Illuminate: Upper YA Paranormal Romance

by Sarah Addison-Fox

  I didn’t stand a chance.

  With her chest beginning to ache with hurt, and with too many thoughts all vying for attention, she petitioned the light to shut them out. She needed to be careful not to become distracted the way Lucius wanted. They all did.

  If Lucius could alert those under his control inside, and there was no reason to think he couldn’t, they would be in grave danger.

  The worst thing would be to fall apart again due to petty jealousy, or hurts that Tarquin had no control over. Just get Lucius back to the council. One thing at a time.

  Her mouth opened to ask them if they should go around rather than risk it, but the words froze as a warning tingled at her shoulders.

  Before she could stop him, Lucius spoke, his voice eerily calm. “Don’t you find it odd that you can never recall your parents, Skylar?” No! Not now.

  Merrin sucked a breath in through her teeth as Skylar turned to look at Lucius. His voice was tight as he grabbed Lucius by the scruff of the neck. “What do you know about my parents?”

  Lucius only chuckled. “I know everything the Chief and the council deliberately kept from you.”

  Tarquin jaw clenched as Skylar’s shook Lucius, his cheeks flaring with anger. “Tell me.”

  Lucius lifted an eyebrow as though unaffected by the rage building on Skylar’s usually controlled face. “You are why the Chief banished me and forced me to give up my place on the council.”

  Her veins flooded with ice as she sought to stop Lucius before he did any more damage, Merrin risked stepping to Skylar’s side. “Skylar don’t listen to anything he has to say. He’s saying what he can so we’ll turn on each other again.”

  Lucius snorted and shot her a sharp look, from within Skylar’s grip. “You would rather to continue to lie?”

  Skylar’s eyes locked on hers. “Freckles? What’s he talking about?”

  Judging by the slight shake of Tarquin’s head, and the set of his shoulders, he looked ready to attack Lucius. “We need to keep moving. Skylar, he’s trying to—”

  Skylar’s eyes sparked. “Be quiet. I don’t trust you.”

  Lucius smiled again. “No. But you trust Merrin.”

  Skylar’s eyes slid to her, and his eyes grew even brighter. “I’m not playing this manipulation game anymore. We should have gagged him.”

  Relief flooded her veins as Skylar shoved Lucius. Tarquin caught his arm and sent her a pained look. “I need to get him inside. I’ll go first, stay back so he doesn’t keep trying to talk to you.”

  Did he say I need to? “Fine,” Skylar said.

  Tarquin’s nod was slight, his expression grim as he turned and steered Lucius back inside. Skylar waited for her to follow and took the rear as if guarding her back. Just like always.

  Memories battered her as they walked side by side in the narrow tunnel. Some hers, some Lucius’ horrific ones. Every memory seared into her, threatening to rob her of all the fond memories she had of Skylar.

  Still adjusting to the dark of the tunnel, her foot lost traction, and she stumbled into Skylar’s muscled arm. His hand caught her elbow as she righted herself with a mumbled apology.

  He was a hair’s-breath away from her when his eyes sparked, his voice was thick as he eased away from her. “Easy, Freckles.”

  Her heart slammed around in her throat, her smile was weak as she shook off the continued unease. Would she never be able to relax around him again? Had Lucius Tartarean contaminated their friendship forever?

  Would she always be haunted by the memory of kissing him? A dull ache began in her stomach as Tarquin’s footsteps echoed around her.

  How much worse was it for him? He’d not cared for any of the girls he’d been with, Lucius hadn’t allowed him to. From his shattered echoes of memories, Tarquin couldn’t even remember their faces clearly.

  Merrin carried on walking through the slippery tunnel, every thought carrying two more equally unpleasant ones as they neared the exit.

  Lucius had been silent, but as Tarquin waited for them to reach them, his voice sent a chill running along her spine. “Does Merrin know you mean to kill me tonight, Tarquin?”

  Tarquin’s eyes went wide, his eyes sparking as brightly as they had done when he’d confronted Zolten.

  Skylar came alongside her, his attention on Tarquin when he asked the question she was terrified to. “Is that why you wanted to come back this way?”

