Way Of The Wolf: Endeavour (The Wulvers Series Book 3)

by Rebecca Anne Stewart

  I frowned when Quillan stopped walking, my body swaying slightly at the abrupt halt. We weren’t near our bedroom yet, I could tell, so I lifted my head.

  A group was gathered around the TV in the living room; Flidais, Brighid, and Roarke amongst them. Our Alpha stood with the remote in his hand, his face grim. Shifting in my mate’s arms, I lifted myself so I could see the screen and when I read the headline, I knew why he’d stopped so suddenly.

  Two bodies found mauled. Coroner rules wolf attack!

  “It can’t be, there aren’t free wolves in Scotland,” someone muttered, making Roarke stiffen considerably because the male was right, there weren’t free wolves in Scotland, but there were Wulvers.

  Roarke’s eyes met Quillan’s and I knew immediately the unsaid words passed between them.

  My father’s howl echoed in the room as if far off and muted, making his presence beneath our feet known to everyone.

  Chapter 24

  Pain of the Past

  “You’re sure it was his scent around the bodies?” I asked again, becoming ever more desperate.

  Flidais nodded slowly, taking another step back as if scared of what I’d do. “I’m sorry, Oria. I don’t know what else to say. It was his scent.”

  I shook my head again, turning away from her to rub my face. I refused to believe it, I couldn’t believe it. But was it really such a big step for him to have gone from bursts of violent acts to murder? He had, after all, almost killed Glenn…

  “You’re lucky it was fur the police found on them, my mate. Otherwise they would have been on a man hunt instead of a wolf hunt. We’d have to give your father to them if that happened,” Quillan pointed out, his eyes watching my every move.

  “He isn’t a murderer,” I shot back, my hands fisting in an attempt to keep control. Even as I said it, I could taste the lie. My voice came out less confident now. “It’s a mistake. Someone’s set him up or—”

  “Oria,” Cathwulf sighed, her face creased in concern. “It was him. Deep down in your heart you know it was. You’ve seen him, he’s not stable. He’s dangerous.”

  Shaking my head again, fighting back the tears, I slumped onto the couch. Quillan reached out for me and I flinched away, turning my back on him. Two human bodies found and now police were close to pack land where they’d find evidence of wolves. The bodies were far enough away that Roarke said we had nothing to worry about. They wouldn’t come onto our land. Much to my shock, Flidais did something for a job that meant she often worked closely with the police, though I wasn’t told exactly what. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. She’d went to the morgue and asked around but what she came back with broke my heart. The last pieces of hope for my father slipped through my fingers.

  “We have him locked away. Sam said he won’t live much longer, can we not keep him here until he passes?” I pleaded again, falling to my knees in front of my Alpha, who looked pained.

  “Get up, Oria,” Quillan growled, only for me to ignore him.

  “Please, Alpha. I’ll take full responsibility, he can’t hurt anyone locked up.”

  “Listen to your mate, Oria. Get to your feet, don’t lower yourself for him. I haven’t decided what to do with him yet, it will be discussed,” Roarke promised, offering his hand.

  With teary eyes, I took his hand and allowed him to help me to my feet. He squeezed gently when I looked down, fingers tipping my chin back up. I could sense Quillan tense behind me, could feel his instincts being tested as another male touched me but Quillan trusted Roarke and he trusted me.

  “He’s not just broken human law, he’s broken Wulver law. He’s killed humans, eyes are on us. Eyes we really don’t want on us. If we don’t deal with him, the Laoch will and our pack will be under their watchful eye until they think we’re back under control. They’ll interfere and it’ll unsettle us all. He’s dangerous, do you understand? Keeping him here is dangerous.”

  I grit my teeth, removing my hand from his grip. “I understand.”

  Roarke nodded slowly, still studying me as if he didn’t quite believe my answer. I did understand, but that didn’t mean I agreed. I’d had enough of arguing and begging today, it made me feel weak.

  “Shall we go and enjoy tea then?” Cathwulf suggested, trying to diffuse the tension.

