by Laura Martin
Now would be the perfect moment for him to reveal he wasn’t Leo, he wasn’t the man meant to be in their drawing room, but just as he opened his mouth to speak again Lady Elizabeth gave an almost imperceptible shake of her head. Josh clamped his lips together.
‘Of course, Lady Hummingford. You must rest,’ he said, doing his best impression of Leo.
‘We should leave, Mr Ashburton.’ Lady Elizabeth took a step towards the door and Josh followed, offering her his arm once they were downstairs.
‘Have a lovely evening,’ Lady Hummingford called after them.
Neither spoke until they were in the carriage and Josh had given the instruction for the driver to move away.
‘Mr Ashburton,’ Lady Elizabeth said slowly, looking at him carefully as if to be completely sure as to his identity.
‘Indeed.’
‘It is you?’
‘Yes. It’s me.’ He smiled at her and felt a flood of satisfaction as the colour rose to her cheeks. He hadn’t been mistaken; she was glad it was him. ‘My brother sends his apologies, he’s been called away. Lord Abbingdon has been taken unwell.’
‘Nothing serious, I hope?’
‘Leo won’t know until he is there. Let’s hope not.’ He paused, leaning back and looking at Lady Elizabeth for a few seconds before continuing. ‘You knew it was me straight away?’
She hesitated and then lifted her eyes to meet his. ‘Yes. You look quite similar to your brother in many ways, but there are plenty of differences too. And there’s something about your demeanour, how you come across. I think I’d know the difference between you and your brother even if you were completely identical.’
Her answer pleased him more than it should.
‘Yet you stopped me from telling your mother the truth.’
Lady Elizabeth’s eyes widened. ‘I did,’ she said slowly.
‘Why?’
‘She would only have made a fuss.’
‘Cancelled the evening in favour of rearranging when Leo was available?’
‘Exactly.’
‘And you didn’t want that?’ He watched the colour deepen in her cheeks as she shook her head.
‘I didn’t want that,’ she admitted, her voice little more than a whisper.
Josh leaned in, closing the gap between them in the small carriage. ‘I’m glad. I didn’t want that either.’
‘You were keen to see the pleasure gardens?’
He smiled. ‘That, amongst other things.’ He shook his head, knowing he could not go any further down this route, reminding himself of why he was here: purely for Leo’s benefit. ‘How are you, Lady Elizabeth? Have you recovered from the incident earlier?’
‘Yes, thank you. I’m indebted to you.’
‘Not at all.’
‘I won’t be taking any more walks alone in Hyde Park that early in the morning.’
‘Nor elsewhere, I hope.’
‘No.’ She sighed. ‘Part of me wishes I could just be back in Sussex where things are more simple and I can walk out alone without fear for my safety.’
‘You’ll be going home after this season?’ He realised his error as soon as he’d uttered the words. If things went to plan for Lady Elizabeth she would never be going home again. She would marry Leo and uproot her life to live wherever he chose. ‘Sorry, I didn’t think.’
‘I’ll miss my home, of course I will.’ She looked away for a moment. ‘It will be my sister I miss the most though. This trip is the longest we’ve been apart.’
‘You have a sister? I didn’t realise.’
‘Yes, Annabelle. She’s a year younger than me.’
Josh frowned; if he wasn’t mistaken, Lady Elizabeth was in her early twenties. He couldn’t see why her sister wasn’t accompanying Lady Elizabeth and their mother for the season in London.
‘She didn’t want a season in London?’
Lady Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably. ‘Mother thought it best she stayed at home.’
Josh nodded, wondering if the finances were so tight they couldn’t stretch to bringing both sisters to London for a few months. If that was the case Lady Elizabeth’s family badly needed this marriage to Leo and the money and connections it would bring them.
‘I’m sure she’ll visit you once you’re married.’
Lady Elizabeth nodded but it didn’t seem as if she agreed with his statement.
‘We’re nearly at the pleasure gardens,’ she said, swiftly changing the subject.
‘Have you been before?’
‘No, but I can tell by the queue of carriages. It’s quite the popular spot.’
‘I’ve been intrigued about these gardens, the spectacle of them lit up at night, ever since Leo spoke about them.’
‘How are you finding your reunion with your brother?’
‘It is strange, I can’t deny it. In some ways it is as if we haven’t been separated for over twenty years. He’s always been my brother, even if we were half a world apart. Yet...’ He trailed off, trying to think of the right way to express the barrier he felt between himself and Leo, the sense that his brother was holding part of himself back. ‘Leo was always hard-working, serious, even as a boy, but I can remember his laugh, his love of playing games. I haven’t seen that side of him since my return.’
‘He’s always focussed on his duty?’
‘Exactly. And I understand he has great responsibility, he runs all of Lord Abbingdon’s estates, takes care of all the family business.’
‘It’s still early. Perhaps as he relaxes into having you back a little more you’ll see other parts of him.’
‘Perhaps.’ Josh hoped so. He got the sense that Leo was a successful man, driven and ambitious, but he wasn’t sure he was happy. ‘He will make a good husband though, you have nothing to fear there. He’s a good man, a kind man.’
