Golden: A Paranormal Romance

by Ellis Marie

  “So if the alpha is the king, then the luna is the queen?” I summarise, watching Scarlette’s face light up in a grin. “And the luna is a wolf too?”

  She notices the slight hesitation in my voice. I look away from her, focusing on my soft and fragile hands that are gripping each other tightly.

  How am I meant to be the luna of a pack? I couldn’t even protect myself against my family, let alone other people. Will I really be looked to as a source of guidance? Of protection?

  “A pack’s luna is always human,” Scarlette corrects, sitting beside me again. “The alpha is the strongest wolf in the pack; they’re the closest to their animalistic side. They have the instincts of a creature that can kill someone in two seconds flat. For everyone, their mate keeps them sane and grounded, connects them to their human side, but for an Alpha, it’s more than that. Their luna is the voice of reason; they’re the one who keeps humanity in the pack, who shows kindness when the instincts of a wolf would be to kill. If there were a luna and an alpha who were both werewolves, then it would be catastrophic. They’d lose their humanity and most likely become a savage pack. Lunas are always human to balance out the animal that the alpha becomes.”

  In a way, I understand it. Too much power corrupts people, having two sides of a coin means that they never tip too much in one direction; they stay equal.

  “So that’s what I am to Trent?” I ask softly, blushing a little as the words leave my mouth. “I’m his human side? His humanity? I don’t know if I’m that good of a person to be that.”

  Scarlette smiles as she watches me struggle with the colour coating my cheeks and chuckles, wrapping an arm around me.

  “You know why you’re going to be an amazing luna? Because you’re worried you won’t be.”

  Her words melt my panic as I hug her back, her soft arms reminding me that Trent isn’t the only person supporting me here. For the first time in my life, I have more people around me who care than who don’t.

  I’m starting to get used to the feeling of not being afraid of them. Of trusting them.

  “Thanks, Scarlette,” I sigh. “For everything. You really do know how to make me feel better.”

  She smiles but her eyes flicker to the door, making her stand. “You’re welcome, Luna. I’ll leave you and a certain pouty boy alone.”

  I’m confused for a second before she mouths ‘Trent’ and points at the door, a wink following. The blush on my cheeks increases as she walks away, muffled laughter trailing out with her.

  “Hey! Don’t start calling me that!” I call as she opens the door and throws me a cheeky grin while leaving, nodding her head as she does.

  “Alpha.”

  The worry that Scarlette had made me forget about for the last short while returns with a vengeance, the idea of having to have a difficult conversation makes my hands shake.

  As she disappears, Trent enters, stopping only a few steps in as the door shuts behind him with an apprehensive expression on his features.

  “Hi,” I say quietly, trying to not think about Scarlette’s story and the feelings that are apparently going to increase between Trent and I, but the hot feeling on my face indicates that I’m not being very successful at that.

  Am I meant to feel flushed or worried right now? Could I be both?

  “Hi,” he replies gently, scratching the back of his head. “What were you and Scarlette talking about?”

  I nonchalantly stand up and wave my arm above my head, high laughter escaping my mouth. “Oh, nothing big just the story of werewolves and mates and such.”

  Oh, very breezy, Elle. Congrats.

  There’s silence around us as I face away from him and stare at the painting on my wall, trying to not let him see how much his presence is already beginning to affect me.

  I just need to get a grip on my emotions and my heartbeat. I’m a grown woman, I can handle both.

  “And what do you think of it?”

  Trent’s voice is so low and close that the hairs on the back of my neck rise and my stomach curls, my body already anticipating the tingles that will begin to shoot across my skin as soon as he touches me. I can feel his breath on my ear and the heat of his chest on my back. It takes everything in me not to fall into it.

  Alright, maybe I can’t handle it.

  “W-well,” I start shakily, my words catching in my throat as his finger touches the outside of my thigh and trails up the side of me, continuing on to run up my arm. “I think it’s very romantic.”

