Way Of The Wolf: Endeavour (The Wulvers Series Book 3)

by Rebecca Anne Stewart

  Focusing on tearing the meat off and taking the bits I wanted, I lay down to eat. Sating my hunger, I still paid attention to my surroundings, my ears flicking towards any sound that seemed too close. I was being overly cautious, I knew that. Roarke had his borders constantly patrolled and the only wolves around were those in the pack. It was an early Sunday morning too, only the wolves assigned to patrols would even be out of bed at this time. I’d memorised their rounds, it made it easier to go for runs without the chances of running into anyone. Relaxing a little more, I tore more meat for myself and my tail flicked happily. My belly was full now, my muzzle covered in blood, but still I ate. I wasn’t one to ever waste a meal.

  A faint snapping sounded and my body thrummed with a sudden awareness. Someone was near. I rose slowly, the urge to flee far stronger than any instinctual need to protect my kill. I danced on my paws, struggling between the cowardice of my skin side and the growing confidence of my fur. The pack knew I was skittish and they very rarely bothered with or acknowledged me, so why would one dare to creep so close? Perhaps they smelt fresh blood and wanted to join me in eating. Yet giving up my own prey was too much submission even for me.

  A low growl left my lips before I could help myself, giving one last warning in the hopes the wolf would turn away. A shadow in the trees and Quillan’s wolf appeared through the thick undergrowth. My heart did an odd flutter at the sight of him. My wolf took notice of his size and strength, watching the ripple of muscle that thick black fur couldn’t hide. I suddenly wished I’d decided to run after all. Dark eyes considered the dead fawn and then me. Learned reactions told me to shrink down, to duck my head, tuck tail and let him take what he wanted but a newfound strength had fur ignoring my nature. My ears pinned back against my head, lips peeling back to bare fangs. I had taken down the fawn so nobody would eat from it until I had taken my fill and given permission.

  Quillan sat a few metres away, his tail thumping against the ground in a completely relaxed way. He was showing me he was no threat, that he meant no harm. I watched him for another minute, contemplating. His head quirked to the side, one ear flopping over as if he was saying ‘The next move is yours.’

  Slowly, I lay back down, still wary and my eyes never left him as I tore off more meat for myself despite feeling close to sick with how much I’d eaten. I barely even tasted the meat, too caught up in his presence. Had he followed me? And if so, why? There was no other reason Quillan would be up so early and just happen to come across me. He’d hunted me down.

  At least if he had followed me, he’d respected me enough to let me hunt by myself, to give me some space. I wasn’t sure anyone else would think I’d be so capable but it was something I’d had to learn since my father hardly ever kept food in the house and I’d had no way of buying any. Forcing myself to become a capable hunter had been the only way to survive.

  Quillan crept forward a little, his body low to the ground. I froze. His actions were completely submissive to me, something I didn’t even think Quillan was capable of. He wanted to eat with me, and as long as he kept some distance, I would allow him to. He tore off meat from the fawn’s belly and dragged it closer to me. My teeth bared again, a small rumble of warning rolling from my chest. He stopped, flopping down to eat facing me. His tail continued its rhythmic thump against the ground. At least one of us had managed to relax.

  We ate of my kill peacefully together.

  The beauty of the forest unfolded with the sun that rose slowly. When it finally hit the top of the treeline, the sky lit up into shades of fire. The air had warmed up since I’d left, and basking in the warmth was relaxing. I took time to admire the view, stretching out my front legs. The feel of Quillan’s eyes on me drew my attention back to him. The sun brought out the array of colours in his fur. At first glance he was shadow black but under the morning orange glow, it was a rainbow of dark brown, black, and inky blue, like raven’s feathers. His hair was the same when he was in his skin, I’d noticed that before.

  I wondered what I looked like next to him. I was taller than Cathwulf by a few inches even in my fur, but far less built, lacking any mass of muscle. Where Quillan was tanned skin and dark haired, I was pale and blonde. Even my fur was a mix of light grey and white with only small flecks of darker grey that gave away my northern Wulver ancestry. My lineage hailed from the arctic forests of Finland on my father’s side. I couldn’t tell where Quillan’s family originated from. From the few words he’d shared with me, I could hear his Scottish brogue held a lilt of something else. An accent that had faded over time but not completely disappeared. I’d heard him speak Gaelic before and that barely hidden accent came out stronger then.

