Otorimonogatari

by Nisioisin

  “Huh?”

  Tsukihi’s words make Nadeko snap out of it.

  Second your faults?

  “Like, ‘You’re sloppy but I like that about you!’ Or ‘I love how you’re so foulmouthed,’ or ‘I like how there’s always a shadow about you!’ or ‘I like how you’re so clumsy!’ I wonder what it feels like to be told that kind of thing. Does it feel bad, or does it make you feel better, which is it?”

  “…”

  “Who even said that to you, anyway?”

  “Wh-Who…”

  Tsukihi just went to her next question without waiting for Nadeko’s answer to the first one.

  “i, um, can’t really tell you…”

  “Was it Koyomi by any chance?”

  “N-No… Big Brother wouldn’t,” i deny firmly before any false doubts get cast on him. Then again, it was a vampire mentally linked to him, Miss Shinobu Oshino, who said it to Nadeko, so maybe i don’t sound too firm.

  It’s not like that’s why, but i stick on something like a footnote.

  “B-Big Brother Koyomi is kind…”

  “Yeah. I know he’s kind. I know that better than you. But it’s exactly why he sometimes says things you don’t want him to.”

  Things he shoudn’t, you see. No, maybe things that─he doesn’t need to, Tsukihi adds.

  “…”

  “Wait, so you have a crush on him, don’t you?”

  The ace up her sleeve comes from nowhere.

  And she’s laid her hand right on the table.

  It feels like the game changed right as i thought we were playing poker.

  No, her straight question is making Nadeko want to flush, so maybe it’s still poker. Right, Tsukihi doubled down.

  “Wh-What might you possibly mean by that?”

  i’m so shaken that i speak in a stilted way. i sound like the culprit in a classic detective novel.

  Then again, that’s pretty much the position i’m in…

  “Wh-Where is your evidence…”

  “Hey, you don’t need to hide it. Everyone can tell, anyway. It’s so obvious. The only person too dim to notice is probably Koyomi.”

  “…”

  “I thought you might be happy you got to sleep in Koyomi’s bed last night─”

  Tsukihi says this.

  No way.

  Nadeko isn’t such a shameful girl and didn’t take off her yukata and sleep naked in his bed for just a second─i want to say so but can’t get the words out. i’m not panicking, but i’m a step away from it.

  Well, sure, for a number of reasons, Tsukihi, if no one else, would have figured it out by now…

  “─And I thought it’s because Koyomi said ‘aren’t you glad you’re cute’ or whatever that you’re feeling bothered.”

  “…It wasn’t him,” i correct, but maybe Miss Shinobu’s words did cast a gloom over Nadeko’s heart.

  Still.

  “Still, i wonder if Big Brother worries about Nadeko the way he does, even spending the whole night looking for her, only because she’s cute…”

  “Maybe, if you’ve got nothing else going for you.”

  Tsukihi is ruthless.

  She really doesn’t have an ounce of “ruth.”

  What part of her makes her Big Brother’s little sister? Well, true, their faces do look very much alike.

  “My brother has a thing for cute girls… No, no, I’m kidding, I don’t think that’s true. Because he’ll help anyone. Your cuteness doesn’t mean a thing to him.”

  “…”

  “That doesn’t satisfy you, either? My, you’re selfish.”

  “No, that’s not it…”

  i was just trying to figure out who’s right, Miss Shinobu or Tsukihi. But─it’s not like only one of them can be right, i’m sure.

  Shinobu, whom he’s linked to.

  Tsukihi, his little sister─each of them sees things in her own way, they each have their interpretation. Which is why Nadeko needs to have her own way of seeing Nadeko, her interpretation of herself, but─

  Nadeko has nothing. No interpretation at all.

  Her own feeling. Her own thinking.

  i don’t even try.

  “By the way, Nadeko, in that case, the flip side might be that you’re being my friend just because I’m ‘Big Brother Koyomi’s’ little sister.”

  “What? Th-That’s…”

  i panic.

  Then i remember the rumors about that girl who supposedly became friends with Nadeko just to get closer to a boy.

  Remembering─only makes Nadeko panic more.

  “That’s not true… i mean, the order’s all reversed… i-i came over to your house to play because we became friends in second grade, and that’s when i met Big Brother Koyomi…”

  “Hmm. But you started to hang out with me again during first semester this year because of Koyomi, right? In other words, because I’m my big brother’s little sister?”

