problems for you?” I asked.

  “Nothing I can't handle ma'am,” he said smiling.

  “You know you're a smart-ass. I guess that's part of what I love so much about you. You do realize that we can't affirm our love until I can be me all the time. No more going back to being the man the world thinks I'm supposed to be,” I said.

  “I'll let you get changed and see you in the briefing room. Sam if you need those men I do understand and have others I can bring in to take their place,” he said.

  “Can I get a kiss before you go? I'll even let you have a small nibble, if you promise not to leave me as weak as you did last time I let you bite my neck,” I said.

  He gave me a little peck and hurried out of the room to allow me to get changed. I looked at the uniform laying there and smiled knowing Chris had bought it and even though he kissed me like he was afraid to let anyone see if he didn't love me he wouldn't have even done that much.

  I didn't want a field uniform for this meeting, mostly because it wasn't as feminine as I liked, but it was currently the only female uniform I had. I pulled on the skirt and blouse and felt everything change as my hips filled out the skirt making it almost to snug. I started buttoning the blouse and felt it getting snug on my bust with each button I did up. I looked at the shoes and smiled knowing just how much my feet would scream at me after a very short time wearing them. I looked in the mirror and wished I had some make-up, something, anything I could use to draw attention to my eyes and lips rather than the obvious bust I had along with the hips. I started looking around and spotted a charcoal pencil I had that was soft enough it should work for an eye liner.

  “You look more like the Lotus Blossom now,” Min Li said.

  “I'm not a vampire Min Li. The Lotus Blossom is a vampire, so grandmother is right I am only the daughter of the Lotus,” I said.

  “Grandmother said you need help that you cannot see the magic yet and need someone to help you find it,” she said.

  “I need help with my hair and make-up, more then anything else at the moment,” I said.

  “You will wear this uniform?” she asked.

  “It's the only one I have right now. I wish I had one that is more of a dress uniform, but I'll manage with what I have here,” I said.

  I looked in the mirror again and thought of how much this uniform was wrong for the meeting I had, that if I didn't get a move on I would be late for. I dreamed of how my hair should be, my nails regulation but nicely manicured. A touch of make-up to draw the attention to my eyes and lips. A dress uniform with my correct rank and ribbons, shoes that fit properly that wouldn't cut into my feet and make them hurt after just a few minutes of wear.

  “Grandmother is right you are very powerful. I do not understand why you do not let Major Jacobs complete you so you can be the Lotus Blossom,” Min Li said.

  “Even if he did Min Li I still wouldn't be the Lotus Blossom, not until I have been affirmed The White Rose,” I said.

  I needed to get going. I was sure Jason wasn't going to be happy seeing me in a female dress uniform wearing my real rank rather than the rank he thought I should wear as The White Rose, the thing was I wasn't The White Rose and wouldn't be for some time yet.

  I noticed all the men on the base stop to watch me as I strolled over to the command center. I didn't look around there was no need with the way some of the men made fools of themselves. It was like a tornado had blown through the camp with the destruction they were reeking staring at me rather than paying attention to what they were doing.

  “I knew you would be beautiful ma'am,” Mac said coming up alongside me.

  “I'm even more dangerous this way Mac. Besides, if you had thoughts you shouldn't Major Jacobs might not like it, he is a little jealous,” I said.

  I gave Mac a kiss on the cheek and walked the rest of the distance with him taking up one side and Curtis taking the other.

  “Ma'am, I...” Curtis started.

  “Curtis I'm still the same person only for now I'm showing the world the real me,” I said.

  “I just have trouble getting words out with a beautiful woman ma'am,” he said.

  “I'm willing to help you with that, so you have a little more confidence in the future,” I said.

  I gave both of them a quick hug and walked inside.

  As I walked in I saw every man there stand and look at me as though none of them had a clue who I was. I spotted an empty chair next to Chris and took my time getting to it.

  “I'm sorry ma'am, but this meeting is for the commanders of this base,” Chuck said.

  I smiled at Colonel W
right and nodded. “I know it is Colonel Wright, that's why I'm here. I do happen to be in command of one of the recon units. One that saved your ass if I'm not mistaken,” I said.

  He looked at my name tag and blushed. “I... you look a lot different then you did the last time I saw you Captain,” he said.

