Way Of The Wolf: Endeavour (The Wulvers Series Book 3)

by Rebecca Anne Stewart

  Quillan’s head tipped as if he was listening to something, his brow furrowing. I stilled, straining to hear anything out of the ordinary. All I could hear was the hum of voices from downstairs, a robin tweeting somewhere outside.

  “You’re making me worry, Quillan,” I confessed, watching him closely. “You’re acting strangely. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

  His expression softened when he saw the fear in my eyes and he reached out to tuck a stray strand of blonde hair behind my ears. “I promise nothing is wrong. Having pups in the house is simply making me a little more alert. Relax, my mate.”

  I studied him another moment, trying to decide if I believed him. He leaned down to kiss me, his hands slipping to my hips to pull me to him. My breasts pressed flush against the hardness of his chest, electricity sparking over my skin as his lips moved firmly against mine.

  Distraction.

  Teeth nipped my lip and I moaned, falling completely at his mercy. When he lifted me up and began leading me out of the room, I almost called him out on the game he was playing until he whispered my name, low, huskily, needily, and all thoughts disappeared.

  I couldn’t deny him.

  Chapter 28

  Storm

  Howling wind battered the house, rain pelting hard against rattling windows. The sound sent a shiver up my spine. Despite sitting by the roaring fire, my skin was covered in goose bumps. Ben and Liam didn’t seem to sense whatever was setting me on edge. They were sitting happily together, legs tangled on the couch, Liam’s fingers stroking through Ben’s hair. I blushed as their lips met, looking back at the fire.

  As Cathwulf and I had guessed, it didn’t take long for the males to mark each other. Liam fit into our pack well, even if the fact he was one of the biggest males I’d ever seen terrified me a little. Not that either male was of the mind to so much as look our way, they were infatuated with each other. Cathwulf’s joke about hearing them have sex turned out to be truer than I’d admit. The pair were as bad as Quillan and I were becoming.

  Cathwulf and Brighid were sat on the floor trying to assemble a gingerbread house. Roarke had begged them to put it together in the kitchen as crumbs sprinkled the rug they sat on but one look from Cat and he changed his mind. I didn’t want to risk her wrath by telling her being so close to the fire was melting the icing.

  The house was fuller than normal with wolves who chose to stay here for Yule—those that lived alone or had no family here. Most had gone to the city for a night out. I thought I would struggle but I was enjoying having so many packmates around for once. The vibe was happy and joyful, already there were presents under the tree. I hadn’t gotten the chance to wrap Quillan’s present yet, but this morning I had placed everyone else’s under the tree.

  I dreaded when the day of Yule arrived, Quillan said the house would be packed full, with pups running around, wolves drinking and dancing, exchanging gifts. I was glad we would be eating at Maya’s. Hopefully I would be able to handle the few hours of gift giving.

  “Maybe if we used glue instead of icing?” Brighid suggested as the wall of the gingerbread house once again collapsed.

  I snorted, curling my legs beneath me. Cathwulf sent me a glare before looking back at Brighid, who was licking crumb covered fingers.

  “We can’t use glue, then we won’t be able to eat it,” she said between gritted teeth. “We just need to use more icing.”

  “If you use more icing, you’ll not have enough to decorate the roof,” Ben pointed out from the couch, even though he seemed entirely focused on his mate.

  Trying not to laugh, I looked towards the door. Roarke and Quillan were in the kitchen, the soft rumble of their voices barely reaching my ears. They’d been gone a while, using the excuse of getting drinks. I had the feeling they were eating some of the food that had been brought in for Yule. Quillan had been eyeing up the sliced meats as they were carried in this morning.

  It had been the giant chocolate fudge cake that had caught my eye but Persephone and Arianna were very firm about not touching any of the food. Especially the desserts.

  Kerra appeared round the corner, smiling at me. She too tried not to laugh when she saw her daughter was still fighting with the gingerbread house.

  “That’s Everett and Raeghan both finally asleep, though I have no doubt it won’t be for long, not with that damned storm going on,” she said, sitting beside me, her hand briefly squeezing my arm.