  I wasn’t hungry, and even if I was, I didn’t think I’d be able to stomach food. I wanted to hide away from them all, to get away from the looks of worry and pity that seemed to follow me around today.

  “I’m going to go to bed. Goodnight, Alpha, Alpha Female,” I mumbled, baring my neck before turning to leave.

  Quillan’s footsteps followed me, the heat of him against my back as I reached the bedroom door. I could feel his anger bubbling under the surface but I had no energy to fight with him. I wondered if I could make it to the en-suite before he tried to speak to me but my hopes were dashed. Quillan grabbed my arm as we entered our den, spinning me around to face him.

  “You beg for his life on your knees in front of your Alpha after all he’s done to you, even after he’s killed. What would the pack think if they saw you lowering yourself to grovel like that?” he growled as if disgusted with me.

  “What do the pack think when they see you go rabid and try and take our Alpha’s place?” I snapped back, regretting the words the moment they left my lips.

  He didn’t flinch or get angry, simply shook his head and sat down on the bed. Disappointment rushed through the bond from him. It shattered me. Closing my eyes and taking a shaky breath, I knelt in front of him, dropping my head.

  “I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry,” I mumbled, pulling the sleeves of my cardigan down past my hands.

  As if he couldn’t bear to see me lower myself for the second time today, he pulled me next to him on the bed. I rested my head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent. When I felt his shoulders move in quiet laughter, I lifted my head to look at him.

  “Cathwulf warned me about your temper, you know, about your sass,” he said, his lips twitching into a smile that had me confused. “I didn’t believe her. You’d always seemed too gentle-hearted to have a temper.”

  I blushed, keeping my gaze on the floor. I knew I could be cruel with my words, perhaps I got it from my father, that ability to jab someone where I knew it’d hurt. Quillan moved to wrap an arm around me but I was still too angry at myself and embarrassed to lift my head.

  “I deserved what you said, I’m sorry. And I’m somewhat pleased that you can give back as good as you get,” he teased in an attempt to diffuse the lingering tension between us.

  I tried not to smile, I really did, but the amusement and slight tinge of shock in his tone was too much. Looking up at him again, I shrugged. “When you can’t win a physical fight, you learn how to fight in other ways, but I don’t take pride in it. I don’t want or like to hurt anyone. It goes against my nature. It hurts me as much as I imagine it does them.”

  He nodded, his hand curving around my cheek. We shared a quick kiss and I inhaled his scent. All was forgiven. Forehead to forehead, we breathed each other in and I felt the stress of the day melt away.

  With his fingers tangled in my hair, his features softened, his voice quiet. “I can understand why you don’t want him killed. I should try and be more understanding. After seeing him like that…” he trailed off.

  I frowned and remembered what he’d said in the basement about how he’d seen something akin to how my father suffered before. Biting my lip, I wasn’t sure if I should ask. Quillan was stable around me but I didn’t want to push too far on the walls he kept in his mind to block out whatever had happened in his past to cause how he was now. Yet he was my mate, and surely if anyone had the right to pry, it was me.

  “How do you know there’s no saving him, Quillan?” I asked nervously, blue eyes meeting wide, shimmering black.

  The vulnerability there made him look so much younger than his years. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and looked away from me. I knew very little of Quillan�
�s past. So very little. I knew nothing of how he was brought up other than the rumours that were whispered, nor how he ended up here with the pack, or how his sister, who was much older than him, ended up here as well. He was a male shrouded in mystery.

  “Gods, Quillan,” I murmured. “Do I even know you?”

  His whole body jerked as if I’d slapped him. “Of course you know me, my mate. I’m not my past, just as you’re not yours. Are we the same wolves now that we were years ago?”

  I shook my head but had the feeling he was trying to deflect. Maybe he did have a point; if he met me years ago, he wouldn’t recognise the female who sat beside him now. But I still wanted to know, to understand him better. I think he could sense this because he became uneasy, I could feel the feral nature of his fur peak, his body tensing.