  Jason stood at the chalk board and smiled until he looked at the rank I had on my shoulders.

  “Gentlemen, Captain Waters, I'm glad you could all make it here. For any of you who aren't aware Captain Waters is the commander of White Rose recon. While the name sounds like they should be out gathering information, I can assure you that is not the main duties of Captain Waters unit. White Rose recon has been called on multiple times to assist in the extraction of troops from behind enemy lines, something they are very good at, as some here can attest,” Jason said.

  Everyone who hadn't worked with me or my unit raised objections about the fact I was most definitely female. No sooner did those who objected make their objections and someone who knew me would give a reason their objection had no merit. In the end Chris and Chuck won the day, at least in my opinion, in that they both said they would trust me and my unit if they ever got in a jam and needed help.

  “Major Chestnut would you be willing to pit your company against the skills of Captain Waters and her unit in a war games scenario?” General Talbot asked when Major Chestnut continued his protest about me being a woman and should have no place in a front line division.

  “I'd be willing to match my company against any other company under your command sir,” Major Chestnut said.

  “That wasn't what I asked Major. Captain Waters unit is due some time state side and I'm sure I could arrange for your company to go head-to-head against her unit, if you think they're up to the task,” Jason said.

  “Sir with all respect I doubt there is a company here with a record like that of Rose company. As good as I know my company is sir I wouldn't think of trying to match battle skills with that of Captain Waters,” Chris said.

  “I'm glad to hear that Major Jacobs, but it wasn't you and Rose company I was asking about, It was Major Chestnut and his Eagle company. By the way Major Chestnut, Major Jacobs company has never lost a war games, but then only two of the people in Rose company have ever graduated special forces training with a victory on the final test, and no Major Jacobs isn't one of them,” Jason said.

  “Sir you have to have a win to qualify special forces commander,” Major Chestnut said.

  “I guess I didn't phrase that quite right. A victory without losing a single man in their unit,” Jason corrected.

  “That's impossible sir, from what I understand it has only ever been accomplished once,” Major Chestnut said.

  “Precisely Major, it has only ever been accomplished once, and it was Captain Waters who accomplished it. So I ask again Major are you willing to pit your skills and company against the skills of Captain Waters and her White Rose unit? Before you answer I want the commander of the unit that faced Captain Waters in that final test to stand,” Jason said.

  Chuck stood up and I looked at him as though seeing him for the first time.

  “Major, the company I have here is the same company I had when Captain Waters graduated special forces training. I went up against her command abilities and lost. I'm sure you heard about the last mission my company just returned from and the difficulty we ran into. It was Captain Waters who saved our asses out there. Her and her men in just over one day met up with my company and showed us a way out. The only men we lost in that mission, were lost before Captain Waters and her men arrived to help us out. There are three civilians on this base alive today because of the dedication of Captain Waters, as well. If you think for a minute you can go up against her, and her twelve man unit, with a single company you're out of your mind, it can't be done,” Chuck said.

  “You make it sound like Major Jacobs received the credit for what Captain Waters did about six months ago,” Major Chestnut said.

  “Captain Waters does deserve the credit for that mission. The tactics were hers, but getting the rescued company to the rendezvous left her unable to continue due to psychical exhaustion. I would dare say there isn't one of us here right now that could have held up as long as Captain Waters did, and still draw up a battle tactic that would turn six divisions near as effectively,” Chris said.

  Major Chestnut didn't seem in the least impressed, or swayed by any of the arguments for me being allowed to command my recon unit. I feared before this was over he would do the one thing that would insure I was either taken off the front lines, or if the paper work hadn't changed when I did get me kicked out of the Air Force all together.

  “Major I don't know your tactical abilities and testing my unit which is already tired from the last mission we were on against your company whether they are rested, or not, seems rather pointless. I do however think I know a way of determining my fitness to serve as a commander in a front line unit, that doesn't involve risking injury to anyone and will still show my abilities vs your abilities in a command situation,” I said.

  “Really Captain you really think your abilities as a commanding officer are superior to mine?” Major Chestnut asked.

  “General with all respect. I ask that for one month Major Chestnut be allowed to take command of my White Rose unit, and I be given command of Major Chestnuts Eagle company. I assure you Major my men are well disciplined and know I would be very displeased if they did anything to jeopardize this test in any way. After one month the other commanders here can judge which of us has the better ready team to face the enemy,” I said.

