Mom, I'm Gay

by Rebecca Flannery

Chapter 8

  Bob was dressed in a white polo shirt tucked into khakis, looking very casual, but Marshall was more formal with a navy blazer, dark khakis and a button-down collar striped shirt, with no tie. The shirt had navy, pale pink and khaki stripes, and was open at the collar. With his dark skin and good looks, I realized Marshall looked like a model for male fashions.

  Before I had a chance to utter one word, Bob practically shouted, “Mara! This yard is fabulous!” He was obviously impressed, and Marshall was no longer standing, rather he was bending down inspecting one of the hostas that bordered my front walk, which was shaded much of the time because of the large trees in the front yard.

  “I’ve never seen this variety before,” he remarked, but I didn’t know if he was speaking to Bob or me. For a moment I felt awkward because none of us had greeted each other.

  “It’s called variegated splendor, or the formal name is Antioch,” I told him, and then he finally stood up to say hello.

  “Would you like to come in? Or we can walk around the yard a bit,” I suggested.

  They both wanted to see the yard, and I was surprised that condo dwellers were so knowledgeable about the various plantings I had. Together, they ooed and ahhed over my flowers and bushes. They loved the shady front and sunny backyard, because I was able to grow so many different kinds of plants. They explained that they had a large patio with their condominium and did as much container gardening as they could in the limited space they had. This yard was like a dream for them.

  “This is one of the reasons we want to buy a house,” Marshall told me as we headed back to the front yard. “We both love working with plants – actually, I love it more than Bob, but he enjoys the look of all the plants – and we can’t do enough with the condo. Something about working with the soil heals the soul.” I certainly agreed with that, but didn’t say anything, just nodded in agreement.

  Having finished walking around the entire yard, we went back in through the front door. The dining room is just off the foyer and they immediately went in and began admiring my grandmother’s set, as well as commenting on how good dinner smelled. Bob observed the five place settings, and asked, “I know you told us you wanted us to meet your son, but who’s the mystery guest?” He gestured toward the table.

  I hesitated, and finally answered him. “Actually, my son isn’t going to be joining us tonight. An old friend from college has come to visit me unexpectedly…”

  “And that would be me,” Patrick came down the stairs and was dressed in the most outrageous outfit I had ever seen him in, except perhaps in one of his plays. Patrick usually dressed on the conservative side, but tonight the shirt he wore was garish, it was so colorful – it was neither paisley nor tie-dyed, but something in between, and it had the brightest colors I had ever seen him wear - yellow, orange and red, with a splash of turquoise. It buttoned down the front and he hadn’t buttoned the top three bottoms, showing off his hairless chest, along with a rather large gold chain. He had on perfectly pressed white linen pants and shoes that were white leather with several buckles on them. I didn’t know he even owned clothes like those he was wearing, and I made a mental note to ask him about it later. He entered the room with such flair that that I swear the drapes swished as he sashayed across the room. He stuck out his hand to greet first Bob, then Marshall, who both remained silent until he said first to Bob, then to Marshall, “Hi, I’m Patrick. It’s a real pleasure to meet you….” And they each told him their name in turn. Patrick was making it clear that he was gay…no need for gaydar in this room! There was a moment of complete quiet, when my mind raced, wondering if they even believed me that Patrick was here unexpectedly, but at that moment, the doorbell rang again, and there stood Lily. I froze for a moment when I opened the door, because from my best guess, she was wearing the dress she had ‘modeled’ for Jonathan. She proceeded to greet me way too warmly, given what had happened between her and Jonathan, and my heart sunk as I realized the night might turn into a huge disaster…

  I made the introductions and brought everyone into the living room, which was on the other side of the foyer. Lily plopped down next to me, closer than she should have. Patrick offered wine, and they all accepted. He insisted he would get it and that I should stay with my guests. Bob and Marshall started making small talk, commenting on my antiques, and Lily, who, to my knowledge, had actually never sat in the living room until that very moment, tried to explain where I had gotten the antique end table they were admiring.

  “Oh, yes, Mara has had that for ever,” Lily said, not really knowing that it was purchased shortly after Dick and I had moved into the house. “She found it -” she hesitated and waited for me to finish the sentence for her. I willingly told them where I found it and how long ago, but I was very distracted trying to figure out exactly why Lily was putting on the air that she was more familiar with me and my home than she really was. Patrick brought the wine and the dish of hors d’oevres I had made. They weren’t anything very fancy, just stuffed mushrooms and bruschetta.

