Love's Abuse

by Flynn Eire

  “Why do you care?” I seethed, taking a step towards him before I caught myself.

  “Because I care about you!” he bellowed as he came closer. “You’re just about all I care about.”

  “Helios, back off,” Cadric ordered from behind me. “You asked me to come help him. This isn’t helping.”

  “I know, I know,” he growled, reaching up and fisting his ear-length brown hair, tugging it too hard. “I just had to know he was okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make a scene. I just had to see him when you guys were done.”

  “You’ve seen him, now leave him be.”

  My mouth fell open as Helios let out a wordless shout, turned, and punched the wall before storming off. I slowly looked at Cadric over my shoulder and saw he was wearing about the same expression. “So I’m not the only one who wasn’t ready for him to act like that?”

  “No, not even close,” Cadric muttered, staring after Helios. “I’ve known him for a few centuries and never have I seen him lose his head like that. I don’t know what the two of you shared, but my friend doesn’t call in favors often and believe me, he called in a gigantic one to get me on a plane here instead of you coming to me. And after seeing that, I’d say my old friend has fallen hard for you, Rune.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, forcing me to tell him things and playing me clearly shows that.”

  “He also had a job to do. I’m not excusing whatever happened or taking sides. I’ve never known Helios to get personally involved in his assignments. All I’m saying, as an outsider who knows him is something must have happened or he felt something real for you to have crossed that line.”

  “Maybe,” I agreed, flinching when Helios threw open the door at the end of the main hall. He had gone through a lot of hoops and trouble to keep me out of trouble and get me help. Maybe he really did care about me?

  But that didn’t change the fact his assignment at our camp was temporary. That didn’t bode well for us, and I wasn’t in a place to get my heart any more broken or have any more damage done to it than what he’d already done.

  6 Rune

  Two weeks after Cadric arrived, I was taking a run at night to clear my head. Between sessions with him, training in the areas I never had been, and getting the quarterly clean sweeps done—I was exhausted.

  And I’d never felt better all at the same time. Weird, right? Okay, sure I was raw all the time, exposed and crying after meeting with Cadric, but I was dealing with what happened to me… Not just hiding from it or trying to pretend it hadn’t happened.

  Or worse, pretend it wasn’t so bad and search for a new Master so I felt as if I wasn’t always so off balance as if I needed to be abused to fit in this world.

  “Bring Me To Life” came on my iPod and I smiled for the first time ever since I’d put the song in my workout rotation. I was finally feeling that and it wasn’t from a person… Well, Cadric’s help, but not him being in my life as my Master or lover. It was because of what I’d done, the work I’d put into getting better.

  Who wouldn’t smile at that?

  I welcomed the burning in my muscles as I turned the corner at the edge of the camp, but when I slowed down to do it, out of nowhere two figures came barreling at me. I went flying into the fence as they crashed into me, my arm slicing open, and I landed hard.

  “What the fuck?” I bellowed at Ben and Dean, once I saw it was them standing over me. I yanked out my earbuds and tucked them into my pocket. “What’s wrong with you guys?”

  “Give us back our encrypted phones,” Dean growled as he grabbed my injured arm with his claws, dragging me to my feet. I hissed in pain and tried to shove him away. “You don’t know what you’re fucking with, Rune.”

  “What are you—” I started to ask but then froze. We’d found two phones hidden at the training obstacle courses and didn’t know who they belonged to. “What are you guys involved in?”

  “It’s above your clearance,” Dean informed me. “It’s council business, now give them back.”

  “Guys, there’s no secret council assignment going on Alexander wouldn’t know about,” I hedged, glancing between them. Dean moved closer and sliced up my hip with his claws. “Think about it! Why would you need separate phones from ours? There would be no red flags at calling the council on our lines.”

  Ben’s claws dug deeper into my skin to the point I felt them hit the bone. “It doesn’t concern you, Rune. Just give them back to us, and we’ll forget it ever happened, go back to the way things were.”