  “You're saying Captain that your men would be willing to allow me to command them in a mock battle with you commanding my men, men I can't promise will be willing to accept your orders,” Major Chestnut said.

  “I'll go even farther, make it six months and each of you will command in a real combat situation. Major the ball is in your court,” Jason said.

  “Sir with all respect I'd hate to lose any of my men should something go wrong,” I protested.

  “I understand that Captain. Major?” Jason said.

  “We each do a skirmish of two days out a week in enemy territory and two days back,” Major Chestnut said.

  “Captain?” Jason asked.

  “The skirmish is to take place in six months? I have no problem with that sir I have no doubt my men can handle something like that, if Major Chestnut keeps in mind it is a twelve man team. If the men have to pack for themselves and him they might not be able to carry everything they'll need to survive if something should happen,” I said.

  “I always pack my own weight Captain,” Major Chestnut protested.

  “Then for the next six months I'm in command of Eagle company and you command White Rose recon unit?” I asked.

  “If your men are half as good as everyone here seems to think they are and they're willing to accept me as their commanding officer, I have no problem with this test of your fitness to command a front line unit Captain,” Major Chestnut said.

  I looked at Jason and the others in the room. Each of them knowing what would happen at the start of the six month test period.

  “I'll let my men know Major, and would hope you would be willing to do the same with your men,” I said.

  I knew he would let his men know he expected them to give me a bad time, making it as difficult for me as they could.

  “Mac I need you to keep the men in line. I expect everyone to give Major Chestnut their best at all times, and please don't give him the shit you do me, I don't think he'd take it the way I do,” I said.

  “We'll do our best ma'am. Ma'am can I ask what this is all about?” Mac asked.

  “It is about seeing if I'm fit to command a front line unit,” I said.

  “Ma'am there isn't a man in this unit and few in all the companies in this division who would question your abilities as a commander,” Mac said.

  “Mac just promise me you'll give Major Chestnut your best,
anything less from anyone, and in six months you'll be out of my unit having lost my trust. This unit will always be mine, and I expect the best from the men in it,” I said.

  “Your men seem to think you're the best Captain. It seems they don't mind that you're a woman,” Major Chestnut said.

  “Major those men have saved my life many times over, and there is little I wouldn't do for any of them. They learned to trust me to make decisions, because I was willing to learn their strengths and use those strengths. If you try commanding them with an iron fist you'll find they aren't any better than any other unit out there, let them do what they do best and there aren't any better troops in the world,” I said.

  “You have your way of commanding Captain and I have mine. In six months we'll see whose way is better,” Major Chestnut said.

  He introduced me to his men telling them that for the next six months I would be their commanding officer. I looked at each man and made a mental note about the qualities they had. What they liked and disliked. These men were a rag tag group that needed the discipline of a commander like Major Chestnut, at least in their current state. I intended to change that over the next six months and have them working together in the same manner my men worked.

  “Ma'am I've heard talk that you're the best,” one of the men said.

  “I've heard that to Lieutenant, whether or not it's true is dependent on the men in my command. If I can't count on the men to do their job it really doesn't matter how good I am, some of the men are likely to get killed,” I said.

  “I know Major Chestnut wouldn't like that ma'am,” he said.

  “I hope no one likes that Lieutenant,” I replied.

  The first week the men of Eagle company thought they could walk on me and quickly found that I did know how to use discipline. They also learned that I never asked anything from them I wasn't willing to do personally.

  “Gentlemen I appreciate how much fun you seem to be having. I have just one question for you. In five months we'll be going out into enemy territory and spending a week. My question is how many of you want to make it back here at the end of that week? So you understand the full importance of that question I suggest you talk to some of the men from other companies and find out how well the enemy likes me in comparison to others from this base. If you're all willing to give me your best I can insure everyone of you will come back in one piece, anything less than your best and you could get every man in this company killed should the enemy find out I'm commanding while out there,” I said.

  Some of the men seemed to think I was kidding about how much the enemy wanted me, but I figured if they were willing to talk with men from other units they would soon find out. Eagle company was new to the base though it had been a unit for almost a year before being assigned to Jason to fill in for Alpha company after the last commander was killed and the company disbanded.