  “Mara must be trying to impress you guys,” he said to them with a wink as he offered them a napkin. “I’ve known her for twenty-five years and she’s never made any of this stuff for me!” That wasn’t exactly true, since I had served him the exact same thing the first time he came to our home after Dick and I were married. I guess he had forgotten, because I really didn’t make appetizers very often at all.

  Lily continued to make it sound like she knew a lot more about me than she did. She said things like, “Patrick, it seems like forever since you’ve been here to visit. When was the last time?” when in fact, she hadn’t even known Patrick existed until I had called her to invite her for dinner a few hours earlier. She also kept touching me, and continued sitting extra close… I didn’t know why she was doing that, and Patrick knew it was a ruse but did nothing to stop it. I wondered if Bob and Marshall were falling for it.

  We struggled through the hors d’oevres without any real problems, but the conversation wasn’t flowing very well. I excused myself so I could begin putting the food on the table, but they all got up at the same time, asking me to let them help. That caused a comfortable chuckle from everyone, and I gave each one a job to get the dinner on the table. All the while, Patrick kept refilling the wine glasses. I wasn’t feeling the wine yet, but I hoped I could get through dinner without getting sloppy. After all, I did want to look professional in front of my clients…even though I had never invited any to my home before. This was the first time I had sought clients as friends, and if the evening continued like this, my quest was going to be unsuccessful.

  As we seated ourselves, Patrick sat at the head of the table, and Lily rushed to sit beside me, leaving Marshall and Bob across from us.

  “This looks great, Mara,” she said giving my arm a little rub with her well-manicured hand. Suddenly, I thought I figured out what she was trying to do…

  We began passing around the food, with a few positive comments from Bob and Marshall about how good it smelled and looked. As we were filling our plates, she decided to strike up a little conversation. “You two have been together how long?” she asked as she look across at the two of them.

  They answered her, but it wasn’t with the same enthusiasm they had used when I first met them. Next, she turned to Patrick, “And how about you, tell me about the hunk of man in your life at the moment.”

  Patrick didn’t quite choke on his mouthful of spaghetti, but I know he was not pleased with the question. He tersely told her he was “in between” relationships, which I knew was a lie, but I wasn’t ready for the next thing Lily said coming before she said it. She reached over and pecked me on the cheek, and said, “Mara and I have been together for -”

  At that comment, I cut her off. “Stop this now, Lily!” I glared at her and she shrunk ever so slightly. She looked at me with innocent eyes. I could not believe the words that came out of her mouth.

  “
I thought you wanted this to be an all-gay night, so if you and I are a couple, everyone will be comfortable, right?”

  “An all gay night!” Bob repeated the words and pushed back his chair, as though he was about to stand up, but I noticed Marshall was trying not to giggle. Patrick looked right at Lily and said, “Sweetheart, if you are a lesbian, then I am straight. And I most definitely am not straight!”

  There was an awkward moment of silence, until Marshall allowed his stifled giggle to escape, rather loudly. That deep laugh resonated in the room, and that caused Patrick to join in. The next thing I knew, Bob, Marshall and Patrick were all laughing, but Lily just looked confused. And I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

  Finally, Lily, who Patrick made sure had her share of wine and then some, blurted out, “When you told me that the rest of your dinner guests happened to all be gay men, and I should act appropriately, I thought that’s what you meant, Mara!” She went on, “I really was trying to do what you wanted me to, because Lord knows I’m lucky that you’re even talking to me after what I pulled with poor Jonathan…” She stopped talking for a moment.

  “Jonathan,” said Bob, “isn’t that your son, Mara?” He hesitated briefly before continuing. “I have to tell you, so far, this evening has been quite strange! You never have told us why he wasn’t joining us for dinner tonight, and when you invited us, I’m sure I remember that you mentioned you wanted us to meet him.”

  I looked at Bob, then Marshall, but I couldn’t think of a thing to say. I felt that anything I said at that moment might just make things more of a mess, and I wasn’t quite ready to give up hope that this evening would be the success I really wanted it to be.

  “Oh, I’m the reason he’s not here,” Lily tried to explain. “After what I did to that boy, he’ll never agree to be in the same room as me again.” She was being as honest as I’d ever seen her. All pretenses were dropped, and she was begging them to ask her to expound. They were clearly interested.

  I really had wanted to tell Bob and Marshall about Jonathan at just the right moment during dinner, but it was clear that there weren’t going to be any “right moments’ tonight. Perhaps that was when I began to comprehend that there aren’t any right (or wrong) moments to discuss the subject. So I began to try to explain to them.