  Brighid hummed, looking out the window. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard the wind so loud. It shattered one of Arianna’s windows this morning.”

  I frowned but Liam beat me to asking my question. “Surely it’s not strong enough to do that?”

  Brighid merely shrugged. “It’s what I heard from Flidais.”

  Something about it just didn’t sit right with me but nobody else seemed to think it too odd. Liam sat up, leaving his mate pouting. “I hope the rain at least lets up soon. It’s melting most of the snow and the flooding is already bad enough in the basement—ow!” Liam glared at Ben, rubbing his ribs where his mate had elbowed him before he froze, his gaze landing on me.

  I straightened up. “The basement’s flooded?”

  Liam floundered, his panicked gaze flicking to the other wolves in the room who were suddenly looking anywhere but at me. Even Kerra had turned away, giving her daughter a scolding look. Cathwulf and Brighid were once again completely focussed on building their slowly crumbling house.

  I moved to stand, to confront Quillan and Roarke. Was my father downstairs freezing in icy water? Kerra grabbed my hand, keeping me in place. There was a tension around her eyes as she smiled at me. “Stay and tell me more about your work, Oria.”

  “I don’t think that’s why you want me to stay, Kerra,” I said, a rumbling growl leaving my chest.

  She looked shocked that I’d try and assert my position against her. She drew her hand back but the power of her own wolf grew and the room seemed to fill with power that fizzled challengingly between us. Kerra was no longer an Alpha Female but she was an elder and still more dominant than I.

  My skin shimmered, threatening to shift to fur. I fought against the crushing pressure that settled around me as Kerra refused to back down.

  “Oria,” she warned.

  I bowed my head, giving in but not submitting, not quite. My hands curled on my lap, the burn of many eyes on my skin. My gaze lifted to meet Cathwulf’s and I could see the guilt in their golden depths. I think deep down somewhere I knew what had happened but my mind refused to acknowledge it.

  “Oria, I—”

  My own growl filled the room, and I glared my accusation. “My father’s not in the basement anymore, is he?”

  She stood, stepping towards me in desperation. “I didn’t know whether or not to tell you, I was worried about what it would do to you.”

  “Like you were worried about telling me he was on pack land in the first place?” I snapped, standing too.

  Brighid rose as well, sticking close to her Alpha Female’s side while Ben and Liam seemed to prepare to get ready for a fight too. Kerra stayed on the couch, shaking her head. “I told you that you were best to be honest with her, Cathwulf.” She sighed.

  Cathwulf faltered at the disapproval coming from her mother, hurt breaking her expression. “My job is to protect my pack.”

  “Have I not proven myself? Have I not shown myself to be stronger and more capable now?”

  “You have, of course you have.”

  “You’ve betrayed my trust, Cathwulf. Again,” I said quietly, looking away from her as my eyes brimmed with tears. “Where is he then? I take it you’ve moved him.”

  I didn’t miss the way that Ben shifted and whispered to Liam, his eyes briefly meeting mine before he stood and pulled his new mate with him. They left and my stomach dropped. Why would they leave unless they knew the answer to my question would bring yet more fighting. My eyes narrowed at Cathwulf, who shifted on her feet. “Don’t get angry, the pups are sleeping�
��”

  “You’ve executed him already,” I guessed, scared of the relief that flooded through me.

  I almost collapsed back onto the couch, glad that I didn’t have to watch my father die. Yet when my friend stuttered, her eyes darting to her mother, a wave of unease washed over me. I swallowed, almost scared about what was being hidden from me. Kerra stood, reaching out for me but I backed away, angrily shaking my head.

  “No, we didn’t execute him,” Cathwulf mumbled.

  I didn’t understand. Brighid looked uncomfortable where she stood, as if she wished she was anywhere else. I was beginning to feel the same. Still Cathwulf only stared at me with that pleading look in her eyes but I stood my ground, folding my arms defiantly. Alpha Female or not, she would tell me what was my right to know.

