by Laura Martin
‘What would you like to be remembered for?’ He held her gaze as he waited for her to answer and, with his eyes fixed on hers, Beth found it hard to think of anything but the man next to her.
‘No one has ever asked that of me before. Are wives and mothers remembered past their children’s generation, perhaps their grandchildren’s?’ She shrugged her shoulders, a gesture her mother absolutely hated. ‘If I could do anything I suppose I’d like to travel the world and write about it. To become the person experiencing all these fabulous places rather than reading about them.’
‘That is a good ambition.’
It was getting dark quickly now, the sky turning from orange to black, and behind them the main path was lit up with the twinkling lights of the lamps. It was a romantic location, perfect for couples wanting something a little more private than a night at the opera or sharing a dance at a ball. She glanced at Mr Ashburton. It was his brother she should be here with, but she found she couldn’t regret it was Joshua Ashburton who had turned up at her house tonight.
‘You look thoughtful.’ Their hands were touching now, little finger to little finger, the contact sending warm bolts through her skin.
‘I was thinking how glad I am we’re here tonight.’ She paused and corrected herself. ‘How glad I am to be here with you.’
There was a moment where neither of them moved, and then Mr Ashburton’s hands were on her face, guiding her lips towards his. He kissed her hard, as if he knew this would be the only kiss they would share, as if the illicitness was driving him on. Beth felt every muscle in her body clench and tighten, and she gripped hold of him, willing him not to pull away. Never had she felt such desire. It flooded through her, threatening to drown her, and only once he pulled away slightly did she realise she hadn’t taken a breath for the whole time they’d been kissing.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, using one hand to tidy her hair where he must have tangled his fingers in it.
‘Don’t say sorry.’
He looked at her, and for a moment she thought he was going to kiss her again, but then, with the most serious expression on his face she’d ever seen, he moved away.
‘I didn’t plan that,’ he said quietly. ‘I don’t want you to think I brought you here to...take advantage of you.’
‘I know.’ Of course, she believed him. There was an undeniable attraction between them, a pull that was difficult to ignore. She believed Mr Ashburton was an honourable man, just as she was normally a respectable young woman. They’d both been caught up in the moment. He trailed his fingers across her cheek, as if he couldn’t help but touch her, and Beth had the urge to sink into him, to feel his body against hers. There was a surge of desire in his eyes and then suddenly he dropped his hand and looked away.
‘Perhaps I’d better see you home.’
‘I don’t want to leave things like this. There doesn’t need to be any awkwardness between us.’ As soon as the words left her lips she knew they were a lie. She would never feel comfortable in Mr Ashburton’s company because she was craving something that he could not give her, something they could not share.
‘No awkwardness,’ he said. He lifted his hand as if about to touch her on the cheek again, but stopped with his fingers midway between them. Instead he stood and offered her his arm. As she rose and fell in beside him she felt her heart sink. It was cruel that the first man she’d ever felt any attraction to, the only man she’d ever felt any attraction to, was unavailable to her. Worse than that, he was the brother of the man she was meant to be convincing to marry her.
Chapter Five
Josh shifted in his seat for the fiftieth time, feeling the guilt gnawing at him. He’d thought about making an excuse to his brother, finding any reason to be anywhere other than the opera house this evening. It might be the sensible thing to do, but to Josh it seemed cowardly, so here he was speeding towards an evening in the company of Lady Elizabeth.
Five days, that was how long had passed since their kiss in the Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens. Five days to dwell on each exquisite moment, and wallow in guilt that he’d let it occur. He’d almost confessed to Leo a grand total of six times, but on each occasion he’d hesitated, knowing it wasn’t just his secret to tell. It might change how Leo saw Lady Elizabeth, and, although Josh wasn’t enamoured with the idea of her marrying his brother, he did understand she had to marry someone and Leo would treat her well.
‘Did the old man appreciate you dropping everything and speeding to his bedside?’ Josh tried to distract himself from thoughts of Lady Elizabeth in any way he could. Leo had returned home two days ago, declaring Lord Abbingdon in fine health.
‘I’m not sure Lord Abbingdon appreciates anything or anyone.’ Leo had a wry smile on his lips but he still looked tired, having ridden for a day each way to visit the old man and then stayed up late working to catch up on what he had missed whilst away on his trip. ‘Tell me, did you go to the pleasure gardens with Lady Elizabeth in the end?’
‘Yes.’
Leo regarded him for a moment, an eyebrow raised in question. ‘And?’
‘It was a pleasant evening.’
‘Lady Elizabeth seems an unoffensive enough girl, although her mother is a little...persistent.’
‘Her mother was unwell. She didn’t accompany us.’
‘Oh? And she allowed Lady Elizabeth out unchaperoned?’
‘She arranged for some friends to meet us at the gardens.’
‘I see. So what did you think?’
‘Of Lady Elizabeth?’
Leo nodded his head.
‘She’s a very nice young lady.’ He tried to make his answer as bland as possible, aware of Leo’s eyes resting on him.
‘Anything scandalous? Or annoying?’