  He didn’t answer Skylar, only looked at her and even in the dark she could see he was being torn apart. “This needs to end here. He needs to end here.”

  Her voice carried a shake as she tried not to look at Skylar. “You can’t do that.”

  Lucius’ laugh bounced off the tunnel wall. “Oh, but he will. You see, Merrin, he’s wanted to for so long. I do believe that’s why he returned here. Isn’t that right, Tarquin?”

  Tarquin was silent, his mouth pressed into lines, but his grip around Lucius’ arm tightened. “Merrin. You didn’t see half of what he made me do.”

  Fear stole her breath, her skin rose in response to the pain in his eyes. Before she could speak again, he pulled Lucius backwards, and they disappeared into the caves.

  Skylar caught her arm as she moved to follow. “You want to tell me what’s going on? Or do I have to go in there and ask the one person I’d rather not?”

  Merrin swallowed, her emotions caught between anger and worry as Skylar removed his hand.

  “Freckles? It’s just us now. Tell me what you saw.”

  Her eyes grew moist, but she pulled her shoulders back. “Skylar. You need to go back to the council. Ask them to come here. You can’t be here. I can’t explain, but Lucius…”

  Her voice faltered, and Skylar’s eyebrows knitted together. He took a step forward, then back as if he couldn’t decide. He ran a hand over his face. “Look. I know things are, well, wrong between us right now. But I am your friend. I’ve always been your friend. Haven’t I?”

  A sob escaped, and he moved as though he was going to embrace her. She shook her head and held a hand up to deter him. “Skylar, yes. You’re my friend. And you need to trust me. Please. He has the upper hand. He’ll say and do what he can to cause friction. And I can’t leave Tarquin alone with him. You understand, don’t you?” Please understand.

  Skylar’s frown only grew. “No. No, I don’t understand any of this. I always thought things were so crystal clear. Until this morning when you left to follow him. I knew exactly where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing.” His eyes burned into her. “He knows something about my parents. And I’m beginning to think you and Tarquin know too. So, what am I supposed to do? Try not to get in the way while you put yourself at risk again? Or do I force you to tell me? Tell you if we were truly friends, you’d never keep anything from me?”

  A solid lump began growing in her throat. “Please, don’t make me do this.”

  His eyes dimmed, despair etched on his face. “Freckles. Just tell me the truth. I think I already know. But I need to hear it from you. I need to know I’m not crazy. Because right now, I don’t know what to think.”

  Her breathing increased as she steeled herself to break his heart. “He’s your father, Skylar. And I’m so, so sorry.”

  He stared at her, his expression blank as he searched her face. When she couldn’t hold back her tears any longer, his voice became resigned. “Where is my mother?”

  Her chest constricted as Lucius’ memories took hold; for a moment it was all she could do to carry on breathing let alone think of how to tell him. How much could he possibly take in one day?

  His tone was clipped as he ground the words out. “He killed her, didn’t he? That’s what caused the council to split twenty years ago. Then he took me. Had some other family raise me, and when I was old enough, he came got me again?”

  Her heart clenched as he shook his head as though trying to shake off the pain. “Since you’re ripping my heart out, anything else you want to add, Merrin?”

  She flin
ched at the use of her name rather than his nickname for her. “Skylar, I didn’t want to tell you like this.”

  He shook his head, equal parts disgust and sadness on his face. “No. And it shouldn’t have been you. The Chief should have told me years ago. Instead he chose to invent a story. Did he know? Did he know who I was?”

  Merrin shook her head. “No. No one did. Lucius knew you’d be most effective if you were as close to the Chief as possible. He killed everyone who knew.”

  At her words, his anger seemed to simmer as quickly as it had boiled. “I’m not going to the council. I’m not going to bring them here. You are.”

  The protest was on her lips in an instant, but Skylar was ready. “Merrin. For the first time in your life, would you listen to me!”

  Heat flared over her cheeks, but he wasn’t backing down. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe if you’d heeded a few warnings, if you’d thought things through and hadn’t rushed in without thinking, that maybe, just maybe, we’d not all be in this mess together?”