  “The basement started flooding a few days ago, not so bad at first, but we decided to move him when the weather reports came in that there would be a storm. Flidais, Ben, and Ruiraidh were charged with getting him to the holding unit west of here. We underestimated him,” she finally answered.

  Despite knowing what she meant, despite what common sense told me she meant, I still had to ask. My voice was dangerously low as I asked, “What do you mean, you underestimated him?”

  “He got away.”

  Instincts created by pure terror drove me forward with a growl of fury as I went for my Alpha Female, but Kerra held me back, yanking me away. Cathwulf hadn’t even attempted to move, as if she intended to let me take my hurt out on her. That calmed me down a little, that she knew she’d made a grave mistake and was willing to take any punishment from me. Brighid postured, her eyes glowing as her fur demanded she protect Cathwulf from me. Cat wasn’t at her full strength yet, not after having just given birth, I might have actually had a chance.

  “I’m sorry, Oria,” she choked, her legs trembling beneath her. “Flidais and Glenn are leading the hunt for him, they’ll catch him. Getting away left him with injuries he won’t be able to heal quickly from. It’ll slow him down along with the drugs in his system. Sam made something to knock him out while we moved him but it obviously wasn’t strong enough.”

  Obviously. As if that made me feel any better. As if that would calm the fear that had my heart pounding in my chest. Injury or not, my father was too far gone to really care about the pain. His sane mind was only able to focus on his revenge for me killing my mother and taking another pack away from him, while the unstable part demanded that he save his mate from the pack he thought was somehow stealing her from him.

  “What right did you have to keep this from me?” I whispered brokenly, angry tears streaming down my face. “You realise he won’t run away, he will come back for me. For revenge. He doesn’t care who he has to tear through to get to me. By not telling me, you’ve put me in danger. I’ve been walking around the house like everything is fine when I should have been alert!”

  An unknown strength filled me with confidence as I yelled at my Alpha Female in full view of members of the pack. She faltered, guilt clear on her face. She knew she’d done wrong, I could see that, but I couldn’t help but voice my hurt.

  “I was trying to protect you, Oria. You’re safe in the house, there’s no need to be worried, so why worry you? The storm started and I knew you wouldn’t go to Sam’s or for a run, not while it’s this bad outside. Quillan and I thought it best to keep quiet. You’ve been doing so well, you made your peace with your past, we didn’t want anything to harm the confidence and happiness you found,” she soothed, reaching out for my hand.

  My heart shattered in my chest at the mention of Quillan being involved, a broken breath getting caught in my chest. I stepped back, the gravity of this betrayal felt like a punch to the gut. “I don’t accept that, Cathwulf. I’m a grown female. I don’t need you or anyone else keeping secrets because you don’t think I can handle things. I am not a pup. Safe or not, you should have told me. I won’t stand for the way you treat me any longer. I’m your Beta Female, you’ve charged me with healing your pack members, show me the respect I deserve.”

  For a moment she looked like she was going to argue further then her shoulder dropped, her eyes flicking to something over my shoulder. “You’re right. I should have told you. I’m sorry. I’ve become too used to looking after you, I know I don’t need to anymore.”

  I paused at her sudden change and whipped my head around to see what she’d seen that had her changing her tune. Quillan’s hulking frame filled the door, blocking the light so he seemed like a mass of shadow hiding the world. I narrowed my eyes at him, lifting a hand to stop his approach, my fur letting a warning growl. He opened his mouth to defend himself but I would be heard first.

  “You knew too. You promised you would never treat me as weak, that you saw my strength. You lied,” I accused, tilting my chin up. “You’re not welcome in our den. I don’t see my mate in you tonight.”

  He seemed to fold in on himself, sorrow and what looked like fear in his eyes. “Please—”

  “No! You already did this to me once. I told you what would happen if you lied to me again.”

  Tugging myself out of Kerra’s grip, I walked to the door, refusing to look at my mate, stepping away from his touch. The bond tensed between us, so tight I thought it would snap. It burned like acid on my skin. Slowly, he stepped out of my way and his fingers twitched with the need to reach out for me. Pushing past the ache that settled deep in my bones, I marched past Roarke, who stood in the hall.