  “Well, Lily’s right about Jonathan not wanting to be around her – and for a very good reason.” I gave her as mean a look as I could muster, which wasn’t too successful, because Patrick smiled ever so slightly as I did it. I continued, “Let’s have another glass of wine and so will I, and I’ll tell you about it.” So as Patrick poured all of us more wine, I continued, “First, Lily is only an acquaintance of mine, not a close friend, and certainly not my partner! She’s just recently done something awful to my son. But Patrick here made me realize I had to find a way to get Jonathan out of this evening, and inviting Lily provided that. At this point, you probably think I’m out of my mind, and I do, too!” I took a breath, and continued, “The fact of the matter is, if Jonathan had joined us for dinner, there would have been four gay men here tonight.”

  “And two heterosexual women,” Lily added, trying to help me again. She was the only one who snickered at her comment, though. The room was totally silent.

  Marshall pursed his lips and said nothing, but Bob again raised his eyebrow ever so slightly as if to ask a question, and ignoring anything else I had said, he looked very seriously at Lily and asked, “What did you do to him, Lily? Why doesn’t he want to see you?”

  There was a pause before Lily began to speak, but finally, she took a deep breath and said, “I think I’ve drunk enough wine to tell you this, even though I’ve just met you. But first, Mara, please, please forgive me.” She looked directly at me, but I didn’t have an answer for her, so she went on. “Maybe one of you,” she looked at each man, “has had an experience similar to the one Jonathan had with me…I’m divorced, you know, well, no, you don’t know that, do you? Even though my ex-husband was…I guess I’ll get to that another time. I, um, I have a thing for young lean bodies, and I came over here last week, knowing full well that Mara wouldn’t be home. I thought I might have a little fun with Jonathan, but all I managed to do was force him to come out. I’m not all that promiscuous, but sometimes, I hit on the younger set, never under eighteen of course, and believe me, they are always willing. But this was different. The more Jonathan rejected me, the more I felt I had to have him, even after he told me he was gay. It was horrible of me and worse than horrible for him, I know, but I just thought…”

  Patrick hadn’t said anything at all for a while now, but he broke in, “You just thought if he had a real woman, you could straighten him out? Ah, yes, I’ve had that experience more than once in my life. It doesn’t work that way, Lily.”

  Bob cleared his throat and spoke. His tone was rather flat. “This is the most unusual dinner party I’ve ever been invited to! I don’t know whether to be insulted or flattered, but from what I know of you so far, Mara, you didn’t do this to insult anyone. And you, Lily, what is it about women like you, that you want to change gay men into straight ones? That just isn’t an option, any more than you and Mara really being a lesbian couple is real. Do you think anyone could make you want another woman?” He looked at Lily first, and then at me. We both shook our heads, no. “That is exactly my point! And no one could make a gay man want a woman. Period. Even when the woman looks like you, Lily.”

  The room was silent for a moment, and Patrick finally spoke up. “I am so glad that Jonathan is not here for this conversation. I just don’t think an eighteen year old would have enjoyed it one bit!”

  “I was sure he would leave the house when he heard I would be here,” Lily said seriously. “But just in case that didn’t happen, I dared to wear the dress I modeled for him. One look at it and he would have been out the door, if he hadn’t left before I arrived. I know it now! But I guess what you’re telling me is none of you men wouldn’t be interested in seeing the string bikini that came with it, either. I tried that with Jonathan, but it didn’t work.”

  I couldn’t believe the gall she had, to wear same dress to my house. I wanted to be angry with her, but I didn’t think she was being serious. Slowly, I was beginning to understand a little more about her. There was definitely more to Lily than I thought. Perhaps she wasn’t so bad…just horny, needy, and confused.

  “If you’re serious,” Patrick answered her, “then you’re right…don’t model for us!”

  “I didn’t wear the bikini under it this time!” Lily said seriously.

  No one said a word, but Bob made a face and shook his head slightly, and Marshall didn’t react to what she was saying at all. He began looking around the room, and asked if he could see more of the house. I knew he wanted to find a way out of the conversation, and I wasn’t exactly comfortable with it, either. Patrick poured more wine, and attempted to have a serious conversation with Lily, telling her it was actually his idea to invite her to dinner to provide an out for Jon. Bob softened up at that point, and I don’t know whether it was the topic or the wine, but he, Patrick, and Lily seemed content to continue their conversation, which was moving away from being hostile towards a meaningful exchange. Lily said she wanted to tell them about her husband, and they said they were ready to hear another one of her stories, but they also wanted to talk to her about her penchant for young lean bodies. Almost simultaneously, both told her how offensive and harmful that was. That comment made Marshall even more uncomfortable, and it was at that point I stood up and offered to take him on a little tour to see the rest of the house, to which he agreed immediately. The other three were so engrossed in their conversation, I’m not sure they realized we left the table.