  An amused chuff left the object of my scrutiny and I was embarrassed that I had been openly staring at him. I ducked my head, finishing the meat that lay at my paws.

  I was glad he was there, distracting me from earlier thoughts. My father and his cruelty disappeared from my head as Quillan stole all my attention. I wanted to work him out, like a puzzle I needed to solve. There was a mystery surrounding this male, I knew there was. He wasn’t like any other wolf I had met. He was wilder, with a quiet strength and a streak of something that scared me like nothing else. There was no doubt about how easily he could overpower me. His dominance rivalled even Roarke’s. Wolves like Quillan were one of the reasons having an alpha was so important.

  His head cocked to the side, one ear flopping over like it had before in a way that made him look more like an adorable puppy than a fearsome Wulver. My wolf urged me to my feet and I let instincts take over. I didn’t care that I was blatantly showing interest in him, for once letting my fur guide me in what to do. Quillan stayed still as a statue as my wolf studied him, scenting his fur, teeth nipping by his ear. He let out a playful growl, jumping to his paws. I stilled, unsure of his intentions and part of me trembled with fear while my wolf told me he was playing, that we should play too. Did I dare?

  I watched, studying his relaxed nature. Still unsure, I lowered my front, a small show of playful fang peeking from behind lips. I yipped as he suddenly jumped forward and almost knocked into me before he was dancing away again. Amusement and excitement bloomed, my eyes watching Quillan spin around and jump towards me again. This was how wolves bonded, if I wanted to know more about him, I had to take the risk.

  Just as I was about to join in, finding some sense of bravery from deep within, he paused. He took on a more serious pose, his stance widening as growls tumbled from his chest. There was nothing playful about this. This was a male warning another off. His ears were flicking about, searching for something I couldn’t sense. Excited butterflies that had fluttered in my stomach turned to moths of dread that twisted around and brought old fears to life.

  I trailed a little closer to the big bad wolf’s side, knowing he’d keep me safe. My eyes scanned the trees, trying to spot some sign of what he was trying scare away. I saw and scented nothing but that only made me more nervous. My slim body brushed against the muscled form of Quillan’s wolf and he moved his body protectively in front of mine. It was hard to resist the urge to burrow beneath his body for safety. I held my breath and waited.

  A loud snapping of twigs had a flurry of crows flying into the sky, their caws echoing eerily in the air.

  Suddenly Quillan’s head was pushing into my side, urging me back the way I had come. I was too scared to move, my instincts were going wild, screaming at me that we shouldn’t have left the house, that my father was right and I couldn’t take care of myself. Why had I left to go hunting by myself? What had I been thinking?

  Quillan growled dangerously at me, snapping sharp teeth near my face and setting my defensive instincts off. His dominance beat against me, making me cower and do as he bid. The change in him terrified me, and though some small part told me he would never hurt me, I couldn’t help my reaction to his show of violence. I skidded in the mud as I dug my claws into the ground, running back to the house and forgetting all about the moment we had sh
ared.

  The world blurred around me. Adrenaline rushed through my body, making me run faster than I even thought I could. Wide eyes took in my surroundings, searching for danger behind every bush and fallen tree I passed. Relief flooded through me as the house came into view and the sound of Cathwulf’s voice drifted outside.

  Panting heavily, I didn’t stop until I reached the door. My legs collapsed under me and I lay with trembling limbs, exhausted from having pushed myself so much. I morphed back to skin after catching my breath and pushed myself to my feet. My gaze flicked back towards the trees but there was no sign of Quillan. My stomach fell, worry twisting at my gut. If he was in danger or had found something, his howl would have filled the air to warn the pack, but the world was quiet. Gently twisting the door handle, I peered into the hall, making sure it was empty before tiptoeing inside. My nightgown was gone from where I’d left it by the door and I cursed. Who would have taken it? I wrapped my arms around my naked body, feeling horribly vulnerable.