  “Tell me about your sister, Maya, then,” I said, moving to lay down on the bed and tugging him with me.

  Face to face, my eyes held his as if I could keep his soul held together just like that. He took my hand, holding it tight.

  “She’s my half-sister, my father’s daughter from a…dalliance he had when he was quite young, fifteen or sixteen. Maya’s grandfather tried to demand he take his daughter as his mate but my father was no pack wolf and too young to want to be tied down. He left her to care for Maya. When he returned again, he brought his mate with him, my mother, and a pup—me,” he began, his voice low and husky, but I was so proud of him already. Never before had I heard him speak so much and to have his trust brought me such pride

  “He was a wanderer,” I surmised, understanding a little more of Quillan’s restless nature.

  He nodded, brow furrowed and seemingly focussed on the way he played with my fingers. “As was his father before him, and his father’s father. Maybe it’s why I struggle so much with my wolf, many generations before me had no Alpha to keep them in line.”

  My heart hurt for him, tears blurring my vision, and I moved a little closer as if our bodies pressed together would make us stronger. His hand rested on my hip now to keep me close, his eyes never daring to leave mine.

  “Maya was only in her late teens herself. She said she couldn’t bear the sight of me so small and skinny, dirty and uncared for, and my mother was a lost soul.” His voice broke, his body tensing once more. “My father beat her into something less than submissive and I was no stranger to his fists from the time I could walk. Maya tried to convince my father I would be better off with her, that I was a burden to his way of life, but for whatever reason, he refused to let me go. Like your father, he deteriorated into something not quite Wulver. He became more violent, less sane. One day, my mother angered him in some way and he attacked. She was too weak to fight back. I was still a pup really, barely come of age, but my father had taught me to fight. I won. But I was too late to save her. I tried to stop the bleeding…I tried…”

  I chewed my cheek to a bloody mess as I tried to keep myself from crying. I wanted to stay strong for him, scared that my own tears would bring his. I didn’t need to hear the rest, I had the feeling I knew what happened after that. There was a flare of something dark in his eyes, a deep-seated anger that scared me. He looked away, creating space between us.

  “Quillan—”

  “You’re right. You don’t know me and I should have warned you about the blood on my hands. Blood of my blood. So you can see why it’s hard for me to understand your need to save his life when I took the life of my own father for what he did to my mother, and to me,” he growled, pushing himself off the bed to pace the room. I didn’t have to feel the way the bond twisted between us to know that Quillan saw some of his father in himself, and that scared him.

  I sat up, my voice gentle as I reached out for him, “He would have killed you too, you saved yourself and I know you did all you could to save your mother too. You’ve never raised a hand to me, or anyone in the pack, you’re not your father. I never had the strength to save myself, someone else had to do it for me and if they hadn’t…” The realisation that if Cathwulf hadn’t found me, the chances I would be dead were ever more apparent. Yet, I still fought for my father. “Even now I can’t save myself and others are having to make the decisions. I trust your judgement, Quillan. If you know how my father is going to end up, I trust what you and Roarke decide is best.”

  He looked pained as he turned to face me, taking my outstretched hand before sitting back down to stroke a strand of white hair away from my face. “You’re far stronger than I, Mo Lighiche Beag. If only you could see yourself how I see you.”

  “O wad some Power the giftie gie us, to see oursels as ithers see us,” I quoted quietly, making him smile.

  “I fear what I would have become if I hadn’t found you,” he whispered.

  I smiled, my chest warming at his words. “Don’t worry, you’re still the big bad wolf to everyone else.”

  He laughed, falling back once more on the bed until his smile faltered. “Is that how everyone sees me? As the big bad wolf?”

  I frowned, feeling gut-wrenchingly guilty for my teasing now. Shaking my head, I pressed a kiss to his lips. It was what he’d reminded me of in my first few weeks with the pack, the wolf in the story of Little Red Riding Hood. He’d been so feral to my senses, so big, strong, and dark. But that had been before I knew him, before I’d watched him enough to know he wouldn’t hurt anyone. At least, not outside of a challenge or to defend the pack.