  “…”

  “That kinda stuff,” Tsukihi drops her serious tone after realizing that Nadeko has gone silent. “It doesn’t feel good when someone asks you that kinda stuff, yeah? Regardless of whether it’s true or not─see, that’s what you were asking me a minute ago. You didn’t even consider how it’d make me feel.”

  “i’m sorry.”

  Yikes.

  Again, Tsukihi isn’t looking for an apology─

  “B-But it’s not like i hang out with you only because you’re Big Brother’s little sister… Though i do think you’re scary.”

  “What?”

  “E-Er, i meant to say you’re slary.”

  “Slary…”

  Nadeko has failed to talk her way out of it.

  Still, i have to admit i can kind of see Tsukihi’s point now─while things did happen in a different order, second-grade Nadeko, who didn’t like dealing with people just as much then as now, came over to play at Tsukihi’s house every single time she was invited─not only because of how pushy Tsukihi was, but also because of Koyomi, no mistake.

  So in that sense.

  Nadeko isn’t in a position to complain or grumble.

  Yes. Not even about that friend.

  “I’ve always wondered about that, actually. I was waiting for my chance to ask─Nadeko. Why did you start to like my big brother so much?”

  “Wh-Why?”

  “No, wait, you don’t have to tell me. I’m sure there was one thing or another. A long time ago. When we were in elementary school. After all, my big brother’s cool. He’s kind. He’s dreamy. And he used to be smart.”

  “…”

  Such smooth praise for her own brother.

  i’m a little frightened, no, not just a little.

  “You don’t need a reason to like someone…and you can also take that to mean you can like someone for any reason. From being cute to being someone’s little sister, any at all. But─Nadeko. What made you keep liking him for six years straight?”

  “Wha…”

  “The only time he and you had any contact was back during second grade, right? When he was in sixth grade. He started to try to act cool once he got to middle school and mostly stopped playing with girls younger than him… You probably didn’t even see him for six years. So how did you manage to keep liking him?”

  “…”

  “To me that seems, how do I put it…way beyond simple devotion…”

  In fact.

  When Big Brother Koyomi saw Nadeko again after six years─he’d forgotten all about her.

  That’s natural, it’s not like he’s particularly cold or has a bad memory─at least, i don’t think you can blame him.

  It’s just that Nadeko remembered him, one-sidedly.

  Abnormally, i remembered him.

  “Th-That’s…but,” i say. Nadeko is in excuse mode. “But i heard rumors about him even after i was in third grade… Y-You know, he was the most active when he was in middle school, right?”

  Just like how you and Karen started operating as the Fire S
isters once you got to middle school, Nadeko blabs on.

  i’ve suddenly turned talkative, and just as you’d expect, Tsukihi doesn’t hesitate to give Nadeko a suspicious look.

  “I guess,” Tsukihi nods anyway. As Big Brother’s little sister, she must know better than anyone just how active he was during middle school─how mischievous he was, you could even say. So.

  As an excuse.

  Nadeko’s words must have been pretty convincing.

  “True, even after he got to high school…my brother was something of a celebrity. He seems to think that he’s a regular, average high schooler for some reason, though.”

  “Big Brother Koyomi’s concept of a regular, average high schooler seems pretty different from most people’s…”

  “Yeah… I suppose you consider yourself the norm. Insisting that you aren’t cute, for instance, even when you are.”

  “…”

  Sure, Nadeko misspoke earlier, or even vented her anger, but still, Tsukihi is being rather persistent.

  In contrast to the laid-back Karen, Tsukihi tends not to let things go.

  i wonder if she’s about ready to free Nadeko.

  “Y-Yeah…so it’s not weird,” i argue. “It’s normal to keep on liking someone for just six years.”

  “Just six years… That’s nearly half of a middle schooler’s life… Hmph.”

  Tsukihi snorts, and then─

  “I know I don’t have to make sure, but just in case.” She crawls over, approaching the bed on all fours to look up at Nadeko, whose eyes are downcast─this way, Nadeko can’t hide her expression. “When you say that you like Koyomi, you don’t mean as a kind and caring big brother or as a friend, right?”

  “…”

  “You mean you like him in a sexual way, right?”

  “S-Sexual…”

  “Oops. As a member of the opposite sex, right?”

  “Y…Yeah.”

  “You don’t want to be in my position or Karen’s, you want to date him or be his lover. That’s what you mean by liking him, right?”

  “Y-Yeah… That is.”

  “You want to snuggle and cuddle with him, right?”

  “i-i do…i think.”

  “You want to do this and that.”

  “i do…”

  i have no choice but to answer this way when she’s grilling Nadeko.