  Cathwulf and Roarke were in the kitchen and the strong smell of coffee had me scrunching my nose. There didn’t seem to be anyone else in the house and I wondered if they’d arranged to have breakfast alone today as they often did on a Sunday. Pausing by the door of the kitchen, I caught a glimpse of them. Roarke was standing behind Cathwulf as she made drinks, his hands resting on her swollen belly, his lips pressed against her neck. They looked so happy together, even while doing such a simple task. Cathwulf’s lips were turned up in a smile, her body leaned back to press against her mate.

  My wolf craved to have this, to have a mate. How I dreaded it ever happening. Deciding to give the couple their privacy, I slipped past and carefully climbed the stairs back to my room where I collapsed on the messy bed. My fingers ran through tangled blonde hair and I let my breath out in a heavy sigh.

  Confusion clouded me as I thought back on what had happened earlier. Why had Quillan’s mood changed so drastically? Why had he come after me in the first place? And most importantly, what was out in the woods?

  Chapter 3

  Softly

  The new jeans felt too tight and rough against my legs, and the boots too heavy on my feet. It made me even more self-conscious than usual but at least I was a lot warmer. I’d miss my sandals and skirts that hid most of my shape, the way I liked it. For now, I could no longer deal with trekking through the snow, coming home freezing cold and soaked while putting myself at risk of contracting some illness. Wulvers were immune to many diseases but even we sometimes got the cold. I stared at my reflection, hating the way the jeans hugged my form, so I tugged a long, baggy cardigan on and buttoned it up so it hid most of my skin. Checking the time, I was glad to see it was still quite early so began to make my way downstairs.

  The smell of bacon, eggs, and pancakes wafted through from the kitchen and I picked up the pace as my stomach growled. If I wanted to enjoy a good breakfast, I’d have to fill my plate before the males did. I’d woken up earlier than normal, before most of the pack, so I could avoid Quillan and the other high-ranked as they made their way to the dining room. Cathwulf had invited me to eat with them but it wasn’t right. Omegas didn’t eat with the high-ranked unless the whole pack was together and that was a rare occurrence.

  Voices and movement had me pausing by the kitchen door, taking a moment to gather the confidence to go in until I heard the conversation.

  “Did you hear that omega that came here with our Alpha Female is training with Sam to become the next healer? I see her walking to the clinic almost every morning,” a young male voice asked.

  “It’s good. This pack hasn’t had a healer since I was a small pup. It’s a sign that we are returning to our full strength. That lass will be a good healer. She’s got a sweet soul, if a little quiet,” an older woman replied softly, making me smile.

  I was glad someone other than Cathwulf had faith in my abilities. Though Flidais and Brighid, the twin scouts that had become close friends to Cat also boasted that I would do well. My smile grew a little more.

  “It’s a disgrace! She’s an omega, she doesn’t hold the rank or the dominance needed to be a healer. She’s not just quiet, she’s shy and timid, terrified of males. How will she heal our warriors if she’s too scared to even be around them?”

  I knew that voice and any confidence that had built up was knocked back down again. Tala had been a good friend of Brenna’s and her disdain for me was clear. She knew I was beneath her and I did my best to stay out of her way. If I told Cathwulf about this female’s attitude towards me, I was sure she would do something but I found that every time I was about to bring it up with her, I froze.

  A whacking sound resounded, followed closely by Tala’s yelp.

  “You young ones have no idea what it means to be pack. You’re too caught up in yourselves to remember that every single member is as important as the next. Our omegas are what keep us together, they are the life and soul of the pack. Besides, just because Oria is an omega now does not mean she is meant to be one always. She needs us to help her grow. Having a healer again is important and the fact that she has taken on the training is a massive step in itself for her. If I hear you badmouthing that female, or any other omega again, you will face my teeth, Tala,” the woman scolded with a violence to her voice that had me scared. “I ought to tell your parents how I hear you speak.”