  His hand moves at a snail’s pace. I don’t know whether I want to scream at him to stop or hurry up; it’s maddening having him so close but barely touching me.

  Romantic is not the first word that entered my head. Of course, it isn’t. Sure, I thought it’s romantic and beautiful, but a more primal urge fired up within me at the idea of it—a feeling that made my toes curl and my knees buckle.

  “Just romantic?” he pushes, his nose touching into the side of my neck. I instinctively tilt my head to let him, my body betraying my mind. “The idea of someone being your other half, of knowing you better than you know yourself . . . of completing you?”

  Oh, sweet Jesus.

  “I . . . um—” I try to speak but my words turn into dust in my mouth as his lips press a kiss into my skin, the heat flooding me.

  Those lips could make me do anything right now.

  “It’s alright, mi cielo,” he half growls, circling his arms around me. “Even when you will not say the words, I can feel them. Not to mention a certain item around your neck.”

  I gasp and spin around, embarrassment coursing through me as I feel the weight of the pendant and know that me trying to hide my feelings is impossible. He already knows them before he stepped into the room.

  “That’s not fair,” I complain, trying to step away but his arms are like cages around me. His smile draws me in closer, my heart hammering as our chests press together. “I don’t know what you’re feeling all the time.”

  He grins at my words and pushes my hair behind my ear, his fingers following the line of my jaw.

  “Whatever you feel, my luna, I feel tenfold.” His eyes turn soft as he looks down at me. “Yes, a heat overtakes me every time you so much as look in my direction, but my deeper feelings for you are unparalleled to that.”

  The way that he looks at me makes me feel as though I’m in a sea of bliss, his arms keeping me afloat as I let myself forget all the awful things of my past. I gently run my hand up to his neck and into his hair, where I play with a piece of it as I try to not look into his eyes.

  “I know that I have these feelings for you, and my body obviously knows it too.” I take a deep breath before I continue, “But I also have the memory of everything Matt did to me, things that I don’t think I’ve even really processed. I’m scared that they come back to me in moments that I don’t want them to.”

  My eyes are blurring, and air rushes out of me as I finish, the weight of them lifting as I finally say out loud what I’ve been too scared to say to Trent for so long. Even if I want him and want to forget about Matt, I don’t think my body will let me, not quite yet.

  Trent doesn’t say anything, and just watches me instead with his jaw clenched. For a moment, I think he’s annoyed at me that, like Matt, he will punish me for saying no or for talking about another man.

  “I will never be able to understand the things he did to you, or how you have the strength to push yourself forward,” Trent whispers so quietly that I can barely hear him. “And I will never ask you to forget them or never speak of them. I know that they’re a part of you that makes you who you are.” He holds my hand to his mouth and kisses it gently, rubbing his thumb across my knuckle. “I will only try to fill your head with different memories that outweigh the heaviness that the bad ones bring.”

  But I suppose I should know better by now than to think he’s anything like Matt.

  “Thank you,” I mumble back, trying to keep my eyes from pouring with tears at the kindness an
d gentleness that he shows me.

  How could this be the ‘alpha’ that is meant to be part animal, the terrifying beast that could kill people and will go crazy if his emotions tell him to? Maybe I have to believe that the story of mates is true; otherwise, I’ll think everyone else is crazy for not seeing him the way that I do.

  Compared to the other men that I know that hurl horrible thoughts and take their anger out in a blink, he’s so kind and gentle. He has done nothing but treat me as though I’m worth more and continuously shows me that he has a gentle heart.

  “Do you remember the night of Tracey’s party?” Trent cuts into my thoughts with a small smile tugging at his mouth. “Before we left and came here?”

  When Carter cornered me by the bathroom?

  My face must betray me because Trent’s eyes widen slightly and he shakes his head, pulling me away from the negative thoughts.