  “No, of course not. You’re a little rough around the edges but watching you with your niece is proof you’re a softie at heart,” I soothed, running my fingers through thick black hair.

  “Now I’m a softie?” He huffed, rolling onto his back and away from my touch.

  My mouth fell open and I stammered for the words to fix the further hurt I’d caused. I fumbled up until I saw his lips twitch and I whacked his chest, making him yelp. He rubbed the spot I’d hit as if it actually caused him pain and I rolled my eyes.

  “That was cruel, Quillan,” I scolded, even though I was happy I’d learned something else about him; he had a sense of humour.

  How had I only seen it so late that we were well-suited to each other?

  My mate was grinning, a delighted gleam in his dark eyes that had my heart clenching. How many wolves had gotten to see him so playful? Or was this smile only for me to see? I doubted even Cathwulf had seen him like this, so happy and carefree, despite everything going on around us. I decided then and there that I was no longer jealous of whatever connection Quillan and Cathwulf had because they didn’t have this. This moment was all mine. This male was all mine.

  “I love you, Quillan,” I murmured adoringly.

  His grin widened, as if it were possible for him to look any happier. Instead of replying, he settled above me and kissed me hard. I melted against him, winding my arms around his neck to keep him close. Our lips moved slowly at first, savouring every gentle touch until I craved more.

  My fingers hooked into his shirt, tugging it away so I could feel warm skin. Quillan groaned against my lips, teeth nipping soft flesh so his tongue could claim my mouth. I was desperate now as heat seemed to rush through my veins to pulse at my core.

  Yet I was very aware that the house was full tonight. Those that didn’t have family to celebrate Yule with had begun to fill the spare bedrooms and the clatter of cutlery echoed from the dining room. My skin flushed for a different reason now. Rough fingers slid up my thigh, moving my dress out of his way. I shivered and squirmed, mewling into the kiss. When he reached the fabric of my underwear, he growled in frustration, yanking away the barrier.

  “Quillan,” I whimpered, trying to push him away.

  Immediately he stopped, sitting up with a worried expression. “I’m sorry, did I do something wrong?”

  “No, not at all.” I smiled, amazed by this male. “I um…there’s a lot of pack here…and I, well, I’ve heard the pack make fun of when they hear others…”

  Quillan chuckled huskily, leaning down to nip my jaw before whispering. �
��Are you afraid they’ll hear us, my mate? Shall I stop?”

  My head fell back of its own accord, my eyes fluttering shut as my arousal grew once more. My arms slipped back around his neck, my hips lifting. I bit my lip at the feel of him hard in the constraints of his jeans.

  “Yes,” I hissed breathily.

  Another chuckle from him that vibrated deliciously through me.

  “Is that a yes you’re afraid or yes, keep touching me?”

  His fingers brushed over my hip, not touching anywhere inappropriate, waiting for my decision. Another thing I learned about Quillan, he was honourable, and held me in the highest respect. Hooking my legs around his waist, I drew him down to me so he was pressed against my core. I moaned as he gently began to grind against me, eliciting a breath of pleasure. A primal side of me did want everyone to hear him claim me and I him. I wanted everyone to know how well we pleased each other.

  I nipped his jaw then kissed his shoulder, right where the mark I’d given him rested. “Let them hear.”

  Chapter 25

  Burdens

  Groaning in irritation, I slapped away whatever was tickling along my face and interrupting my sleep. I growled when it returned, stroking along my skin and leaving a trail of heat. A low chuckle by my ear and slowly the world came into focus.

  “Do you often slap your lovers in the morning?” my mate whispered huskily, his fingers trailing over the curve of my hip.

  “Only when they wake me,” I yawned.

  Quillan stiffened behind me, his fingers pausing in their path. It was too early for his moodiness and jealousy though, and too early for me to rise to it. Turning slowly, only a little embarrassed about morning breath, I pecked his cheek. “You know you’re the only lover I’ve ever had, don’t get jealous over imaginary males.”