  The second week was better as the men did start talking to other companies and finding out the kind of respect I had on base. Week after week I drilled them finding the strengths of each man and how to put it to the best possible use. I kept tabs on my unit, with Mac and Curtis keeping me up to date on everything Major Chestnut was doing. By the time of the field trials I worried for my men and found myself casting the spells of protection I felt they needed to come back to me in one piece. It wasn't that my men didn't know their jobs, they had proven time after time they did know them, but Major Chestnut expected them to do things differently in ways that didn't fit with the men. I knew they were giving their best under the circumstances, but knew if they ran into enemy forces they were going to be in for a lot of trouble unless they reverted back to what they did for me, and Major Chestnut be damned.

  I watched them head out and knew their only chance was the spell I had done and the hope they didn't run into any enemy forces that more than doubled them in size.

  “You look worried Sam,” Chris said.

  “I am Chris. If they run into anything like they have with me in command I might not see any of them again,” I said.

  “You do know those protection spells you've done are powerful magic,” he said.

  “Powerful yes. Powerful enough, I don't know. He has those men doing things so different from what they know I'm worried he just might get them killed,” I said.

  “We'll see in a week. Sooner if they get in trouble. Sam I've been put on standby just in case,” Chris said.

  “What about when it's my turn to take Eagle company out? Chris if they get in trouble I want to be there for them. Those men are my responsibility they're everyone of them like a brother to me,” I said.

  “Word is you have Eagle company equal to Rose company,” he said.

  “I don't know if I'd go that far,” I said.

  Eight days after my men left the call came in. Major Chestnut was wounded and they were pinned down, with no apparent avenue of escape.

  “Sam every indication we see says the enemy think it's you out there. The only reason those men aren't all dead is everything they've done so far is by the book, that's got the enemy wondering since you've never done anything by the book,” Jason said.

  “You've got to be joking me Jason. That son-of-a-bitch has done everything by the book? Doesn't he know the enemy has read the book? You said he's wounded. How badly?” I asked.

  “Bad enough if you went in you'd be in command. Sam those men are the ones you would normally be going in with,” Jason said.

  I looked over the map and made note of enemy placements and where my men were pinned down.

  “Jason, how well do you trust me?” I asked.

  “You pull this off and Eagle company is yours,” he said.

  “Send a coded message with a code you know the enemy has broken recently telling them I'm on the way with Eagle company, Jason I need Mac in command until I get there, if we don't get Major Chestnut out of command those men are likely to be dead before I can get there,” I said.

  I headed for the Eagle company barracks and met up with the Lieutenant who would be my acting second in command.

  “Lieutenant have the men ready to move out in one hour, sooner if possible. Make sure they know I want crossbows at the ready and everyman is to bring double quivers of bolts. We'll be traveling fast and I want Collins and Cooper on point,” I ordered.

  “I didn't think we were scheduled to go out until White Rose got back ma'am,” he said.

  “I gave an order Lieutenant, if that order wasn't explicit enough step aside and I'll find someone else to be my second in command,” I said.

  I didn't wait around for him to acknowledge what I said, I needed to get my things together and figure out how we were going to get to my men. If I pulled this off Eagle company would be mine. I was still only a Captain and to be a commander of a company required I be at least a Major. It wasn't going to happen regardless of whether I got my men out of there or not. It would take an act of the Joint Chiefs for me to get my cluster and the chances of that happening was remote at best.

  I headed to the barracks to see how everyone was going about getting ready to move out and found the Lieutenant sweet talking the men as though I had given a suggestion not an order.

  “Gentlemen this is not a drill I want everyone on the field in twenty minutes in full gear with double issue of bolts for your crossbows. Anyone not there will be left behind and likely transferred out of special forces when we get back,” I said.

  I looked over at Lieutenant Harris and indicated I wanted to talk outside.

  “Ma'am?” he asked when we were outside.

  “Lieutenant don't bother getting your gear ready you won't be going with. While we're gone I want you to report to Major Jacobs with this message. If you try reading this message he will know and he is expecting you so I wouldn't dally if I were you,” I said.

  He took the note I held out which if he did try reading it would look like a blank piece of paper and headed off toward Rose company command center.