  Tala was quick to mutter an apology and even though I was sure that with the older female there, Tala wouldn’t bother me, I decided to pass on eating. I couldn’t face any of them now, even with someone defending me. Hiding out at Sam’s again seemed like a much better idea.

  Quietly, I crept towards the door, hoping they wouldn’t notice me slip past.

  It had snowed again last night and the world was blanketed in soft white. I zipped up the jacket that Cathwulf had lent me and stepped out into the fresh air. Each footstep I took made a satisfying crunch that had me smiling once more, forgetting all about the conversation I had overheard. Maybe I didn’t hate the snow that much.

  I bowed my head and greeted the few wolves I passed on my way to Sam’s, still struggling to put names to faces. I’d probably never be able to remember most of them. A few I recognised from the clinic, when they needed herbs for various things like help with sleep, which seemed to be most common among the teenagers of the pack. I never went to high school, and from what I’d heard from them, I was glad I never did. Apart from a very select few, most of the pack were kind and welcoming but they tended to keep their distance from me. Perhaps they found me too awkward to talk to or maybe they could sense that even sharing a few words with them was a terrifying ordeal for me; especially if there were males around.

  The sound of a crying baby greeted me as I pushed into the clinic and out of curiosity and my own wolf pushing me to meet the new pup, I entered the main room instead of the healer’s.

  Arianna smiled at me while Sam did her checks on the baby that screamed his lungs out.

  “I hope we didn’t disturb you, Oria,” Arianna apologised, her eyes flicking back to her pup.

  I shook my head, tentatively stepping a little closer. Arianna was nice, my wolf felt calm around her, but she was still mostly a stranger to me.

  “I just arrived.”

  Sam tucked stray strands of hair behind her ears as she straightened up and gave Arianna a bright smile. “Completely healthy, nothing to worry about. He’s just a loud little lad but do come back if you have any more worries. It’s always better to be safe than sorry, especially in this weather.”

  “Thank you, Sam. I’m sorry if I’m being a bother,” Arianna said, taking her son into her arms.

  I stepped closer still, smiling down at the small baby who quieted down, his big brown eyes focusing on me.

  “Have you picked a name for him yet?” I asked, reaching out to stroke a red cheek.

  Arianna looked guilty as she shook her head before laughing. “No, not yet. You must think I’m a terrible mother but I want to wait for Stefan to
get back so we can pick a name for our son together. For now, he is Faol Beag.”

  I grinned. Faol Beag, little wolf. It wasn’t a terrible name to be stuck with for a while at all. In fact, I thought it rather suited him.

  “Anyway, I better head back home. My mother is hovering and decided she needs to make a big lunch.” Arianna sighed, wrapping herself and her son up warm before standing to leave. “She seems to be under the impression that I can’t do anything for myself.”

  “She’s just trying to help. You’re her youngest and this is her first grandchild, she’ll relax soon enough,” Sam assured her.

  Arianna nodded understandingly and headed for the door, pausing to look at me. “You’re welcome to join us for lunch if you like, Oria. My mother is a bit of a busybody. She wants to meet you, start getting you involved with the pack and introduce you to everyone.”

  Her offer seemed too much like an afterthought that she wasn’t completely comfortable with, and the idea of meeting new people, of being paraded around as the new wolf, terrified me. Quickly, I shook my head. “Thank you, but I’m going to be busy around here today. Maybe another time?”

  She gave me an uncertain smile but nodded nonetheless before she left. Perhaps I had misjudged her intention and she really did want me to come. It was no wonder the pack was so wary of me if I came across so closed off.

  Sam snorted once Arianna left and my gaze flicked to hers.

  “Busy? Are you finally going to clean the herb room?” she teased.

  I rolled my eyes but blushed, shrinking in on myself. “I promise I’ll clean up.”

  She chuckled and waved a hand, tidying away her tools and tossing her rubber gloves in the bin. “It’s maybe good you’re here. Cathwulf is coming to see me for her appointment, finally. While I’m sure our Alpha will accompany her, I bet she’d appreciate your presence as well.”