‘No, although I only spent an hour or two in her company.’
The carriage drew to a stop outside a grand building that people were already streaming into. Josh was dressed in his finest evening wear, but as he looked out of the window he saw he wasn’t going to be out of place. The ladies were wearing flowing dresses made of satin and silk and many had feathers or other decorations in their hair. The gentlemen all wore jackets and cravats, some carried canes and all had smart top hats on their heads.
‘A place to be seen,’ Josh murmured. Society here still puzzled him a little. In India, of course, there was a class system. It was at times difficult to understand and harsh in the unbending division of the castes. The people he socialised with were other landowners, other men of business and their families. The circle was small but the rules much more lax than here in England.
‘Do they have opera in India?’
‘Not that I’ve ever seen.’ Josh smiled at the idea. He’d been to the theatre many times, marvelling at the bright costumes and complex steps performed by the Indian dancers, but something told him this was going to be an entirely different experience.
They made their way through the crowds into the opera house. Josh had to suppress a smile at the number of people who stared at him and Leo, obvious in their shock at the similarities between the two brothers, one of whom they’d had no idea existed.
He knew the moment Lady Elizabeth stepped through the doors. They were talking to Lord Willingham and his wife, discussing all the new building going on around London, when he caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye. She glided into the atrium, petite and poised, and seemed to suck all the air out of the room. He couldn’t help but turn towards her, catching her eye for just a fraction of a second before forcing himself to turn away.
As he rejoined the conversation he felt Leo’s eyes on him for a moment, a slight frown on his brow.
‘Mr Ashburton, Mr Ashburton,’ Lady Elizabeth said with a polite little dip of her head as she came to join their circle. ‘And, Lady Willingham, how lovely to see you and your husband again.’
Josh watched as she charme
d the elderly couple, marvelling at how easily she slipped into this world. From the little she’d told him about her life she hadn’t experienced much of London society herself, but it would seem some things were innate behaviours for someone of her rank. She was attentive and interested in what the couple had to say and he could feel Leo’s approval directed towards her as she demonstrated how good she could be in company.
Josh felt a spark of jealousy and quickly dampened it down. Lady Elizabeth had informed him how important it was she marry Leo. He liked her, respected her, and as such he should be pleased she was gaining his brother’s approval.
‘Shall we go upstairs?’ Leo suggested once Lord and Lady Willingham had taken their leave. He offered his arm to Lady Elizabeth and she took it, but not before Josh caught her glance surreptitiously at him. He shook his head, trying to convey that their illicit kiss remained a secret between them.
When they arrived at their box Josh was distracted for a few minutes, taking in the opulence of the theatre and the rows upon rows of well-dressed people settling into their seats. Their box was just to the right of the stage, affording them a decent view of both the stage area and the other guests.
‘Would you excuse me for a moment? There’s someone I have to speak to,’ Leo said, directing his words to Lady Elizabeth. She smiled graciously and watched as he left.
Once they were alone for a moment neither of them moved. Lady Elizabeth’s posture seemed unusually stiff and Josh realised she was struggling not to turn to him.
‘Lady Elizabeth,’ he began but she shook her head.
‘My mother will be here at any moment. She was just talking to some friends downstairs.’
‘I wasn’t planning on saying anything scandalous,’ he murmured. He could see the twitch at the corner of her lips as she tried her hardest not to smile. ‘Unless you’re more worried about my actions than my words.’
Lady Elizabeth stood abruptly, her cheeks flushing with colour. The movement drew some stares in their direction and he saw Lady Elizabeth notice them too, forcing herself to sit back down slowly.
‘I meant no offence. I merely wanted to lighten the tension.’
‘You haven’t said anything to your brother?’ She didn’t look at him as she spoke and he had the irrational urge to do something to provoke her.
‘About?’
‘You know what about.’
He normally thought of himself as a chivalrous man, but Lady Elizabeth was still refusing to look at him and he knew they had at most a couple of minutes before either her mother or his brother returned.
‘Leo is a very understanding man,’ he said quietly.
Lady Elizabeth finally turned her horrified eyes on him and immediately he regretted deceiving her.
‘I haven’t said anything,’ he reassured her quickly. ‘Part of me wanted to, but it isn’t just my secret to tell.’
‘Thank you.’ Her expression was serious again and he wondered if she had been worrying that Leo would find out about the kiss ever since the evening they’d spent in the pleasure gardens. She sighed and Josh had the impression she was weighed down by her worries this evening.
‘Is something else troubling you?’
‘My mother,’ she said eventually, tilting her head towards him so no one in the surrounding boxes would be able to ascertain her words. ‘She keeps pressing me on where I am with the...engagement.’
‘Of course, she thinks Leo took you for a stroll through the pleasure gardens.’
‘She thinks he should have had enough time to assess our suitability.’ Lady Elizabeth bit her lip and Josh’s eyes were drawn to where her teeth made an indent in the rosy skin. For a moment he was completely distracted from what she was saying, imagining instead tracing a finger over her lip and smoothing the frown off her brow at the same time.