  “Yeah, we miss you, sub,” Dean purred as he leaned in and licked my shoulder, scratching up my back. “You don’t play with that dickhead anymore. Give us the phones and play with us again.”

  “No, I’m not going back to that,” I whimpered, trying to shove them away. “I’m done with all of that. And you guys are being played. The council would send in an outsider to investigate us, not you guys.”

  “Give us the phones, little sub bitch,” Ben demanded. “Or we’re going to stop playing nicely with you.”

  I closed my eyes and let out a shaky breath, bracing for whatever came next. “No.” They’d never be able to get them without my help. They were locked in the command center and only a few of us had the combination to the safe.

  Ben and Dean weren’t those people.

  “Get off him!” someone roared, and my eyes flew open as Dean’s claws cut my back slightly as he was ripped away from me. Ben let go to defend himself, and I stood there, watching Helios just about break the man’s face and then Ben go down like a rock, instantly out. Dean groaned from the ground and Helios kicked him and Dean didn’t make another sound. “Are you okay?”

  My gaze snapped back to him as he reached out and gently cupped my arm before pulling off his shirt to wrap it. “How—what—how?”

  “Will you promise not to get mad at me?” he muttered, glancing up at me for only a second as he tended to me. I nodded. He’d just saved my ass, so yeah, I could give him a pass. Helios sighed as he crouched down and checked the gashes on my hip. “I’m going to sound like a complete stalker, but I’ve been checking up on you still. Cadric said you’ve been distracted with so much on your plate, and running at night—even here—can be dangerous. I thought I’d shadow you, but you’re so fucking fast.”

  “You were following me?” I whispered, my heart racing at the news. “Why? You said the council cleared me of any suspicion of being a traitor.”

  “It wasn’t for the council or anything to do with my being Wyrok,” he assured me as he leaned closer and licked my hip. I moaned and moved my hands to his shoulder.

  I tried to argue and push him away. “I’m fine.”

  “You’re not.” His hands moved to my waist and he braced my weight. “These are deep and it’s a long way back to the infirmary.” He pulled out his phone, and I heard a series of taps, assuming he was texting people where we were and what was going on. Then he slipped it back in his pocket and started licking again. “I’ve been taking runs at night when you have, purely for personal reasons.”

  “Why?” I pushed, still not getting it. He growled and stood, his hands on my waist. He opened and closed his mouth several times and then finally shook his head. Then his hand moved behind my neck, and he pulled me against him, sliding his mouth over mine. I kissed him back, shocked at the whole turn of events and wanting the comfort as much as I missed his kisses.

  He was the only man I’d ever kissed after all.

  When he pulled away, we were both panting heavily, and he leaned his forehead to mine. “Because you, my young, young Rune, are the only thing on my mind. Maybe I am a stalker but you have done something to this old man and I cannot move on. I would do anything for you, even go on these ridiculously long runs to make sure you’re safe after I forced Cadric to tell me how your sessions have been going, breaking my own promise to myself never to use my gift for selfish reasons.

  “I didn’t ask specifics, just how you were holding up. He told me well, but he worried
you were taking too much on yourself with your extra training and the work timing. It worried me, so yes, I was shadowing you because you’ve been distracted. I’m sorry I overstepped when you asked for space. There is a threat out there and I couldn’t let anyone else hurt you. I didn’t know if it was here but all it takes is one second for something to happen and I couldn’t have it be with you.”

  I leaned back and studied his eyes for a minute. “Did you ever want to be my Master? You said that’s what you wanted.”

  “No,” he breathed, wincing. “I just wanted you. I would have done or been whatever you needed to be with you though. At first I thought you were a sub who needed a Master so I agreed, but I’m not into that.”

  “Okay, I’m not mad,” I muttered, bobbing my head. He was still leaving though, so what was the point of trying to work this out? I pulled away further and I think he realized I was done talking about the subject though because sadness filled his eyes. “Thank you for saving me.”