  She sucked in a breath, heat flowing through her body as his words pierced in, just like Zolten’s had done. “Are you saying this is my fault?”

  His head shake carried anger. “No. I’m saying that the three of us created the perfect storm for Lucius. All he had to do was pollute the way we were raised, train us, and then find our weakness and exploit them. The three of us together are the perfect combustible spark he needed.”

  Her thoughts sped so quickly she almost missed the dismissal in his tone.

  “I’ve spent the last four years trying to show you this is not your fight alone.”

  Without so much as a goodbye he spun on his heel, and she was forced to watch his muscled frame slowly dissolve into the black of the tunnels.

  Too gobsmacked by the way he’d spoken to her, too terrified to admit she’d once again been reckless, she dug her fingernails into her palms, and blinked rapidly and tried to still the flow of angry tears.

  She’d taken one step towards the tunnels when the wind whispered softly to her. Together you are stronger.

  A bolt of light, brighter than the fiercest lightning flashed in her mind. With the wind granting fresh energy and clarity, Merrin sprinted in the direction the wind called her.

  ***

  Darkness clung to Tarquin as he led Lucius deeper inside the caves. Though he was used to the enclosed space, his lungs seemed compressed somehow. Sweat began to bead on his upper lip, his palms growing slick.

  His thoughts still tangled, twisted into Merrin’s, and Lucius’, it was a struggle to separate them to form a coherent strategy.

  As if in response to his thoughts, Lucius twisted out of his grip and eyed him, a smirk growing on his face.

  Tarquin reached for his arm again, but Lucius waggled his finger at him as though he were a child. “You think you are strong enough to kill me on your own?”

  His jaw clenched as Lucius grabbed his exposed arm. Pain shrieked through him, stealing all rational thoughts as Lucius battered into his mind. Together you are strong enough, alone you will fall just as you all did time and time again.

  He dropped to his knees, agony screaming through his entire body as though a thousand needles were piercing his skin. Fire blazed through him as he struggled to form a conscious thought.

  Ice trickled down his arm, flowing through him, creating fire that seared into his skin and stole all thought of fighting back.

  A heavy weight crushed his chest, making it impossible to draw breath; unseen hands clutched at him as Lucius’ full power grew. His thoughts fevered, scattered images of inflicted pain from his past merged with his present agony, reminding him of the power Lucius held. Do you understand now? Do you see why I choose you three?

  Amongst the pain that burned like a rolling wall of ice, Tarquin fought to pull his thoughts together. It took more than he had left to try to untangle the excruciating pain tearing through him to form an answer.

  A muddled voice penetrated the crippling pain screaming through him. Sweet relief descended like a crashing wave when Lucius released him.

  Collapsed on the cave floor, Tarquin’s breathing still hadn’t returned to normal when Skylar’s deep rumble sliced the air like a static charge. “Tarquin, you are Luminary now so get up and start acting like it!”

  His eyes blazed, and Tarquin’s legs seem to strengthen enough to pull himself upright. Tarquin’s own eyes sparked to life as if encouraged by Skylar’s show of solidarity.

  Lucius sighed as though greatly distressed. “I should have known he’d try to protect you. It’s in his nature to sacrifice himself. Very well.”

  The scent of sulphur blazed through the air as Lucius spread his hands. “Now you will see why I choose the dark.”

  A fine mist began to swirl around Lucius, and with it cold that crept inside, choking the light, a living breathing entity that smothered.

  His mouth filled with the fog as his lungs seized. His coughing was echoed by Skylar’s. His head grew lighter as dark seeped inside, coating every thought with reminders of everything he tried desperately to suppress.

  Every vile thing he’d done, every girl he forced, every life taken, every brutal beating given, crashed into him.

  Lucius’ voice became a snake-like hiss. “You can never undo what you did. Neither of you. Nothing is stronger than the dark.”

  Pain tore through him, mingling with the horrific flashes off blood, screams and stolen moments of frenzied lust. You are wretched, Tarquin, and you will always belong to the dark. Embrace it—embrace who you are.