‘Ah, Mr Ashburton, what a delight it is to see you again.’ Lady Hummingford sailed into the box and greeted him. She flashed him her most charming smile as he stood and bowed and he realised she’d once again mistaken him for his brother. She eyed her daughter and seemed to decide it would be a good idea to leave them alone for a few more minutes, albeit with the eyes of all the other opera-goers on them. ‘I’m just going to have a little word with Mrs Arlington. I’ll be back shortly.’
‘Mother...’ Lady Elizabeth started, but Lady Hummingford was already halfway out of the box.
‘Do we really look that similar?’
Lady Elizabeth smiled for the first time since being left alone in the box with him. ‘No, at least I don’t think so. There are many similarities between you, especially on first glance, but you don’t look identical. At least not to me.’ The last sentence was added quietly as she raised her eyes up to meet his.
Josh felt the pull of desire, the undeniable attraction, but there was something more there too. Of course, he found Lady Elizabeth physically attractive, she was pretty and petite and her smile was nothing short of dazzling, but there was more to it than that. He’d never grown close to a woman before, he’d always been too focussed on the business to take much notice of the young women thrust towards him in society in India, but now he wanted to know Lady Elizabeth. He wanted to know what made her happy and what made her sad. He wanted to uncover her sense of humour and discover why she frowned every time she spoke of her childhood.
Careful, he cautioned himself silently. Even to his mind it sounded as if he was falling for Lady Elizabeth.
‘Tell me how this works,’ Josh said, searching for an innocuous subject to distract him from the thoughts in his head. He didn’t want to feel anything for Lady Elizabeth, didn’t want to complicate his short stay in England with anything unnecessary. Three months and he would be returning to India and she would need her reputation intact to marry.
‘How what works?’
‘The opera. All of this.’ He gestured to the beautiful people sitting in the boxes, the ladies fluttering their fans and deep in conversation with one another, the men often sitting slightly further back and observing the proceedings.
‘Can I tell you a secret?’
‘Of course.’
Lady Elizabeth lowered her voice and leaned in closer to him. There was still a chair separating them but even so Josh fancied he caught a hint of the rose perfume she used to scent her hair.
‘This is my first time at the opera too. Mother made me promise I wouldn’t say anything.’
‘She worries Leo will be put off by your lack of funds?’
‘Perhaps, although your brother cannot be ignorant of how we’ve struggled since my father’s death. I think she worries more I will seem unrefined. It must be unheard of for a young woman of the aristocracy not to have attended the opera by her twenty-second year.’ She shook her head with a wry smile. ‘Mother made sure I had good tutors, could play three different instruments, speak French and organise wonderful dinner parties, but we haven’t been to London for years and there are some experiences the wilds of Sussex just can’t give you.’ She gave a brief smile and Josh felt a surge of desire as his body inched towards her. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from her lips and found it hard to focus on anything but the thought of kissing her again.
‘I’m hardly the person to reassure you on the matter of refinement,’ Josh said with an answering smile, ‘but I doubt Leo would be so shallow. What does it matter to him if you’ve been to the opera before?’
‘One of the main roles as the wife of a member of the aristocracy is to make their husband look good. A wife who isn’t refined, who doesn’t know when to applaud and when to sit back, that could make the husband look bad.’
Josh shook his head in amazement. He didn’t understand the aristocracy. He couldn’t imagine deciding who to marry based, not on love or mutual respect or friendship, but on whether or not that person would behave correctly at the opera and dinner parties.
‘It is
important,’ Lady Elizabeth said insistently. ‘Think about your world, imagine marrying someone who didn’t know how to interact with the other landowners or their wives, who made socialising more difficult for you.’
‘I wouldn’t decide not to marry someone just because she didn’t know how to make small talk about cotton or workers’ rights.’
He could see she wanted to say more on the subject, but something caught her eye down below. Josh leaned over the edge of the box, following her line of vision, catching sight of the flickering flames just as someone below shouted, ‘Fire.’ Immediately he felt a rush of energy throughout his body, as if it were preparing him to jump down and tackle the blaze himself.
The fire looked as though it had started at the edge of the stage, where the curtain had billowed and strayed too close to one of the sconces holding half a dozen candles. As they watched the fire flickered for a few moments and there was a second when it seemed as though it might die out, and then suddenly it took hold, speeding up the curtain, sending out thick billowing smoke.
For a long moment all eyes were turned to the stage as if mesmerised by the flickering flames and then the shouts and screams began as people began to panic. Josh knew a fire like this in a packed building with only one main entrance could be a disaster and quickly he grabbed hold of Lady Elizabeth’s hand and pulled her to her feet. He’d seen a fire like this before, in one of the warehouses near where their ships docked, and he would never forget how quickly it spread or the devastation it had left in its wake.
‘We need to go,’ he said, pushing the chairs out of the way and pulling her out of the box. Their box was situated right by the stage and as such they were one of the closest to the fire and furthest from the stairs. Already people were dashing out of their boxes and stampeding along the wide, plush corridor, their politeness forgotten in their panic.