SCOTLAND ZEN and the art of SOCIAL WORK

by J.A. Skinner

  Chapter 17

  Still Friday 23rdth May

  Sufferers may become frustrated at being unable to work or do previously simple tasks. They may behave stubbornly, have mood swings, become more irritable and antisocial than usual, or have fewer inhibitions.

  When I arrived home, I got a panic phone call from Amy asking if I could have Khalid for a few hours after school football practice. She had a crisis with Rena and would come round and collect Khalid as soon as she could.

  I said I would be delighted to have him and told her to phone Mrs Mulholland and let her and Khalid know what was happening. Mickey was picking up John from football practise, and coming to tea so he could get both of them. Great, it would be a full house.

  John ran in first, threw his schoolbag, football bag and jacket in the hall and came into the kitchen to announce,

  ‘Khalid is here for his tea,’ as if this was news to me, ‘and elephants are pregnant for two years.’

  ‘My God,’ I wince, and instinctively hold my stomach as if anticipating a lengthy confinement, ‘that must be a bit tough.’

  ‘Not only that,’ says Khalid, obviously another seer, ‘they have to give the babies milk for five years.’

  My nipples definitely twitched at that.

  The girls were very taken with guests for tea and arranged the table so that Khalid had to sit between them and tidied away his shoes and schoolbag. He copes with all this very well, obviously used to his own little sisters fussing around him. Mickey discussed the football practice in minute detail with the boys, who ran where, how many free kicks were taken, who knows what offside is, and on and on.

  Eventually I said to John,

  ‘What kind of day did you have in class?’

  ‘Very boring,’ he said, ‘except the stories about the elephants.’

  I was relieved that there were no repercussions after my visit with Mrs Mulholland. Khalid also had a boring, non eventful day but dropped a bombshell nevertheless.

  ‘My very, very silly Aunty Rena wants to marry my Uncle Ali, she must be mad,’ he said, shaking his head with the weary wisdom of a seven year old,

  ‘She is really a bit loony ‘cause she cries and says she’s so, so happy, and then she covers her bedroom floor with clothes and says, ‘My God and Allah, I’ve nothing to wear.’

  Mickey and John crack up laughing at this. Fuck, fuck, I didn’t anticipate any conversation about Ali.

  ‘Why is Rena a loony to want to marry your uncle?’ Mickey asks.

  I really can’t believe this is happening at my table in my kitchen, in my house.

  ‘Ali is very boring, listens to Abba a lot, and looks after sick people all day, sometimes mental old ladies with no teeth.’ Khalid looks round the table at everybody for support and agreement.

  Theresa nods her head wisely, but pipes up to tell Khalid that Uncle Mickey also has a job like that with sick old ladies and he isn’t a bit boring. Bless her, she is truly loyal to her Uncle.

  I can’t look directly at Mickey and he gets up to do something at the cooker, with his back to the table, one of my avoidance tricks. He must realise by now this is looking far too coincidental.

  I quickly change the subject, tell the boys to stop gossiping and run through what is available on television after the homework is done. When the kids finish eating and are all occupied, I stand at the sink and start to wash the dishes. Mickey automatically helps, the comfort of our domestic dance routine, once again.

  ‘What do you think Mickey?’

  ‘Unbelievably, I think my Ali is his Uncle Ali, the lying cheating groom to be,’ his voice is ice, ‘did you know this Mags?’

  ‘Not for sure Mickey, I thought it might have been him, but hoped it wasn’t. Now it seems unlikely not to be him.’

  I tell him everything about my visit to Amy, John’s invitation, the welcome party for Rena, and the very near future plans for the wedding. My heart breaks for Mickey, this is a very cruel situation. I’m sure there are thousands of gay men who get married and complicate their lives because it seems simpler to fit in with their families and the rest of the world. What a mess it must cause eventually, I can’t begin to imagine.

  ‘What did Ali tell you about his family?’

  ‘He said he had a great deal of relatives in Motherwell and Glasgow, and that his cousin Malik lives here in Carfin.’

  Mickey doesn’t sound bitter, just sad and resigned. He says he knows there are lots of arranged marriages for Middle Eastern gay men, that on the surface look ideal for the couple and for the families, and that almost always the young brides were heartbroken when the truth came out, as it eventually had to.

  ‘You think It’s definitely is him then,’ I say, ‘it must be, what’re you going to….’

  ‘I haven’t got a clue Mags and unfortunately you can’t make this right for me,’ he says with a sad smile which nearly breaks my heart.

  We finish washing up in silence and suddenly Amy is at the door, Khalid is getting his homework packed away, John is asking if Khalid can stay the night and being refused, the girls are both trying to help the honoured guest on with his shoes. Theresa, little sneak, tells him he would be nicer as a brother than John, she has obviously taken a shine to him. Before Amy and Khalid leave, giving profuse thanks, Amy says that she has had a terrible time with her sister, who was having a very bad homesickness day. She wanted to go home with her father immediately, hated Scotland because when the sun shone it wasn’t hot, she missed all her friends, and she was beginning to find her fiancé a bit secretive and mysterious. Amy said she had managed to calm things a bit at the expense of everybody else's nerves and was hoping this was just pre-wedding jitters.

  Mickey left just after Amy did saying that he had some important phone calls to make. He gave me a parting look and a tight hug that spoke volumes.

  The kids were left very flat but before they could start to act up we all changed into pyjamas, had ice cream, and they went happily, sugar filled and sedated, to bed.

  Strange things happen. How complicated is my life becoming? The priest and the mysterious family illness that I can’t seem to get the time to unravel, Kate’s nerves popping out of her head about the adoption, and poor Mickey, my darling sensitive kindly brother possibly in the middle of a doomed romance, and of course Rena, the innocent young bride to be, as Khalid put it, crying her eyes red raw and saying she’s so happy, poor girl.