  Mister Serpent, on Nadeko’s right wrist─

  Doesn’t say or do a thing.

  He acts like he’s not there.

  i wonder what he thinks about Nadeko and Tsukihi─upon hearing this conversation between two girls in their second year of middle school.

  “N-Nadeko…likes Big Brother Koyomi. i like him…as a man.”

  “Okay.”

  Tsukihi nods, then continues, still staring at Nadeko’s expression from below.

  Given the situation, you’d think she’d follow up with something like, Then you’ve got my support! Don’t worry, I’ll be your go-between! But wait for it, what she says is almost the complete opposite.

  This is Tsukihi after all.

  “But you know he has a girlfriend, right?”

  016

  Nadeko can tell that her pupils are dilating.

  And that her face is getting stiff.

  She feels the edges of her lips twitching, too─it’s not something i can stop, even if i try. It’s a physiological reaction.

  The wheezing─the motions.

  Tsukihi sits there observing all of it.

  Something like an eternity seems to pass, but in reality, it must have been a single moment, less than a blink of an eye─in fact, Tsukihi really does blink once before her eyes narrow.

  “Huh,” she says. “I see. You did know.”

  “…”

  “That’s your reaction, clearly. Not surprised, but ‘caught out’─well, people like to gossip about Koyomi. It’s hard to live normally in this town and not hear about it. Plus, he must have not been hiding it from you unlike with me and Karen.”

  With that, Tsukihi moves away from her spot below Nadeko and stands up. It looks for a second like she’s getting ready to punch Nadeko, but no, Tsukihi opens the door.

  i wonder if she’s leaving because she feels disgusted by Nadeko, but she just wants to check the hallway.

  Glancing back and forth─probably to make sure that Koyomi and Karen aren’t anywhere nearby─she closes the door and returns to where she was.

  No, not where she was.

  Now she’s on top of the bed─rising to be eye-to-eye with Nadeko, Tsukihi sits down.

  It’s a springy bed, so it feels like the ground shakes─or more like everything, including the ground, wobbles back and forth.

  She’s close.

  And, i’m, scared.

  If you’re thinking that i’m being too afraid of a friend, try sitting there in Nadeko’s place.

  “All right then, Nadeko,” Tsukihi says. Looking straight at Nadeko. “Let’s be honest with each other. Woman to woman.”

  “…”

  Is this situation still going to continue?

  Isn’t it about time for Nadeko to go search for Mister Serpent’s object of worship in a new chapter?

  i feel like Tsukihi’s favorability rating is plummeting, but…no.

  She probably doesn’t care one bit about her favorability─right, unlike Nadeko.

  “When did you find out?” she asks.

  “Wh-When? Well, um, i…i did hear rumors…b-but before that, beyond that, i see Big Brother Koyomi walking with girls all the time…”

  “…”

  What’re you doing getting seen like that all the time, Koyomi? i hear Tsukihi mumble.

  i sense a little sister’s rage at her big brother’s carelessness.

  “And it’s a different girl every time, so i thought they probably weren’t his girlfriends…”

  “Koyomi is way too careless…”

  “Now that i think about it, i might have also seen him riding on Karen’s shoulders a number of times…”

  “A number of times?!”

  “S-So i thought maybe they were all like little sisters to him…”

  “A guy with that many girls who’re like little sisters to him is somehow way worse than a guy with several girlfriends…”

  “But.”

  But.

  Out of all of them, one─was clearly different.

  One of them was different.

  Not like a little sister, and of course not like a big sister─

  “She matched him and just looked like his lover.”

  “Matched him, huh? You’re right─she does,” Tsukihi expresses her agreement. “She’s a good match for him. To the point where she comes across like the only one for him. Everyone might think Koyomi is the only one for her, but it’s actually the other way around.”

  “i guess that was around last month… Oh, uh, it’s already November, so…two months ago.”

  “Hm. So after we started second term… It took you longer than I expected.”

  “…”

  “Really? Are you sure you’re not lying to me?”

  Tsukihi turns her eyes to glare at Nadeko.

  Her sleepy eyes are wide open, and it’s pretty scary.

  i can feel the force behind them.

  “I’m gonna punch you if you’re lying, okay?”

  “i-i’m not…”

  “In the lower abdomen.”

  “You’re getting even more specific…”

  “Hmph. Well, not like it’d mean anything if you lied about it─because my issue with you right now is why you still have a crush on Koyomi knowing he has a girlfriend.”

  “Y-You have an issue with Nadeko…”

  i scoot back a little.