  “When we were waiting for Cole and Kristie,” he corrects. “And I had caught you falling down the stairs before and was alone with you.”

  I can’t help but smile at the memory—the way I was trying to pretend that I didn’t feel something for him, and the look that he gave me made me fall for him right there.

  “Yes, you told me I was the most beautiful girl you’d ever seen.”

  I remember the way his eyes watched me with so many questions and so much desire in them that it had set my heart alight. Trent nods at my statement and touches my hand that hangs at my side.

  “It’s still true,” he teases. “But that was the first time that I had been close enough to kiss you and hold you and realise that you felt for me what I was feeling for you. Kristie had interrupted us, and my desire was through the roof and my wolf was going crazy, begging me to just do it . . . to just grab you . . .” he trails off, looking down at our hands as his pinkie gently wraps around mine, the rest of our body untouching.

  The realisation hits me as I look down at our intertwined fingers, the tingles spreading up my hand like wildfire.

  “You did that,” I answer. “You didn’t touch me except for linking our fingers.”

  As I look back up at him, the fierce and protective look is gone from his face and is now one of bashfulness and vulnerability, his eyes not meeting mine as he swings our hands a little.

  “I didn’t want to scare you, but I needed to touch you . . . to know that you were there, to settle my wolf. That’s all I need. This is enough.”

  His warm eyes finally look at me, preparing themselves for my reaction as he holds his breath, watching me carefully.

  I’m surprised that my heart hasn’t exploded out of my chest just by that look. I remember the way that it made me feel at the time—the sparks that ignited all over me and the rush that it had given to my body, but now, it’s more than that. It’s such a simple and delicate touch, but it feels like it’s feeding my soul, making me brim with happiness and comfort. Is that what he feels too? Is that what this tiny connection between us does for him and his wolf?

  He’s always looking out for me, always making sure I’m safe and happy. I don’t know what I have done in my past life to deserve such a man.

  I gently squeeze his hand, hoping he understands.

  “I do need to talk to you about Cole though,” he adds with a tense look. I wince at the change in conversation.

  I almost forgot about that.

  “How is he?” I ask, grateful for our interlocked fingers being the only contact we have due to the sweat beginning to coat my skin. “Scarlette said he was alright.”

  “He is,” Trent states, confusion on his features. “Which is why we’re all a bit confused.” The atmosphere that lingered around us before fades away, a serious one replacing it.

  “Wolfsbane shouldn’t have helped him heal. In fact, it should have killed him, but whatever it was mixed with meant that it was diluted, and he was given the perfect amount. It woke up his more ‘supernatural genes’, we can call them I suppose, and healed the parts of him that weren’t responding. It was like a shot of adrenaline. We haven’t heard of something like that happening since . . . well, since werewolves came into existence.”

  Oh thank god, I didn’t give him anymore.

  “The witches gave it to me,” I tell him before he can even ask, my nerves getting the better of me in the silence. “I didn’t know it was wolfsbane, and I would never have given it to him if I thought it could have killed him, but I trusted them. Maggie trusted them; I had to believe they were helping.”

  His frown deepens at my words and my heart plummets at the look of disappointment and stress on his face.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I say quietly, unlinking our fingers. “I understand if you’re annoyed at me.”

  Trent sighs and kisses the top of my head before he leans against it, pressing our foreheads to one another. “I was annoyed at you,” he admits after a moment. “But only because you put yourself in danger. I would have rather you given it to me to do.”

  I’m shocked at his confession. When I pull away, he can clearly see that I expected him to be more annoyed with me. His stressed expression and worried frown haven’t left his face, and it makes me even more concerned about what’s going on.

  “We’re a team. I need to know that from now that you trust me enough to listen to you, and we can make decisions together. If you trust them, then I do too, but I need to keep you safe.”

  I nod in agreement with him. He gives me a small smile, but the lines on his forehead tell me that that’s not what is worrying him.