Lady Elizabeth looked away and Josh tried to read the expression on her face but found it impossible.
‘We’re here,’ she said, seeming relieved to change the subject from her impending marriage.
* * *
Beth took Mr Ashburton’s hand and leaned on him a little as he helped her down from the carriage. Ever since she’d first stepped into the drawing room and realised it was Joshua Ashburton waiting for her rather than his brother she’d felt on edge and excitable. She’d seen he was about to explain his identity to her mother and something rebellious had stirred inside her. She wanted to go to the pleasure gardens with him, wanted to stroll arm in arm by the lamplight. In three months she would likely be married and would never be able to do anything so reckless again.
‘Do you see your mother’s friends?’ He had kept hold of her hand as he looked around and Beth did nothing to pull away.
‘No, perhaps they’re not here yet.’
‘Did your mother say we were meeting them inside the gardens or outside?’
‘She didn’t say.’
They walked slowly to the little kiosk where the tickets were sold, but just as they were about to approach a footman in a smart livery hopped out of a carriage and hurried over.
‘Lady Elizabeth,’ he said once in earshot, executing a deep bow, ‘Mr and Mrs Wilson beg your forgiveness.’
‘They are well, I hope?’ Beth peered around the footman to look at the carriage. No one else was emerging—they must have sent the footman in their stead.
‘They have received some bad news. Mrs Wilson did not want to let you down, but Mr Wilson insisted they stay in for her health.’
‘Of course. Please tell them not to worry at all and give them my best wishes. I will send a note tomorrow to ask when I might call on them.’
‘Thank you, my lady.’
The footman hurried back to the waiting carriage and hopped back inside and Beth and Mr Ashburton watched as it sped away.
‘All to myself,�
� Beth heard Mr Ashburton murmur and she turned to see him smiling at her, a hint of mischief in his eyes.
‘I suppose we should return home.’
‘We could. We probably should.’ He looked over his shoulder to the entrance to the pleasure gardens. ‘Although I’m told it is no more scandalous to stroll around the gardens than to walk together in the park.’
‘In the day maybe.’
‘It is still light.’ They both looked up at the rapidly fading light.
‘You are a bad influence, Mr Ashburton.’
‘Half an hour—grant me that. Then I will return you back home, reputation intact.’
Beth glanced at the entrance and then to their carriage waiting a little way down the road.
‘Half an hour?’
‘I even promise to stick to the main paths.’
‘I do want to see inside...’
As soon as she acquiesced he was on his way to the kiosk, asking for two tickets and handing over the money.
There was a small group of people going through the entrance gates but once inside they seemed to disperse and Beth and Mr Ashburton could amble along looking at the gardens as if it were their own private space.
Although she had felt an initial uncertainty about stepping into the pleasure gardens without a chaperon Beth knew she was never going to say no. There was something about Mr Ashburton that made her want to ignore every sensible instinct in her body, to be reckless and rebellious.
‘Look, they’re lighting the lamps. When it gets dark the lamps will guide the way along the paths.’ Mr Ashburton was pointing to where half a dozen workers were making their way along the edge of the paths lighting the lamps that were positioned at regular intervals.
‘It must look magical in the dark, lit by just the flickering lamps.’
‘Perhaps we could stay until just after sunset. Another few minutes surely won’t make much difference.’
‘You will get me into trouble, Mr Ashburton.’
‘I have an important duty to carry out tonight, Lady Elizabeth, and I need as much time as possible to complete it.’
‘What duty is that?’
‘Leo has charged me with finding out a little about you, about your character.’
Beth blinked, wondering if she meant so little to the man she was one day to be engaged to that he didn’t think he should be having this conversation himself. She felt the sadness descend upon her as she often did when she thought of her impending marriage and the reason she was the one needed to support her whole family.
‘You look sad, Lady Elizabeth,’ Mr Ashburton said quietly. He looked thoughtful for a moment. ‘I know this isn’t how a young lady would hope to be wooed.’
‘It’s not that. Or perhaps it is a little.’ She sighed, knowing she shouldn’t be showing any of these emotions. Mr Ashburton had just said he’d been charged with finding out a little of her character. Now was not the time to show her doubts or her frustrations with her lot. Yet Mr Ashburton was easy to talk to, perhaps too easy, and she had the urge to spill her deepest thoughts and secrets.
‘I know it is the way of the world, the way of our world at least, but when I was a young girl this wasn’t how I thought my entire future would be decided.’
‘You could say no to Leo,’ Mr Ashburton said quietly. He was looking down, as if not to put further pressure on her with his gaze. The words were probing enough.
‘No, I couldn’t. Not really.’ She exhaled forcefully and then added quickly, ‘Not that I want to say no, you understand, it is just it feels as though my whole life is being mapped out and I don’t have a say.’
‘Surely your mother would understand if you wanted to make a different choice.’
Beth considered whether to try to change the subject, but something about Mr Ashburton’s open, friendly face made her continue. ‘Things have not been easy since my father died. Not easy at all. There is my mother and sister to support and if I am honest it is either finding a husband or seeking employment as a companion or some such role.’ Beth laughed but it was without humour. ‘And you can imagine my mother’s opinion on paid employment.’