  “You’re welcome.” Helios rolled his eyes when Ben muttered something. “Would you shut the fuck up? I’m making amends here!” I bit back a smirk as he bent over and punched Ben in the jaw, the man instantly going out cold again. Then Helios cleared his throat and glanced at my hip before kneeling down. “We really should close these wounds.”

  “You called for help,” I murmured as his hands rubbed my waist. As if fate was trying to tell me to shut it, the last threads holding my shorts together broke and they started to fall off but I caught the edges… But not before flashing Helios my groin.

  “No, really, I don’t mind,” he groaned and licked the gash closest to my dick, his cheek rubbing it through the material.

  Yeah, I was hard as fucking nails. I moved my other hand back to his shoulder, my thumb rubbing against his neck without even meaning to. It just felt so good and not simply his tongue and saliva healing me, but him tending to me like that. I enjoyed it way too much, blocking out everything else until bright lights from vehicles stopping by us brought me out of my stupor.

  I blinked at Dimitri and Matteo, realizing how this whole thing looked. “He’s not blowing me.”

  “We don’t judge,” Matteo chuckled.

  “I wish I was,” Helios muttered under his breath. I glanced down at him, my eyes just about bugging out of my head. Would he really ever get on his knees for me like that if I asked him to?

  Would he want to?

  Not going there, Rune. Don’t go there. He’s leaving soon. Don’t be stupid. “Ben and Dean clawed me. Helios was healing me.”

  “Yeah, Alexander gives me the same kind of healing,” Dimitri chuckled as he lifted Ben up over his shoulder. We’ll get these guys. You come back in the other truck whenever you’re ready.”

  “We’re ready,” I blurted, pulling away.

  “We are?” Helios whispered as his hands tightened on my waist. “Really?”

  I bobbed my head again as I slid my fingers under his to pry him off me. “I’m not mad you were following me, and I’m grateful for the save, but this doesn’t change things with us.”

  “What would?”

  “Nothing I can think of,” I admitted before hurrying over to the truck Dimitri had just dumped Ben in the back of. I got in the passenger seat, grateful when he didn’t do anything but get in the driver’s side and pull away, leaving Matteo and Helios to deal with Dean.

  But I should have known he wouldn’t keep quiet for long.

  “I know you’ve had a shitty past, Rune, but I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice because that’s what friends do. That man cares for you. People fuck up. Alexander lied to me when we first got together, trying to protect me. Men do stupid things, trying to help us sometimes. They’re not perfect. The important thing is why they did what they did. Helios did it for honor to his assignment and because he was trying to help you.”

  “I know,” I whispered, staring out the window. “I think I could forgive him and move past it.”

  “But? I hear a but in there.”

  “He’s leaving, Dimitri. This is an assignment for him.” I glanced at my friend, frowning when he met my eyes. “What would be the point? To get my heart broken all over again when he left for good?”

  “Yeah, I hear you on that. That’s a very valid point.” Dimitri let out a loud, noisy sigh, shaking his head. “I don’t have an answer for that, my friend.”

  Neither did I.

  * * * *

  Two weeks later I was doing even better. The quarterly clean sweeps were over, my sessions with Cadric were becoming even more manageable for me mentally, and I was wrapping up all my extra training with the post-trans, Dimitri having certified me on basically everything I needed to earn my actual title to be a warrior.

  Except sword training. That was difficult to fake not knowing when I could barely pick one up and not look like a goober. Plus, there were some PTSD issues there given how I’d been treated in the past. For now we agreed to put it off and I got a pass on it because I was never in the field anyways. That and my shooting tests were perfect.

  It worked for me. I’d take the until later gimmie.

  Ben and Dean were transferred to the council’s headquarters. It turned out that the idiots really did think they were working on some super-secret assignment just for them. Morons. They never verified anything and after running down everything they told us, back-tracing the phones and calls, we found out they were speaking to someone who was actually running the newly founded Zakasac leadership.