  “Oria,” he called, making me still.

  I didn’t turn to face him. My alpha got only my back. He had betrayed me as much as the rest of them. “Don’t punish him too long.”

  I said nothing. My hands fisted. I didn’t know how long I would be able to deny myself of my mate’s touch, or him of mine. I could feel his gaze on my back, urging me turn around but he didn’t try to defend his actions. I stayed still and waited for Roarke to finish. Steps sounded and I stilled, wondering if he was going to punish me for my lack of respect towards him.

  “I will do what I must to regain your trust and respect, Oria. We all made a mistake, and as your Alpha, I’ve failed you. I’ll prove to you I’m worthy of being your Alpha again, your brother,” Roarke promised sincerely.

  Those had not been the words I had expected to hear. Sighing, I finally turned to face him and the deep regret etched into his features caught me off guard. As hard as it was for me to break my own habits of cowering and hiding, I realised it had to be hard for Cathwulf to get used to no longer being my shield against the bad. I’d taught her a lesson in who I was now, something I didn’t know I needed to do until I’d walked out.

  “Just promise me you’ll find him and this time he won’t get the chance to escape,” I mumbled past the lump in my throat.

  I almost gasped when the strongest male I knew, my Alpha, my better, dropped to his knees before me. While he never bowed his head, never submitted, this was the deepest form of apology. He was admitting to his failure.

  “I promise, and I swear to you that I’ll never let you down again, Beta Female. Do you accept my apology?’ he asked, before standing again.

  Nodding, I leaned in to press my cheek against his. “I do, Alpha.”

  But that was all I could manage for now. Turning on my heel, I made my way to the bedroom. When I stepped inside, all the strength that had kept me going dissipated at once. Yet I didn’t let myself sink, I stayed on my feet. Shutting the door, my forehead rested against the cool wood. With every inhale, I could smell Quillan and it tugged at my heart. Did I really want to ban him from coming near me? It would be lonely sleeping by myself in the big bed that held his scent. Our scent. Sighing, I moved away from the door, tying my hair up and away from my face.

  The wind continued to howl loudly, the rain lashing down so hard, I could barely make out the forest outside. Gripping the curtains, I paused. My heart skipped a terrified beat. It took me a moment to realise that the shadow moving that had caught my eye was someone in the kit
chen, the light blocked as they walked through. I closed the curtains and moved away from the window, rubbing my face. Were they perhaps right to keep me in the dark? I’d only known a few minutes and already I was scared of every sound and sight. I knew I would feel a whole lot safer with Quillan in the room.

  Perhaps he had felt me soften towards him through the bond or he could feel my slowly building terror, but the male himself opened the door. He hesitated a moment, waiting to see if I would banish him but when I only slumped onto the bed, he came in.

  I moved over so he could sit by me, making sure there was space between us because I hadn’t forgiven him quite yet.

  “I won’t try and defend what I nor Cathwulf did. I will say that I didn’t agree to hide this from you because I thought you were weak. I’m as angry at myself as you are. I should have been the one to take him. I should have overseen it. I couldn’t bear to see you unhappy or scared again, Oria, so yes, I hid it from you,” he explained with open honesty, his eyes trying to catch and hold mine. “I broke my promise and I won’t ask you to forgive me.”

  I mulled over his words a moment before looking up at him. He seemed to relax, his hand sliding towards mine in the bed, pausing to let me decide whether he was allowed my touch. Sighing, my fingers tangled with his.

  “I swear to the gods that I will never keep secrets from you again,” he vowed, squeezing my hand. But had he not already promised that to me before?

  Looking up at him, I searched his face. Did he understand now that he really would lose me, he and Cathwulf both, if they didn’t change.

  “You better not. I won’t be so forgiving next time,” I replied tightly.

  We both knew that wasn’t true though. I wasn’t one to harbour a grudge, not for long, not if they’d earned forgiveness. And I would make him earn it. Otherwise, I would find the strength from somewhere to make him sleep on the couch, far from me.