‘What about your sister?’
‘What about her?’ Beth couldn’t stop the sharp edge coming into her voice as it always did when someone asked about Annabelle.
‘Is she looking for a husband too?’
‘No.’
‘Surely she is also of an age to marry. It would lift some of your burden.’
‘Annabelle can’t...’ she said sharply, then closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself. ‘I’m sorry. Annabelle isn’t planning on marrying.’
Mr Ashburton regarded her for a moment and she saw the questions in his expression, but he just shrugged in that relaxed manner of his and moved on.
‘Forget about duty for a moment,’ Mr Ashburton said, holding up a hand to ward off her protests. ‘Difficult, I know, but just suspend reality for a few minutes. If you could have any life you chose, what would it be?’
Beth considered. For so long her future had been mapped out, prepared for her. Even before Mr Leonard Ashburton had been proposed as her future husband she had been brought up to be a wife and a mother, to run a household, to raise the children. Her hopes and her dreams had never been asked about, let alone considered when planning her life.
‘I’d like to travel, to ride across Europe on horseback, sail around Africa, to journey across the Atlantic and continue on from New York to the west coast.’
‘They’re big dreams.’
‘And entirely impossible.’ She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the images of all the places she wished to visit but most likely never would. ‘I do want to marry, to have children, to do all the normal things expected of me.’
‘But perhaps not yet,’ Mr Ashburton murmured.
‘How about you? You’re free, unfettered. What are your dreams?’
‘Not so free. As I mentioned, my guardian is expecting me back home in nine months. He’s stepping back and I will take over running the company. It’s what I’ve been working towards most of my life, but it is a big responsibility. There will be no time for anything else for the next few years.’
Beth nodded slowly. She was being self-indulgent. Everyone was trapped by their circumstances, the expectations of others and having to put practical considerations above emotional.
They walked in silence for a few minutes, taking one of the winding paths off the main walkway that led through a beautiful garden filled with trickling waterfalls and mossy green ferns. To the west the sun was setting, casting a burnt-orange glow to the sky. There was no one else in this part and Mr Ashburton led her towards the fountain in the middle of a little garden that was surrounded by a low stone wall. He sat and after a moment’s hesitation she did the same, feeling a sense of calm wash over her as she listened to the splash of the water behind them and watched the sun dropping in the sky in front of them.
‘It all doesn’t seem so bad when you stop a moment and watch something like this,’ she murmured.
Mr Ashburton’s eyes were on her and she felt the already familiar pull, as if she were being reeled in towards him despite Mr Ashburton not moving an inch.
‘I always sit and watch the sunset, ever since my first voyage to India twenty-five years ago.’
‘You used to watch it on the ship?’
‘Yes. I was a very sad little boy then. I adored my parents and they’d just died, and I’d been taken away from the brother I loved and looked up to.’
There was a hint of sadness in his eyes even now and Beth remembered her devastation at losing her own father five years earlier. She’d been much older than Mr Ashburton had been when he’d lost his parents and she’d still felt as though her world was falling apart. She liked that he was so open about his emotions, so willing to show the human side of him
self. So many gentlemen were stiff and seemed as if they were keeping everything locked inside.
‘My guardian was very kind to me, but he’s also a very wise man. He didn’t rush my grief, didn’t push me to stop mourning my parents. I wanted to be on my own a lot, but each night on the ship he would find me after dinner, take me up to the deck and we would watch the sun set together.’
‘He sounds like a wonderful man.’
‘He is. He taught me to never underestimate the need for peace and tranquillity in your life. So every night, no matter how busy I am at the docks or with the workers, I will pause to watch the sun set and take a moment to appreciate the good things in life.’
Beth remained quiet for a moment, contemplating his words. ‘It’s something we do far too rarely,’ she murmured eventually, watching the sun start to fall beneath the horizon.
Soon there was just the orange hue left and the rapidly falling darkness.
‘Our lives are so different,’ Beth said, turning back to face Mr Ashburton to find him watching her. ‘You have purpose, an idea of your future, what your life will look like. For a long time I’ve felt as though I’ve just been waiting. Yet you are still better at appreciating the quiet moments. How can that be?’
‘Natural talent?’ He had a gleam in his eye and the hint of a smile on his lips.
‘That’s something to put in your obituary one day. “He was talented at being still.”’
‘Perhaps not what I’d like to be remembered for.’
‘What would you like to be remembered for?’
‘I’m too late to be the man who invents the steam engine or the hot-air balloon—perhaps I’ll have to be contented to be remembered as the man who brings the steam railway to India. One day the Usbourne Shipping and Transport Company will be at the forefront of the development of a countrywide steam railway network.’
Beth laughed. ‘Nothing too ambitious, then.’
‘I wouldn’t want to stretch myself.’
She wasn’t sure how but the distance between them seemed to be shrinking; his hand was almost touching hers where it rested on the stone surround of the fountain and she felt her body edging towards him, as well.