  Unfortunately by the time we pinpointed a location, the team found the place empty. We were still combing through everything left behind, hoping to find any type of lead to give us something more to go off of. At least we plugged the leak and shut down one of their ops bases which was alarmingly close to our own camp.

  “Hey, sorry to bug you, but I need your signature on the last of these reports,” Helios said as he approached my station. I saved what I was doing and turned to him, taking the folders from him.

  Things had been better between us—civil but professional. I didn’t leave a room when he was there or tense up if we were sitting at the same table. He hadn’t tried to kiss me again or push me about my sessions with Cadric. He’d kept a respectable distance.

  Or he did from what I knew. Someone as old and skilled at Helios wouldn’t have been spotted by someone like me. If he wanted to stay hidden, he would have.

  “Do you need these now?”

  “No, any time before the morning would be great.” I nodded and reached for a pen. “I said I’d turn in my final reports tomorrow.”

  I knocked over the holder and snapped my head in his direction. “You’re done here? You’re leaving?”

  He studied me closely a moment and gave a slow nod. “I’m done with my assignment, yes. This is the last of it.”

  “Oh, well, glad you wrapped things up and got the answers you came here for,” I muttered, turning away. My chest ached at the news. Here I’d kept my distance so it wouldn’t hurt when it happened and still I felt it.

  “But I’m not leaving.”

  “What?” I spun in my chair to look at him, turning right back at him so fast I heard something in my neck pop. At this rate I was going to injure myself.

  He chuckled softly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m staying on here and really taking Yuri’s place. I was a warrior, then a councilman, before I was Wyrok. I’ve spoken to my people and I’m tired of all the traveling. I’ve been doing it for centuries, always inserting myself in other people’s lives, never having one of my own. I don’t really want to retire with the crisis we’re in, but I want a home and I like it here.” He focused intently on me and I felt my heart flutter. “I like the people here.”

  “You’re staying.” Yeah, he’d just said that but I repeated it for whatever reason.

  “Yeah, I’m staying. There were a few reasons but I found one big one.” He pursed his lips for a second and then cleared his throat. “Don’t be mad at Dimitri b
ut he might have admitted that maybe we’d have a chance if I wasn’t leaving. I was thinking about giving up jumping from assignment to assignment for a while, but I didn’t have a reason. You gave me one.”

  “You’re staying for me?”

  “No, not just for you,” he hedged, leaning his hip against my desk. “That’s too big of a life change to dump on someone’s lap and that could lead to issues later. I wanted to make some changes in my life and I really like it here. I like the job—not the assignment—but the job I was filling in for, and I like the people. You’re part of that last one, of course, but more than that, you made me think there was more to life than just the job and sacrificing having a life to be of service. I can do both, so thank you for that.”

  “You’re welcome.” I smiled at him and then my stomach turned sour. He was basically saying he wanted a life and to be happy with someone.

  And I’d closed that door with him. Did that mean I’d have to watch Helios be happy with someone else? Here? Right in front of me?

  Oh fuck no!

  “So, yeah, if you could get me those by the morning, that would be great. Next week I start as just Yuri’s job—my job now, and I’m glad to get the rest of this shit behind me. I’ll still be Wyrok, because you’re never not once you’re in, but from here and only if they need me.”

  “I’ll get it back to you later tonight.”

  “Cool, thanks.” He pushed off my desk and smiled at me, scrubbing his hand over his brown hair and opening his mouth to say something else before shaking his head and walking away.

  What had he been thinking of telling me?

  I waited until he was long gone before jumping up from my seat and telling Gilroy he was in charge, that I had something to take care of. I raced to Cadric’s room and banged on the door until he opened up.

  “I need another session,” I demanded, pushing past him and closing the door behind me.

  “Rune, we meet in the lounge,” he hedged, holding up his cell. “I’m on a call.”