  On his knees again, Tarquin forced himself to look up, in the hopes Skylar was immune, but Skylar was frozen in his own wordless battle, his eyes no longer bright, his hands over his face as though he was trying to stop seeing whatever it was that Lucius continued to show him.

  The sounds of tramping feet made his heart lurch in his constricted chest. What now? Had Lucius summoned the Sleepers to finish them off?

  Chapter 7.

  Merrin’s heart slammed in her chest as she found the entrance to the caves, her nerves increasing as she entered the darkness again.

  She inched forward, her hands trembling as she ventured inside. Allowing the wind to direct her, she made her way towards where she hoped more trapped Luminary might be.

  Cold flowed through the caves, a wave of ice that curled into her skin. With a silent prayer Merrin followed her instinct and tracked the way Skylar had shown her.

  Her body moved carefully, still not sure of who or what lurked within the caves. Movement from behind her caused her skin to rise. She spun as swiftly as she could, a jolt to her chest as a man with swirling dark crowding out his pupils stepped forwards.

  Dressed in black, with a knife at his waist, his eyes narrowed as he freely examined her. “What are you doing out here? It’s lockdown; you should be in your bunk.”

  Merrin edged away from him, panic surging through her as she stumbled over what to say. Who was he? There was no evidence he was one of her kind, no hint of light amongst the black that coated him.

  His lips tugged up as he ran his tongue over his teeth. And in one horrific moment, Merrin saw exactly who it was Tarquin had been protecting her from. Everything about the man before her screamed predator.

  As his eyes ran the length of her, heat built in her veins as she prepared to defend not just herself the rest of the girls he likely enjoyed hurting.

  To confirm her suspicions, he smiled, a leering smile that would have spoken of his intent had his words not. “You’re the one Tarquin claimed? You get sick of him? Or wasn’t he man enough?”

  Nausea swelled as he took a step towards her when she didn’t move. “I order you to come with me. Resist, and it will hurt more.”

  Rage overtook the churning in her gut as he made a grab for her. Her temper bloomed as she slapped her palm over his beefy wrist, and his face slackened. Where are the Luminaries?

  His twisted thoughts soiled her mind as she dragged the l
ocations of the hidden Luminary from him.

  As pain stole all his fight, Merrin separated a few more of his memories and was shocked to find hateful thoughts that all centred on Tarquin. And his jealousy that Lucius Tartarean had chosen him as second in command.

  The level of his hatred so intense, she couldn’t bear it any longer, she twisted his wrist, knowing that he wouldn’t fight and pulled him along with her as she sought the room where the female luminaries had been stowed away.

  She pulled him easily, filled with urgency that propelled her forwards. Afraid he might wake too soon, she winced as she purposely smashed his forehead against the cave wall.

  He slumped, and she didn’t bother to check before ducking inside the dimly lit room. Lines of bunks too numerous to count were stacked inside the room.

  Sleeping forms were covered in blankets, deep breathing coming from the majority of the women inside.

  A jumble of thoughts and memories, mostly from Tarquin assaulted her as she took a shaking breath and looked to see if she recognised any of the women.

  Guttural noises and low laughter tugged her feet towards the back of the room. Her heart flew to her throat as she spotted the source of the noise.

  Three men had cornered a curvy girl with blonde hair, from the looks of her, likely pulled her from sleep. Scarlett.

  Two years older than her, Scarlett’s eyes were wide, her expression laced with confusion that sickened Merrin further.

  One of the men pushed her against the wall. His hand on his belt as one of the other men growled. “Hurry up. Lucius will be back soon. We get caught leaving our posts again, getting to her before Tarquin won’t make up for the lashing.”

  Her jaw clenched at the mention of Tarquin. Did he always get first pick? Is that why they hate him so much?

  Jealousy twisted her gut until, with a moment of clarity she recalled just how much shame Tarquin felt at the way Lucius had used his abilities.

  The girl squinted. “I don’t understand. Is this part of the training?”

  The men laughed in unison as the one holding her snapped his belt undone. “Don’t worry. Come morning you won’t remember a thing.”