  “I’m glad that you gave it to him, and he’s awake and healthier than ever, but that wolfsbane shouldn’t even exist. Not anymore,” he murmurs, sitting down on the edge of my desk with his large body looking almost comical against the small wooden frame. “The wolfsbane that humans know is only one strain and it causes us to get ill or a bit weak, but the wolfsbane that you gave to Cole is more ancient than that. That wolfsbane is pretty much lethal to wolves, and so years ago, the council of wolves decided to burn it and get rid of it. The worst part is that it’s also the same as what was on the arrow that Cameron found in Ben Novach.”

  By the look he gives me, I know that it’s worse than I can begin to imagine. Ben was only a rogue, as they called him, but wolves are meant to be stronger than humans; it must take a lot for them to be killed.

  “So what does it mean? Someone’s found some?” I ask but Trent shakes his head. “Then what?”

  “It was all burned and hasn’t been seen for years. The only way that it could be here is if someone has made it, which means this is a lot more serious than we thought.”

  “Made it?” I ask confused, trying to understand what he means. “How could they make it? Like in a lab or something?”

  “Either in a lab . . . or there’s a witch who is making this stuff for hunters.”

  The accusation shocks me. I don’t know much, but I know that he means that there are people beginning to pick sides, that there are people out to get werewolves that are more than just some humans who thought they had seen one.

  “But Tia gave me that vial and it saved Cole. If she was trying to kill you, then why would she do that?”

  Surely, the kind woman who had hugged me with such love and shown such kindness in her eyes isn’t plotting to murder the people who have taken me in as one of their own. I don’t think that someone who had a place in Mrs. Grenway’s heart could be capable of such a thing.

  “I don’t think she was trying to kill anyone,” Trent states, his voice rumbling with anger. “I think she was trying to warn us. If there are witches plotting to kill wolves alongside hunters, then people will be watching. There’s only so many ways she could let us know or give us a clue as to what is coming. I think her giving us that vial was her letting us know without being found out, along with helping Cole.”

  “Is that possible?” The worry is palpable in my words. “Could that be happening? Could they be working together?”

  “There are rum
ours,” he replies after a moment, his eyes looking across the room, but I know they’re seeing something else. “Rumours of a group of witches who don’t think we should exist, who believe us to be against nature and want us gone. We’ve had a treaty between us for so many years, but that doesn’t mean they can’t help hunters who are targeting us. There’s always loopholes.”

  He looks almost pained as he sighs and leans over his legs. “I just didn’t think we would start turning on each other when we’ve faced such horrors in the past. I’m scared of what’s to come.”

  I know there are things that he isn’t telling me, from the moments where his words trailed off or his eyes would shine with a memory that he’s not yet ready to share. It’s clear that as much as I’ve suffered and hurt, he has too. If not more.

  My horrors are my own. I could own them and know them inside and out.

  But Trent . . . I try to imagine all that plus having the responsibility of a pack on his shoulders, the worry of people trying to kill you, and the pressure of protecting your loved ones. The knowledge that your decisions can affect so many people. I’ve been told that Trent makes the younger wolves stay in the packhouse so he can look after them, so he can make sure they are okay. I’m sure that that’s how he is with his entire pack. He takes that all upon himself.

  And he does it all alone.

  He shouldn’t have to do that.

  I reach for him and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling his head into my stomach as I weave my fingers into his hair and hold him while trying to relieve some of the worries that are plaguing his mind. Letting him know that it’s okay to put his guard down.

  His hands reach around me and hold me, pulling me in between his legs as his breathing deepens and his fingers clutch the material of my dress. The act itself makes me realise how much pressure he’s put himself under. All the while, he was looking out for me and putting me first, making sure that my problems were his own.

  He never once showed how much all this is getting to him, how hard it must be to have no one there to turn to or help. I’m sure Cole and the other boys help him when they can, but I can see how much he does on his own, how much of a wall he puts up to give the strongest front he can.